14th February 2017
-S H R E E P R A S A D-
Madhav has been glued to the phone very recently. It's been so annoying and irritating, especially when we went out on that Valentine's Day dinner.
It was our first valentine's day after our wedding, and we were at a very romantic restaurant. I wore a chiffon sari of his favourite colour: green, because I thought it'd make him happy, but he rarely noticed. I was hoping to have a romantic chat with him during dinner, but I couldn't, because he rarely took his eyes off the phone. He had the spoon on one hand and his phone on the other. He chuckled and smiled as he ate. Forgetting that I existed.
I tried so much to get his attention. I tied and untied my hair several times, I cleared my throat so many times, the only people ones who looked were the couple beside us. I even brushed my leg against his. I thought he'd amend things when we returned home, but that's where he crossed the line. It was around midnight when we came home.
The only time he had the phone away was when he was driving to the restaurant and back home.
As soon as we go to our room the person who he'd been texting throughout dinner, Tia Shetty, calls him. He heads out to the balcony to take the call and promised to return soon.
I was so naïve for actually believing that he'd return soon. I had a quick shower and sat on our bed, wearing a satin robe. Underneath the satin robe was a beautiful negligee made of translucent black net with a deep crisscross plunge. I sat there like a pretty princess, my eyes glued to the half open balcony door, waiting to see him come back in.
He doesn't return until around 3 AM and I could hear him laugh. I softly walk towards the balcony door to hear him.
"Nah I'm not going to work tomorrow; a friend is getting married and I promised to be there. I'll drop by at your apartment in the evening if I can."
He stops and listens closely, with a playful smile on his face. I lean in closer, pressing my ear to the door to the balcony. "Okay okay Tia, I can't picture us on a wicker swing, it sounds too cheesy. Don't you think we should spend more time by the fireplace on a cold night, lying on a furry carpet holding onto each other? You know what, that is something I can picture the two of us doing. You know what else is better-" He stops for a minute and hears Tia speak.
"Damn, that's so romantic and hot." He adds saucily. "Indeed, you are a naughty little vixen. You know what, we should talk about this in the evening. Darling go sleep, you need a lot of energy when we meet tomorrow. I'm fixated on wearing you down tomorrow."
I lay in the bed, string at the ceiling. I try to connect all the dots: the frequent phone calls and messages; him returning home towards midnight; the lies and the whiff of the flowery scent on him. All these dots translated into one unbelievable illustration on my head.
I close my eyes and try to push that thought out of my mind.
* * * * *
15th February 2017
The next day was Ahaana and Ashok's wedding day. Madhav was wearing the traditional veshti and shirt, whereas I wore a pink chiffon sari with a gold border.
The wedding happened in one of Mumbai's biggest mandhir. It was an elegant and a magical ceremony.
Ahaana looked very much like a Marathi princess dressed in that red nauvari with a gold-green border. Her jewelry was simple except the pearl nose ring. She had her best smile on that face which radiated with a golden aura. She looked better than Priyanka Chopra from Bajirao Mastani. Ashok was magnificently royal. He was wearing a cream coloured kurta with an off-white dhoti. Together, they made a very charming couple.
My best friend is married. It was only like yesterday that we were dreaming of our dream weddings as teenagers. And today, both of us are married women. Many years ago, we were talking about our futures and now hers is beginning.
I was excited but somehow, I wasn't feeling well. Madhav, miraculously, noticed how I tired and unwell I looked.
"We should take you home." He said as I sat on mandhir steps.
"No-no it's okay, Madhav. I'm-"
"No. We're leaving now." He says and makes me stand.
It was a quick drive from the mandhir to our apartment. I go to our bedroom and lie down on the bed. Indian weddings can be tiring, especially when it's a warm sunny day and when you have to wear a sari along with all that jewelry.
I sit up on the bed and notice Madhav change into a dark blue shirt and a pair of jeans.
"Where are you going?" I ask.
"I have a meeting with Mr. Sabyasachi." He says brushing his hair and spraying a bit of cologne on him.
"Will you be coming for dinner?" I ask getting off the bed and walking to him.
"I'll be coming around midnight. So, don't get worried if I get late." He says rolling up the sleeves of his shirt as he contemplates his reflection on the mirror.
"Is that code for cheating on me with another woman?" I ask him audaciously.
"What-" He exclaims.
"Exactly, you can't even fucking explain yourself! I trusted you so blindly, dammit!"
"What are you t-talking about? I'm not..."
"YOU ARE CHEATING ON ME WITH THAT TIA SHETTY!" I yell with all my strength. "I've been noticing you for long. Your messages, late night calls and those long hours of 'working with the Sabyasachi delegates' make it all so evident. I heard your mushy flirty conversation last night, if that doesn't imply something explicit then I don't know what else will! You are definitely sleeping with her!"
I felt like I won after exposing his little secret, I didn't stammer with his intimidating figure dominating the room. Although, his face had not even an ounce of guilt. He was angry.
"How dare you say that Shree Ramakrishna!" He sneers as he walks towards me. I feel a knot settle in my stomach and I move away until he holds my hand in a vice like grip. "How dare you accuse me of cheating on you?"
"Tia is my friend Natasha's wife. She's a lesbian! How can she ever be attracted to me? How can I ever be attracted to another woman who's not you?"
That's when I said the four words that ruined me. "I don't trust you."
He pulls me towards the bed and makes me sit. He opens the cupboards and pulls a few documents.
"Do you know what these are?" He asks and I take a look at the documents, most of them were documents for building a house and title deeds to a 20-acre land along with many other signed documents. I shake my head.
"Do you remember, on the night we got engaged, we had a conversation. You said you wanted to go to Kerala and have a beautiful house, in the middle of a beautiful garden and I promised to-"
"You actually brought a house in Kerala?" I ask looking at him.
"No, just the land. I wanted a beautiful house built for you. I looked around the town for an architect. That was when Natasha Robbins, my friend in the USA recommended her wife, Tia Shetty-Robbins. She came to Mumbai to help me design the house and to get all the permits, legal formalities done. I have been discussing and designing ever wall, every pillar, every tile and corner of that house, day and night."
He looks at me and I look at the documents in my hand. His phone rings.
"Maybe this should convince you." He says and answers the call, putting it on speaker mode.
"Hey Maddy!" I hear a very energetic and effervescent voice from the other end. "I got the confirmation for the power supply and I saw a couple of stained glasses to be fixed in the bathroom. We still need to find proper bathroom fixtures though. I'll check with a friend in Germany; also, urgh you were right! I can't picture you and Shree on a wicker swing, but on those traditional Indian wooden swings, yes indeed. I'm going to put that somewhere in the hall, or do you want it on the bedroom?"
"Bedroom would be amazing, Tia." Madhav adds and looks at me sternly. "I can certainly picture 'us'- as in Shree and I, together on it."
"Yes. Screw that daybed in the living room. I regret pitching that to you last night. This swing is apt for the two of you. I can already imagine you and Shree-"
"Tia-Tia-is there another couple you can imagine on that swing besides us?" Madhav asks. "For instance, yourself and Natasha?"
"Oh yes! I miss her. I miss her so much and how she whispers 'Good morning my naughty little vixen' every morning. I'm stuck here because of you! Listen I better be paid handsomely for this. I ain't boarding that plane without that cheque and of course without seeing that satisfied smile on your face and that of your wife's. Damn she's so beautiful."
"Thanks for that compliment." He says gladly.
She chuckles from the other end.
"Also, come back soon, I have to discuss a few arrangements for the house and make a few amendments to the blueprint. I hope you have a clear picture of the house, because I can't change the blueprint so many times. Have you left? I can't proceed without hearing your opinions."
"Actually, I have to stay back because I feel-"
Tia's voice becomes serious.
"I'm sorry, but I told you in the first place itself that I need to finish off the design ASAP! I can't be away from Natasha any much longer. She's entering the third trimester of her pregnancy in a couple of weeks and I don't want her to be alone. You agreed to discuss this 24x7 so it can be done and dusted soon!"
"Alright, alright. I'll be there in a few minutes." Madhav says and disconnects the call.
In my mind I replay all the things Madhav said in the call last night and try to figure out what was being said by Tia. Suddenly all what seemed to give the impression of a flirtatious conversation was actually a discussion about swings, daybeds, and Tia's partner. He didn't mean himself and Tia whenever he said 'us', it was me and himself!
He takes the documents from my hand and keeps it in the cupboard. He closes it and walks out.
"Madhav, wait!" I exclaim and run towards him. I wrap my arms around his body and hold him in a tight embrace. "I'm sorry, I said that. I shouldn't have-"
He breaks away from me and turns to look at me. "You shouldn't have said you didn't trust me. I trust in you so much and it's sad you don't even have a drop of it for me. I trust you so much. People I know are asking me if I'm mad enough to confidently send you to London, fully aware that there would be handsome men who are not as old as I am. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I TOLD THEM?"
He looks at me, and his anger fades. There's tears welling in his eyes. "I said I trust you. It's sad you don't trust me the way I trust you."
He reeled backwards, pain stabbing through his face. "Also, I would never accuse anyone without having solid proof, especially you!" He sounds so wounded. What have I done?
Guilt bites at my heart, and I was fighting the urge to let out a strangled sob. I hold his arm.
"I'm sorry. I-I-I-"
"I'm hurt, chellam."
"I didn't mean to do-" I try to say but he walks away. "Madhav, please!"
To be continued....
Glossary
Chellam- Dear
Mandhir- Hindu temple
Nauvari- Nauvari saree is from Maharashtra in India, its a traditional saree which actually is known for it's Long Length of 9 yards. A normal saree is of 5.5 meters or 6 meters while a Nauvari saree is more than 8 meters. Draping of this sari is very similar to the way the Maharashtrian dhoti is worn except nauvari sarees being tucked at the back.
Kurta- A kurta is a loose collarless shirt worn in many regions of South Asi
Dhoti/Veshti- It is a lower garment forming part of the national or ethnic costume for men in the Indian subcontinent.