Chapter 11
Sexy Talks In Front Of The Eating Cyprian???
The thing I hate about having your period is the cravings… When my period is approaching, I always crave for a certain food and I will let myself indulge a single piece until one turns to two, and two turns to three.
The overly self conscious in me fucking hates it. As much as possible, I don’t like intaking any food. Pero hindi pwede, I needed the energy to survive a day especially around Ciel because arguing with that asshole consumes a lot of energy and power.
Partida, wala pa do’n ang pag-ubos niya sa pasensya ko.
“Mona…” A small voice coming from beside me pulled me back to reality. I zipped my bag after putting my small wallet on the pocket of my skirt.
Hinarap ko siya. Iyong ka group ko kanina.
She was looking at me timidly, chewing her bottom lip. “Thank you k-kanina… for standing up for me.” Nahihiya niyang sabi.
Tiningnan ko siya. I somehow saw the old Mona in her. Nahihiya, walang confidence sa sarili, at hinayaan na lang ang mundo na batuhin siya ng mga kung ano-ano.
“Sobrang insecurity ko din kasi ‘tong mga ngipin ko, e. Akala nila hindi ako nag to-toothbrush dahil color yellow daw. G-Gusto ko na ngang gumraduate para pag nagkapera ako sa dentist kaagad ako pupunta. Ang kaso sabi ni mama, hindi na daw siya magiging kasing tibay ng dati kapag pinaputi ko ang mga ngipin ko. Pero at least hindi na ako mabu-bully, ‘di ba? Ano ba naman ‘yan! Ang daldal ko. Sorry.”
I pushed a soft sigh. “Changing something in you is good when you do it for yourself... but it’s worse when you do it just to be accepted by others.”
Trust me, I know. I’ve been there. And I am still here.
“Change is pricey but learning to accept yourself is free… mahirap nga lang. But you know, someone told me before that the most powerful thing in the world is being able to look at your flaws through the mirror and realizing that you are not just an art… you are the whole exhibit.” A genuine soft smile crept on the corner of my lips as I recalled his words.
Even at the back of my mind, I can still remember how his voice sounds as those powerful words came out from his mouth. Ciel Alfieri is a devil with heaven on his tongue.
She smiled at me, sweetly and amused. “Wow.” She whispered, her face lighting up.
I nodded my head, agreeing to her. Yes. Wow, indeed. Wow, Ciel Alfieri.
I gave her name patch a quick glance.
Castro.
I smiled at her once again, looking at her straight in the eyes.
“Castro, I want you to remember one thing… We all have flaws, it’s normal, they are part of our identity, so, never let anyone make you feel bad for having one… Okay?” I said.
Mas lalong lumawak ang mga ngiti niya, showing her perfect strong teeth, making her face glow. And this time she looked motivated and inspired. Binigyan ko siya ng isang tipid na ngisi bago naglakad paalis.
“Where are you going, Mona?” It was Cyprian.
I stopped at the frame of the door, looking at him over my shoulder.
Colton left already, sinundo na siya ng mga pinsan niyang si Phil at Kiel. Ciel on the other hand was still busy talking with the muse of the class. I subtly roll my eyes before fixing my gaze at Cyprian.
“CR lang.” I told him.
Tumango siya. “Hintayin ka na lang namin dito,” he said.
I just smiled at nodded my head before proceeding to the comfort room. Halos magkaharap lang naman ang CR at ang room namin. Ito ang kagandahan kapag nasa unang-una ang classroom niyo o di kaya’y nasa dulo.
Malapit na sa CR, malapit pa sa elevator.
I was about to get inside the girl’s comfort room when I suddenly heard a familiar voice, she was continuously talking, ranting nonstop, and annoyance was very prominent in her voice.
“Really? She did that?”
“Yes, Nika! She did! Ang kapal ng mukha niya para ipahiya ako! Akala mo kung sinong maganda!” Gigil na gigil na sabi ni Gemma.
“Hay nako! H’wag ka ngang nagpapatalo do’n, Gemma! Pumayat lang siya pero siya pa rin ang iyong baboy na Mona! Alam mo, pasalamat nga ‘yan dahil hindi niyo ako kaklase dahil makakatikim talaga siya sa akin.”
I wanted to laugh. Ikaw ang magpasalamat dahil hindi mo ako kaklase, Nika dahil araw-araw kong ipaparanas sa’yo ang impyerno!
“Girl, kapag tayong tatlo ulit ang nagsama-sama sigurado ako hindi na makakasatsat ‘yon.” It was Courtney’s voice. Oh, talaga ba? Baka pagbuhulin ko pa kayong tatlo!
“Nakakairita talaga siya, e. Lalong nadagdagan ang inis ko sa kanya nang sabihin mong kasa-kasama niya ngayon sina Ciel. Ang malanding ‘yon! Inaakit pa yata si Ciel, as if naman papatulan siya!” Mas lalong nanggigil ang boses i Nika ngayon dahil involve na si Ciel.
Gaga pala ‘to, eh. Nilalandi? E halos araw-araw kaming nagpapatayan ni Ciel! We can’t even stand each other’s presence!
My blood boiled instantly as they kept on talking shit about me. I clenched my fist, ready to make my most dramatic entrance with a highlight of ‘Surprise, bitches’ all over my aura.
But it’s as if fate decided to not bet on my side for this day because I suddenly felt a strong arm, wrapping around my waist from behind, making my back crash on his hard and firm chest.
I was a bit caught off guard for a second that I gasped. But when the familiar captivating manly scent starts filling my nostrils, my jaw immediately clenched, snapping my head over my shoulder to give this pesk a glare.
Yes, pesk. Meaning; Ciel Dmitri Alfieri III!
Sino pa ba naman ang peste sa buhay ko kung hindi siya lang?
His intense gaze catched mine. He was eyeing me, intently, firmly shaking his head.
“Bitawan mo ‘ko!” I tried to get away from his hold but his grip tightens around my waist.
Umigting ang kanyang bagang. “No,” He firmly said, his eyes slightly narrowing.
“Mag C-CR ako!” Inis kong pagrarason. Why can’t he just let go?
“You think I will believe you? Makikipag-away ka lang, e. Tingnan mo nga ‘yang hitsura mo. You look like as if you’re ready to murder someone!” Mahina ngunit mariin niyang sabi sa akin.
“I will really murder their sanity, Ciel! Iinisin ko sila hanggang sa mabaliw sila!” My voice was low yet my words are firm.
His jaw sets back and forth, slightly tilting his head up. He subtly rolled his eyes, letting out a soft exhale from his parted lips before trying to drag me from my waist using his arm. I pressed my soles on the floor, trying to stop him from dragging me.
“Ciel, ano ba!” I tried to protest, keeping my voice as low as possible.
Kahit anong palag ko nahahatak niya pa rin talaga ako gamit lang ang isa niyang braso. Damn him!
We stopped at the frame of the comfort’s room entrance. He leaned his face on mine, catching my gaze and all I did was give him a livid glare. His arm is still on my waist and he’s too close!
“You really have your ways of meddling with my life, huh, Ciel Alfieri?! Nakakabwisit ka!” I hissed.
Umigting ang kanyang bagang kasabay nang paniningkit ng kanyang mga mata.
“If you really want to piss them off, h’wag mo na silang puntahan, they’re already pissed at you. At kapag pumunta ka pa do’n at nakipag-away ikaw lang din ang maiinis sa huli, Mona.” Seryoso niyang saad.
Natahimik ako saglit. He’s making a good point but these damn hormones in me are really raging. Parang hindi yata ako matatahimik hangga’t hindi ko nasusupalpal ang Nika na iyon!
“Ano ba’ng gusto mong mangyari? Makipagsabunutan ka sa CR? Mona, that is so elementary! You’re already seventeen! Do not drop your class just to get even with them,” Sermon pa niya sa akin.
“I don’t care! At least I get to piss them more! Bitawan mo na nga ako!” I stubbornly said, trying to get away from his hold.
“Mona Lisa!” I stopped, caught off guard like a scared puppy when he let out a low growl, saying my name with a firm diction of his tongue. His stares were deep and intimidating, stealing all my strength in protesting against his hold.
I swallowed the forming lump in my throat. “S-Saan tayo kakain?” I asked instead, my voice was barely audible with the current intimidation that I am feeling.
Damn! I didn’t know that being called by my full name can make my knees weak… or is it because it was Ciel alone who can do that?
Ew? What the hell am I thinking? Nahawa na yata ng hangin ang utak ko sa Nika na ‘yon!
--
The three of us are now on our way to the APS canteen. Si Cyprian ang nag-aya doon dahil gusto daw niya ng Buffalo wings. And the moment he mentioned that dish, I couldn’t take it off my mind. Parang gusto ko din.
But I told myself last night na hindi ako kakain ng kanin. I would eat something that is not as heavy as those meals.
Pero kaninang break, nag carbonara ako dahil nainggit ako kay Ciel and now I’m about to eat another carbs. Wow.
“Oh, nag-away na naman kayo?” Cyprian grinned, looking back and forth at the both of us. Nasa gitna namin siya ni Ciel while we’re on our way to the APS canteen.
“Magtaka ka kung nagkasundo kami niyan,” Ciel commented. I gave him a quick glance. Diretso lang ang mga naniningkit niyang tingin, ang isang kamay niya ay ginagawa niyang panangga mula sa sikat ng araw na tumatama sa kanyang mukha.
The light coming from the sun slowly exposed how dark and brown his short curly hair was. His hair matches with the color of his eyes. They’re like the color of a coffee bean, so fascinating and satisfying to look at.
I was like a thief caught red handed when his eyes suddenly averted towards my direction. My lips parted and my eyes don’t know if they would look away or stare at him more to hide my embarrassment.
A playful grin drew across those damn lips, showing that alluring dimple again. “Tanginang mga titig naman ‘yan, Mona… Nakakapanghina.”
My eyes narrowed as my cheeks burned in embarrassment. “H-Hindi kita tinitingnan! Feeling mo naman! I was looking at the Chapel!” I defended myself, frowning a little.
Honey, he is the chapel. Sigaw ng isang kabila ng utak ko.
Fuck! I just shrug the thought away. Kulang na yata ako sa dasal.
“Chapel, chapel…” Panunuya pa niya. Hindi ko na lang siya pinansin.
“Mona, sagot!” Cyprian pressed with a sweet, teasing grin on his face. Colton and Cyprian sometimes enjoy watching Ciel and I argue.
Sa tuwing nagsasama-sama kaming apat ay kulang na lang bumili pa sila ng popcorn habang pinapanood kami.
“I don’t like arguing with an idiot anymore…”
“Idiot ka pala, eh. Ano, Ciel, sagot!”
“Putangina mo. Sulsol!” Ciel spats.
Cyprian chuckled. “I live for the arguments of you two. Tangina, para akong laging nanonood ng teleserye.” Nakangisi niyang sabi.
“Talaga? Anong title ng teleserye namin, pre? Ang Babaeng Sakit Sa Aking Ulo?”
My mouth parted in disbelief. “Ang kapal naman talaga! Ako pa daw ang sakit sa ulo niya!”
“Of course… You know, everytime that I am with you, Biogesic ang una ‘kong naiisip… I fucking need that to survive a day with you, Clavel.”
Cyprian chuckled. Of course, gustong-gusto niya ‘to!
My jaw sets back and forth in annoyance. This pesk! He is turning the tables again! Sa akin pa niya nililipat talaga! Ginigigil talaga ako ng lalaking ‘to, e.
“Well, I hope you get overdosed!” I fired back.
“Baka umiyak ka.” Nakapamulsa niyang sagot.
“Try me.” Naniningkit ang mga mata kong sabi. He just made a face, ending our argument.
Saktong pagkatapos naming mag-away ay nakarating kami sa canteen. Ciel unclasped his ID, putting it on the empty table.
Magkasama kami ni Cyprian na pumili, si Ciel ay humiwalay sa amin dahil pipili pa daw siya ng kakainin niya.
Habang nakapila kaming dalawa ni Cyprian ay nagdadalawang isip pa ako kung kakain pa ba ako ng Buffalo wings o h’wag na.
I don’t know why but I always feel guilty everytime I eat. Pakiramdam ko ang laking kasalanan kapag kumain ako ng mga alam kong heavy… I’ve been practicing to get rid of it pero hindi ko kaya. It always beats me everytime.
“Uy, Cyprian…” Isang lalaking ahead sa pila ang nakakilala sa kasama ko. This is not new to me. Sa tuwing kasama ko sila, some people would start randomly call them, nod at them, and talk to them.
Ang dami nilang kakilala sa unibersidad na ito. Pwedeng-pwede nga silang humabol bilang STEM representative o kahit na ano pang Chairman pa, e.
Cyprian nodded and gave him a high five.
“Kumusta Physics niyo?” The guy asked.
“Kami ang dapat mong kamustahin, pre.” Natatawang sagot ni Cyprian.
“Ulol! Paka humble niyo talagang gago kayo, e. Kayong tatlo nila Ciel. Mga mamaw sa numero. Hanggang ngayon talaga hindi kayo nahiwalay ng section ano? Hindi man akong nasali sa inyo. Wala sana ‘kong problema.”
It’s true. The three of them are really badasses when it comes to numbers. They excel in Physics, I excel in Biology. Pangarap kong maging surgeon, silang tatlo naman ay pangarap maging piloto.
Damn. I’ve realized… I am surrounded by three winged men. I’m sure and I’m claiming it, that they will be one of those greatest and respected pilots in the future.
Sana makita ko silang tatlo dito sa university na ‘to, suot-suot ang aero uniform nila hanggang sa matapos nila ang kursong aero at pumasok na sila sa flight school.
“Gago, sila lang. Nagpapaturo nga lang ako kay Colton at Ciel kung minsan.” Cyprian replied.
“Tangina, Abrigo. Yabangan mo naman ako kahit konti… Anyway, girlfriend mo?” The guy said, giving me a quick glance.
Napatingin sa akin si Cyprian bago ibinalik ang tingin sa kausap niya.
“Hindi. Tropa namin ‘to…”
Nakita kong napangisi iyong lalaki. “Anong pangalan ng tropa niyo?” He asked Cyprian giving me quick glances. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, nag-iwas ako nang tingin at itinuon na lang ang atensyon sa mga ulam na nasa harapan ko.
“Tanong mo kay Ciel,” is what I’ve heard from Cyprian but I acted nonchalant.
“Shet. Abort mission agad.”
“Did you feel uncomfortable? Pasensya ka na, ha? Malandi talaga ‘yon.” Cyprian said while we’re on our way to our table.
“Medyo. Oo nga, e. Ganyan siyang makatingin, ano?”
Ngumisi si Cyprian. “Oo, gano’n talaga siya. Mabuti nga wala si Ciel kanina kung hindi nasupalpal na ‘yon.” Natatawa niyang sabi.
“Kahit sino talaga binabara ng Ciel na ‘yan,” I said rolling my eyes. Tabos babawalan niya ako kapag nakikipag-away ako? Tss.
Hindi sumagot si Cyprian, ngumisi na lamang siya hanggang sa makarating na kami sa table namin. Ciel was already there.
Hindi pa siya kumakain at mukhang inaantay kami.
Nang mapansin niyang papalapit na kami ay kaagad siyang umusog sa may dulo at awtomatiko naman akong umupo sa tabi niya. It’s not like I really wanted to sit beside him. Sa ilang buwan ko silang kasama, parating ganito ang pwesto namin. Nasanay na lang ako.
Nakakatuwa nga. When one of them is not around, our classmates would always ask me. At kapag ako naman ang hinahanap, isa sa kanilang tatlo ang pagtatanungan ng mga kaklase namin.
It never fails to send that kind of warm and fuzzy feeling on my chest everytime. Ang saya pala na magkaroon ng mga kaibigan… Friends who knows how to be fun with you without respecting any of your boundaries.
Friends who genuinely care for you like a sister. Medyo mapait iyon sa parte ko pagdating kay Colton pero wala, eh.
“Tagal niyo.” Bungad kaagad ni Ciel habang nakatingin kay Cyprian.
“Ikaw kaya pumila.” Sagot ko.
“Ikaw ba tinatanong ko?” Pambabara niya sa akin. Natahimik ako at inirapan na lang siya.
Oo nga naman, si Cyprian naman kasi ang kausap. Nakakainis!
“Alam niyo? Kumain na lang tayo.” Cyprian said, grinning at the both of us. Nakaupo siya sa harapan namin.
We’re seated on one of the open sides of the canteen. Sa side namin ay ang building ng mga Engineering. Next year, ito na ang magiging building ng tatlo dahil isa na sila sa mga estudyante ng Aeronautical department.
Gusto ko na silang makita sa uniporme nila. Ang ganda kasing tingnan sa tuwing may nakakasalubong kaming nga Aero students.
While I was in my deep thoughts. Hindi ko namamalayan na naubos ko na pala ang pagkain ko.
My hold tightened against the utensils as I feel the familiar tense on my chest. Nagsisimula na ring pawisan ang sentido ko dahil sa nagtatalo kong isip.
I feel full.
And that’s what makes it worse. Sa tuwing nabubusog ako at nararamdaman ko iyon sa tiyan ko, nagsisimula akong magpanic and I always feel this desire to let all the food I intake out.
I bit my bottom lip hard as the familiar, wicked, and disgusting feeling starts invading me again.
I feel so fat.
I wanted to cry because there’s nothing wrong with being fat but why do I always feel bad about it? Why am I so scared to be that fat Mona again?
“Samahan niyo ako mamaya sa basement.” Ciel said while he was opening the cap of his bottled water.
“Waffles na naman?”
“Yes. I’ve been dying to try the hazelnut.”
While Cyprian and Ciel are talking about waffles, I’ve decided to excuse myself.
“Excuse me,” It was almost a whisper. It sounded so weak against my lips because I am. I am weak. I am being defeated by my insecurity again.
Pupunta na naman ako ng CR and I will force myself to vomit again. Damn!
I was about to get up from my seat but I stopped when I felt a warm hand wrapping around mine.
I slowly tilted my head to look at Ciel and his soft stares and warm grin was the first thing that I saw. He was already looking at me, giving me his warm grin while his hand was holding mine under this table.
“You look hot, Mona.” He said, his voice was low and soft, and that warm grin is never leaving his lips.
His deep brown eyes were looking into mine, softly caressing every inch of my insides.
My lips parted but no words came out.
“Nothing has changed, Mona… because you still look hot and sexy and beautiful even after you just ate your lunch.” He continued.
“Actually, you can even eat waffles with me a little later and you would still look so damn hot. Every bit of you is beautiful that even a Victoria Secret model would get insecure after seeing you.”
He gently squeezed my hand.
I was just staring at him as those genuine and empowering words are coming out from his lips.
“But you know what’s hotter in you, Mona? Your flaws.” He smiles.
I felt the corner of my eyes stinging.
“The mere fact that you are flawed makes you more attractive and hot. I like how your flaws show in you, all at once, making you look like a damn museum.”
I bit my bottom lip, trying so hard not to cry as his words strike once again while his thumb is gently stroking my skin and knuckles.
He’s giving me more than those butterflies… because when it comes to him, the whole jungle is what I feel on my stomach.
“And your mind? Damn, Mona. Your mind is a beautiful place…”
He thinks my mind is beautiful? But it’s broken. I’m a woman with a broken mind. And it’s not the kind of place that you would want to visit.
A soft smile crept on his lips, showing me once again, that mesmerizing dimple. “You’re a woman with a mind that is filled with stars, bursting into different exquisite colors.”
His hand slowly urged my hand to open up and I did…
He slowly entwined his fingers on mine, looking at me deeply, intently, and beautifully in the eyes.
“Don’t let that one tiny doubt dull your colors and ruin your art, Mona. Because if you could just see what I’m seeing? You will be mesmerized.”
I squeezed his hand, looking at him gently.
“T-Thank you…” I heard my own weak voice cracked. Damn. I don’t want to cry in here!
Ngumisi siya. “You’re not leaving this seat, okay? Dito ka lang…” He softly said, as if he knew what I was about to do the moment I leave this seat.
Tumango ako.
He nodded his head too, giving me his bottled water. “Drink a lot of this…” He said as his thumb continued stroking mine.
Ciel Alfieri saved me once again.
“Damn… You guys are really my OTP but why would you fucking do sexy talks in front of me?”
Sabay kaming napatingin kay Cyprian na kanina pa pala nakatanga sa amin. He really looks dazed and confused.
Ciel and I couldn’t help but to laugh at him and his confusion on what the hell is happening.
But honestly, I don’t think that what Ciel did are considered as sexy talks... they’re my salvation.