"Who's your Alpha?" Cain whispers into my ear, crushing me under the weight of his body as I'm pinned on my stomach. He places kisses along my neck, until he reaches his mark.
He teasingly grazes his canines along the mark, and chuckles lowly when goosebumps line my skin. "So easily excited, aren't you, pup?"
I moan softly, leaning into his touch, and I can tell that I have him wrapped around my finger.
His canines barely break through my skin when I hook my leg around his, and use all of my strength to flip us so that he's underneath me. He knows I caught him off guard, and I roughly pin down his arms until he's immobile. I smirk, allowing my canines to descend as I press my lips on my mark. "Who's your Alpha," I mockingly say, and he growls as I sink my teeth deep into him, none too gently.
I allow him to flip us so I'm on my back. "Cruel, beautiful mate," He says, his voice guttural. "You're lucky we have an appointment with the pack doctor to get to, otherwise you would be on your back for the rest of the day."
I grin wickedly. "Are you sure we can't reschedule?"
Cain growls, nipping at my ear before getting off of me, pulling me into his arms and cradling me to his chest as he does so. "This is our third time rescheduling. You're stalling."
I sigh, and his arms tighten around me as we leave the training center. "I'm just nervous. What if he says I'm not?"
Cain looks at me, and does a terrible job of masking his concern. "Then you're not, and we keep trying."
I nod, trying to quell my anxieties. For the past month, we had been trying to conceive, and for the last few days, I've been waking up nauseated. We scheduled an appointment with the pack doctor to see if I was with pup, and I couldn't tell if Cain or I was more nervous.
He told me that the nausea could be anything, and not to get my hopes up, but his words fell on deaf ears. Now that I was fully healed, there should be no reason why I wouldn't have gotten pregnant from our constant mating. Alphas never had problems conceiving with their mate, and now that the damage from the wolfsbane was gone, we should be no different from every other couple.
At least, that's what I hoped.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
"I'm sorry, Luna," The pack doctor, Gabriel, mumbled when the ultrasound turned up nothing.
I nodded numbly, blinking back tears from the hospital table where I was laying. Cain squeezed my shoulder, but nothing he could do would comfort me.
"I... I don't get it," I whispered. "Is there something wrong with my womb?"
Gabriel winced. "No- at least the tests showed no visible damage. Everything seems like it is working properly."
Cain clutched my shaking hand. "This doesn't mean you're infertile, Ares. We've only been trying for a month, there's still plenty of time."
"A month is plenty of time. Alphas have no trouble conceiving," I spit out. Cain had also had tests run, which showed no problems on his end, either, which meant it had to be my fault.
"These things can take time, Luna," Gabriel said softly. "It's a good sign that there's no internal scarring. There's always a chance-"
I scoff. If it was going to happen, it would have by now. "Thank you, Gabriel," Cain interjects before venomous words pour from my mouth. "We'll show ourselves out."
Gabriel nods, quickly leaving, and I can see his body relax at the dismissal. Most doctor's visits ended with me destroying half of the equipment.
Cain uses a warm, damp towel to wipe the ultrasound gel off of my stomach. I'm suddenly overtaken with nausea, and Cain senses it, handing me a bin. I lean over the side of the bed, hurling into the can for a few minutes.
Cain holds my hair as I throw up, and uses his other hand to rub my back soothingly. "I just don't get it," I whisper when I'm finally done vomiting. "I thought the nausea... I mean... We..."
"I know, pup," Cain says softly. "I know. I think you... You need to take it easy for awhile, okay? You're so stressed you're making yourself sick."
Cain pulls me into his arms, carrying us out of the office before I can fly into a blind rage. "I can have Axel handle some of my duties for the next few days, we can stay in the pack house together. Spend some time together, no training, no pack stuff."
"No," I say, struggling in his arms. "Being cooped up in the house all day is the last thing I need right now. Actually, I think a trip into the woods would be more than beneficial."
Cain sighs as he continues walking us, and I know we're about to fight because he clutches me tighter to his body so I can't escape. "You're not allowed to go into the woods off of the territory anymore, Ares. I won't continue to fight you on this."
"If you're not going to fight me on it, does that mean I'm allowed to?" I ask innocently.
Cain scoffs. "I'm not fighting you on it because you're not going, end of discussion."
"You didn't care a month ago," I argue.
"A month ago, I didn't know a rogue had tried to kill you twice," Cain growls. "I never should have let you into the uncharted territories, guarded or not. It's not safe."
I'm about to continue to argue when Cain keeps going. "I know you think I'm just restricting you to be an asshole, but it's because I love you. Things are not the same as they were a month ago, and you know it."
I did indeed. After the whole incident at Blue Moon, Cain had been hovering nonstop. He felt just as unnerved as I did that someone who tried to kill me was still alive, whether he was imprisoned by Thane or not.
"Do you think Thane released him?" I ask quietly. The Thane and Onyx issue was a sensitive subject, one we tried to avoid because the mention of Thane alone was almost enough to make Cain angry enough to shift.
Cain growled, "He better not have. I hope he came to his senses and just killed the damn thing."
I don't need to ask him if he's spoken to Thane, I know for a fact that he would not back down from this issue. Packs had gone to war over far less. I had no doubt that the only reason Cain hadn't waged a war against Thane was because of their past.
"If Onyx wants him released, Thane would release him," I point out, the realization causing anxiety to trickle through my bones. With a Gift like invisibility, the rogue could be anywhere, at any time, ready to plunge another wolfsbane dagger into my heart. I was sure if he got another opportunity, he would make sure not to miss my heart.
"Onyx is an errant child," Cain hissed. "Thane knew by saving the rogue, he risked a war, potentially putting his entire pack in danger, all for one measly little rogue. If I find out that he released the rogue from his prison, we will go to war."
We reached the pack house, and Cain merely nodded at some of the wolves who were hanging around in the common area. Knowing I was in no mood to socialize, he immediately took us to our bedroom, and begun running a bath for me.
Once the tub was filled, he gently placed me in the water, and begun to shampoo my hair.
The Onyx issue was still on my mind as his hands gently worked the soap through my locks. "Gwen thinks we're being too harsh," I mumble, closing my eyes, enjoying my mate taking care of me.
"Then Gwen is a fool," Cain stated. "No Alpha would let someone who tried to kill their mate live."
"I killed his mate," I whisper. I didn't feel bad necessarily, I was merely acknowledging my own role in the conflict. "If someone killed me, you would have hunted them down and done the same."
Cain was silent. I wasn't wrong. "I have a lot of enemies. It was bound to catch up to me eventually."
Cain growled. "No one will harm you. But this is why you will stay out of the woods until further notice."
"But-" I start to say, but Cain isn't finished.
"But nothing. I almost lost you because I was too blinded by familial obligation to Thane. You never should have been in Blue Moon territory to begin with. I almost lost you because of my leniency. I won't make that mistake again," Cain rinses the soap from my hair. "What would happen if a rogue were to stab your stomach? You say that you want a pup, but you're putting yourself in unnecessary danger, danger that risks your health, and potentially our future. And for what? So you can kill a rogue? It's not worth it, Ares. Drop it. You're not leaving Blood Lake territory for a long time."
His words leave no room for argument. As we laid down to go to sleep that night, all I could think about was how he didn't understand me, didn't understand that I need to kill. Thane's words enveloped me as I drifted off to sleep.
We all have our demons. You and I just exorcise ours similarly.