Wedding Fever
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Why do we have to get all dress up for this stupid rehearsal dinner?" Fez asked as he pulled on his blazer
"Cause my mom said so," Lana said.
"And we don't argue with mommy," Hyde sighed as Lana helped him with his tie.
"Okay,so Jackie hasn't made me read a single Brides magazine. I'm telling you, man eva since I set her house on fire she's been acting really weird.
"Really how strange" Lana said in fake shock, as she went to help Fez with his outfit.
"Hey, I've been trying to get in good with Donna, you know what works for me?" Eric asked," I don't set her house on fire"
"Sure Hindsight's 20/20"
"Here, loser mom wants you to put this on," Laurie grumbled coming into the basement and handing Eric a tie.
"Hey, Laurie," Kelso said meekly as he tied his tie
Laurie turned around, "Where have you been, you idiot?"
"Oh, well Jackie was..."
"I told you never to say that name to me! We have a relationship!" Laurie yelled with a crazy look in her eyes.
"See, thats true so..."Kelso stuttered
"Shut up!" Laurie said walking out of the basement.
Lana release a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. She smoothed out her dress. It was a pale pink short dress, with sliver details on it, with the necklace Hyde got her. Her hair was straight and down.
"You're an ass, Kelso"
"Me? Why? he questioned
"You're sleeping around with my sister and cheating on my best-friend!" Lana yelled before walking out of the basement.
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Lana was talking to Jackie before the wedding start. Micheal came over and Lana quickly left, not wanting to be in the middle of the conversation.
"Isn't this beautiful" Fez said looking around at the flouncy tacky decorations
"Its crap" Lana said
"Marriage is a sham, Man! Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Hyde said
"Because you love the cow" Lana said," Marriage isn't a sham. The sham is that they are only doing this, thinking it's going to solve all the problems in their marriage, but it won't. And they won't just hurt each other, it's going to hurt Donna too"
"Wow Lana you're sure the life of the party" Hyde said nudging her shoulder.
"Shut up," She said with a small smile," the ceremony is about to begin" she said getting up and moving to a sit in the aisle, Hyde got up with her and sat down next to her.
Soft music began playing and everyone turn to watch the bridesmaids walking down. Kitty walked out in place of the maid of honor, Lana was happy to see her mom live her bridesmaid dreams.
"I'm a bridesmaid" Kitty said to Lana as she walked down. Lana smiled, nodding her head 'yes'. Midge walked down the aisle and everyone sat back down in their seats.
"First of all, Midge and I would like to thank everyone for coming. The vows we are exchanging were written by our daughter, Donna, whom we love very much." Bob said.
Bob and Midge turned to look at each other as Bob read his vows, "Midgie, I consider it a privilege to be your husband. Donna, I actually feel that way!" Bob said excitedly.
"Bob, I'm proud and very grateful to be your wife," Midge read
"we've known each other since we were practically kids"
"So we know all the good stuff..."
"And the not so good stuff"
Lana could feel eyes Hyde looking at her during the vows. She tried her hardest not to look up at him, but she couldn't help it. She quickly looked up and looked back at Bob and Midge.
"I can't imagine feeling about anyone else the way I feel about you" Midge said.
Hyde grazed his finger along the back of Lana's hand, they slowly intertwine their hands. Lana slowly looked up at Hyde, who was still staring at her.
"Because I love you. I always love you. And I want to make you a promise," Bob said with tears in his eyes.
"No matter what happens..." Midge sniffled
"Good or bad,"
"I will always love you," Midge finished the vows, Bob leaned in and sealed the vows with a kiss.
Lana was snapped back into reality by the people applauding. She pulled her hand away from Steven's and started clapping with eyeing else. 'What the hell' Lana thought in her head.
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Lana was siting next to Hyde, she was leaning her head on her arm, waiting for something interesting to happen. Jackie and Kelso were off 'making up' and Donna and Eric left a while ago.
"Want a sip?" Hyde said passing his cup to Lana.
she took a big sip, immediately grimacing at the taste and swallowed it as fast as she could," What the hell is that?" she asked
"Everything," he shrugged taking a sip.
"Ew! I'm going to fine something to drink" Lana said wiping her mouth, getting and walking over to Jackie. Donna's uncle kept trying to touch their butts and Lana was super close to kicking his ass.
Donna came in there the door and went over to the girls, she was very fluttered but she was trying to play it off cool.
"Donna, one of your drunken uncles is touching us," Jackie complained
Donna turned around and Jackie gasped," oh my God"
Lana looked up and spit out her drink," No!". She could tell by Donna's face that her and Eric had sex.
"We need to talk right now!" Jackie said dragging the girls out of the room.
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Jackie dragged the girls to the Forman's front porch. Lana was trying to be supportive but the whole thing made her want to throw up.
"All right, tell me everything," Jackie said
"Definitely not everything," Lana said
"it feels weird to talk about, "Donna tried to explain
"Donna, you're my best friend," Lana said," It's going to be nasty to hear but I love you so spill it"
"Okay then... what'd it look like?" Jackie asked
"No! You're skipping that one," Lana said," So how was it?"
"I don't really want to talk about it," Donna quietly.
"Oh that bad?" Jackie asked sympathetically.
"No! No, no it was great. Just wasn't what I expected," Donna said dissatisfied," I don't think we did it right."
"So Eric's not good?" Jackie asked
"It was more like neither of us was good"
"Donna, it's not up to the woman to be good," jackie said
Lana rolled her eyes," Donna you were good, Eric had that stupid smirk on his face"
"I don't know guys, I love Eric but when the moment came, it was just like awkward and weird. I don't know, I just felt so far away, you know?" Donna explained
"No, but go on," Jackie said.
Lana wanted to help Donna, but she was a virgin. She didn't know what to say, all see could think about was she was the last virgin of the group. Other than Fez of course.
"As it was happening I just kept thinking, This is it. This is what everyone..."
"Everyone what?" Lana asked
"I don't know, I didn't get that far," Donna said
"Oh, see that's the problem," Jackie said
"That's not the problem," Donna defended
"Donna I'm still a virgin, and trust me that's a problem" Lana said patting Donna's knee.
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Lana walked down into the basement, still laughing about how her brother sucks in bed. Hyde, Eric and Fez turned to look at her confused.
"Are you drunk?" Hyde asked
"Nope!" Lana said happily," just heard something really funny. Ohh Scooby-doo!"
Lana walked over to sit in Hyde's lap, "What's so funny?" he asked
"Ask Eric" Lana whispered looking over at her clueless brother
"Forman, what the hell are you grinning about?" Hyde looked at Eric.
"What?" Eric asked with a arrogant tone," A guy can't grin?"
"I think, maybe, Forman and Donna finally made the beasts with two backs," Hyde smirked
"Eww," Lana cringed," why'd you worded it like that"
"The backosaurus?" Fez asked concerned
Lana just shook her head,"Fezzie no"
"So?" Hyde asked, holding Lana tighter.
Eric leaned forward," Well, Hyde, I'm not saying yes, and I'm not saying no,but I'm especially not saying no"
Hyde sighed in relief," Thank God man, I'm telling you I couldn't deal with one more week of that Will they? Won't they? Crap?"
"Oh just wait," Lana whisper to Hyde. Kelso came rushing through the door.
"Hey! What's going on?" He asked grinning.
"Donna made Forman a man," Hyde explained
"More like a masculine women," Lana teased.
Eric chuckled," Yeah she did"
"Really?" Kelso asked smiling," So how was it?"
"Well, boys... and girl," Eric quickly added, "i'll tell, you, in that one magic moment, the two people Donna and Eric ceased to exist and were replaced instead by one perfect being. Donric Formicotti!"
Lana just shook her head at her poor dorky brother," All of that in two minutes?"
"What?" Eric asked confused at how she knew that.
"So Eric, you're saying it was good?" Kelso baited Eric
Eric chuckled," Kelso, was Michelangelo's Creation of Adam good?"
Kelso stood there, unsure for a moment, Lana turned to Kelso," The answer is yes"
"Yes, Kelso it was good!" Eric yelled
Kelso nodded," See well my first time, Jackie called me the Apollo Rocket of Love. What kind of ticket were you?"
Hyde looked at Lana to confirm the story, "Sadly it's true, but there's more to the story" she whispered to him.
"Where are you going with this Kelso?" Eric asked
Kelso smirked, "Nowhere. Except Jackie said you were totally lame in the sack!"
"Jackie said?" Eric yelled looking at Lana
"It's true!" Lana yelled out laughing," And thank you for making my entire year"
"Yeah, Donna told them and Jackie told me," Kelso laughed," Oh! But you can't tell Jackie I told you 'cause she'd be pissed"
"It's okay Eric," Fez tried to comfort him," Maybe sex isn't your thing"
"What is his thing?" Lana asked in a teasing tone
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Lana was in the basement with the guys, smoking in the circle while trying to help Eric with his situation.
Lana was cuddled up next to Hyde, "Forman, I've been thinking about your situation with Donna," Hyde said," and it still makes me laugh." he chuckled
"Hey! You leave Eric alone, all right? He's our friend and he needs our help in this most desperate hour," Kelso defends
Lana just shook her head," You're just saying that cause you were bad in bed too"
"Hey!" Kelso yelled
" you're just upset cause your Apollo Rocket of Love blew up all over the launch pad" Lana laughed
"If god had intended for virgins to lose it to other virgins, he wouldn't have given us middle aged hookers, Man!" Hyde exclaimed
"I don't like middle age hooker talks I'ma out of here," Lana laughed," But Eric serious just talk to Donna about it," she said before walking out of the basement.
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Lana and Hyde were making out in her bedroom. Lana pulled away from the kiss and Hyde started to kiss down her neck.
"Can I ask you a question?" She asked nervously.
"What is it?" He mumbled against her skin.
"What was it like... your first time?" she asked?
Hyde pulled away from kissing her and looked at her," what do you want to know?"
She shrugged," How old were you?"
"Like fourteen? Fifteen?" he shrugged
"What was it like?" She asked
"Okay, nothing special I guess," he shrugged it off as he went back to kissing her.
She pulled away again, "Is it weird I haven't done it yet?"
Hyde just let out a small chuckle, "No it's not weird"
"should I just get it over with"
Hyde sat up on the bed," It should be with someone you care about. Not just any random guy off the street" he said quietly looking at her," I mean I guess I'm not one to give any advice"
Lana was about to saw something, but Kitty's yell to come downstairs and eat stopped her.
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The Forman's minus Laurie sat around the dinner table. Watching in disgust as Eric shoveled food into his mouth.
"Hey mom? Anymore friend chicken?"Eric asked with his mouthful.
"Well, my goodness, you're a hungry little bee," Kitty noted
Hyde smirked," Yeah From an, whatcha been doing? Excising?"
"in a manner of speaking" Eric nodded
"Hey, I'm too smart for you idiots to try innuendos with me. Got it?" Red asked
"Yes sir" the teens said
"You gonna eat that big boy?" Eric winked as he pointed to Red's plate