❝ Sagittarius doesn't fall in love easily,
but they make people easily
fall in love with them ❞
MY EYELIDS FLUTTERED open as the heatless sunlight streamed into the tiny room.
It was the beginning of another week in hell.
I kicked the pile of blankets off of me and jumped to my feet. Getting up became routine. Everything became easier and things were done much faster; I was up and ready to go to work in fifteen minutes.
Since I had a few minutes in the morning, I stared at myself in the mirror. Truthfully, I didn't like what I saw. I resembled my old self too much. Putting on heavy makeup and wearing different clothes didn't change anything. I wanted to change more than just my appearance. I wanted to become somebody else but I didn't know how.
I played with the ends of my hair and an impulsive thought crossed my mind.
Dying my hair may have been the first step but cutting it was a different story. I rarely cut it more than two inches because I loved my thick, long waves that tumbled down my back. Everyone complemented my hair as it was the first thing people noticed and I was strangely proud of it.
So maybe it was time to cut it all off.
I parted my hair and visualized the length I wanted. Scissors in my right hand, I started with just a horizontal cut off the ends no longer than two inches. Then I kept snipping little by little until the ends tickled my collarbone. The back was harder to see so I had to pull it from the front and position another mirror to double check that it was even.
Yet I still didn't look any different, so I grabbed a handful of hair from the front and made one swift slice. My front hairs now came to my nose so I kept snipping until they rested just above my eyes. It was weird not seeing my forehead and even weirder having something almost obscuring my vision and oh no what did I just do?
No, no, it's what I wanted. Besides, it wasn't like I could take it back.
I gasped and widened my eyes when I saw all the hair on the floor. There was so much that it could probably be sent to make a wig or something.
"What are you doing?" Cade asked from behind me. I'd been so busy with my hair that I almost forgot he'd been sleeping.
"Cutting my hair."
"Can I see?"
"Yeah, I just finished."
He walked over to me and his hazel eyes widened at the sight of my new hairstyle when I turned around.
"What do you think?" Gauging his reaction, I added, "You like the bangs?"
"It's, uh, different." He was clearly at a loss for words.
"Is the back even? I'm scared it's lopsided."
"No, you did a good job. What made you cut your hair now?"
I shrugged, "It's hard managing long hair in this place and I wanted a new look. You don't like it, do you?"
He hesitated but didn't meet my eyes, "I didn't not say I didn't like it."
"So does that mean you do or you don't?"
"No, I don't not dislike it."
"Hey," I smacked his arm while letting out a small laugh, "You know I'm not good with triple negatives."
He smiled and tried to sweep my bangs to the side but they shifted back, "I like it. I really do."
"Well, it doesn't matter if you like it or not because it's already done."
"Then it's a good thing I'm telling the truth."
"Ohmygods, you have to get ready for work!" I pushed him backwards and he sighed. As he got dressed, I cleaned up my hair and put it in a trash bag.
"Do you think Thom would notice if we both called out sick?"
"We've been over this everytime you want to sleep in."
"But what if we really sold it?"
"Come on, Cade, we both know he'd come up here and drag us out of our sleeping bags. He made Hunt work in the orchard even though he had a virus, remember?"
"Who's Cade? That's not my name." He looked around the room and I was so tempted to throw my bag of hair at him.
"Sorry, Jaymie. I still don't get why I can't use your real name when we're alone."
"Because we need to get in the habit of using our fake names if we want to have a real life."
"I hate when you're right."
Today I was paired up with Farrah. She was just as private as Gary but at least had more personality than a shoe. Unfortunately, I was stuck doing the same thing as the week before. I tried not to complain but I needed to let it out.
"Have you worked in the quarry before?" She asked as we loaded the large rocks into the wheelbarrow. It was a struggle hauling such heavy rocks up the incline. My back was sore and even though my hands were gloves, they were still dry and cracking.
"It's the only place Thom puts me." It was so unfair. Cade got the easy jobs like fishing and feeding the livestock.
"He only assigns the people strong enough to do this job."
"On one side I'm flattered but on the other I'm kind of mad because my match doesn't have to do manual labor like this."
"If it makes you feel any better, he usually starts you off doing the hard stuff. He likes finding out what you're good at."
"Well, Thom, I've suddenly lost all of my strength and am very terrible at digging rocks!" I was sweating like mad and completely drained.
She cracked a smile, "He can't hear you. Trust me, I've tried."
I wiped my brow and was a little grossed out to find that my bangs had soaked up all of the sweat.
"Are you always in the quarry?"
"Half the time. The other half I'm hunting in the woods."
"He has hunters?" Now that was the job I wanted. "What do you use to hunt?"
"A bow and arrow."
Was she a Sagittarius like me?
"That sounds better than this."
"Any job Thom gives you is just that—a job." Farrah threw the last rock in and I breathed out in relief. I got to my feet with newfound energy.
"Finally, we're done!"
"What are you celebrating for? That was just the first wheelbarrow, we have eleven more."
Of course. What on earth was I thinking?
As I wheeled the rocks to the bottom of the hill, I looked up at the clouds and wondered if Cade was looking at them, too.
»» ─────── ─────── ««
My body ached all over. My feet were bruised, my muscles were strained, and my head pounded from the lack of water. I was a disgusting, dirty mess and just wanted to sleep forever.
Cade and I got to the room at the same time but I called the sleeping bags first. I collapsed onto them as soon as I limped through the door.
"I'm so exhausted."
"I can ask Thom if we can switch," he offered but I shook my head on the floor.
"No, I can do it."
"Then at least let me massage your back."
"That actually sounds really nice." With the last of my strength, I turned around and sat on my butt.
Cade crawled behind me and dug his palms into my shoulder blades.
As soon as he touched me, I sighed in relief and let myself go. My stressed muscles immediately relaxed and everything felt a thousand times better.
"How was that?" He asked after a half an hour. It was a thoughtful gesture that I loved taking advantage of.
"Very nice. Thank you," I turned and gave him a quick kiss—but he had other ideas.
He cupped my cheek in one of his hands and leaned in for a long, sensual kiss. I wasn't sure how long it would last so I was surprised to find that that one kiss smoothly transitioned into a full-blown make-out session.
Except unlike the ones with Mars, this one was purposefully slow and intimate. Cade didn't shove his tongue down my throat or make it a contest to see how fast he could kiss me.
He brushed my bangs from my face and his fingers lingered at the hem of my shirt.
Okay, yes, Cade and I had lived on our own for a couple weeks now, but we hadn't done much in the realm of romance since we had to work so much. I wasn't completely comfortable with him even though we slept by each other's side every night.
Which was why when we started taking our clothes off, I was like a deer in the headlights.
He noticed my nervousness, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all." I leaned in and kissed him more passionately to show I was totally fine.
His hands traced all over my body and I couldn't help but hold my breath.
Cade pulled back and sat up, "Come on, it's me. You can tell me." I wasn't fooling him. Why was he so perceptive?
I knew it was something I could tell him—something I should tell him.
The only thing I could muster up the courage to do was open my eyes. The patterns on the blankets became very interesting all of a sudden.
"It's. . . It's not something I can just tell you."
"You don't have to explain yourself. You can tell me when you're ready."
"No, I'm ready. I've been keeping it all in when I should be comfortable enough to tell you."
"Okay," he nodded and I looked into his eyes.
"When Mars and I first started getting to know each other, we didn't do anything physical beyond the kissing and making out. It wasn't until the overnight field trip when he started to get a little more. . . handsy." I'd actually done a pretty good job of blocking out those memories so I hadn't really thought about it in a long time. "Whenever we were alone, he started trying things. . . things that were more risqué and sometimes I went with it. But then he wanted more. . . and I had to stop him."
I took a breather but he didn't say anything. He just listened.
"It was obvious he was mad or maybe disappointed but he never actually told me that. He kind of just gave me that look like—like he wasn't surprised, like he was defeated, sort of. I could tell he was getting impatient with me." I could still see his face in my mind. That look. Forever burned whenever my thoughts drifted to him. "I felt guilty for not being ready and I always worried if there was something wrong with me."
It was barely seconds after I'd stopped talking when Cade voiced his thoughts.
"But that's not your fault. At all. You should take all the time you need."
"That's what I thought, too. But then there were times I thought about what Aries liked and needed and we had been together for months. It was time, you know?" I sighed.
"Time?" He repeated.
"But I was stubborn. I was the reason we never had sex. Not even after everything he tried to do to win me over." I really should've been thanking his mom since she was the one planning everything. "It never felt right."
Cade grabbed my hands and squeezed like his life depended on it.
"It's okay, Char."
"He never even told me he loved me. Four months and nothing."
"It's okay,"
I had to say it. Say the words and get it out.
"But I love you, Cade," I stared right at him so he knew I truly meant it, "And I trust you." Those kinds of words didn't come easy to me so I was proud I managed to get them out.
He didn't react at first. Though I didn't notice because I was so busy getting lost in his eyes, they were so deep that I could soak them up forever.
Soft lips touched mine and I closed my eyes, captured by his embrace, when he whispered the words back.
"I love you too."
➷
I still haven't mapped out the last quarter of the story and need your much needed opinions: how should it end??
Happy ending?
Sad ending?
Realistic ending?
There are so many possible endings I'm so conflicted ugh