It was the first time I had ever heard my mate say my name aloud, I heard, and my head was spinning. My body didn't feel like my own, and I could see and hear in more detail than I knew was possible.
"It feels like my head is splitting in half," I gasp as I clutch the sides of my head, combating the divisive war in my head.
Her wolf is struggling for power, I heard in Cain's voice, but I didn't see his mouth move until he said, "Your wolf is stronger now that you're an Alpha," Cain explained, and my confusion deepened.
"Why are you repeating yourself, I heard you the first time," I say as I groan, tugging on my hair and I nearly claw out my skull as my claws protrude from my hands. My canines tear my bottom lip, not used to how much larger they are now.
"I can't control my wolf," I whisper in horror. I had always been able to suppress my wolf, making it yield to me effortlessly.
"You'll get used to it," Cain says as he soothingly stroked my leg, sending volts of electricity through my body, and I nearly shift on the spot.
The mate bond is stronger because her wolf is stronger, I hear, and I can't make sense of the influx of sounds I hear. I can hear heartbeats throughout the house, hear when someone takes a step, a breath.
I could see. See with both eyes, and I wasn't used to having vision that wasn't limited to only one eyeball. My eyes flicker around the room, seeing the dust particles that swirl through the air. I meet my mates eyes, and for the first time, I realize that they're not just brown, they're a mosaic of different dark hues. My eyes shift to his neck, to my mark. Must mark mate.
I lurch forward, latching my canines deep into his mark, and I can hear his heartbeat quicken as he groans, a combination of pain and pleasure. His hands tighten around my waist, and he no longer needs to hold back his strength from me.
When my wolf is satisfied her mate is properly claimed by her, my canines withdraw from his neck, and I can feel her settle down.
"What's happening to me?" I whisper in horror as I see the blood dripping down Cain's neck, although the wound has already begun to heal over, and he looked unbothered by it.
"It's part of becoming an Alpha, Ares," Cain sighs as he comforts me. "I'm sorry... I should have prepared you for this but... everything happened so quickly. When you become an Alpha... your wolf is the dominating presence. It controls your urges, your natural instincts."
I was terrified by the prospect of not having complete control of my actions, of my emotions. And right now, my emotions were all over the place. I felt fear, the need to mate with Cain... but most of all: Rage.
Anger coursed through my veins, anger that I had no control, that Wilson was the reason. Unable to contain it, I use the only outlet I know.
I punch the brick wall behind Cain, turning the brick into dust as I left a whole in the wall. You should have prepared her for this, look at her confusion and fear, I hear, and I attention turns on my mate.
"Stop talking about me like I'm not here!" I shriek as more rage flows through me.
"Ares," Cain gentle says as he holds my hands down to my side, and his touch calms my shaking. "I'm not talking, you're hearing my thoughts."
I freeze, and I remember what Cain had told me long ago. Alphas can read their mates' minds.
"Please," I moan, "Block me out... I- I can't focus... it's too much."
Cain obliges, and I can almost feel a wall between our minds, and my wolf is furious at me for closing her off to our mate. "Oh, mate," Cain soothes me, and I feel like I'm shattering in his arms. "You'll be okay, you'll get a handle on this. All Alphas go through it."
I nod, even though my thoughts are an incomprehensible disaster. "It's not all bad, pup," He comforts me. "Here, I want to show you something."
He gets off of the bed, carrying me into the bathroom, and I can't help myself from nuzzling myself closer to his warm body, purring as I do so, my wolf only happy being pressed against her mate.
Cain sets me on the floor of the bathroom, and I almost snarl at him, but I'm caught of guard by my reflection. My scars were gone, all of them. I knew that my tongue had regenerated but... all of the scars that littered my body had disappeared as well. I didn't recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror.
"How?" I whisper, even though I can already guess the answer.
He confirms it as he says, "The sudden influx of power sent your body into overdrive, healing your scars."
Wanting to test a theory, I summon a wolfsbane soaked dagger, and Cain warns me, "Don't. You will be able to scar now that the transformation is over."
I shrug. What's one scar anyways? I run the blade deep along my forearm, feeling the combination of silver and wolfsbane burn at my flesh. For a brief moment, I feel peace, like the pain has dulled my heightened senses.
I wipe away the blood, and the wound is already healed, leaving a jagged scar. "Told you so," Cain muttered lowly. "Don't do that again."
I nod at his command, my neck barring in submission. What the hell?
"Your wolf wants to submit to her mate," Cain explained quietly.
Bitch, I thought to myself. I gasped as I had a sudden realization.
"You're telling me that by body healed itself," I say to Cain, and he nods, confused. "That means..." I get choked up, unable to use my words to express my emotion.
I send Cain images through our mindlink, of my dreams, before they turned into a gore-fest. Me, swollen with a pup. A boy, dark haired and light eyed, the perfect combination of Cain and I.
"Oh, mate." Cain murmurs, pulling me into his arms. "You know I want that more than anything but... Please don't get your hopes up." His voice had grown soft, gentle, scared of shattering my already fragile psyche.
"Why shouldn't I?" I ask, so excited I'm practically bouncing as I pull away from him. "If my tongue is able to fully regenerate, there's no way that my womb is still damaged."
Cain sighed, a sad look on his face. "I just can't bear the thought of you crushed if we are unable to conceive. I saw how negatively you were affected when the healers were unable to help. I don't want you to get your hopes up only to be let down. Remember that you're still the most perfect mate I could have asked for, pup or no pup. Our lives are already perfect with or without a child."
I nod, but I already disregarded his warning to err on the side of caution. I could feel my health, my power radiating throughout my body, and I refused to believe that I would not be able to have a pup.
"Let's go blow off some of that steam, yeah?" Cain suggests, and I grin evilly, already knowing exactly what was about to go down.
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"This is so not what I had in mind when you said blow off steam," I groan as my head smacked against the training floor.
Cain laughed as he unpinned me. "You already had violent tendencies even before the transformation. Now that your wolf is even more in control, you'll find that you're even more prone to violent outbursts."
"That's just great," I mutter. "Let's go again then."
Cain sinks into his fighting position, and I do the same. He throws the first punch, which I dodge and throw one back, fast, hitting him in the chest. It's enough to knock him off balance, something I was never really able to do based on raw force alone before.
I kick at the same place I punched, but he's ready this time, and grabs my foot. I jump of the ground, twisting from his grip, and use the other foot to kick his jaw. He releases my foot, and I land on both feet.
"Not bad, pup," He says in appreciation, and my dumb wolf is glowing at his compliment.
He decides to abandon all proper training methods and full on tackle me, sending us crashing to the floor. He smirks in victory as I'm pinned underneath him. "Not bad, but not good enough," He gloats, and I roll my eyes. "Although I must say, I rather like having you in this position."
His eyes blacken, and I'm sure that mine do the same as he lowers his canines to the base of my throat. Viciously, he sinks his teeth into my mark, and I moan as I squirm underneath him.
When he's done laying his claim, he licks the mark, and I nearly shift right then and there. "Is this supposed to make me not riled up?" I ask, annoyed by his games.
Cain laughs, the sound booming through the training center. "As much as I would love to mate with you here and now, I don't think Thane would appreciate us consummating in his training center."
"Fuck Thane," I say, wrapping my arms around his neck, but he pulls away, making me scowl.
"We should go back to the pack house," Cain says as he pulls me off of the training floor and cradles me in his arms. "They're all worried about you."
We had snuck out of the pack house, as Cain thought it would be a bad idea for me to interact with others until I had blown off steam.
As Cain carried me back to the house, I suddenly had a thought. "Are you still leaving tonight? Don't you have a meeting with Sebastian in Red Crescent tomorrow morning?"
Cain shrugged, unbothered. "That can be easily postponed. I'm not going to leave you here and go through this alone."
"You should go," I say, and my wolf is screaming at me to say the exact opposite. "Things are bad in Red Crescent, I fear they will get worse the longer you stay away."
Sighing, Cain said, "Ares, please. What kind of mate would I be if I let you struggle through this without me?"
"A mate who's a good Alpha," I point out, and his jaw clenched. "I'll be fine, I already feel like I have this under control." A lie. I was constantly on the brink of snapping.
He hesitated and I added, "Plus, it's not like I'll be here alone. Thane and Lucas will be here, and Thane knows what the Alpha transformation is like, he can help."
"I don't like this," Cain says, but I could feel his resolve breaking.
"It's not ideal but... It will be okay," I say, and I'm not sure if I'm trying to reassure him or myself. "This Alpha stuff is easy, I don't know what you're always complaining about," I joke, and I get him to crack a smile.
"Speaking of... I won't be telling Sebastian that you are officially the Alpha. He'll want to do the transference to him immediately, and I'm worried that it would be too hard on you right after you already went through it once."
I considered what he was saying and questioned, "If I transfer the position to Seb, will I lose all of my new power?"
"It's unlikely. Generally with Alphas, once an Alpha, always an Alpha, meaning that when they voluntarily transfer the position, they retain most of their strength. If we have a pup, when he becomes the Alpha, I won't lose much, if any, of my strength," He explained, and I nodded, relieved I wouldn't have to give up any of my newfound power.
"I can feel Red Crescent wolves in my head," I mutter, realizing that was why my brain felt so convoluted with all of the mindlink ties to Blood Lake, Blue Moon, and now Red Crescent.
"They won't be able to mindlink you until you mindlink them first. I'm assuming Wilson put up a mental block from the pack while he was on the run, they won't be able to contact you until you put it down," Cain elaborates as he walks us through the front door of the pack house. I squirm out of his arms, and he sets me down on my feet.
Immediately, Gwen, Onyx, and Axel rush up to me. "Holy fuck!" Gwen exclaimed as all of their mouths dropped. I half smile, feeling uncomfortable with their stares. I suddenly longed for my cloak and mask.
As if sensing my discomfort, Thane, who kept his distance, spoke. "Cain, do you still plan on leaving tonight?"
Cain looked at me one last time, as if wanting me to confirm that I'm really okay with him leaving. I nod slightly.
"Yes, Axel, Gwen, and I will be leaving shortly," Cain responds, and Thane nods once.
"Dammit," Gwen cursed under her breath. "I was hoping the whole Alpha transformation thing would be enough to extend my stay."
"You're more than welcome to stay if you want, Gwendolyn, I'm sure my Beta would be more than pleased with that," Thane smirked.
Cain interjected, "I would like to have my Weapons Master back to training my pack, Thane."
My face twists in confusion. "Weapons Master?" I ask aloud, and immediately regret it when their attention is back on me, looking at me in shock.
Once again, Cain saves me. "Gwen recently got the position. Since she has the second best aim in the pack, and you have another position, she was the best candidate."
"Damn straight," Gwen grinned. "Sexiest Weapons Master there ever was, if I do say so myself."
Thane rolled his eyes and Onyx suddenly spoke, her voice characteristically quiet as she looked at me. "What is your position now? Do we call you Alpha or Luna?"
I didn't know how to answer that.