"Ugh." Gabriel stated. He was alone in his office so he didn't know why he said it, but he felt like it needed saying. Sandalphon had told him to try a few more human things to try and become more familiar to them, so he was trying. He was failing and wishing he had decided to try something else. He practically threw the cube onto his desk and huffed, breaking his usually flawless calmness. He could always miracle it to be solved, but that wasn't the point. He couldn't even get the white side.
He sighed again, glaring at his new worst enemy. He never knew how possible it was to hate an object, he used to think it was stupid to hate things that weren't living or conscious, but now he had an entirely different opinion.
"Michael" he called for the other Archangel who was always outside his office doing paperwork. No one had really given him the job of paperwork, but he had realised that if he didn't do it no one would.
"Yes?" Michael replied, putting his head round the corner of the door.
"I'm trying to do a human invention called a 'Rubik's cube' and it's surprisingly difficult, I was wondering if you want a go." He explained. He wanted to prove to himself that it wasn't just him being stupid.
"Ok." Michael agreed, letting himself into the office and going to pick up the colourful cube. He examined it for a few minutes, and Gabriel observed curiously. He turned it a few times, trying various things, and failed to get it into any better condition than Gabriel had already got it into. Whoever invented this was probably in Hell so they couldn't exactly ask them how to do it. "I'm afraid I'm clueless how to do it." He eventually said.
Gabriel took it back and stared at it for a while. It was very interesting. He was determined to do it now, but still had no idea how. "Go and get Uriel, we'll see if he can do any better." Gabriel instructed, not taking his eyes off the colours. Michael walked away, and after a few minutes she came back with company.
"Uriel," Gabriel greeted, "have a go at this," he gave him the cube, "it's a human thing. Sandalphon said I should try more human things, and this is really hard." He explained, seeing the confused look on the Archangel.
"Ok..." Uriel said, as if there was something suspicious going on, before trying and failing the puzzle like the others. "Well, it is quite hard actually." Gabriel just nodded. After a little while of them swapping round and trying more, Sandalphon walked in, looking for the other Archangels.
"What are you up to then?" They asked, seeing the others grouped in a small circle (triangle) discussing with each other.
"We're trying to figure out a Rubik's cube, it's a human thing like you said I should try." Gabriel explained for the third time that day.
"Oh, they're hard until you know how to do them." Sandalphon commented. The others looked up at them simultaneously.
"Do you know how to do it?" Michael asked, and it seemed like the most amazing thing ever when they nodded. The others exchanged glances, and Sandalphon suddenly seemed like the most impressive person alive. They just grinned smugly and left, making the others even more determined to do it. It couldn't be that hard, could it? It was only a cube made of other cubes.
~3 hours later~
The cube sat on the floor, in between three Archangels who were also sat on the floor, trying anything that was not a miracle to solve it. They had managed to get the white side, and now, no one dared to even touch it in case they accidentally muddled it somehow. A few booklets had come into existence in the past few hours, and they were looking for solutions.
Sandalphon walked in, "still at it?" They asked, only to receive some half-hearted nods. They chuckled, before leaving again.
"We need some more help." Uriel suggested,
"That is a good idea." Gabriel explained, slapping the booklet he was holding closed, creating a loud noise. He always liked Uriel's ideas. "Who?" He asked.
"Just other angels." He said, not so idea-inspired-y this time.
"We don't really know any other angels." Gabriel pointed out.
"Pick a random angel." Michael suggested.
"How?" Gabriel asked, he'd never been very imaginative.
"Which did you speak to last?" She asked, which was another good suggestion.
"Aziraphale." Uriel sighed at that, they didn't like Aziraphale much,
"He does a lot of books though so he might be good at this sort of thing." Michael pointed out. Gabriel nodded, secretly wishing Beelzebub could come up.
"Yeah, ok, I'll get him." Gabriel said, before vanishing. A few seconds later, he materialised back with the principality... and Crowley.
"Why is he here?" Michael asked. Gabriel glanced over to him and realised his mistake.
"Oh, I just went over there and miracled the only people in sight back here." He admitted, confused at his own mistake.
"Whatever," said Uriel, not really caring anymore.
"Why the fuck am I here?" Crowley asked, suddenly realising the new surroundings. Gabriel just sat back down on the floor with the other two Archangels.
"Gabriel, why are we here if you don't mind my asking?" Aziraphale asked, much more refined and politely.
"Have you any idea how to do this Rubik's cube?" Michael asked.
"No, I don't believe I've ever tried one." Aziraphale said.
~another hour later~
Somehow Aziraphale, Crowley had ended up joining Gabriel, Uriel and Michael and were now also sitting on the floor, trying to work it out. How? You might ask, no one really knows. You'd think that they would be sent away, but they hadn't been.
"I think we need more people." Gabriel sighed. "Who else can we get?"
"Well," Crowley started, "you won't like it but some of the demons might have a chance. I am really getting the impression that whoever made this is in Hell so they'll have probably told someone how to do it. Probably someone in the torments department will know this sort of stuff." Michael and Uriel didn't like it, but it was an excuse to bring up Beelzebub.
"Ok..." Gabriel said, trying to sound reluctant, "who do you suggest?" He hoped Crowley was going to say Beelzebub, but this wasn't his lucky day.
"As I said, torments, so probably Dagon, what with them being Master of Torments." Crowley said. Gabriel wasn't giving up that easily.
"I don't think they'll want to be up here." He said, which was actually pretty stupid.
"Well, none of the demons will want to but we can try." He knew Beelzebub would want to be up there, but decided to stay quiet about that and just nod at what Crowley said. "I'll get them."
Crowley vanished, and came back with Beelzebub's assistant, Master of Torments and Lord of Files. "Crowley, what am I doing here?" They asked immediately.
Crowley cautiously picked up the cube with one white side and asked, "do you know how to do this?"
"Course not." Then they glanced around at the desperate angels. "I'll try." They suggested, taking it from Crowley, and a little while later, they too were sitting on the office floor, with the others, failing greatly at the puzzle.
~I've stopped counting how much later~
Beelzebub suddenly came into existence in the middle of Gabriel's office, hoping for some time with Gabriel. They realised there were people there already, and needed an excuse to be there. Then they saw Dagon.
"Dagon why are you here? I was looking for you." They lied unenthusiastically, before walking over to see what they were doing. "What are you doing?" They asked.
"We're trying to solve a Rubik's cube." Gabriel said, happy to see the demon.
"That'zz ztupid." They said, pretending to be moody. "Give it." They said wanting to try. Gabriel passed it obediently, and Beelzebub turned it a few times, before deciding it was difficult and giving it back.
They sat down on the floor next to Gabriel, receiving a few suspicious glanced but not caring.
~it might be days later by this point~
They were still sitting around with each other, with the cube still unsolved. Beelzebub had even leaned back casually onto Gabriel and no one even cared anymore. They had pretty much all given up, but they still didn't want to admit their defeat and leave.
Sandalphon walked in. "Wow, you've acquired some more people." They explained,
"We've given up." Beelzebub said, with Gabriel's arms wrapped around them cosily.
"Do you want me to do it?" Sandalphon asked, crossing their arms.
"Yes!" They all said at the same time.
Sandalphon picked up the cube, and solved it in less than a minute. Everyone watched in awe, but couldn't be bothered to say anything and just left, disappointed, when it was solved.
A/N
Idk why I did this, I just thought it would be funny (I can do a Rubik's cube btw). Anyway thanks for reading. (Word count: 1529)