Hello, I ended up tearing while writing this chapter. If you're up for a challenge, listen to the song with lyrics before reading or while reading idk
I love this song and everything from them but Light is literally the theme of this book and I listen to it almost on repeat while I'm writing.
Enjoy!
•
"So, I heard you went out with the pretty boy from the restaurant a few nights ago." Jimin says with a teasing smile on his face, and Jeongguk really wants to slap it away and leave. He doesn't do that, sighing as he massages his forehead with the tips of his fingers.
"Seokjin is banned from my list of friends from now on." He says, hearing Jimin laugh next to him before he mumbles something about the other being his cousin.
They're in a park near Jeongguk's office, sitting on a bench, Jimin having called him 20 minutes prior to ask if he was free since he had some business around. Of course, Jimin went to the extent to threaten him that he'll barge into his office even if he says no so Jeongguk found himself agreeing.
"I'm glad, Jeongguk. You're finally showing interest in someone so I'm really glad." His friend says and, when Jeongguk turns towards Jimin, the other is glaring at him mischievously. Of course, he should've expected it coming. "So, have you—
"Shut up, Jimin, not every relationship is based on that."
His friend starts laughing, his hand patting Jeongguk on the back quite hard. "Oh, no one said they are but that's also an important factor. It's fine if you both want to take it slow though."
Jeongguk nods, agreeing with Jimin because he doesn't have the necessary energy to explain the other that, whatever it is between him and Taehyung, isn't even based on touching. The only thing they've done was to hold hands as he drove Taehyung back home in a comfortable silence. He doesn't tell Jimin that because he's sure that his friend would ask him lots of questions and Jeongguk thinks that his and Taehyung's feelings shouldn't be something to talk about with others. The connection between them is just enough to reassure them that everything is fine, as Jimin says, but he can't help feeling like he wants more after thinking about his friend's words.
"If he'll make you happy, I'll give him a huge ass hug when I properly meet him." Jimin sighs, his words falling into the air as both of them start laughing, Jeongguk's thoughts resonating around the idea.
If he'll make me happy.
He isn't sure what happiness brought by love even feels like and, from the way things are, he thinks he isn't the only one that has to understand and experience that emotion, both of them do. The façade Taehyung's been putting on is slowly starting to crack under his eyes and, every time they meet again, Jeongguk realizes that the other's soul is deeper than he thought at first.
During the past few days they've been texting, Taehyung even calling him during the previous night, after he finished work, talking to him as he walked down the streets while Jeongguk stared out of his window, leaning on the wall of his apartment with a smile on his face and a kind of warmth in his heart that he never know he could feel from a single phone call.
"So, what are you doing now?" Taehyung asked him, the tone of his voice amused and Jeongguk could picture his smiling face.
"I'm watching the stars from my window." He answered back, moving even closer to the window, staring at the dark sky, the stars shining on it reminding him of Taehyung.
"Oh, you're able to watch the stars from where you live? The only thing I see from my window is the building next to ours."
Jeongguk never meant to be that straight forward but, during that moment, the words fell out of his mouth before he could stop himself. It wasn't much but it was still a step he's never taken with someone before.
"We can watch them together from here next time." He said, both of them falling silent as Taehyung's pants where heard as he walked. Jeongguk felt nervousness creep inside him, thinking that the other might say no, but everything went away when Taehyung answered with a soft "I'd love to."
That's how Jeongguk finds himself waiting by his car next to the restaurant Taehyung works at the following day, smoking due to how nervous and excited he feels at the same time. He's never taken someone home like this, without the heat of a few drinks or the need of another body next to his for a couple of hours. No one's been sober enough to see his house, his intimate place and most certainly no one's stayed over, no one's stayed enough for them to have a meal together. He's not sure what Taehyung has in mind, if he's playing on staying over or not, but Jeongguk realizes he wouldn't mind that. They've known each other for little over a month but he finds himself wanting to be even closer to the other, to experience the unknown parts of life with him.
When Taehyung comes out Jeongguk experiences the joy of seeing someone you've craved to see for the first time, a smile appearing on his lips immediately, Taehyung looking almost shy as he smiles back. He throws away the unfinished cigarette, watching as Taehyung stops next to him.
"Hi, mister mafia boss. You have that look on you again tonight." He mumbles teasingly, tracing his eyes over Jeongguk's black coat, both of them laughing in the end.
"You really enjoy teasing me, don't you?" Jeongguk asks back, opening the door for Taehyung as the other slides in.
"I do my best!" He hears Taehyung say before he closes the door, walking towards his side and entering.
"Put some music if you want to. Are you cold? You can also turn on the warmth." Jeongguk says as he starts the car, leaving the parking lot.
He feels Taehyung staring at him as he talks, turning his head for a few second in order to look at him as well, the other's eyes being focused on his face.
"I find you driving really hot, Jeongguk. I can't even start a car." He confidently says, flashing a smile as he probably notices his eyes widen.
Jeongguk feels his cheeks heat up and he blames Taehyung's presence for that because no one, ever, has made him blush before and he is almost twenty eight. He can play the game Taehyung is starting as well if the other is sure he wants to, this being the first time they've ever talked about each other that way.
"Oh, so you only find me attractive when I'm driving?" His lips raise into a smirk, his eyes drifting towards Taehyung, only to see the other looking down, towards the screen, pretending he's searching for music.
"Of course not, you're always attractive. Even when you're all cute and blushed up."
Jeongguk ends up chuckling, letting Taehyung win the round only so he can turn and gaze at his proud, smiling face. The other ends up putting some music, a slow melody Jeongguk's never heard before echoing around them. He enjoys it, even adding it to his playlist under Taehyung's watchful gaze, a remark about him cheating on his favorite band making him laugh loudly.
He is a little taken back when he lets his left hand rest on the space between their seats and he feels the warmth of Taehyung's own hand struggling to sneak under it. Jeongguk turns towards him for a few seconds, smiling as he takes his hand in his, intertwining their fingers and squeezing softly. He drives like that until they reach his apartment building, being glad that his car doesn't have manual gear shifting.
"Wow, don't tell me you also live in a penthouse like those young rich CEOs." Taehyung mumbles as they enter the elevator, still holding hands, the other swinging them slowly as he looks around amazed.
Jeongguk doesn't think the place he lives in is special at all. It's aesthetically pleasing and nice but he never sees warmth in it, everyone living there looking like they'd better be anywhere else, never smiling, just constantly stressed and angry, talking on the phones fast and ignoring everything else around. When he thinks of home, he thinks of coziness and comfort, of warmth, something even his cold house lacks.
"Oh, so you do live in a penthouse. I'm done, you can't surprise me anymore." Taehyung says as he watches him press the last button, Jeongguk chuckling as he subconsciously pulls him closer, his other hand settling on Taehyung's waist.
The other takes in a deep breath and Jeongguk realizes the stance they're in, wanting to step away, Taehyung's fingers squeezing his stopping him from moving.
"Don't." He mumbles softly, looking into his eyes so deep that Jeongguk's sure Taehyung can see every word hidden inside his mind.
They stare at each other, something he's gotten used to doing with Taehyung because that seems to be the way they connect, but his eyes wander from the mole on his right eye lower, to the mole on his nose, to his perfect Cupid's bow and, finally, they settle on his lips. He notices another mole under them, staring at it for a few second before he looks back up, seeing the other's eyes still settled on the lower part of his face, on his lips. Jeongguk feels this need inside him to make Taehyung feel special, to show him the unexpected, so he decides he doesn't want their first kiss to take place in an elevator. He takes a deep breath, hearing the bell ring as the doors to his house open, but he still doesn't move an inch.
"They say that the moles we have were our past lovers' favorite spots to kiss. I think your past lover wanted to show you that they loved every part of you since you have a mole on every feature of your face. I really hope they did that." He mumbles, watching as Taehyung's lips part, only to close again, before a smile, a genuine one, takes over them.
He leans up, pressing his lips on his cheek for a few seconds, then he touches the spot with his finger before turning around to step into Jeongguk's house, the other staring after him as he touches the same spot, taking a deep breath at the same time.
He steps inside as well, offering to take Taehyung's coat off and hanging in on the wall, doing the same with his.
"Did you design this?" Taehyung asks as he looks around, touching the stone on the walls softly before taking a better look and approaching it. "These are broken pieces of flat stones right?"
"Yeah. I also designed the building, it was my second big project. That's why I have a penthouse here. I wouldn't have had the money to buy it a few years ago." He walks towards Taehyung, standing next to him as the other keeps tracing the stones with his fingers.
"Oh, that's amazing! Did you also paint these golden lines?" He asks before turning around, his hand places over the lines between the stones, an idea Jeongguk's come with when he was thinking about the design.
"Yes, I got the idea after I visited Japan for the first time. It's a type of art called Kintsugi where they repair broken objects by pouring melted gold between them. Guess I did it to remind myself that everything that can be broken can also be repaired but it depends on what's being used to repair it. You can't stick the pieces together with water after all."
Taehyung turns towards the wall again, smiling softly before lightly touching it again. "You really are amazing, Jeongguk. This is pure art. It's extremely beautiful."
Taehyung keeps looking around for a few more minutes as Jeongguk manages to order food from a restaurant next to him. The other was very keen on the idea of cooking themselves but Jeongguk made sure to promise they'll do that for another time, wanting to savor the presence of Taehyung there entirely without the stress of cooking or burning something. When he finished ordering he walks into the living room area, not wall separating it from the kitchen at all. He sees Taehyung standing by the glass wall, staring at the darkening sky with wide eyes.
"When you said you were staring at the sky I didn't think you meant literally staring at it. This is even better than the Seoul tower." He says when he senses Jeongguk walking next to him, both of them looking at the clouds before Jeongguk's turning towards the other.
"This isn't even the best of it."
Taehyung squeals before he latches himself on his arm, Jeongguk laughing loudly as he manages to walk towards the stairs that lead to the terrace. It's basically the roof of the building but he's bought rights over it a few months ago.
"It's not ready since it's a recent purchase but I'm planning on building a hot tub and an outdoor area here." He says when they finally reach the door, Taehyung's eyes widening even more as he looks around.
"This is astonishing. I'd live here, I'd literally sleep on the floor here." He says, still latched onto Jeongguk's arm.
He looks towards Taehyung, noticing the pure happiness inside the other's eyes, his own heart feeling warm at the sight of his genuine smile. With confidence he didn't know he had Jeongguk raises his free arm, sliding Taehyung's side hairs behind his ears, just like he's seen him do it. The other turns towards him and Jeongguk, for the first time, doesn't run away from his eyes or from the warmth that comes with Taehyung.
"You're finally smiling without holding back, Taehyung. You feel real now."
They stare, because that's what they do best but he doesn't expect to notice tears sparkle in Taehyung's eyes.
Just like he doesn't expect the other to turn around and take a hold of his shirt before pulling him down and smashing their lips together in the softest way possible. The surprise leaves him fast, his hands reaching out for Taehyung in more ways than physical, gripping his back as he pulls him closer, and closer, until their chests are pressed together and their hearts are beating in sync, one of Taehyung's hands moving until it's gripping on the short hair by his nape, Jeongguk's fingers holding him in an attempt to never let him go. He feels the rush of adrenaline inside him and it almost hurts, like a ride on the most dangerous carousel, but he embraces it with his whole body, not even stopping to breath as the kiss deepens until they're both breathless.
When they part ways, breathing like they've run a marathon, Jeongguk's arms hurting from how hard he's been holding Taehyung, he knows.
He knows that he won't be able to let Taehyung go, not after seeing what it's like to have him and, from the dried tears on Taehyung's cheeks, from the powerful hold on his shirt, he knows the other feels just the same.