I'm always honest with myself
Once I know what I'm feeling
I don't have that much of my break left
Before dissertation planning starts
And you know something?
I'm scared
So much is riding on my topic
There is so much to do
To start what hasn't been started
And finish what hasn't been finished
Just how ready am I for this incomprehensible challenge?
Even with all of the classes, some way harder then others
They were the tip of the iceberg to this degree
Now comes the hardest, broad yet narrow part
That once completed will give me the title
I have been dreaming of for many years
Ph.D.
Where do I begin?
What if I fail?
I don't want to let those down that are counting on me
My topic involves real people, real history
People that I know
Strangers too
One thing is for sure
I'm not changing my topic
Just have to come up with a research question
That gets to the point without being biased
I know I'll get help
And that until I actually write it
I won't be alone
But I'm still scared
The "what if's" circle my brain constantly
May 5th is fast approaching
Am I ready to stare this beast in the face?
Am I strong enough to conquer it?
Giving my people, a strong foothold to continue forward
To justice long denied?
One thing is for certain
I never give up
Not after I was given a second chance at life
By the grace of G-d
No matter how hard it will get
For nothing in life is easy
I will write this dissertation
And graduate with honors with my
Doctorate in Philosophy
I am after all, a fighter and a survivor
A warrior, a miracle albeit a scared one
Onward, onward, and onward.