P A T
It was past 8 p.m. when I finally got home. Axl offered to drop me off but I know he has to be with his family at this time, so I refused. He just helped book me a Grab ride, and even made sure that I got in the car safely before going back inside the hospital.
As soon as I got off the car, our front door burst open and my mom came running towards me.
"Saan ka galing, Porscha Antoinette?! Late na! Pumunta ako sa school mo at wala ka. I contacted your friends, sabi nila hindi ka na bumalik since lunch. What happened?! Alalang-alala kami ng kuya mo sa iyo!" My mom sounded mad, worried, and relieved all at the same time. She even used my real name and didn't call me Pat.
I didn't notice that my brother was behind her.
"Kuya," I greeted, walking towards him and hugging him.
"Pat, pinag-alala mo kami. Nakailang text at tawag kami sa iyo, hindi ka ma-contact. Nag-text ka pa sa amin ni Mommy na mahal mo kami. Bumyahe ako mula Bataan hanggang dito, naunahan pa kita," he scolded me.
I already expected them to worry dahil nawala rin talaga sa isip ko na magpaalam. Napansin ko na lang kasi na empty na ang battery ng phone ko no'ng nasa Grab car na ako pauwi.
"Sorry, Ma, Kuya," bulong ko. "My friend's mom just passed away and I really had to be there. Sorry, hindi ako nakapagpaalam."
Nakita kong nanlaki ang mga mata ng mommy ko sa sinabi ko. "What? Who passed away? Sinong kaibigan mo?" tanong niya.
"He's a new friend, Mom. Remember the guy who almost hit the back of our car last week? Mommy niya," paliwanag ko.
Napabuntonghininga si Mommy. "Oh, my. That poor kid," she whispered, her hands covering her mouth and completely ignoring my brother's frantic reaction about Axl almost hitting the back of our car. "Let's pay a visit tonight habang nandito ang kuya mo. Let's just pay our respects," sambit niya.
Agad din namang pumayag ang kapatid ko.
"Sige po, magbibihis lang po muna ako." I nodded. Gusto ko rin kasi talagang makita ulit si Axl at malaman ang lagay niya kahit na halos buong araw na kaming magkasama.
Mabilis akong pumasok sa loob ng bahay upang maligo at magbihis. I just wore a simple, black dress and flats, at nang makabalik ako sa sala ay nakabihis na rin silang dalawa.
"Do you know where the funeral is?" Kuya Prince asked.
I nodded, remembering Axl mention something about Arlington.
We were all quiet while my brother was driving. Nasa passenger seat ang mommy ko, habang ako naman ang nasa likod. I took out my phone and charged it using my powerbank. After a few minutes, bumukas na rin ito at saka ko lang nabasa lahat ng mga texts nina Mads, Ganja, at ng mommy at kuya ko.
There was also one text from Justin's new number.
FROM: Justin — Smart (New)
Your mom's here.
I wasn't sure if my mom saw him at school. But if she did, she sure had no plans of letting me know kasi wala pa rin siyang nababanggit sa akin hanggang ngayon.
Maybe she figured out that I lied to her about Justin transferring to Dawson? Tinanggi ko kasi sa kaniya noon na si Justin 'yong nakita niyang kasama ko sa labas ng campus. I guess I'd just have to talk to her later and apologize.
When we finally arrived at Arlington Memorial Chapels, Kuya Prince looked for an available parking spot, while my mom and I went straight to the lobby to ask where the funeral for Axl's mom was being held.
Pagpasok namin sa room na itinuro ng receptionist ay wala pa masyadong tao. There were barely 20 people including us. We sat at the nearest chairs, and my mom quickly closed her eyes and prayed.
I looked for Axl but I couldn't find him anywhere. Iginala ko na lang ang mga mata ko sa paligid at nakita ang malaking larawan ng mommy niya na naka-display sa tabi lang ng kabaong nito.
Priscilla Sy
Born: June 17, 1968
Died: October 11, 2019
She is really pretty. In fact, mukha nga siyang foreigner at tila walang lahing Pinoy. I have also seen Axl's father earlier at talaga palang pinaghalong version si Axl ng mga magulang niya.
I was just about to get my phone and DM him on Instagram when I saw him enter through the slide doors.
He was wearing a black polo shirt, plain jeans, and sneakers. It seems like he had just taken a bath because his hair was still a little wet and brushed up. He looks a lot better. His eyes were still puffy but at least he's no longer crying. He was talking to someone behind him, but I couldn't see who it was from where I was sitting.
Hinintay kong makita niya ako but he was too preoccupied, so I just observed him from a distance. Napansin ko na may isang babaeng tumayo mula sa unahan at lumapit sa kaniya. She kissed him on the cheek while they talked. Maya-maya lang, nakita kong hinawakan niya 'yong kamay ng babae at sabay silang lumabas papunta sa side garden.
I didn't want to overthink. First of all, Axl isn't my boyfriend. Second, the girl could just be a family member. Third, we are at someone's funeral, and I shouldn't even be thinking about them.
Instead of worrying about them, I just closed my eyes and prayed with my mom. I prayed for Tita Priscilla's soul, and I prayed for those she left behind, especially him. May they find peace and acceptance.
After a while, my mom found someone she knew kaya iniwan niya muna akong mag-isa. I started looking around for my older brother dahil kanina pa siya naghahanap ng parking at baka naligaw na. Lumabas ako para tawagan siya, nang may narinig akong nag-uusap mula sa smoking area.
I didn't want to pry but I recognized one of the voices as Axl's.
"It was just one mistake, Axl. One! But you never gave me a chance to explain!" I heard a woman say.
"Tangina naman, Nica. One mistake? Tatlong buwan mo 'kong niloko! What's there to talk about? At ngayon ka pa talaga makikipag-usap? Hindi mo na nirespeto si Mama!" I heard Axl raise his voice.
"I respect your mom, Axl. You know I love her as much as you do. She was literally a second mom to me at pareho lang tayong nasasaktan ngayon. Pero kung hindi kita kakausapin ngayon, kailan pa? You never talked to me. You blocked me everywhere. Maski sa bahay niyo, umalis ka na lang bigla at kumuha ng sariling condo mo. Tell me, Axl. Paano kita kakausapin no'n? Lahat na ginawa ko. But you simply threw everything away."
"No, Nics. Please stop with the bullshit. You threw everything away. Iyong limang taon na pinagsamahan natin, sinayang mo para sa lalaking 'yon."
"I-I'm sorry. What else do you want me to say? Please. J-Just take me back. Papayag na 'ko. I will marry you. Kahit bukas na kaagad. I just really want you back, Axl. Please." I can hear her crying.
I have decided that I have heard enough. Masyado nang pribado ang pinag-uusapan nila at mali na makinig ako.
Papasok na sana ako pabalik sa loob nang biglang sumulpot ang kuya ko na hindi ko alam kung saang lupalop nanggaling. "Pat! There you are!" my brother yelled loudly. "Kanina ko pa kayo hinahanap ni Mommy. Dapat 'di na lang kayo nagse-cellphone kung 'di rin naman kayo ma-contact!"
I gestured for him to shut up but it was too late. Axl showed up with the girl, Monica, by his side.
I already saw her on the photo Axl had on his Instagram profile, so I was already aware that she was pretty. But I didn't expect her to look a hundred times more beautiful in person.
She's slim and has porcelain-white skin, it's almost like she's glowing under the moonlight. Her hair was long and reached her waist. She also has beautiful, almond eyes and full lips. Her beauty is so unbelievable, she doesn't even look real. Even now that her eyes are all red and puffy from crying . . . Aubrey, the prettiest girl I know, would still look common next to her.
Axl was trying to catch my eyes, but I just ignored him and looked away. Inaya ko na rin kaagad sina Mama at Kuya na umuwi na dahil may kailangan pa akong tapusin para sa school.
I can feel him stealing glances at me as we were leaving, but I still didn't look his way.
Hangga't maaga pa, dapat ay iwasan ko na siya. There are obviously a lot of unresolved problems between him and his ex. She's clearly not yet over him. She even mentioned something about agreeing to marry him.
They have been together for five years. They had sex with each other. Sabi pa ni Monica ay tinuturing niyang second mom ang nanay ni Axl.
Masyado nang malalim ang pinagsamahan nilang dalawa. Ano ba naman 'yong ilang linggo naming pagkain ng lunch sa limang taon na relasyon nila, 'di ba?
He's going to give me nothing but heartache at kotang-kota na 'ko ro'n.
Humiga agad ako sa kama pagkauwi ng bahay. I feel so drained dahil para bang sobrang daming nangyari ngayong araw na 'to.
Kaninang tanghali lang ay dinala ako ni Axl sa restaurant na pag-aari ng kaibigan niya. I am certain that we would have shared another awesome time together, if not for the news of his mother's passing.
Why does that memory seem so far away when it's literally just a few hours ago?
I opened my Instagram account and saw that there was a message from him but I decided not to read it. I went to his profile and quickly unfollowed him before turning off the lights and closing my eyes to sleep.
If there's one thing I learned from my previous relationship, it's that I should learn to recognize red flags as soon as they show. I should not be naive and should be more protective of my heart in order to save myself from heartbreak.
Yes, Axl and I had a good time. But all good things come to an end.
I already made the mistake of falling for a guy who's already in love with someone else, and I won't let that happen again.
Even if it's with him.