A X L
It was almost 6 p.m. when I got out of campus. Madali akong lumabas ng building dahil may usapan kami ni Nica na susunduin ko siya ng 7 p.m. sharp sa opisina niya sa BGC. Ngayon kasi gaganapin ang family meeting namin tungkol sa Last Will and Testament ni Mommy. Wrong timing nga lang dahil ilang oras kaming nag-extend sa huling prof. Marami pa raw kasi ang hindi pa nakakapagpasa ng plates.
Nagmadali akong lumabas papunta sa parking. Dito kasi sa Dawson ay nasa tapat ng kalsada ang building kung saan puwedeng mag-park, hindi katulad sa ibang universities na nasa iisang lote lang ang mismong school at ang parking lot.
Pagkalabas ko ng exit ay napansin ko kaagad si Pat na nakaupo sa isang bench at tila may hinihintay.
Malamang mommy niya.
I decided to keep my distance and just observe her from afar. She exudes serenity and peace. She had air pods in both of her ears, and her hair was pulled back into a bun at the top of her head. She was still sporting her go-to white sneakers and the same Metallica shirt, but this time, she substituted her usual shorts for a casual pair of pants.
I smiled in spite of myself. Napakasimple niya lang talaga.
She turned to look behind her and started gesturing at someone to sit beside her. Sinundan ko ng tingin ang mga mata niya para malaman kung sino 'yong kausap niya . . . and it's that damn guy again.
I thought he cheated on her? Bakit kung makaasta sila ngayon, parang ang saya-saya pa nila? Halos buong araw ko silang nakita na magkasama. Sa library, sa cafeteria, at hanggang ngayon ba naman na dismissal na?
I know that she's not my girlfriend and that she's free to spend time with any guy she wants, but I just can't help but feel a slight pang of jealousy every time I see her with him.
I saw the guy look in my direction and mutter something in Pat's ear. She removed her air pods, paid attention to what he was saying, and turned to face me. My heart began to race as our eyes locked. We made brief eye contact, but I quickly looked away to break the connection. I just hurried to the parking building to get my car, even when my heart was pounding like shit.
It was 07:08 p.m. when I arrived at Nica's office in BGC. The same building where I used to pick her up back when we were still going out.
She got in the car, and I can tell that she was pissed. "You're late," she complained.
She never liked waiting.
Not for me.
Not for anyone.
"Sorry, I got caught up in something," I explained.
She just scoffed and adjusted the AC. "Sobrang lamig na naman ng kotse mo, Axl. You know that's not good for your health, 'di ba?" she asked, her face showing the same impatient impression she wore every time I did something wrong.
Monica is three years older than me and she has a very strong and dominant personality. Needless to say, she was The Boss back when we were still together.
I just remained silent. Natutuhan ko nang manahimik na lang sa tuwing nagiging iritable siya. Kilala ko na kasi siya at alam kong mas lalo lang kaming magkakainitan na dalawa kapag nagsalita pa ako.
I kept up with her for five years. I served her. I worshipped her. And damn, I truly loved her.
But we didn't end on good terms and now, I just want nothing to do with her.
On the outside, there is no denying that she was beautiful and you'd be hard-pressed to find someone better-looking than her. She was sweet, smart, and very independent. She had all the things I believed I wanted, and I honestly thought she was perfect.
But I saw the red flags eventually.
Monica was constantly pissed and was always complaining. She was irritable, impatient, and incessantly picky. She loved attention and hated it when you don't give her all of yours. She radiated so much negativity, I dreaded being with her.
It took me a while to accept the fact that she was not someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Simply put, I am incredibly thankful that I managed to escape from the beautiful trap that she was. I can't begin to imagine how unbearably miserable my life would be now if I ignored all the warning signs and still stayed with her.
When we talked at the funeral and she asked me to get back together with her . . . it was not even a question I had trouble answering. The answer has always been no.
Matapos naming maghiwalay ay hindi kailanman pumasok sa isip ko na makipagbalikan sa kaniya. Truth be told? I was already thinking about breaking up with her for weeks, but my mom was just diagnosed with Stage 2 Ovarian Cancer at ayaw kong dumagdag pa sa alalahanin niya. I knew how close Monica was to my family and how much my mom loved her, kaya kahit wala na talaga akong nararamdaman para sa kaniya noon ay hindi muna ako nakipaghiwalay. Umasa ako na baka maibalik pa namin 'yong dating kami. Pinaniwala ko ang sarili ko na baka naguguluhan lang ako at kailangan ko lang ng kaunting oras para mag-isip.
But something else happened that caused me to ultimately end the relationship.
I caught her with someone else.
I picked her up from work an hour earlier than usual, so she wasn't expecting me. When she realized that I was already there, she just acted as if nothing happened and I didn't just catch her having an affair with one of her co-workers.
She got in the passenger seat of my car and scolded me because the AC was set to the coldest setting. I asked her who the guy was but she just pretended as if she didn't know who I was talking about.
I snatched her phone and checked her inbox, her Instagram, and even her gallery. I thought it was a good thing to respect your partner's privacy and never meddle with their stuff, pero sobrang kalat pala. They have been texting, video calling, and basically flirting for three months straight before I found out.
I even saw a photo of the guy with his tongue out and one hand on his dick—if you can even call it that.
"Really? I had no idea you were into bite-sized sausages." I laughed bitterly.
She started crying and soon confessed everything. She said that she started seeing him only because I didn't have time for her because I was too busy with school.
I didn't say a word.
I was disgusted.
I just dropped her off at her condo and left without saying goodbye, and then I moved out of my parents' house a week after.
It was not a good break-up, to say the least. I even avoided her family—including her younger brother, Marco—because they kept bugging me to fix the relationship.
The first time I saw her again after the break-up was when she dropped by the hospital after hearing about my mom's death. We may have ended things on a bad note, but I know that she really did love my mom. Kaya kahit wala na kami ay hindi na ako nagtaka nang mabalitaan ko na kasama siya sa Last Will and Testament ng nanay ko.
It was a little over 8 p.m. when we arrived at our house where my family—and the rest of the people included in my mom's Will—are scheduled to meet.
I fought back tears as I stepped inside the house I grew up in. I can't even remember the last time I was here. Somehow, I felt like a stranger in my own home. Knowing full well your mom won't be home, everything feels different.
The lights appeared to be darker, the halls seemed to be longer, and despite all the usual furniture, the place just looked really empty.
Everything's the same. But everything's not.
I surveyed the living room. I had no idea there would be more than ten people tonight. I recognized a lot of familiar faces—most of them friends of my mom—and I wondered if they were all included in her Will or if they were just here to eavesdrop. Parang naging reunion na kasi ng Zumba Club.
Everyone kept hugging me and offering their condolences even when I already met most of them during the funeral.
Hindi ko alam kung ako lang ba, pero hindi naman talaga nakakagaan ng loob when someone sends you their condolences. It doesn't lessen the pain and it most certainly doesn't bring back the dead. Maybe it's their way of showing they cared, but I would honestly appreciate it more if they all just shut their mouths and let me grieve in peace.
I sat down on the sofa and scrolled through my phone while waiting. I opened my Instagram and it was still on her profile. She still hasn't accepted my follow request and she also didn't reply to any of my messages.
I closed the app and realized that Nica was behind me. I lost her for a few minutes because she greeted some of the guests. We were together for years and every single one of my friends and family know her.
"So, you like someone na pala, ha." She smiled.
Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam bakit gusto niya pang makipagbalikan sa akin. It's been a year. Hindi ako naniniwalang wala siyang naging ibang karelasyon matapos naming maghiwalay.
"Yes," I answered.
"Hmm," she murmured, sitting beside me.
I know she was waiting for me to initiate a conversation, but I didn't. I just ignored her for the rest of the night until the arrival of our family lawyer.
Nanahimik ang lahat nang tumayo siya sa gitna ng receiving area at nagsimulang magsalita, "Good evening. I am Atty. Felix Realubit. I have been the personal lawyer of this family for 24 years now. It is unfortunate that we have to lose someone as kind and generous as her, but we still have to discuss Mrs. Priscilla Sy's Last Will and Testament."
After an entire minute of nothing but kind words for my mom, nagsimula na niyang basahin ang laman ng habilin ni Mommy.
Dahil wala siyang kapatid na babae, my mom left all of her jewelry to Tita Cass, her best friend, who is Marco and Monica's mom.
She then distributed her designer bags, clothes, and shoes to some of her other friends. They shrieked with joy every time the lawyer mentioned a familiar name, while I clenched my fists as I suppressed my anger. Akala mo nasa raffle lang sila kung makaasta sila. Ni hindi nga nila nagawang bisitahin ang mommy ko sa ospital no'ng panahong malubha na ang sakit niya.
Nica must have seen the look on my face because she held my hand to calm me down.
Marami pang ibang binanggit na pangalan si Atty. Realubit pero hindi ko na pinakinggan lahat. She left her wedding dress, her engagement and wedding rings, her personal documents and photo albums to my dad.
I stole a quick glance at him and he was soaking in tears as someone handed him my mom's photo albums.
The lawyer just kept blabbering on, not giving a rat's ass to everyone around him. I stiffened when I heard him call out my name.
My mom left me all of her cars, all of her money in all of her bank accounts, her condo unit and her townhouse in QC, her cabin in Baguio, and her rest house in Batangas.
He mentioned some other properties I was not familiar with, but they all just entered one ear and left the other.
I felt everyone stare at me as if waiting for me to leap with joy. I just ignored them and looked straight ahead.
"To my future daughter-in-law, Monica Ruth Briones, I leave my blue diamond ring, which is a family heirloom, and I also entrust her with my most precious treasure—my son, Axl Tristan Sy."
Akala namin ay tapos na lahat dahil sa akin na iniwan 'yong majority ng assets ni Mommy, but the lawyer went on talking. I heard him mention Monica's name and I felt her stiffen in her seat.
"I know you'll take good care of him and love him with all your heart. I wish I could be there to see you two start a family but know that I'm with you in spirit. Please always look out for one another. I love you both."
Natigilan ako sa kinauupuan ko. I don't know if I heard the lawyer right, but I guess I did because I noticed everyone look our way.
Monica turned to look at me with a smug look on her face and smiled. "So, I guess you're mine?" she whispered as she held my hand tighter.