* this chapter took so long to write - please keep commenting and voting as you read. it really motivates me (and my motivation has been rather non existent for this story recently) *
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CAMILLE
"Will you be long in there?" Charles knocked on the locked bathroom door at the exact moment I turned the shower off and squeezed my damp hair between my fingers, hoping to get rid of any excess water before I took the smaller white towel to wrap around my head. "You have a message."
I grumbled, reaching for the longer piece of linen to wrap around my wet body. We were in Bahrain and it was Saturday, qualifying day, and I couldn't wait to see what Charles would do in the car today. I knew he was capable of so much and he would do everything in his power to make the team proud of him. He wasn't expected to arrive at the circuit until nine, so we were lucky to share an extra few minutes together under the warm duvet cover, our bodies tangled closely together, Charles' fingers paying extra attention to my soft skin. I forced my way out of the bed to take a shower, so that I had plenty of time to get myself ready for the day. Charles told me that Andrea would head to the circuit with us and we we would eat breakfast together in the Ferrari motor home before they disappeared to ensure that Charles was prepared to get into the car for the third and final free practice session of the weekend, shortly followed by qualifying.
I opened the bathroom door and noticed Charles sitting on the edge of the bed, still dressed in only his underwear as he nervously looked at my phone. I chewed on my lip, because that reaction was never good. Whilst walking towards him, I held out my hands for Charles to take, hoping to reassure him before sending him to the bathroom because we didn't have time to waste after spending that little while longer in bed.
"Who's it from?" I ensured my towel was tucked securely around my frame before walking towards the wardrobe in the corner of our large, spacious room. I knew what I was wearing after planning my outfit last night before I climbed into bed beside Charles. I pulled the short, summer dress which was decorated with flowers from the railing, along with the white cardigan I planned to wear across my shoulders. The weather in Sakhir was lovely today and I didn't want to be too hot or too cold whilst at the track. I knew I'd be fine like this. I noticed that my fiancé was yet to reply to my question and I didn't understand why, so I prompted him. "Charles."
"My brother." He sounded a little pissed off and my heart fell into my stomach. I knew who he meant immediately. Arthur and I were close as a result of my relationship with Charles and he was wonderful. It was a real shame that we didn't get to spend as much time together as we would've hoped, but my close relationship with both of Charles' brothers still remained.
"Arthur?" I cleared my throat whilst waiting for clarification. Charles nodded, as I took his hands between mine and brought him to his feet. I smiled at my fiancé, taking his cheeks between my fingertips and pressing our lips together. "I'll check it later. I don't have time right now. I need to make myself look all pretty."
"You already look like the prettiest girl in the world," Charles brushed his fingers across my damp cheekbones as a soft smile lifted on his face. I loved how nice he was to me. Charles was very caring and I was lucky to have him in my life. I would never tire of expressing my gratitude for him. "I love you, mon amour."
"I love you, too," I couldn't help but leave another kiss on Charles' soft lips before pushing my fingers to the centre of his chest. "Now go shower! Andrea will be here soon and you need to get ready."
He sighed, but nodded and left my side to enter the bathroom. I looked at my phone, rolling my eyes at the thought of even checking my notifications and decided to plug it in to the wall to charge instead. It was rather tempting, however, to see what Arthur took the time to send me. The only thing running through my mind was the thought of something was wrong back home. It was race weekend, Charles had to be in the best mental state for getting in the car and directly informing him of anything which could impact his ability in the car was a bad idea. The worry was building up in the pit of my stomach and I was struggling brush it off. For my sake and for Charles', I needed to know that everything was okay back in Monaco so I opened the message.
ARTHUR: I really like you, Camille. I can't stop thinking about you and God, I wish we could spend more time together. I wish you weren't engaged to my brother. I wish you could be mine.
My heart stopped for a moment and my phone fell from my hands, leaving a thud against the small bedside cabinet as it made contact. I hissed when I realised that Charles was only in the room next door and the wall between the bedroom and the bathroom was rather thin. Surely Arthur was joking. Maybe he was drunk. Maybe he was dared by someone to send me a message like that. There was no way that he meant what he said. He knew Charles would lose his mind if he found out about this. Oh God, Charles. I couldn't tell him yet. I needed the advice of one of my friends before I even thought about telling Charles about this. Of course, he needed to know, but I was afraid of his reaction because I knew how negative it would be. I didn't want this to damage the relationship he shared with his younger brother.
I didn't know who to turn to. In this situation, Max was far from the best person to talk to because I knew he would get a little overprotective. Ideally, I wanted to see someone and talk to them face to face; Dilara was at home studying and Victoria was working in Amsterdam. My head felt like it was about to explode and I could feel my heart rattling around in my chest. I knew Lando would be around today, obviously because he was in Bahrain too, and I knew I could confide in him no matter the situation. He would be honest with me, even though I knew that I had to tell Arthur that of course his feelings were one sided and also informing Charles about the message. God, I felt sick. I was too consumed by my thoughts which were running wild in my head to even give getting dressed a thought.
CAMILLE: Hey, Lan, could I meet you at some point today before Quali? I need to talk to you. It's important. Don't worry, it's not serious, I just need your opinion and advice. Let me know when you'll be available for half an hour and we can meet somewhere. Good luck today, too x
--
Lando instructed me to head to McLaren once the third practice session concluded. I'd spent my morning in the Ferrari garage with Andrea practically glued to my side. I felt bad because his job was to be with Charles, not me, but my fiancé instructed his trainer to keep his eyes on me at all times. I was thankful for it, I needed the protection at such a strange time because I knew Stefan would be around somewhere. Whether I saw him or not, I knew he would be lurking around the garage or the Ferrari motor home.
I felt a little nervous when walking through the paddock towards the McLaren hospitality area. I really didn't know how to approach this situation without causing trouble. I knew Charles would be upset, but I expected that because his brother decided to randomly admit that he had some sort of crush on me. I totally appreciated the fact that Charles would hurt after finding this out, hence why I needed the best advice possible surrounding how to tell him. For that, I knew Lando was the best person to ask. Even though he was younger than me, he was wise and we'd been through a lot together, so he knew me better than I realised.
"Hi," after rushing up towards the front door of the hospitality building, I smiled at one of the team members, who I didn't know by name. I knew a few McLaren team members, but mostly those who Lando worked with closely. I just hoped that I was recognised to an extent and that I wouldn't be turned away because I looked like a crazed fan. "I'm here for Lando. I'm meeting him now final practice is over and he told me to ask for him."
"It's Camille, right?" The woman asked with a polite smile and I nodded, a sigh of relief escaping from my lips. I noticed Lando rushing towards me from the left side of the building, a wide grin on his face. "He told us he was expecting someone, but I guess he's figured that you arrived without needing to find him."
"Thank you." Politely, I smiled at the woman dressed in McLaren team wear before she headed back towards a table which was tucked away in the corner. Lando opened his arms and allowed me to step into his embrace, but I quickly pulled away because I didn't want to be spotted and photographed by fans who would quickly create rumours. I kept my fingers pressed against his back, noticing that his cheeks were deep red and a thin layer of sweat was prominent on his forehead. The final session ended only moments ago so I wasn't surprised to see Lando looking so exhausted. Although, I was still happy to see him and be in his company. I missed him more than I realised when we were apart.
"What's the matter, Camille?" Lando guided me through the hospitality building and towards the steps which would take us to his private room. I needed some privacy right now, plus some space to breathe because Arthur's message had been playing on my mind all morning. "You know I hate it when you send me random messages like that."
I chewed on my lip, remaining silent whilst continuing to follow behind Lando. He looked at me, his eyebrows knitted together as he flashed me a worried look. Once we were in his room, I sat on the sofa and buried my face into my hands. I knew he didn't have long before he needed to be in the car again, so I had to make it quick.
"Arthur sent me a text this morning and it just, I don't know, I don't like it. I think if Charles finds out it'll cause so much trouble and I don't want to be responsible for that," I'd barely explained what the text message even said and already I was waffling to Lando about how it made me feel. He looked at me with raised eyebrows and confusion plastered across his face. I chewed down on my lip with so much force thay it almost bled, but it was a result of the anxiety which I could feel in my chest. "I don't know what to do. I haven't replied, I haven't told Charles. You're the first person I came to. Max would lose his mind."
"Slow down, Camille," Lando reached for my hands and caressed my skin carefully. His touch was so calming, but suddenly, I realised that I'd not been very clear at all. He had no idea what I was talking about. "Take a breath and start again. Take your time."
"Arthur sent me a message telling me how much he likes me and how he wishes that I wasn't engaged to his brother," with red cheeks, I lifted my eyes to look at Lando. I noticed how his face dropped suddenly, his mouth hanging agape. I was expecting that reaction. "He said, and I quote, 'I wish you could be mine'."
"Shit," Lando muttered, chewing on his lip as he ran his fingers through his hair. I didn't want to stress him out, but it was difficult to control my stress and anxiety. Qualifying day was always important. I didn't want to impact Lando's concentration, especially when he needed to be in the car in a matter of minutes. "We don't have much time so I'm going to be straight up with you."
He fell silent for a second and I widened my eyes, encouraging him to tell me what he thought was best. I couldn't believe that Lando was younger than me yet I was relying on his advice. I felt terrible in this situation, never wanting to be the person who was stuck in the middle of something. Initially, I assumed Arthur was drunk, but he wasn't silly and he barely consumed alcohol anyway. Maybe it was some sort of joke, but then I realised that there was always the possibility that Arthur was simply being bluntly honest. I didn't want to believe it because I couldn't bear to hurt Charles, but in reality, it was the only viable option.
"You need to be honest and tell Charles," Lando exhaled, causing me to shake my head as my heart plunged into the pit of my stomach. I was expecting him to say that, it just felt a little strange when the words actually fell from his mouth. "You've not done anything wrong. You haven't provoked anything so you have nothing to feel guilty about, okay? Charles simply needs to know about Arthur's feelings, because they are siblings and I know that Arthur would never have the confidence to tell his brother himself."
"I don't want to get myself involved." Sheepishly, I chewed on my lip, almost drawing blood as I forced my teeth further into the delicate layer of skin. Lando shook his head and cupped my chin with his index and middle finger before pulling my lip away from between my teeth.
"You need to tell him. You can't keep this from him," Lando brushed his finger across my cheekbone and I closed my eyes at the calming feeling. Already, I was trying to piece together something in my mind. "I know you're worried, Camille, but this is something he must know about. He's your fiancé, for goodness sake, you can tell him anything. He has absolutely no reason to be annoyed at you."
I hated how Lando was always right. He may have been two years younger than me, but he always seemed to be full of the best advice. I was pleased that our relationship never changed after last summer and I knew it was mostly because neither of us regretted it. It was a fling, sure, but it still meant a lot to both of us whilst it happened. It still baffled me to think that little Lando Norris, the small boy I met when I was ten years old, could make me feel like that. I knew that his girlfriend, whoever that may be in the future, would be a very lucky girl.
"I need to head back to the garage for Quali," Lando spoke with a sad tone lingering on his tongue, but I shook my head because I couldn't let him feel bad. He'd already helped me enough. "I'll walk you to Ferrari so I know you get there safely but please, promise me you'll tell Charles."
"I'll do it tonight," I exhaled, as Lando took my hand and gave me a reassuring squeeze. He wore a soft smile on his face. "I promise."
--
Charles was starting the race behind Max who only just managed to secure pole position. The thought of the turn one drama after lights out made me feel rather nauseous, but I knew the boys were sensible and they wouldn't bring any harm to themselves. Charles was more than pleased with his starting position for tomorrow and I didn't want to ruin his mood, but I had to tell him about Arthur's message.
We were back in our beautiful hotel room and I'd just finished my nightly skin care routine in the bathroom. Charles knocked on the door and I looked in the mirror, noticing that my fiancé had popped his head around the corner of the door to get my attention. He was still dressed in his Ferrari team shirt and a pair of black shorts; I knew that he wouldn't change until we were getting into bed. With our impending conversation looming on my mind, I didn't know how long it would be until we were comfortable. Charles probably wouldn't sleep one wink tonight. I didn't want to throw him off before the race but it only felt right to tell him, plus I'd promised Lando and I couldn't break that.
"Charles, we need to talk," I applied my lip balm before throwing it into my skincare and makeup bag, zipping it up and ensuring it was placed properly on the cabinet in the bathroom. My heart was rattling against my weak and fragile chest. "It's important. I don't want you to be pissed at me."
"What have you done?" Charles lifted his right eyebrow as he backed away from the bathroom door. His tone was sarcastic and his lighthearted approach made me feel even worse about this whole situation. I followed him out, turning off the light and dragging my feet across the soft carpet.
"I haven't done anything," I admitted, very honestly, because it was the absolute truth. I noticed his smile falling as I sat myself on my side of the king size bed. It was so comfortable and I never wanted to leave. I could stay tucked up here forever. "It's about the message I received this morning, from Arthur."
"Is everything okay at home?" Charles seemed to panic initially, but he calmed down when I started to nod my head and take his hands. He was warm, it was comforting, and I needed that in this horribly tense situation. I felt conflicted inside, not knowing whether this was the right thing to do.
"Yes, of course everything is okay. I'm sure he would've contacted you if there was a problem." I was stupidly trying to put it off for as long as I could but the suspicious look in Charles' eyes made me realise that it was so important to tell him.
"What was it, then?" He pushed his fingers through his hair, opening his lips and allowing a soft sigh to pass between them. I felt his breath hit my cheeks and I couldn't help but smile. I loved being around him. I loved everything about him and I was so afraid of hurting him by admitting the truth but it was the only thing to do. Even if he got angry at Arthur, he needed to know.
I reached for my phone and cleared my throat whilst unlocking it, opening the Messages application and finding my conversation with Arthur. I'd not replied to his message because I didn't know what to say and I felt bad but I wanted absolutely nothing to do with Arthur romantically. I hoped that my silence reiterated my desired answer.
"'I really like you, Camille. I can't stop thinking about you and God, I wish we could spend more time together. I wish you weren't engaged to my brother. I wish you could be mine.'" With a sigh, I locked my phone and lifted my eyes towards Charles' face, absolutely dreading the look I'd be greeted with. I felt so sick, my stomach turning with nerves as Charles blinked a few times, shaking his head.
"You're joking," he almost laughed, but when he saw the seriousness on my face, he stopped. Still. He fell silent. "You can't be fucking serious."
"I didn't know what to do or what to say. I didn't reply," I could feel the tears brimming in the front of my eyes as Charles shook his head and stood up, chewing on his lip. "I had no idea he felt like that, but I don't care because I only want you."
"How dare he go behind my back and do something like that?" Charles began to pace around the bedroom, tugging on his dark strands and almost pulling his hair out. I threw my phone onto the mattress and stood up myself, rushing towards my fiancé but I couldn't get too close because he was moving too fast. I just wanted to hold him and reassure him that I was settled; I knew who I wanted to be with and that was most definitely not Arthur.
"Maybe he was drunk. Maybe he didn't mean it." I wanted to calm him down because I could sense that something bad would happen if I didn't step in. Charles created a fist with his hand before looking at me. Tears were streaming down his face and I could feel my heart snapping into hundreds of pieces.
"Are you on his side?" He didn't mean that. He was just shocked and annoyed because he'd found out. "Merde, if you want to be with him, you can just say."
"Are you out of your mind?" I tried to remain cool, calm and collected because Charles' race tomorrow afternoon was at the forefront of my mind. I didn't want him to be distracted from putting in some good laps and hopefully achieving the top spot on the podium. "Of course I don't want to be with him, Charles. You're brothers, you shouldn't fight or be mad at one another so I'm trying to make it better."
"I need to call him and ask what was going through his mind when he sent that message," Charles was thinking, and behaving, irrationally. He was getting so worked up over this and he had every right to be upset, but I didn't want him to be too upset and angry. "I need him to know that you're mine. You're my girl, Camille, not his."
"I know I am. I'll always be your girl," I stepped closer towards Charles and reached for his wrists initially, before slipping my fingers towards his hands and intertwining ours together. "Please calm down. Please. I didn't want to upset you, I just thought you deserved to know. It's been on my mind all day."
"That's why you went to see Lando, isn't it?" Charles sat on the bed again, his head buried into his hands whilst his elbows rested in the centre of his thigh. I told him that I was heading over to McLaren before Qualifying started to catch up with Lando. I was relieved because Charles was much more understanding and accepting of our friendship. "You asked him for advice, didn't you?"
"He told me I had to tell you today. I didn't want to because I thought it would distract you from the race tomorrow, but I promised him," I shrugged my shoulders, lifting my face so that it was closer towards Charles' cheekbone, allowing me to easily press a soft kiss to his skin. "I don't want you to hate Arthur because of his feelings. I know he could've told me in a different scenario and maybe worded it differently altogether, but he can't help how he feels."
"'I wish you weren't engaged to my brother', what is that supposed to mean? He knows exactly what he's doing and what he wants," Charles folded his arms across his chest and drew in a tight breath. "He wants you."
"He won't get me." I reassured him, but it would never be enough right now. I took his hands and enclosed them between mine, providing a soft, but firm squeeze, as I allowed our eyes to meet. Charles was so close to crying and I hated seeing him so upset. I always seemed to be the root of his problems.
"I don't want to lose you to anyone, mon amour." His voice was almost silent. He sounded broken. His words were so fragile as his breath caught in the back of his throat. Charles exhaled, as I sat up and shuffled closer towards him, perching myself in front of his lap and running my fingers across the material of his shirt.
"You're never going to lose me. We're engaged, Charles. We'll be married soon and we'll be starting our own family," I smiled at the thought of properly settling down with Charles. It excited me and I couldn't help but feel a little giddy inside as I allowed images of mine and Charles' family to circulate in my mind. "I'm yours and I love you."
"I love you, too." I could sense the anger rushing through his veins but he was trying to hide it for my sake. I knew that he wanted to call Arthur and express all of his feelings, but I'd hopefully distracted him enough from that thought. I wanted him to focus on me right now, to become engrossed by us and this moment we were sharing together. The dim lights in the room and the soft breeze which entered through the small crack in the open window added to the romance. I loved this feeling; Charles and I were locked in our own little bubble.
"Don't worry about what Arthur said right now. It means nothing to me, okay? Talk to him when we're home, by all means, but don't distract yourself from racing," I brushed my fingers across the prominent stubble on his cheeks and it sent fireworks through my body. As the seconds passed, my desire for Charles seemed to intensify. "Tomorrow is important. I know you can win it."
"For you," Charles' response was muffled as he pressed his lips to my cheek, carefully bringing them closer to my mouth as I squeezed his hand. Our fingers then lost touch and Charles was quick to place his hand against my thigh. I muttered into our delicate kiss, enjoying the sweet taste of his lips as I made myself comfortable on the mattress. "Do you want to?"
I knew what he meant and I didn't even need to consider my answer. I was already nodding my head in consent before the words could spill over my tongue. A smile lifted on Charles' face as he allowed me to unfasten the top buttons of his Ferrari shirt before my fingers attached to the hem and focused there for a short while. Simply having him so close made me happy. His breath hit my skin as he exhaled and my whole body seemed to cave at the sensation of goosebumps rising on my arms.
"I love you so much, darling," Charles rolled my shirt up my stomach and stopped at my ribs. Our eyes met for a brief moment but I smiled, unable to contain the amount of love I felt in this moment. I was so full of love for him that I could've burst. "I really, really do."
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BAHRAIN - RACE TWO - RESULT: P1 LEC; P2 VER; P3 HAM; P4 BOT; P5 VET; P6 NOR; P7 ALB; P8 OCO; P9 RIC; P10 GAS; P11 SAI; P12 RAI; P13 STR; P14 KVY; P15 MAG; P16 GIO; P17 RUS; P18 LAT; DNF GRO, PER
please please please check out my brand new story 'bucket list'. i recently finished 'the moon' so my attention is now focused on this story and my new one - it would mean so much if you could add them to your library!!
also, if you haven't already, you should definitely check out 'i love you' by my girl OFFTH3MARK - she is such a legend and it actually amazes me. i love her so much and her writing deserves to be seen by absolutely everyone!!! ❤️