.nishinoya.
wednesday morning had come, and so far, it was awful.
at morning practice, tanaka and i avoided each other like the plague, and the others definitely noticed.
"nishinoya-senpai, did you and tanaka-senpai fight?" shōyō asked.
i glanced around uncomfortably for a minute and then shrugged.
"maybe, kind of... a little bit? it's weird right now, i don't know."
he nodded, with wide eyes.
"i hope you guys can make up soon!"
"yeah, me too."
with that, he seemed to be satisfied, and turned to run off towards kageyama to ask for a toss.
i breathed out heavily and slumped my head.
"are you alright?"
i nearly jumped out of my skin.
"jesus!" i turned to see asahi. "oh, it's you. well, close enough."
"what?"
i waved my hand.
"nothing. ugh, people keep asking me that."
"well, you seem a little down. i just wanted to check on you."
"yeah, thanks. before you ask, yes, me and ryū had an argument, but i'm sure it'll all be fine." i glanced over to where ryū was sitting by ennoshita. "at least, i hope so."
"well what exactly happened between the two of you?"
i shifted my weight a bit.
"i don't think i can tell you that."
"was it about me?"
i pursed my lips and tried to look anywhere but him.
i was surprised to hear him laugh.
"figures. it's okay, you don't have to tell me if you think it'd just make me feel bad."
i let out a huff of air.
"i mean, if you really wanna know, i guess you could always ask suga."
"ah, so that's what that was about."
"what?"
"last night i was in a call with..." he cleared his throat. "daichi and suga, and in the middle suga had to hang up because he said he was getting a call from you."
i blushed.
"right, yeah... makes sense that you would've already been in a call with him... urgh, why does everything suck right now?!"
i carded my hands through my hair, and asahi sat next to me.
"yeah, i get that. i kind of argued with daichi, and things are a bit awkward right now... so if you wanna talk about it... i mean, i know you said you wanted to take things slow right now... and also you don't want to tell me what you and tankaka argued about... and also the fact that one of the other things that sucks right now is probably me... hmm, maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea after all."
i couldn't help but laugh a little bit at his genuinely concerned expression.
i shook my head.
"thanks for still caring so much, even though... well... despite everything that's going on right now. and if you wanna talk about anything... you said you argued with daichi?"
he shook his head.
"it's fine. and besides... i don't think i'll ever stop caring," he confessed softly, with a certain longing in his voice that tugged at my heart.
"me either," i said so quietly it was almost a whisper.
we sat side by side silently for a while until practice started.
we didn't avoid each other anymore, but neither of us made any particular attempt to go out of our way to talk to the other either.
but, god, it was awful not talking to ryū and constantly looking away whenever we accidentally made eye contact.
i had just gone through this with asahi at the end of last week, why do i have to do it with ryū now too?!
life is so unfair sometimes.
///
lunchtime rolled around, and i rolled into the designated classroom of the day: where ennoshita, kinoshita, and narita were already sitting next to each other.
"hey, y'all," i sighed, pulling up a chair. i glanced around. "he's not here?"
they exchanged an uncomfortable glance.
"no, he hasn't shown up yet," ennoshita confirmed.
i nodded and started slowly eating my lunch.
i'm sure the others noticed i was uncharacteristically quiet, and i wondered if they knew why. i'm sure they had also noticed that ryū and i had been uncharacteristically avoiding each other, but i hadn't thought to talk to any of them about this problem, and i didn't know if ryū had either.
the thing is, i usually do talk with them about problems- but usually it's minor ones. for big problems, i usually only tell ryū so not as many people know, but unfortunately i cannot talk to ryū about this problem given that it involves him.
i'm not even sure he would want to talk to me right now anyway.
the thought that he could hate me...
i bit my lip, choking back the lump in my throat, and cursing my stinging eyes.
it was just an argument- we can get past it. he wouldn't hate me.
...would he?
i took a sip of water from my water bottle to help calm myself down, and noticed the others staring at me empathetically.
finally, narita cleared his throat.
"are you alright?"
"yeah, it seems like you and tanaka were kind of avoiding each other..." kinoshita added.
"we, uh... just had a little argument, that's all. i'm sure it'll be fine soon enough. i hope."
"it will be," ennoshita reassured.
"you are saying that with an awful lot of confidence... did you talk to ryū?"
he smirked a tiny bit.
"i can neither confirm nor deny the specific goings on of my evening after practice ended last night."
"aha! so you did talk to him! what did he say?! does he hate me forever?!"
i leaned closer to him, and he gently pushed me back into my seat.
"i don't think it's my place to disclose the details of our conversation, but i can tell you that he definitely does not hate you."
"okay, but are you absolutely-"
"nishinoya yuu. you know i love you, but jesus, just take my word for it. calm down a bit and eat your lunch. everything will be fine between you two, i promise."
i was about to complain again, but i heard kinoshita quietly complaining to narita, "why does it feel like we're being left out of something here?"
i turned to them and clapped my hands.
"alright, lemme explain the sitch. basically, i brought up a... i guess sensitive topic? to ryū a couple days ago. and it was just a suggestion for him to think about something, and then i said if he wanted to talk about it, i would give him advice, but then i forgot cuz i'm a shitty friend and i've been to distracted with asahi recently."
they glanced at each other then back at me.
"that does not sound ideal, but-" started narita, but i got distracted by a movement from the classroom door.
i spluttered slightly then turned back to narita.
"shh, he's here, don't let him know we've been talking about him."
he smiled slightly and nodded.
"alright."
ennoshita quickly changed the subject and managed to sound completely natural, and it was almost scary how easy it was for him, but i decided to just go with it and pretend to be listening and understanding what was going on.
"so anyway, i couldn't believe they still hired her! i mean, after what happened in 2017, you would think, since they claim to do thorough background checks, that-"
at that moment tanaka sat down, avoiding looking at any of us (but mostly me).
"hi, ryū, how was your morning?" chikara asked brightly.
i did a slight double take.
since when did chikara call him ryū? usually i was the only one who called him that! (not that i was jealous or anything).
"it was okay," he said quietly. "you can keep telling your story if you want."
"oh, i actually don't remember what i was gonna say now. anyway, y'all won't believe the craziest thing that happened in my dream a couple nights ago, i can't believe i forgot to tell you guys sooner. i was at school, but it also wasn't school, if that makes sense..."
for most of lunch, ennoshita, kinoshita, and narita were mainly keeping up conversation, while ryū and i awkwardly sat in silence and ate.
as soon as ryū was done, and politely sat until a couple minutes before the bell, he rushed out to go back to his classroom.
i sighed.
why couldn't this all be over?
kinoshita patted my shoulder.
"hey, this will all be okay before you know it. i may not have all the details, but if ennoshita says he talked to him and thinks everything will be okay, i'm sure it will be. have a little faith in the guy, yeah?"
i looked at ennoshita who was blushing slightly, and agreed.
soon enough, lunch was over, and it was back to class.
///
afternoon practice was almost over and i couldn't be happier.
it was so awful not talking to ryū, and not talking much in general, and i just wanted to go home.
unfortunately, before the going home could happen, a moment of reckoning happened instead.
shōyō was begging me to teach him rolling thunder again, so i figured i might as well, to distract myself.
unfortunately, since i was trying to show him the exact movements, i was going a bit slower than usual, and my muscle memory didn't quite kick in as much as i would've liked, so my roll was a bit off.
normally, this would not have been a problem.
today, it was.
it just so happened that ryū and chikara were walking across the path of my mislead roll.
"ouch!" ryū exclaimed as i crashed into him.
i quickly jumped to my feet.
"sorry! i was, uh... just trying to show shōyō r-rolling... erm... well, i got a little messed up, and uh..."
"god, i can't take this!" chikara fumed.
we both looked at him in stunned silence.
"you guys are best friends! i don't care if you had a fight, it doesn't matter, okay?! why can't you just apologize and talk about it like civilized human beings instead of suffering with this awkwardness?! you know you don't have to wait a certain amount of time before talking! i know you want to let things cool down, but jesus christ, i can't stand this anymore! this isn't how you guys are, so just talk to each other for crying out loud!"
ryū and i looked at each other sheepishly.
"so..." i started.
"i'm sorry that i yelled at you. we probably shouldn't talk about everything here, but how about when we leave?"
"okay, that sounds good."
i held up my hand for a high-five and was glad when he took the offer.
i was about to walk away again, when i felt a hand on my shoulder and looked over to see daichi.
"so i heard your little outburst," he said to ennoshita.
"i wasn't necessarily being quiet," he agreed.
he chuckled.
"yeah. noya, tanaka, we only have fifteen minutes left and these practices aren't required anyway, so how about i let you go early?"
we looked at each other and shrugged.
"i guess that would be fine," i said.
"yeah, sounds good to me," ryū agreed.
"alright, just don't cause too much trouble out there. see you tomorrow."
"see ya, daichi-san."
"see you tomorrow."
with that, we left the gym side by side, not speaking a word until we had changed and begun walking home.