Denouement (noun)
- the outcome or resolution of a doubtful series of occurrences.
~*~
I was delighted. Scratch that, I was beyond delighted. I was bloody thrilled. A college party sounded just marvellous. Trust Maya to get us into all the cool places. Her girlfriend, Francesca, invited Maya whenever they were having a party. Opportunely for me, I was great friends with her and finally accepted the invite she'd offered me infinite times.
Because college parties were open to anyone who was in need of a good time; Nolan, Sabrina and Liam tagged along. Tammy was here with Mattia and I wondered how she convinced him to go out with her. Astrid and Bella said they'd show up later.
The fact that Liam was with me made me feel ten times better. Ever since last week when I accepted (and I say that lightly) that I had feelings for him, his mere presence seemed to constantly brighten my mood. I had a feeling that tonight was going to be one of memory-making. My best friend had a tight grip on his girlfriend's hand as he chuckled and transported her through the expansive doors.
The music was powerful as it welcomed me when I entered the boisterous house. Streamers were everywhere and lights flickered all around. There were so many bodies jammed together, dancing, grinding. People were drunk and laughed along with each other. I couldn't wait to get wasted.
"I'm gonna go find Franny," Maya shifted closer to say in my ear, her voice practically drowning in the loud music. I nodded and she beamed before making her way to her girlfriend. Copious pairs of eyes regarded her as she sauntered away and I could fully understand why. She was stunning.
I advanced further into the living room where most of the action was happening and I welcomed the gazes of many people burning against my skin. My intentions weren't to play around tonight. I was here to have fun. Decked in skintight leather shorts and a cropped tank top, I was feeling way too overconfident. Liam's hand stuck like glue to my bare lower back as he escorted me through the crowd, my sneaker-clad feet inaudibly squeaking on the wooden ground.
Liam leant down to susurrate in my ear, his voice sultry against the side of my neck. "Can I trust you not to get in trouble while I go get something to drink?" I giggled, turning to wrap my arms around his neck and pulling him close. His eyes widened for a fraction before he grinned. "You're insane." With that, he tapped me on my ass before disappearing through the throng of people.
Standing in my spot, I began bouncing to the rhythm of the upbeat song. Just hearing it made me want to break into spontaneous dance moves but I elected to keep that to myself. Nobody needed to see the Dance Moms routines I practised when I was twelve. I twirled in a tiny circle before I located Sabrina and Nolan on the makeshift dancefloor. My best friend was letting free, his lanky frame swaying to the tempo of the song whereas his girlfriend stood stiff as a plank.
I snorted, making my way towards them. Without thinking, I gripped Sabrina's hands in my own and spun her, resulting in a gasp escaping her thin lips. "C'mon, Brina. Show me what you got," I said, whirling around and attempting to shake her but she merely blushed. "Why so shy?" Laughing, I jumped around, feeling Nolan tug my waist and twirl me. "See? Let loose, girl."
"I can't," she grumbled with crimsoned cheeks and I had to strain to hear it over the booming music. I knew that look in her hazel eyes, I'd seen it in the mirror one too many times. She was afraid of being judged.
"Brina," I pulled her close, allowing her body to sway with mine to the tune as Nolan rattled about in a circle, pumping his hands in the air. "Lakeside High might classify you as a nerd, but deep down we all know you're a cool girl. A wild child ready to break free," my words were murmured into her ear and she grinned, pulling away with a glowing look in her eyes. "Now go party with my best friend."
She laughed although it was inaudible due to the music. With a final smile, she allowed herself to be pulled into the embrace of Nolan who was shaking around like a maniac. I decided to immerse myself in the music once again, feeling my body become light with each twirl and twist.
Perspiration formed on my neck the longer I danced but I had no apprehensions. There were people gawking at me but did I care? No. Tammy stood in a corner conversing with Mattia who looked beyond uncomfortable and I giggled. Eventually, my throat became parched and I wondered why Liam was taking so long.
Pushing through the grinding bodies, I finally made it to an abnormally large kitchen. There weren't many people present except a group of students in a corner and a duo close to the centre counter - a duo which Liam Finnegan consisted of. He stood with a bottle of water in his hand, leaning against a counter with his arms crossed.
His muscular form was embellished in a tight white t-shirt and jeans, a look that I noticed he went with a lot. Next to him, leaning a bit too close for comfort, was a short brunette with her hair up in a ponytail.
I rolled my eyes at how easily he could make friends, stepping up to the fridge and grabbing myself a beer. There was no use in being jealous. I never understood that concept. We were allowed to converse with whoever we wanted to.
Popping it open, I sauntered towards Liam and his 'friend' smirking triumphantly as I managed to attract their attention. "Did you forget about me?" I whispered to Liam, lips brushing the shell of his ear and he grinned, shaking his head lightly.
"I got distracted," he muttered, motioning subtly to the girl who was observing us. "There's a difference, Blondie." I giggled, poking his jaw before taking a swig of the chilled beer in my hand as his arm encircled around my lower back, keeping me close.
Liam didn't seem to mind the beer, as long as I didn't offer it to him. At first, I was a bit iffy about drinking around him but he laughed it off.
The brunette next to him looked pestered at the least. Her brown eyes were narrowed as she took in my outfit and I rolled my eyes, knowing exactly what she was thinking. I thought we left behind the concept of girls putting other girls down. "Charlie," I grinned, sending her a small wave. Liam squeezed my hip, able to tell that my smile was forced.
"Laura," she returned although there was no emotion in her tone and I frowned. At least I was pretending to be nice. She didn't even make the effort. Her eyes surveyed my leather shorts and exposed midsection as well as the swells of my breast at the top of my tank top. She tutted and spoke in a condescending tone. "I'm disappointed every day by the lack of self-respect some women have."
Well, that escalated quickly. I felt Liam tense at her words but I didn't recoil, already used to it. Taking a sip of my beer, I responded in a smooth tone, "I have a right to be happy in my own skin, Laura."
"Don't you feel like it's just a bit too much skin?" she countered without missing a beat, tugging at the knee-length blue skirt she was wearing. Liam stood more upright, ready to diffuse any dispute that was about to start.
The alcohol was kicking in and I sighed in pleasure. Drunk Charlie was about to make an appearance and I apologised in advance if she was going to end up making Laura cry.
Laughing, I wrapped my arms around Liam's neck, pulling him flush against my chest. His brown eyes flashed with uncertainty. "Liam doesn't seem to mind," I murmured, lips on the brink of touching his. He gazed down at me with a lustful look in his brown eyes.
Maya entered the kitchen with heightened eyebrows as she stepped to the fridge to grab herself and Francesca a beer. Laura huffed, watching as I smirked at Liam, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.
His eyes fluttered shut at my touch and I grinned, feeling the alcohol take control. "Slut," Laura scoffed, crossing her arms and Liam pulled away imperceptibly to scowl at her, ready to defend me.
"How the fuck is slut an insult?" Maya questioned as she travelled to the door with two bottles of beer. She winked at me and Liam. "You get that dick, girl."
I snorted, dropping my head against Liam's chest as he shook with laughter. "Whatever," Laura huffed, moving around the counter to put distance between us. She was smart, drunk Charlie would probably claw her eyes out. By the glazed look in her eyes, I realised that Laura was just as drunk. "You probably sucked his dick anyway," she tutted. "No self-respect."
A giggle escaped me at her words and I turned to grin at her. "Honey, I could suck a million dicks and still have self-respect."
Before Laura could retort, Liam spoke up with a smirk. "Fuck, Blondie. If you sucked a million dicks even I'd respect you."
I pecked his chin and turned to see Laura halt at the doorway. "It's the 21st century, honey. Lose the judgement." With one last scowl, she disappeared out of the kitchen and I began giggling, taking another swig of my beer.
Liam rolled his eyes affectionately, pulling the bottle away from me. "I think you've had enough. You nearly started a fight."
"She started a fight," I pointed out and tried grabbing the bottle but he held it above my head. "I just decided to educate her."
Elevating the bottle higher, he laughed and replied, "you're a smart ass." His arm was still enveloped around my waist and I shifted closer to him, inclining onto my tiptoes to reach the bottle. Seeing that I was still unable to reach, he laughed at my pout, his chest vibrating with the sound.
I gazed up at him through mascara-coated lashes, keeping eye contact. Gold and brown intertwined around the edge of his iris, making the profound coffee colour stand out. His eyes contained mysteries and enigmas in the same way that a jar held coffee beans.
There was just something about his eyes that pacified me yet brought out a different side of me. The alcohol coursed through me and I grinned, knowing that I was going to regret my actions once I was sober.
I gripped his hand that was placed on my lower back and stared at him with parted lips, slowly moving it lower. "This ass?" I murmured, hearing his breathing hitch as his large hand settled over the curve of my ass.
Liam squeezed momentarily and I gasped as he leaned down, whispering, "what are you doing, baby?" He pressed my body against him, keeping eye contact with me as his mouth moved again. "You barely even had that much to drink." His pupils were dilated, the golden colour dominating the usual coffee colour.
The softness of his laugh drifted through my ears as he gawked at the bottle in his other hand, questioning how I was already intoxicated. My mind was muddled and I couldn't think straight. All I could see was Liam Finnegan smirking down at me, his lips quirked slightly. I didn't understand how someone could be so handsome.
I stretched up to encircle my arms around his neck, dragging him down to my height until I could hum against his full lips. "Kiss me, Liam."
His lips divided in shock, settling both hands on my shoulders to put some distance between us. A whine escaped my lips as I grasped for him but he furrowed his dark brows and said adamantly, "no."
My jaw dropped at his blatant rejection and I felt utter mortification fizz in my stomach alongside the booze. He just rejected me. I could tell you one thing, sober or drunk, rejection felt like shit. A succession of incomprehensible words tumbled from my lips as I moved away from him, feeling irritation begin to arouse from within me.
"Why?" My question was cold, stepping further from his hold and sensing my eyes sting. Usually, I wasn't an overly emotional person but at that moment I was drunk. Pair that with the fact that I was just rejected by Liam Finnegan and you're going to have an enraged Charlie. "Is it because I'm basic? A dumb blonde?"
"Blondie -"
"Or maybe it's because I play soccer," I pronounced, nodding to myself as I began to understand. Glancing back up at him, I discerned the concern surging in his eyes but I didn't care. "You and every other guy like your girls petite and fragile. I've got muscle because I play soccer and it's unattractive. Why? Am I that repulsive to you?"
Liam reached for my hand but I slapped it away, his touch burning. "Listen to me. You're drunk right now. If you really want me to kiss you, I'll kiss you when you're ready-"
His words prompted my heart to sink even further. He was just saying that to make me feel better. If being drunk was the case then Liam would've kissed me long ago already. I thought back to all the opportunities he had to kiss me yet he didn't. Even though we were interrupted, he made no move to speak about or act on it.
I hiccuped, floundering on my feet. "Is it because I'm too boyish at times? Or maybe I'm too dumb. Is that it?" I looked at down at my body, paging through the lists of things that could be the reason for Liam not being attracted to me. With another loud hiccup, I apprehended with a heavy heart that I was just marking things I was self-conscious about. Things that I'd never said out loud before.
"Is that how you feel?" Liam gawked at me, bewilderment apparent in his eyes and moved closer but I relocated, lifting a hand to keep him away.
Seeing the soft eloquence on his face, my heart fractured slightly. I was a clown to think that Liam actually liked me that way. I deemed that he might've taken interest in me but like every other guy, Liam knew what he wanted and it wasn't me.
Sheathing my arms around my body, I lowered my gaze, unable to meet his stare and feeling exposed. My next words were said in a small and defeated voice. "All guys have expectations, Liam. And I never meet them. Not even yours." My eyes began to glisten with a layer of unshed tears and I could hear my conscience cackling at me. What a silly girl, truly thinking she had a chance.
I'd shown up at the party feeling beyond excited. This night was supposed to be a fun-filled one. But I managed to ravage it, not only by drinking but also by thinking that I was different. Mustering enough confidence, I peered up at Liam, ignoring the melancholy in his eyes.
"Boys don't like girls like me. Why do you think my first attempt at a relationship was with a girl?" I sniffled, feeling a tear making its way down my roseate cheek.
There was a look of regret on his facial features as he listened to me speak, probably coming to the conclusion that I was a self-conscience little bitch. It was a side I tried to hide by dressing prettily all the time and speaking my mind. "You're drunk," he declared again but it sounded like he ran out of things to say.
"Haven't you ever heard people say that drunk words are sober thoughts?" I let my inquisition waver in the air. It was up to him to analyse it.
His brows scrunched synchronically as he took in my words, eyeing me with an apprehensive look. "What are you saying, Blondie?"
"I'm saying," I muttered, finally seizing my beer bottle back from him. "Next time I'll tell Cupid to fucking shoot both of us instead of just me." His jaw went sluggish but I staggered out of the kitchen before he could question what I just said. It was obvious. There was no reading between the lines. He understood it and I didn't know how to feel about that.
I practically crawled up the stairs before locking myself in a bathroom, the tiles freezing underneath my exposed legs as I sat inclining against the bathtub. There was a floor-length mirror in front of me and I grimaced at the pathetic girl staring back at me. She was a disgrace to her stereotype. Where was the confidence in her blue eyes?
I couldn't believe that I actually expected Liam to like me back. It was pitiful. Disappointment weighed down on my heart. Who was I disappointed by? My own expectations.