"Y/n, honey, are you alright?" Mother asked, putting a hand on my shoulder. I jumped at her cold touch.
"Yes. Im okay." I looked out of a nearby window, moonlight seeping out of it. I wasn't okay. This wasn't right. I hated being a Death Eater.
A stinging pain came from my arm. I looked down to see the hideous Death Eater symbol burned into my skin, the skin around it all red and irritated. I frowned at the sight of it. Father noticed.
"It'll heal up fairly quickly; It's worth it in the end." He exclaimed. "I don't regret becoming a Death Eater, it has it's pros." Mother laughed, her eyes trailing down to the floor. Her cheeks started to blush as if she had just been asked out.
"You know, your father and I met each other at one of the meetings..." She clasped her hands on her lap. "It seems like yesterday we had our first talk; It was about those horrid muggles." Mother hissed the 'muggle' part, and it nearly made me flinch at how unnatural it was.
I've never seen my parents acting like this. They were always so happy and cheery; They always wore bright clothes and even had a bright colored house... Was that all just a cover up? To make it seem like we were a normal family?
"Dear, wouldn't it be sweet is that little Malfoy boy ended up with Y/n?" Mother cooed. My eyes widened.
"Me? With Draco? No way." I shook my head, crossing my arms. I turned my head away to end any further comment about that dreadful thought.
Were they crazy? I'd rather be killed than go out with that platinum haired freak.
"Why? He seems like a fine gentleman." Father tilted his head in question.
'Fine gentleman'... Last time I checked, 'fine gentlemen' don't try to kiss girls randomly.
"We just have a bad past." I muttered. Mother sighed in slight disappointment, and I let my thoughts run through my head in an attempt to distract myself from this interaction.
The thought of Snape crawled into my mind. My cheeks heated up.
I shut it down quickly. He's WAY older than you, Y/n; don't even think about it.
Without thinking, the words that were built up at my tongue slipped out on impulse.
"Besides, I like someone else..." A small smile shone onto my face as my parents went silent. Great. Now they were going to make a big deal about it.
"You LIKE someone?" Mother clapped happily. "Oh my goodness! Y/n loves someone! Who is it? Are they a pure-blood? They better not be a bloody muggle!" She frantically spoke. Father was still silent, obviously waiting for an answer. Mother began again.
"Do they know what they want to do? Are they ready to do anything in the future? What if-"
"They're a half-blood, mum." I blurted out amongst the chatter. Mother fell silent, joining father with a let down expression.
"Well... Er... it's... It's better than being a Muggle..." Mother squeaked. Father let out a loud breath.
I could tell that they were disappointed. I never knew my parents were so strict about my... 'dating life'.
"What's with preserving the whole pure-blood line all of a sudden?" I asked, irritated.
"It's just that... Look, it's been like this for centuries. Centuries of wizards and witches; The L/n's never married ...Muggles... Not a lot married half-bloods... Unless they wanted to be erased completely from the tree... They all kept it clean." Father quickly exclaimed before mother could seep another word in. I bit my cheeks. What was wrong with marrying someone just because of their type? I sighed, crossing my arms.
"Okay... I get it..." I lied. Mother nodded and began to walk off, father trialing behind her. I watched as they did so, and waited a few moments before going along.
'I like someone else.'... I don't like Snape! I probably feel that way about him because he's a teacher that I'm closer to.
This was too much for a night...
I walked out of the room we had the meeting in and wasted no time in quickly heading down to the front where I apparated away, hoping to somehow never return to this manor again.
*×*
The cold air that took place over Hogwarts came back, chilling my shoulders. I tried to cross my arms in an attempt to keep warm, but it failed as it did no good.
The moon shone onto the ground, illuminating the stone pathway leading up to the entrance hall to the school. it was beautiful out tonight; the sky was littered with stars and you could see the mountains around clearly.
On nights like these I went to the astronomy tower; It was always empty after sunset, so it made it easier to sneak up and down the steps.
Of course, it'll be harder to go up in this mess of a dress and heels, but it's worth a try.
I hurried into the school, taking the route around the halls and finally making it to the door that led to the tower. I looked both ways before heading in, making sure that no professor was roaming the halls for stray students.
The husky, heavy door creaked open, revealing a dust covered room. I expected it to be spotless since some students had astrology; I guess they were being taught somewhere else.
I closed the door, waiting for the click so I could run up the stairs. As the door let off the familiar tick noise, I made a run for it. I needed to stay up here as long as possible after watching Voldemort kill professor Burbage in front of my eyes... I deserved it.
A shiver ran up my spine as I thought about it, but it quickly passed as I got up onto the top of the tower. A statue sat next to me as I looked over it; I never got a good look at it before.
But my attention was suddenly averted to the moon and the landscape that it was set above of. It reflected off of the lake.
I zoned off as I leaned against the stone railing. I looked over the yard;
I couldn't believe that this was my last year at Hogwarts. I could still feel the same amount of worry and nervousness that came over me in my first year.
But thank God for Ron; He introduced me to Harry and Hermione, which was a huge save for the rest of my years here.
I was engulfed into more thought, and the moon above slowly crept through the sky.
But I was snapped out of my wondering as I heard something behind me.
Slow footsteps clicked against the floor. I quickly turned around to see professor Snape walking up beside me, his eyes fixated on the full moon.
"Professor! I'm sorry, I was just-"
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
I furrowed my brows in confusion. He wasn't... Mad?
I looked back at the moon, a small smile suddenly spreading onto my face.
"Yeah... I love coming up here some nights and looking over the lake." I rested my head on my hand as I leaned more onto the railing. It was almost as if no one was up here with me; as if I were alone.
Did that say something?
Snape put his hands behind his back as he stopped in front of the railing with me, almost touching arms. I moved a bit to the left to avoid any ridiculing from him.
"Strange how it is. It somehow takes the worries away for me." He muttered.
We got silent, taking in the view. At least he got to stay here and enjoy many more nights up in the tower; and not to mention, getting away with it, as I'm more than lucky right now just to be anywhere else aside from the common room.
The meeting came back to me. It kept slipping into my mind like an ocean wave, re-soaking the sand of memory.
It made me flinch.
Snape noticed, slowly turning over to me.
"I know how you felt during the meeting." Snape said. I knew he didn't, but I nodded, straightening myself up before I spoke.
"It's... Horrifying. I don't like it..." I said, my eyes trailing up onto his dark eyes. They reminded me of black marbles, almost a void. They alluded me in a way.
"I don't know how to feel about being a Death Eater...." I added, in an almost whisper.
My voice was cut off as my throat went dry with emotion.
Tears stung at my eyes. My parents practically forced me to join the Death Eaters... I looked at the burned in mark on my arm.
All of a sudden, Snape took my hands into his, caressing his thumbs carefully against them.
A blush spread across my face along with surprise.
"You don't want to do this, Y/n. It's highly dangerous being part of this group, especially when you befriend a Muggle... But there's nothing you can do." He said, seeming to straighten himself up at the 'muggle' part. I shook my head lightly.
"I wish I could just go back in time and fix this..."
A tear rolled down my cheek as I spoke. I brought my hand up to wipe it away, but I stopped as Snape wiped my cheek with his thumb gently.
My heart fluttered.
I smile spread onto my face, eventually pushing Snape to return with a small smile at his lips, too.
Snape was smiling. I never thought that I'd live to see the day when Snape would smile.
I looked back at the moon, feeling something that I've never felt intensely before.
It felt as if a thousand butterflies were flittering about in my stomach, as if trapped in a cage. I bit the bottom of my lip as a jumpy feeling hit my heart.
Amidst all of this, Snape sighed, stepping back.
"I suppose it's getting late, and I have-"
As if someone put me under the imperius curse at that moment, I did the first thing that came to mind.
I quickly crashed into Snape, planting my lips onto his. I was on my tip toes as I did so, nearly knocking him back in surprise. It was quick as Snape pulled me away from him.
He was silent.
I was silent.
We stared at each other for what felt like hours.
I kissed him. I finally did it. My so called 'dream' came true.
But I felt dirty. And stupid. I kissed my professor. And not to mention, a guy who's way more older than me.
I struggled to find my words as Snape stared at me. I quickly pried my eyes off of him as a sensation of burning tears stung at my eyes again.
"- I need to go."
I quickly ran off, stumbling now and then from the heels and the dress getting caught underneath.
I ran until I couldn't, stopping at the dorm door. I swung it open to see the girls asleep. Thank god that half of the girls were heavy sleepers and almost would never wake up from a minor bump in the night.
Sonata was sat on my bed, staring at me.
Like a waterfall, the pent up tears started to stream down my face. They didn't stop, and I didn't dare to make them. I fell onto my bed, burying my face into my pillow.
I
started to sob quietly.
My life was falling apart.
I became a Death Eater out of will.
I met Voldemort. He kissed my hand.
I kissed my professor.
I don't know what to do anymore. I felt numb.
I might as well stay in bed all day before I feel again.
That sounded good to me.