Chapter 36:
International Calls
Wake up, go to school, come home, eat and sleep. That's what my life has become.
For most people this sounds normal because this is the basic routine that pretty much every human being follows. However, when I break each one down and put some details with it, it's very easy to see how different this is to the life I was living a few weeks ago.
Wake up. I make my way to school, switching between driving myself and getting the bus. Unfortunately, if I have to get the bus, that involves sitting on my own, talking to no one around me. Sophie sits in our usual seat, her bag covering the space that Was once mine and this time she wasn't moving it.
Go to school. This meant walking the packed hallways alone. Everyday, I watch group after group of friends walking together laughing, gossiping, smothering each other in joy. I was lucky in the sense that Zac would join me, wrapping me in the bubble wrap that is his arms, so that he can protect me from the misery which consumes my mind. Nevertheless, nothing can ever prepare me for when I watch the group walk by me, the six of them not even stopping to recognise me, as if I don't exist to them ever more. Especially when Amelia walks alongside them.
Come home. The bittersweet part of my day, being surrounded by my family brings waves of relief that crash down on me. Reminding me that I mean something to someone and that I matter. But that doesn't stop the silence from the lack of phone notifications other than the hype of the school feed. The vibrating of messages in the group chat, against every surface I would place my phone on, has been replaced with a deadly quietness. That's not to say that I don't receive individual messages from the likes of Sophie, Zara or Steven but unfortunately as Amelia joined the group chat, I was consequently removed.
It's hard to imagine losing everything that has previously made you the person you were in such a short space of time. Especially when it plays on the line of being fantasy or reality. For now, my inner circle has disappeared, everything that has made me Lola Haywell has gone. Deep down I know they all stand by me, creating a plot that will eventually lead back to the way everything was before but right now, this is rock bottom.
This has been my life for the past week and it's the loneliest I've ever been.
"You okay sweetheart?" Zac asks, breaking me from trance like state.
I turn back to face him, realising that I've been staring at the group sitting at the table. Zac and I sat in the far right corner of the cafeteria, keeping ourselves to ourselves. It didn't stop the following eyes, filled with confusion, as they watched us distance ourselves from the group. Yet it was nothing compared to the confusion when Amelia first sat with them on Monday.
She brought some of her clones to the table with her but they sat on the outsides of the table, clearly not worthy enough of sitting close to her yet. Chloe is amongst some of the new members at the table. Some days she looks fully involved in conversation, other days she stares into the distance, her short black hair covering her face, occasionally looking over at me; guilt ridden.
"Yeah." I smile weakly back at him, paying more attention to my food.
"Lola, I promise you that it'll be fine. One day we'll be sitting back over there." Zac says softly, placing his warm hand over mine.
"I hope so." I reply, my eyes scanning back over the table, praying that Zac will be right.
The first day of phase one of the plan was explosive. To make sure it looked convincing that the group had cut ties with me, they made anonymous, hurtful posts about me on the school feed. Everyone made sure that they ran their posts by me first, to make sure it didn't upset me too much. Regardless of whether it did or not, I had to agree, for the plan's sake.
The school hummed with whispers, amazed that I'd been kicked out of the group. Amelia took it as her biggest victory yet and it wasn't long before she was caught talking to people in the group, worming her way back in and eventually sitting in the middle seat of the table in the cafeteria; treating it like her throne.
Zac has been constantly questioned. Many people are confused because the group still speaks to him, especially Blake and Kieran due to football but he refuses to comment in the same way he refused to join the others in this plan. He remains neutral, trying to please both the group and me. He keeps in high spirits, for my sake but I can tell that this has some effect over him. Zac Enderly has always been popular so this is quite the culture shock for him.
Despite all of this, the school remains 50:50. There's been a few minor incidents which has led to people questioning the realness of everything.
The first was on the day after the meeting at Sophie's. Steven slipped up by speaking to me between lessons, walking with me in the hallway. It created confusion as to which side Steven was on and we all knew that he was the key to making people believe it. He's my closest friend in the group and if he turns against me then it was certain that people would believe the plan, including Amelia.
Sophie has messed up numerous times, either by flashing me her famous grin or complimenting me. We all hope that people think it's just in Sophie's nature, she's known for being kind to everyone, a trait of hers which she holds highly to ensure that she never morphs into Amelia. Once again though, she needed to make sure that she looked like she had cut me out, we knew that Amelia would make Sophie her 'best friend' again.
Luckily for Zara, as she's somewhat an outsider in the group and was never involved before Amelia was kicked out, she can get away with occasionally speaking to me. I'm always grateful for our short conversations, Zara's kindness also motivates me to keep my head high, anxiously waiting for the day when this will all be over.
However, the main reason that people questioned the sincerity of me being removed from the group was ultimately down to George and Sophie. No matter how hard they tried, their discomfort of having to be around Amelia and more importantly pretend to like her, endure her conversations and laugh at her jokes, was evident to every student in the cafeteria.
George had to be careful not to snap at Amelia's sarcastic comments whilst Sophie had to pretend to be best friends with her again, meaning also becoming her personal assistant.
Everything has been shaken up at Oakmore. It's messed with the popularity chain which had been enforced at the start of every year by the group. Amelia brought a dark cloud with her, casting it over the whole school and each of us are praying that we won't be in the way when her lightning strikes.
***
Streaks of the burnt orange sky kiss the fields which roll beyond my bedroom window. Autumn leaves littered the grounds as they shone in the late evening sky. Sunsets are always better in the latter half of the year, there is no doubt about it.
My fingers toy with the corners of the folded envelope. Amelia's letter had remained at the very bottom of my bag whilst also remaining at the forefront of my mind since the meeting with Principal Clark.
I've been avoiding reading it. I don't want her useless and meaningless apology to cross my mind yet there's a part of me that can't bring myself to get rid of it.
Perhaps I should've tossed it in the fire at Sophie's, watching it crumple up and incinerate in the wildness of the flames.
Something felt different about today. The plan has struck a different cord inside of me and tugged on my heartstrings. My heart felt heavy as well as my eyes and I want nothing more than to sleep these days away.
I'm heading in a bad direction. My anxiety and irrational thoughts are spiralling out of control. Earlier today I was convinced that someone was following me home. I tried to tell the group but they reassured me that it's just the paranoia that has been infecting me since Amelia gained control over the tannoy.
At the moment, I can't have a voice in this, all I can do to help is play along. I need something, anything to make it feel like I have some kind of control over this whole situation. I'm hoping that somewhere in this letter, I can find a loophole or a weakness which can help the group bring Amelia down in phase two of the plan.
Without waiting any longer, I furiously tear open the envelope, unveiling the letter inside of it.
'Lola,' It starts.
'I'm going to keep this letter short and sweet. I've been forced to write this, trust me, I have no intentions of apologising to you, therefore I'll cut the crap and tell you now that you won't be getting one. You should've known better than to test me, pushing me to the limit when you were completely unaware of just how much dirt I had on you. I knew everything and I told you that I would find out. It was easy to find information on you, no matter how much you tried to hide it.'
I pause for a moment, trying to maintain my calmness whilst reading it. Even from these first few sentences, my blood was beginning to boil.
'And now you've lost everything, that perfect life of yours- gone. I'm also writing this to warn you to not even think about attempting to get me back. I reassure you now that you will fail and only make this worse for yourself. If you have even considered my election party as your only hope of getting your revenge then I'm sorry to inform you that I have taken every measure possible to prevent you from doing so. Not only will you be asked for your name and ID on the door but you'll also be searched for any substances which could get me in the same kind of trouble as last time.'
And just like that, Amelia has soiled the plan without even knowing it exists. She was clever, too clever. She saw any potential threat from a mile away. We should've known better than basing our whole plan on that party.
Throwing the letter to the side of the bed, I fall back, letting out a frustrated sigh. I'm going to have the dreaded job of telling the group that the plan's ruined, maybe they'll have another plan for the party but for now we can only hope that she's fallen for phase one or this whole idea will fail completely.
From the corner of my eye, the back of the letter catches me off guard. I pick it up again, reading it carefully this time.
'P.S. You can thank your friends back in England for the photos and detailed information. It seems like you aren't very liked over there. According to Emily, the only friend you have left is Max and that's more than likely due to the gigantic crush he had on you. Lol, how sad. Hugs and kisses, Amelia xoxo'
The words stand out making the rest on the paper incomprehensible.
I actually have a friend left in England.
The one friend who said he'd always have my back.
Max.
***
Buzzing rings in my ear. It's a different buzz from the one I'm used to and it's one that I've never heard since moving here. It's the buzz you get when you make international calls.
As I wait, staring intensely out of my window, my leg shakes with nerves. I'm not sure if he has my number anymore, maybe he deleted it alongside the memories he shared with me.
Just as I'm about to lose hope and accept that it's too good to be true, there's a muffled sound on the other end of the line.
"Lola?" Max's voice is coated in shock.
"Hey, it's been a while." I laugh nervously, taking in the stunned silence from his side.
"Maybe this was a bad idea." I ramble, the prolonged stillness unnerving me.
"No no! Sorry, I just never expected to see your name on my phone again." His voice turns soft, finally accepting the situation.
Max's voice is warm, the way I've always remembered it. I can picture him perfectly. He'll be sitting in the doorway at the front of his house, balancing his phone between his ear and his shoulder as he rolls himself a new cigarette. He'll be looking out over the tall buildings that surround our estates, we always called it the beauty of London.
If I'm lucky, I'll hear the sound of his mum shouting at him for letting the cold air in or the familiar sound of a London bus roaring past his house. For now the unfamiliar accent was enough to give me a sweet yet sour taste of home.
A part of me wishes I could be sat beside him, sharing it with him, allowing it to relieve me of my stress. I'd laugh as I watch him twiddle it between his fingers, the same way he would twiddle his drumsticks before giving it up. Sometimes we'd play music together, it was the secret hobby which bonded up and also made him fall for me.
And for the first time, a part of me misses it.
"How are you? How's America?" He asks questions he's been sitting on for the last eight months whilst he's been kept in the dark.
"It's been great. I've found my feet, that's for sure." I answer, reminiscing over the summer.
"Have you got nice friends? Is everyone treating you well?"
"I've got amazing friends. I reckon you'd love them Max, especially Zac, he's my boyfriend, you two share the same chill but caring vibe." I chuckle.
He falls into an awkward silence.
"I'm happy for you Lola." His voice is quiet.
"I miss you, you know that?" He quickly says, leaving me without a response.
"I miss you too." I reply, fiddling with the petals from the flowers in my vase.
"I've been worried too. It's like I woke up one day and you were gone. You'd left nothing behind, all of your socials were gone. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've considered calling you or texting but I never knew what to say. I wanted you to enjoy your new life and start again, and I knew that meant without me." Max says, finally giving me a glimpse into the old Max that I used to know, the Max that cared about me so deeply.
"I'm sorry. There was no other way. I needed to get away, you knew that. Staying behind would've killed me."
"Look, you don't need to apologise. You did what was right for you and by the sound of it, it was the best thing you could've done."
"God, when did you become so soft?" I tease him in an attempt to add some laughter to our conversation.
"What do you mean, I was always soft. I'm the ladies man, remember?" He laughs with a jokey voice.
"How are the others?" I dare to ask.
"Ha, as if I'd know." He says and I hear him blow the smoke between his lips.
"What do you mean?" I ask, confused.
"We all went our separate ways after Jack died. There was no way our group could recover from that. From what I've seen Lauren is still her typical self, rebelling and partying. As for Emily, I have no idea." He takes another puff.
"Wait what? You haven't spoken to Em?" I ask, going back to my old ways of using her nickname.
"Earth to Lola, I'm the only one who took your side which meant I was just as dead to Emily as both you and Jack were. People have told me that she's the polar opposite of who she used to be, apparently she's very reserved and bitter."
"So you don't know what she did to me?" I blurt out without hesitating to think what to say.
"What do you mean?" Max asks, the sound of his foot stamping out his cigarette muffles his voice.
"There's a girl here who doesn't like me very much. She went after the truth of my past and somehow got in contact with Emily. Emily told her everything about Jack and sent all the pictures she had of our group. She helped this girl expose me." I don't hold back in telling him the truth, in as short a version as possible.
"Holy shi-" He starts to say.
"Trust me, I know. Life's pretty tough at the moment. I'm practically the most hated girl at school, it's like reliving this time last year." I draw my knees into my chest.
"Oh Lola, I'm so sorry. I'd love to catch up more but I've got to head off in a minute. I know some people who could help get some revenge on Emily, it's awful what she did to you. If you give me your word, I'll sort it and trust me, she won't bother you again." Max's protectiveness shines through his voice.
"Max, no. Last time I tried to get revenge on someone it created one hell of a mess."
"Fine. But please Lola, take care of yourself. You're tough, you can sort this out. You've always been stubborn and got what you wanted." He laughs.
"Okay, anyway, it's been nice to speak to you. I'll probably call again soon, it's nice to know that I have someone left from back home and I'm sure there's plenty more to catch up on."
"Indeed. I've missed hearing your voice and dorky laugh." He teases.
"How many times? I do not have a dorky laugh. Stop winding me up or I'll start calling you Maximus." I complain.
"Fine, I'll try to limit myself. I'll speak to you soon, you have my number if you need it, okay?" He says.
"Will do."
I take the phone from my ear, ready to hang up but Max quickly starts to speak again.
"Lola!"
"Yeah."
"Please stop beating yourself up over what happened. It's not your fault, remember that." He says, sensing my emotions after the entire conversation.
"Thanks Max. Speak soon." I hang up, continuing to gaze out towards the mountains.
My phone buzzes in my hand, indicating that I have a new message.
Hoping it's from someone in the group, I quickly grab my phone from my lap to check. My face falls as I see it's from Zac and I can't help but feel bad that seeing his name above a notification doesn't bring me joy like it should.
I open his text and my happiness is quick to jump back up again.
Typical Zac, always knowing how to cheer me up.
My eyes scan over the message, taking it in again.
'Meet me at the park, I have a surprise for you.'