a/n: i don't usually change pov part of the way through, but i think it's necessary for this one
.ennoshita.
holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.
was this really happening?! did he just say that he's not straight and that he likes me?! me?!
wait, i'm a bad bitch, i shouldn't be surprised.
but, god, i'm actually so surprised right now.
oh wait, i need to respond, i haven't done that yet. or have i?
i looked at his face, and judging by his incredibly nervous expression, i probably hadn't replied to him yet.
i forced a laugh and tried to seem nonchalant.
"ha, yeah, i do like you. have for a while now, i'm surprised you didn't figure it out. i guess you were just an oblivious straight guy though."
i swore i saw him let out a tiny sigh in relief.
"yeah, well... i'm still not entirely sure of my sexuality, but i know that i really like you, so please go out with me!"
i blinked.
"alright."
he blinked back.
"wait... for real?!"
i smiled.
"yeah, we're dating now."
it felt so weird to say that out loud. is this a dream? i wanted i pinch myself, but that'd be weird.
"whoa, that's awesome, who knew that'd be so easy?"
i rolled my eyes.
now that he wasn't so nervous, he was the same as ever.
"so easy, huh?"
"i mean... kind of. when yacchan suggested it, it didn't seem do-able, but here we are, so that's good, i guess."
"wait, is that why you've been hanging out with the managers so much recently? were you getting advice?"
"perhaps."
i laughed. and here i was nervous that he was trying to get with kiyoko, when he was really trying to figure out how to get with me!
"well, if we're dating now, and it's really so easy, then why don't you kiss me?"
wait, what was i saying?! of course i wanted to kiss him, but i still didn't know how comfortable he was with his sexuality yet, and how long he'd been thinking of everything, and-
and suddenly, he was right in front of me.
"alright," he agreed.
i could tell he was trying to appear more confident than he was, but he was probably really nervous.
would this be his first gay kiss?
i mean, i assume so, he's always been the token straight guy on the team after all.
he reached his hand up to cup my face, and started leaning in.
i could feel his breath, warm on my face, and then-
"hey! tanaka! ennoshita! get in here and help us clean up!"
he jumped away, and stumbled back a few feet, looking like a deer in headlights, then smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.
"well, guess we should get in there... sor-"
before he had the chance to apologize, i marched up to him, grabbed his collar, and kissed him.
just a short peck on the lips, but his entire face turned red, and i smirked in satisfaction.
"right, like you said, we should get in there now, right? they need us to help clean up."
without waiting for his response, i turned on my heel and marched back into the gym.
.tanaka.
holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.
was this really happening?!
did i finally just kiss him? or he finally kissed me?
i pinched my arm to make sure i wasn't dreaming, then my fingers drifted up to touch my lips.
i didn't have a lot of reference points for kissing, but that was definitely better than my kiss with noya (sorry, noya).
i definitely enjoyed it a lot more, and i think if i didn't know i liked him already, this just confirmed it.
suddenly the door slid open, and suga poked his head out.
"tanaka, what's taking so long?"
i blinked and put my hand down.
"sorry, i was lost in thought."
"don't tell me you and ennoshita fought this time... i mean, he didn't seem too upset when he came in, so..."
i shook my head.
"nuh-uh. i'll tell you about it later, but it's nothing bad."
"alright. now get in here, the floors don't mop themselves."
"yeah, whatever."
///
i was at home again, and i couldn't stop pacing. i was on the phone with noya, freaking out.
"bro, oh my god, i'm! like, panicking? not in a bad way, but i'm just overwhelmed!"
"details. what happened outside?"
"so basically when i went to talk to the managers, i asked for advice about how to ask him out, and yacchan was just like, 'bro, it's not that hard, why not just do it?' and i was like 'listen, would you be able to just do it?' and long story short she ended up asking kiyoko out right there and she said yes, and i was like, 'omg! am i witnessing the beginning of a new, beautiful, gay relationship?' and yeah, i was so that was crazy. so then i was inspired by yachi's confidence when i went back to the group."
"aha! so how did it go? did he say yes? did you chicken out or did you actually ask him?"
"ok, shh, so we went outside, and i just said i liked him, and wondered if he liked me back, and if he wanted to go out with me. and he was quiet for a bit which freaked me out, i was almost shaking, but then he was like, 'yeah, i like you, i'll go out with you.' and i was like-"
i let out a huge breath of air to mimic a sigh of relief.
"'thank goodness,' but i didn't say that out loud, maybe i should've though. i was a little caught off guard so i said, 'for real?' and he said yeah, and i ran my stupid mouth again and said, 'well that was easier than i thought it would be.' and he was all like, 'well, if it was so easy, then kiss me,' and i was like 'WHOA, WHAT?!' but i didn't say that out loud of course. obviously i was super cool and calm and collected and went, 'okay.' but inside!! i was so scared! i was shaking a little bit and felt all short of breath because, ya know, my first gay kiss! and-"
"hey! i was your first gay kiss!"
i stared at him pointedly and he grinned.
"you know what i mean," i said with an eye roll. "my first meaningful gay kiss. anyway, i was like a centimeter away from his lips, and that's when suga yelled at us to get back in, and i was so startled that i jumped back and was like, 'oops, guess we have to go inside now, i'll get back to you on that later,' but chikara was having none of it, and he marched up to me and grabbed my collar, and just... kissed me!"
i could feel my face heating up, but i continued.
"and i was like, 'hhhhhh,' because! ahh!! i can't believe this! a week ago, i never would have imagined..."
i trailed off, starting to feel a little funny. this huge life development was happening, in what? five days? six? basically my whole life had just turned around.
"oh boy. hey, ryū? you good, buddy?"
i dragged my hand down my face, and tapped the side of my head a couple times in frustration before letting my arm flop back down at my side.
"ughh, i don't know?? i just realized everything is happening really fast, and- and it's kind of hard to breathe."
"shit. do you need me to come over?"
i shook my head.
"no, it's fine. i'll be fine."
"if you say so... i know it's a really terrifying thing, and i can't imagine how it is for you. i had a lot of time to think everything over and come to terms with my feelings before... you know. and, well, you haven't really had all that time to process. i brought this up less than a week ago, and you were already awesome enough to take initiative to figure out your feelings and act on them! and yeah, it's gonna feel new and scary now, but just try to take things slowly, and you'll get used to it."
"yeah... feels a little weird that i still haven't told kinoshita or narita yet though."
"i mean if you want to we can do that now! hang on, lemme add them to the call!"
he grinned widely and tapped his screen while i did a double take.
"wait, i-"
"too late, it's connecting!"
"what's up?" kinoshita asked.
"yeah, you never call us out of the blue like this!" narita exclaimed, the sarcasm thick in his voice.
noya rolled his eyes.
"ha ha very funny, but some things are just too important to only text about."
"it was just a dog you saw on the street!"
noya, kinoshita, and i gasped in unison.
"listen, i may not be a fan of all the random calls too, but how could you say just a dog?!" kinoshita questioned.
"exactly!" noya added.
"but anyway, you also could've just texted us about that. i love to see dogs, but i'm not sure if it warrants a whole facetime."
noya shook his head.
"i guess you're right, but this is actually super important."
"alright, what is it?"
"i swear if it turns out to be something trivial again..." narita muttered.
noya directed his gaze to my box on the facetime screen.
"ryū?"
i mentally prepared myself for what i was about to do, before taking a deep breath and spitting it all out as fast as i could.
"so noya and i may or may not have just had a big heart to heart where basically i had a big breakthrough, and realized i may or may not have a crush on ennoshita, and when i talked to him outside, i asked him out and he said yes."
narita's jaw dropped and kinoshita gasped.
"i guess it was actually important!"
"you're telling me! how long have you been thinking about this?! wait... was this the big controversial topic that you and noya fought about?"
noya and i replied in unison, "yes."
"well damn, guess we gotta start brainstorming now."
i furrowed my eyebrows.
"brainstorming what?"
"official first date ideas!" kinoshita replied, as if it was obvious.
"aw man, i was in the middle of homework as well," complained narita.
"oh. well, it's ok, you can do your homework now, i'm just gonna try to keep processing this all and start thinking of the perfect idea later," i said.
"alright, if you're sure. i'm gonna get back to my homework now, goodnight."
everyone wished everyone else a goodnight, and kinoshita and narita left the call.
i heaved a huge sigh of relief.
"that was scary," i said.
"yeah, it was, and i'm so proud of you! you're so brave!"
i laughed weakly.
"thanks. i think i'm gonna get going now too though."
"okay, goodnight then."
"night, noya."
i left the call and flopped back on my bed. it was still relatively early in the evening, but if i started trying to sleep now, i could get all my overthinking out of the way and actually fall asleep at my normal time.
with this thought in mind, i got ready for bed, and laid back down, closing my eyes and allowing my thoughts to drift whichever way they would go.