The morning of their departure for Hogwarts was the usual slightly mad rush to get cases packed and items stored away and figure out where in the hell James's jumper had ended up. The answer to that last issue, it turned out, was in Sirius's suitcase, which sparked a slew of bickering that pervaded the house for the rest of the morning.
The whole chaotic process was thrown into rather stark relief by the presence of Lavinia, who walked down the stairs early, her face and neck healed, her case completely packed and her jacket folded neatly over one arm. She then proceeded to spend the entire rest of the morning perched on the armrest of the couch, watching the rest of them with her head cocked, as though the whole thing was some particularly fascinating exhibit at the zoo.
Not too much later, Remus joined her in the living room and stood next to her, watching carefully.
"You know, I always thought I was the weird one," he commented thoughtfully as James ran back upstairs for the fourth time in the last twenty minutes, shouting that he'd forgotten to pack socks.
Lavinia hummed contemplatively. "Why didn't they pack last night?" she asked, knowing it was probably a stupid question.
Remus shrugged. "Because they're James and Sirius," he said simply. "They don't plan ahead."
Lavinia shiffed and nodded vaguely, watching as Sirius searched through his case for his Transfiguration homework before realizing he hadn't actually done it yet and swearing vehemently. This outburst caused Mrs. Potter, who hadn't even bothered to put shoes on yet, apparently anticipating her sons' lack of preparation, to stick her head out of the kitchen and tell Sirius off for having a foul mouth. Apologizing quickly, he now began searching for his Transfiguration textbook.
"How long will this take me?" he asked the room in general as he began flipping frantically through pages.
Remus shrugged helplessly. "I didn't time it," he defended himself.
"It took me just over two and a quarter hours," Lavinia offered, trying to be helpful.
"Why would you time it?" Remus asked, frowning at her like she'd done something crazy.
It was Lavinia's turn to shrug. "I always time them. If I can get the homeworks done in less than half the time of the NEWT exam, then I figure I'm okay for timings." She frowned. "Not that mocks went very well," she added rather dejectedly.
"Mocks aren't supposed to go well," Remus snorted.
"She's weird, Rem, what's new," Sirius chimed in, sticking a scrap piece of parchment in the appropriate page and closing the book. "I can make that happen on the train. Thank Merlin McGonagall likes me." He pulled an emphatic face and started trying to shove the textbook in amongst a bunch of unfolded clothes.
Lavinia watched for a moment, mildly entertained by his struggles, before she pulled her wand out of her pocket and flicked it at his luggage. His belongings flew out then rearranged themselves and landed neatly in the case.
Sirius looked between her and his now organized luggage. "Showoff," he muttered, smiling teasingly at her.
She smirked at him and shrugged innocently, before turning away as James came barreling down the steps, a pile of socks in his hands, dropped them in his open suitcase and, before anyone could offer to help, closed the lid, sat on it, and forced the latches down.
"Well that's one way to do it," Remus commented, smiling slightly. James gave him a blank look, apparently not realizing Lavinia was standing, wand in hand and mouth halfway open to offer help.
"Is everyone almost ready?" asked Mrs. Potter, coming out of the kitchen with four little bags of snacks. There was a general murmur of agreement as she began passing out the food.
"Thank you Mrs. Potter. For everything," Lavinia said as she accepted the little packet of goodies. She meant it too. She couldn't begin to explain the depth of her gratitude to the women, not just for letting her stay, but also for showing her all the motherly tenderness she'd nearly forgotten existed.
"It was nothing, dear, nothing at all," Mrs. Potter replied, waving her away with an impatient hand. "I had someone to cook with, which was lovely. You really must come back and visit sometime, you know."
Lavinia smiled at her and nodded, thinking privately that she would very much like that. She was going to miss Mrs. Potter. Strange though it had been to be exposed to someone so drastically different from her own mother, it had been nice. She'd spent much of the time listening to Mrs. Potter prattle on, telling stories of James and Sirius in their younger years, all of which she'd intended to tease them about later. But to her slight surprise, she'd found most of the stories rather endearing and had filed away to remind herself of what a normal mother was like and all the silly little moments and mistakes Mrs. Potter cherished simply because they'd been made by her sons.
"I should get going," Lavinia said now, glancing at her watch.
"Don't be silly, dear, we're coming with you all to the platform," Mrs. Potter insisted. "I just have to go get Fleamont. No doubt he's lost track of the time." She bustled away before Lavinia could protest and the younger girl sighed, trying to find the best way out of this. She didn't want to seem ungrateful and she certainly didn't want to insult the Potters. But at the end of the day, she couldn't be seen showing up to the platform with them. Not when her parents had been pretending she was sick. Not when she could save herself at least a few months of pain.
She looked at Sirius, who was watching her with a rather resigned expression on his face. He shook his head, obviously exasperated, though there was an understanding in his eyes for which she was deeply grateful. "Go on," he said, his tone rather short. "I'll make your excuses."
James frowned at his best friend and Remus sighed, evidently realizing what Sirius meant.
"I'm sorry," Lavinia whispered, wincing guiltily.
Sirius shook his head again. "I get it," he replied, his voice now gentler. "I really do. You have to live with those people until the end of the school year. You don't want to rock the boat."
Lavinia grimaced slightly again and sighed. "Thank you all for everything," she said, looking between each of them. "Really."
"Don't be a stranger," James instructed, then, without warning, he stepped forward and hugged her. She went stiff for a moment before she seemed to melt and return the hug. She never would have thought she'd see the day when James Potter's arms felt like a safe place to be.
"Don't be too friendly," she countered, pulling away from him with a joking smile.
"Aw, c'mon, sunshine," he protested dramatically. "You know I just can't contain myself."
Lavinia snorted and rolled her eyes at him before turning to Remus, who hugged her briefly as well. "Hang in there," she reminded him.
"You too," he replied, raising his eyebrows emphatically
When she turned at last to Sirius, the look on his face was one she couldn't at all decipher. It was simultaneously soft and tense and she wasn't at all sure what to make of it. But she moved forward and wrapped him in a hug. "Thank you," she whispered, quietly enough that she wasn't actually sure he could hear. She hoped he could. And she hoped he knew it wasn't just for the first night, or the last, but for all the little moments in between where he'd been silently supportive, reminding her that she was safe now and that her fear, though normal considering the situation, would fade. And for a million other things really, none of which she trusted herself to put into words.
"Anytime," he replied. "But again, let's not make a habit of it."
She pulled away, smiling sadly at the memory of the first time he'd spoke those words to her. Then, rallying herself, she picked up her case. "See you soon," she said, raising her free hand slightly before she opened the door and left, disapparating once she reached the other side of the garden fence.
She reappeared in a deserted alleyway a few blocks from Kings Cross Station and hurried along, making her way to the platform and checking her watch every few minutes. She had hoped to leave earlier than she'd managed, but this would have to do. She just hoped her parents weren't escorting William to the train. Or that if they were, she would be able to avoid them. She didn't know what they would do if they saw her. Or what she would do if she saw them. She suspected it would be something stupid, on her end at least.
As it was, she didn't see anyone she knew on the platform and ended up walking down the length of the train without seeing any of her friends either. So she claimed a compartment, put her luggage up and settled down with her Charms book in hand, hoping to get a headstart on the reading for the next week. And definitely not trying to give herself an excuse to hide her face if need be.
Over the course of the next twenty or so minutes, her friends began trickling in. First Alexandra, who greeted her briefly and took the seat opposite, opening a book as well and otherwise ignoring her, which, Lavinia forced herself to remember, was normal. Then Thomas and Eloise came in, hand in hand, and smiling with the awkward happiness of a new couple.
Lavinia smiled down at her book as they showed up, genuinely happy for them but utterly unable to resist the urge to tease them for it.
"When did this happen?" she asked, somewhat cheekily as Thomas put both of their cases up.
Eloise blushed profusely, taking the seat next to Alexandra. "Just after New Years. He came to one of my family's parties and it just kind of... happened," she explained, still smiling like she couldn't help it.
"Called it," Alexandra asserted smugly without looking up from her book.
Lavinia snorted and went back to her reading. Regulus came next, and sat down next to her, making a point to say he was glad she was feeling better after her bout of sickness after the holidays. She hoped the smile she sent him conveyed enough gratitude that he would understand all the thank yous she knew she owed him. A brief touch of his hand on her knee told her he caught her deeper meaning and she was happy enough for that fact that she ignored the cheekily quirked eyebrow Eloise raised at her.
Severus was the last to come and he sloped into the compartment and closed the door, flopping down onto the open seat next to Regulus.
"What's the matter?" asked Eloise, frowning at her friend and apparently forgetting her goal of teasing Lavinia.
"Potter and his band of idiots, that's what," he muttered resentfully and Lavinia felt herself go slightly tense at the mention of his name. Again, she felt Regulus touch her lightly, a warning this time. Not that she needed one, but it was still good to remember at least one person in this compartment knew even a fraction of what her break had been like. "Parading around like they own the place," Severus added spitefully.
"Don't tell me they jinxed you?" she asked, making a mental note to give James a proper talking to if he had. Just because she owed him and just because he was her friend now didn't mean she was going to give him a free pass to jinx the people she'd cared for years longer than she'd considered him anything other than a nuisance.
"No they're just being generally annoying," Severus clarified, frowning at her slightly. "But what does it matter if they used magic?" he asked, his lip curling in disgust at the mere thought of what must easily be his least favorite people. "It's Potter and Black. They're gits regardless."
Lavinia blinked momentarily before pulling herself together, suppressing the urge to defend Sirius and James, and agreeing, even as her head drifted off, remembering a time when she would have had no hesitation about condemning those two boys. But now... She looked out the window as the train began pulling out of the station. Well, now she felt the urge to tell Severus off for being rather close minded. Not that she'd forgotten all the many reasons why Severus had every right to hate Potter and Black. But then... Lavinia once did too. And now she had every reason to want to fight anyone who would baselessly hate them.
She sighed and turned back to her book, her eyes skimming over the words without taking in any of them. This was all far too confusing. And it didn't help that though she enjoyed being surrounded by familiar faces and friends who were joking and laughing, there was a part of her that wished, foolishly, she was sure, that a certain four boys were also here.
Of course, she thought resignedly, that would require an entirely different timeline in which James and Severus didn't hate each other and all her friends wouldn't take the first opportunity to curse the other group. But she couldn't stop herself from wishing it was true. Because in another timeline... well. They might all have gotten along rather well. And she might not have to live with two halves of her life separated by the time of day. She wondered if that was what it would take to make her feel whole inside. If so, she was going to have to learn to live with this awful hollow feeling in her soul. Which, she supposed, shouldn't be too hard. It was familiar enough as it was. What was a lifetime more of it.
She snorted at that thought. A lifetime was a lifetime. And she suspected she was going to spend much of the rest of it searching because familiar or not, hollow just wouldn't do.
A/N: I'm losing it in quarantine guys. I mean, I love my parents. I really really do and I know I'm lucky to be able to move back in with them. But sweet mother of mercy do I miss living on my own. Their most recent thing is that I don't get enough sunlight. Is it true? Yes. Is it their business? Not really. Do I need to be reminded of it every two hours while I'm trying to write or read or do some other vaguely unproductive thing? No. They keep telling me to write outside to solve the problem. Which is not compatible with our wifi. Or my computer's complete inability to get to a brightness acceptable in any light brighter than indoor LEDs (and honestly, that's pushing it). My favorite part is that they're acting like this a new problem and that I'm letting quarantine get to me and 'affect my health'. Like, son, first of all, my mental health is already all over the place because of quarantine. We know this. And second, where have you been all my life? I'm a basement gnome whose contact info in her high school friend's phone is literally 'Vampire Bitch'. Need I go on?
Anyway, I'm fucking off to our mountain house for several days because I need some space. And also it's supposed to be really hot here this weekend and as we've covered, I don't do sunshine. Actually, I just don't do temperatures above like 75F, but ya know. Now, other than an excuse to rant, I'm telling your guys this because starting Saturday, I'm going to be up in the mountains and we're not entirely sure if our wifi up there works. So I don't know if I'll be able to update. If it doesn't work, maybe we can fix it? But maybe not, in which case, I'll be coming back on Wednesday and should be able to update that night.
Basically, TLDR: Mountain wifi is questionable and after tomorrow's update, I may go radio silence for a few days. So... sorry about that if it happens and here's your heads up.
As always, I hope you enjoyed and stay safe (and sane)!