UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATEEEEEE! I'M SO EXCITED BECAUSE IT'S BEEN SO LONGGGGGGG. FUCK I HATE EXAMSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS BUT I'M FREE NOW, UNTIL SEPTEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For those who don't follow my profile or Instagram, I didn't update because I was focusing on my exams and also needed a break from writing. Things weren't flowing and I didn't want to ruin my books forcing it, so I waited.
Thanks to everyone who was patient and supportive! I'm so happy to be writing again!!!!!!
Special thanks to @rnouel0283 and @notaprincess_molly for finding me the name of the Wolf Afterlife I was looking for - it turned out I have two lol. Trust me to not know the names of my own shit and making up another.
Anyway, enjoy the chapter and stay safe!!!
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Theo's P.O.V
Tightening my hold on William's foot just a little, I dip the nail polish brush into the tiny bottle and carefully wipe off the excess before running it down the length of the nail on Will's big toe.
"You are taking this way too seriously Theo," Will says with a chuckle making me glance up for a split second before I refocus to the task at hand.
William took care of himself in every way he could and I didn't want to somehow do something wrong in this aspect of his self-care routine. I'd offered, no - truthfully, I'd begged to do this for him, to take care of him in this minuscule way and I wanted him to feel loved, cared for.
I wanted him to know I cared about him in all things.
"I just don't want to mess it up for you," I faintly reply, trying mentally not to acknowledge the way my face was heating up at the slight admission to the near-overwhelming emotions that were crashing through me.
William laughs a little, the sound sweet and comforting and perfectly paired with a bright smile that was all his. The rich blend in the hands of my mate has my heart squeezing down on itself in response.
Perfectly unaware of how he bewitched me with his smile alone, Will adjusts my own foot that rested in his lap for a firmer grip so he could file down the nails into that perfect curve that his nails always had.
"It's okay if you do," William assures me, his tone loving and gentle as always. "Plus, it's clear nail polish so it's really not a big deal."
"Okay," I reply unsurely, his words were valid and fair but I still wanted to get this right.
Today was one of William's and my's special days.
I suppose special wasn't a fitting word, it wasn't as if we did anything that managed to embody the definition of special, but to me, that's exactly what these days were. Will and I spent countless hours together doing whatever took our interest; whether that was taking a walk, sharing our greatest interests or painting each other nails, the activities didn't matter since they were always enjoyable, it was the time we spent with one another.
To time to learn more parts of the other, parts to cherish and hold dear, everything Will showed with me, shared with me, received a special space in my heart that glowed gently through the darkest of hours.
He was like a beacon neither Damon nor I couldn't help from following, and that was okay because there wasn't a part to us that wanted to.
On these special days, Will tried his best to learn more about me which proved to be a common complication when that was exactly what I wanted to do with him. But Will somehow managed to get his ways more times than not, it was so hard to deny him anything he asked for when he so often asked for none.
But that's exactly why I wanted to learn more about him. Will was always there for Damon, in ways I never could that left us eternally grateful and at the same time, he tried so desperately to be there for me. But my precious mate was only one human with only so much to give, he needed someone to be there for him too and I so desperately wanted to provide that for him.
A place of refuge, his oasis from the metal storms I knew to be brewing inside of him constantly, even when he tried so bravely to face it's crushing winds.
"Are you enjoying this?" I ask Will when I catch an easy smile lingering on his lips while his eyes focused solely on my toes.
"I am," He replies immediately, he glances up at me hesitantly exposing a sudden jolt of nerves that were weighing down his smile. "Maybe a little too much, is that weird?"
"I don't think it is," I reply honestly, offering him my own smile. "I think it's nice, this is nice. I never envisioned myself painting my mate's nails while they painted my own, but I'm more than happy with this outcome. It's fun and relaxing."
"Really?" He asks on behalf of the fruitless doubts in his mind, the ones that so cruelly plagued his thoughts.
"If I didn't enjoy it, I would tell you," I assure him, "I'm not one to stew quietly in things that don't bring me enjoyment. This does William, doing this for you and with you, it brings me joy."
Will ducks his head shyly, wishing away the image of a newly forming blush and grin that was taking over his features as he hides behind his fallen hair. "You have a way with words that I find very unsportsmanlike Theo, it makes it hard to think." Will accuses under his breath making me chuckle with amusement.
"I apologise for my unconscious use of foul play, I'll try not to do it again," I reply teasingly and Will snorts in response.
"But I'm happy you don't find it weird," Will adds quietly after a brief interlude of silence passes between us, "and I'm glad that you're enjoying it too. I always thought if I did this in front of other people that they'd have something negative to say about it," Will admits begrudgingly, "It's nice that you don't and honestly, it made me really happy when you offered to do it earlier... it's something I didn't even know I wanted to do with my partner in the future."
Will's open words split open my heart and steal the air from my lungs, the weight of them all-encompassing in the best way and so damn rewarding since William wasn't the type to be so vocal about his own wants and needs.
It made my soul ache to find more of these moments with him, to provide more opportunities for my precious human to feel comfortable and loved enough to splay himself openly in this manner with me. I knew he did it with Damon on occasion and Damon was an extension of me as I was him, but it felt admittedly more rewarding to have him share himself with me personally.
It made me feel loved to know that he did.
"Anything you want, I will give it to you," I promise as I focus my gaze on him. "I imagine there is very little I could deny you of William, so please don't be afraid to ask for it, with me or with Damon."
Will smiles and nods in agreement, his eyes slightly glossy, "Okay."
I'd asked Will to this for him, not expecting him to request the same of me but I'd been more than happy to agree once I caught the hopeful look in his eyes. Though, I really hadn't thought when I said yes that it would mean quite as much to him as it obviously did.
Any complaints Damon would have when he took back control to find carefully manicured nails would have to be filed in the ignore pile and if he dares to attempt removing it, he'd have my wrath to face.
The quiet of unspoken words fall over us once again but neither of us bothers to breach it. Silence never upset me, in fact, I often found it comforting because it was an open plain for an active imagination. Damon could never understand or relate to my feelings regarding the quiet, since had a habit of hosting the battlegrounds for a tormenting war of emotions he had no control over.
I think Will's experience was more of a mix between the two; some silence could be comforting whereas too much of it would let his thoughts wander far enough that his hands tremored secretly under its gruelling bulk.
Unable to bear the force of it for another second, Will asks with a grin filled with mischievous intent, "Would it be pushing it too far to paint your nails pink?"
"Damon would lose his mind," I reply and Will's smile only grows in contemplation. "Any other time, I'd say yes but as we're approaching our first heat, it wouldn't be wise to anger him since he won't have full control over his emotions."
Will's shoulders fall with disappointment but he nods his understanding and returning his attention to my nails, "The more I hear about this heat, the less fun it sounds."
"Well, that's because it rarely is," I reply honestly, not one to stray from the truth, "but I have faith in Damon's control."
Will nods again, more surely this time, because if there was one thing that Damon was growing an abundance of, it was control.
Still, the change of topics effectively soured my mood in under three seconds. Heats weren't a matter I found entirely appealing, for obvious reasons, and I doubted any who experienced it felt any copious amount of love for it.
They were erratic and unpredictably for some mates, as well as straining and consuming.
I'd always dreaded the thought of heats. A messy, frantic act that was said to be more untamed than the usual coupling and that thought didn't excite me in any manner. I was never fond of sexual activities of any variation, but the thought that my instincts and genetical composition would change that part of me was frankly disturbing.
Somehow finding favour in Goddess' heart was always my hope for a way out of one, but here we were with one fast approaching with no apparent means of redirecting its course.
Well, there was one, but Damon had been quite adamant about not having his first time with our mate under the influence of the lust the heat brought about and though I agreed, I also didn't. It was much more troublesome to delay it than to just get it over with, but the pup wanted his first coupling with William to be a special one.
Damon was always a true romantic at heart.
So with Damon's reluctance to mate Will while under the growing influence of the heat, that left only a few options; locking Damon up away from Will or trusting that he would be able to control himself. Both options were less than idle especially when we didn't know who the heat would affect most - Will, Damon, both of them or Goddess forbid, me.
Every option or alternative presented a less than favourable path.
"It'll be okay," Will promises if sensing my chain of worries. "It's not guaranteed and I could be wrong, which I hope I'm not, but I just have a feeling that it'll be okay."
"William Evans...i-is that...... optimism you're wearing today?" I question with nothing but mock horror on my face as I set down the nail polish, finally all done.
"I believe it is," He replies while feigning shock, adding a light hand to his chest to add to the ridiculousness of it all. "I usually prefer a cozy, pessimistic sweater but I think with spring approaching I'll have to wear something new. Does it look good on me?" He asks succeeding to sound truly self-conscious despite the stream of laughter escaping his grinning lips.
"It is undeniably ravishing on you William," I somehow manage before we both give in to the laughter in our souls and lay back on own sides of the couch to let it out.
Will's body positively vibrates with the easy joy that spilt from him to match my own expressions of happiness. We both curl with laughter as best as we can in the confines of the small couch that had to handle the sudden responsibility of nurturing our chorus of snorts and giggles that our shaking bodies produced.
It takes several, deep breathes for me to get some semblance of control over myself, enough to open my eyes and wipe away the tears that had escaped. Once I do, I find Sassy and Blaze staring at us with equal looks of confusion and annoyance.
"I think we were too loud for their liking," I say to Will who just caught sight of his best friend and arch-nemesis.
"I'm sorry, I forgot you guys pay the bills," Will says sarcastically as he sits up as opens his legs for Sassy to jump up onto him.
Will immediately pours all his love and attention into rubbing all of Sassy's weak spots while cooing his adoration for her from his endless supply that lay within. Sassy rolls over, tongue lolling out her mouth happily while Will struggled to keep her large body from falling over.
Sassy was approaching a year old in a month or two and her body showed that, she was much larger than when we'd first found William. A far stretch from the puppy that had angrily tipped and barked at Damon every step of the way when he carried Will home.
When her eyes found me, there was still displeasure there but far less than what she usually held for the likes of Damon so I personally saw it as a win. She'd gotten quite the representation in the pack and often wandered on her own now. Entirely mindless to the fact that the only reason she was treated like royalty by all that came across her was because Damon had explicitly informed the pack that not a single hair on her head was to be out of place when she returned to the suite.
I look down at Blaze, bending down and opening my hands to offer him my usual invitation, and like always, he ignored it and just stared at me blankly as if demanding his Damon back. I'd usually leave him to his tantrums, but I'd learned that Blaze was a smart little thing and this was his form of negotiating.
I lift the end of my shirt in gesture and Blaze immediately comes hopping over, I pick him up and settle him in my lap, helping the fabric into his mouth like a baby to a milk bottle. He takes it and chews rhythmically, ears twitching with pleasure every time I scratched at one of his favoured points.
"Why doesn't Blaze poo everywhere?" Will asks making my lift my eyes to find him and Sassy already studying me. "I swear rabbits like shit everywhere. I asked Damon about it and he said it was you who trained him, but I can't see someone like Blaze being trained."
"You can train rabbits but all attempts with this guy were unsuccessful," I admit begrudgingly as I remember the pure hell Blaze put me through when he realised what I was trying to achieve. "But he's a smart guy with one blatant weakness," I say gesturing to where he was still nomming on my shirt. "I struck a deal with him. I'd leave a shirt for his pleasure once he didn't destroy it and he'd shit where I told him."
"No way!" Will exclaims with blatant disbelief as he shakes his head adamantly. "There is no way he's that smart to consciously make a deal."
"Well firstly, he's not," I say which makes Blaze's interest in my clothes deteriorate instantly as he looks up at me as if daring me to say that again. "At least not in the way humans understand intelligence and a state of consciousness."
Seemingly content with that answer, for now, Blaze redirects his attention to my shirt with a bit more vigour this time.
"Okay so, humans like to believe that they are extraordinarily intelligent in comparison to the other animals they've encountered on this planet," I start and Will nods a little in agreement. "Bu a lot of that, from what I've seen, is because of the way they perceive communication. Many people disregard animals for being conscious with personality traits simply because they do not communicate as humans do. Which is extremely biased because animals do communicate, just in different forms and mannerisms."
"Well I know that much," Will agrees quickly, "I've seen one too many planet earth documentaries at three am and I know that some animals like lions and bees work together really well and others are super compassionate."
"I've experienced the state of consciousness of a wolf while in Goddess' Resplendent Plains and it goes much deeper than human knowledge suggests," I continue, allowing my interest in the area to take over into effective rambling. "It's not the same for all animals, in fact, we all run on different wavelengths that allow us to communicate with others in our species. We can mimic them with other species or try to teach our own but it'll never be the same.
With Blaze I've just tapped into his wavelength, that lets me communicate with him, or rather, let's him understand what I'm communicating to him." I say with a small frown as I repeat my own words in my head to make sure they made sense. "It's what Damon and I do with all other animals, as for why they listen to us, I'm not sure but they have that ability because they understand us for some reason."
Will makes a small noise of understanding as his eyebrows meet in a frown, his tell-tale sign that he was thinking matters over seriously and trying to make it all make sense in his mind.
"I still find it hard to believe that you and Damon are a male Snow White," Will says honestly which makes me choke on nothing with amusement. If Damon heard that one, he'd never let Will see how he was with the animals in the woods. "But I don't think you're lying and with all that I've learned these past few months about this hidden, supernatural world, it'd be foolish for me to deny it."
"The supernatural world isn't hidden," I defend a little more adamantly than I'd intended. "It's much bigger than humans and werewolves, there are many other realms that feature many other worlds and species. Just because they don't share their existence with the human world, doesn't mean they're hiding."
"So the humans don't reach the supernatural club's quota?"
"A liability is how the Supernatural Board describes it," I offer with a weak smile. "But I love you very much, despite your species."
"You're too sweet for your own good Theodore," Will says, shaking his head fondly before he shifts himself so that he's settled between my legs and hugging me. "From my experience with humans, I really can't blame any of you for that perspective."
Those sad, haunting words speedily weave themselves around the two of us making the light atmosphere morph in favour of William's dark past. I stagger on the appropriate response for a moment, stuck between wanting to follow this rare thread to the history of Will and letting him live blissfully away from it.
We'd been careful so far, so very careful on how we handled Will and the pieces of him he was so blatantly hiding away from us. I knew he was trying and I knew that whatever had happened to Will before we met him, was linked to his visual impairment but it was becoming harder and harder not to push for more.
I wanted to know what had happened to my mate, who or what hurt him and what terrors he'd faced that made him feel so alone that he'd run away to a town he didn't know. A town filled with people he didn't know which was an unthinkable action for the Will we'd first met all those months ago. The Will who was terrified all the time, so cautious in every action and painfully distant from everything and everyone.
Whatever it was that drove him away, it must've been truly horrific.
I wanted to help him, heal those wounds of trauma that ran so deep that none who glimpsed them could ignore, but I couldn't find a place to start with no start, beginning or end. I needed to know something, anything to help him cross this perilous bridge that was his past.
"You seem to hate humans almost as much as Damon does," I finally say, being sure to keep my tone light and carefree as to not make him feel caged.
Will stays quiet for a long time, not moving in any manner aside from the steady pumping of his heart and the rhymic movement of his fingers, running up and down my arm in a soothing motion I hoped quelled him.
"I don't hate all humans," Will says quietly, his eyes distant like his words. "I know they're good ones out there, like Blue and Francis....they're good. But it seems the bad ones seem to fall in my path more often than the good."
I don't say anything, despite all the comforts and questions that plagued my mind to release, I don't say a thing. They all seemed inadequate and wrong, like they'd do more harm than good so I say quiet and wait for Will to continue.
"People like to hurt people," He says on a sigh that seems to come so easy that it's painful. "I'm sure it's not only humans, I bet people of all types do the same - hurt. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally... people do it differently but it's all the same when it's said and done, or at least that's what it feels like."
Scratching at my chest, feeling the raw burn of William's pain, Damon tries to push forward with a whine of pain, the need to comfort prevalent. I push him back, hoping he'd trust that we were okay and that I had this, I had Will.
But the pain it caused to hear Will speak like this, like a man who'd seen the worst of life at such a young age, burned through me as well. Turning my insides out with the need to rid the world with everything that would hurt him and had before, a flicker of rage slowly growing with the threat of becoming insurmountable.
"Who... who hurt you, William?" I ask gently, my voice barely a whisper.
Will lifts his head from his chest and rests his chin on my chest so that our gazes collided amongst the sadness. Those aquatic eyes were filled with nothing but agony and pain that made me hold him tighter, the need to howl for the misery twisting his features growing larger and larger.
And yet Will wore a smile. A sad, broken smile that was small and barely hanging on, one I knew he was forcing himself to carry. Because if he didn't, his lips would wobble and the unshed tears in his eyes would fall.
I rub my thumb across his cheek gently, wanting to brush even just little bit of his pain away, but I couldn't. A helpless whine leaves me as I hold him close and Will shuts his eyes.
"For my eyes," Will manages, each word more twisted and choked that the one before. Uncertain as well, as if he wasn't sure exactly which of all his hurts I meant. "I-I don't know who t-they were."
Will takes a deep, shaky breath.
"It could've been strangers, f-friends....family," He says as he releases it, his features twisting with fear as he holds me tighter, his fingers wrapping around my wrist almost painfully. "I don't know who did it... b-but I-I know who sent them."
Will's tears were following freely now, his lips trembled terribly as he tried to get the words out through all the pain and memories that were threatening to drown him completely.
Damon claws desperately at the surface, trying to push himself forth enough to know what was going but I hold him back, I'd tell him after but I had to focus on Will now.
I wrap him up in my arms so that he knew I had him, knew that he was safe and loved and cherished and that if he was going to sink, that he wouldn't do it alone.
"L-L-Liam was my b-best friend," He says on a crumpled sob, his fingers digging into any part of me he could in a scrambled attempt to anchor himself. "My best friend," He repeats as though he couldn't believe his reality to be true.
Will tries to speak, to say more, but the words don't escape him as his body trembles within my grasp. It was like his vocal cords were silenced from that acknowledgement of the past, leaving him completely overrun by the misery he was reliving.
I cover as much of him as I can with myself, wanting him to feel that he was safe, and I whisper words of love that seemed to both calm him and hurt him.
I don't make promises, knowing deep down that if I did that right now, it'd hurt him even more.
So I hold him and I love him in every form that I can, hating that he was in pain and that I'd brought it forth. But I didn't regret doing it, it would hurt and it was hard, but it would be worse to leave it alone and bury it away beneath the surface.
Damon and I had experienced first hand exactly what that could lead too and I didn't want Will to feel any more pain than he already had in his lifetime.
Will cries for a long time, his harsh, heavier sobs breaking away into softer, frail ones, but the tears never stop completely. He holds onto me with a deadly grip, making sure that there wasn't any space between us and I let him for as long as he needs.
"One day William, it'll be better," I say gently when the sun begins to fall and suite crowded in by shadows. "It'll get better one day. It may not be for a long time, but one day, it will be better."
Will nods his head a little against my chest and I press a kiss to it to seal my silent prayer to Goddess to make it just so... because William deserved better.
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Well um.... that took a heavy turn.
Thoughts?????
I did not see it going that way at all. Honestly, did not. I started writing this thinking it'd be a cute little extra and then BAM! Will's crying and I'm not sure why my brain is the way it is.
I'm sorry the first chapter back ended on a sad note but I'm not mad with the events of things and I'm happy that Will opened up with Theo cause it shows how he trusts him as well and the depth of their relationship - but that's just me.
Vote and comment if you enjoyed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know when or what I'll be updating next, but I'm just going with the flow of things and not pressuring myself. But don't worry, exams are all done so I won't be taking a long break again.
Also, I know that the current climate of the world is a dark one and that that can be very scary, but I hope you all know it's important to experience the scary days. The protests around the world are an effect of longterm pain for many people globally and with the state of the world with corona, people are trying to let their voices be heard.
Everyone has a part to play - educate yourself, open conversations and take action where you can.
I hope my updates can be a bit of a relief from what's happening in the world. I believe we all have a part to play where we can, and I'm doing that very actively in my personal life and for my writing one, I'll be providing some relief for people to escape a bit. I hope that doesn't sound too pretentious, I just want to show my humans some love.
Enough RAMBLING TIPPY!!!!
Until next time,
Byeeeeeeeeeee Humanssssss and Potato - I love you guys.