Lavinia greeted the approach of the Christmas holidays with simultaneous relief and fear. On the one hand, there was the issue of the disaster that was currently her home life. And on the other, she was so desperately in need of a break from her school work it had stopped being funny a long time ago. Lavinia was constantly swamped with work as her extra elective class finally came back to haunt her. She spent late nights in the library so often Madam Pince had started taking pity on her and cleared out all of the other students first, giving Lavinia a few precious extra minutes with her references.
All of the fifth years were starting to feel the pressure of their approaching OWLs and there was nothing quite as stressful as beginning to receive the corresponding letter grades on assignments. Lavinia's first mock exam was in Potions in mid December as Professor Slughorn attempted to gauge what they needed to review in their final semester before the real thing.
Naturally, Lavinia studied for it as if she was doing the real thing. She had no doubt her mother would find out about these grades one way or another, regardless of whether or not they were official and she'd already received two letters from home telling her to remember to take her mocks seriously. She'd hardly needed the reminder. These days she was so busy she hardly had time to think. Which, in some ways, was a blessing, she supposed.
The day of the Potions mock, Lavinia was a frazzled mess of sleep deprivation and nerves. It didn't help that breakfast was a disaster. Alexandra, who didn't seem to be taking mocks seriously at all, had the gall to comment on the state of Lavinia's hair - a hasty ponytail which was hardly her proudest moment.
She'd hardly sat down to the table and begun pouring herself coffee when the brunette snorted. "Did you tie a horse tail to your head, Lavinia? It's not a good look."
Lavinia had looked up from her coffee, the mug halfway to her mouth and stared at Alexandra for a long moment. "Did you stick a horse head on your face, Alex?" she mocked, matching the other girl's tone. "You look better than usual."
She hadn't stayed to eat food, or see Alexandra's response, simply walking out with her mug in hand, deciding her time would be better spent reviewing her notes than listening to Alexandra's snide comments. So she made her way back down to the dungeons, trying to decide whether or not she felt bad about making fun of the other girl. On the one hand she hated how easy it had been to be so mean. And on the other hand, it was hard not to think that Alexandra might just deserve it for what she'd done.
The seemingly only good thing about the day was that Lavinia had her morning period free, so she settled herself in the common room, coffee in hand and read through the study guides she written up, trying to recite potions techniques from memory and list ingredients without looking at her notes.
An hour or so later, Lavinia sighed, knowing she wasn't going to absorb any new information in the hour she had left before potions and decided to try to find the kitchen so she could return her mug and maybe grab a snack. She had no appetite, stressed as she was, but knew it would be foolish of her not to eat something before the exam, especially since she'd missed breakfast.
So she departed, filling her book bag with everything she would need for her exam and the mug she'd stolen from breakfast.
About ten minutes of wandering later, Lavinia realized she didn't have the foggiest idea where the kitchens were, or where to even begin looking for them. She stopped walking in some back corridor on the ground floor and leaned against the wall, pressing the heels of her hands into her palms.
"Can I help you?" came a voice.
Lavinia swore, pressing her hands harder to her eyes until she saw stars pop against the darkness. Not now.
"Is that a no?" Remus Lupin asked.
"I will transfigure all of you into slugs and step on you one by one unless you leave me the fuck alone right now," Lavinia hissed, hands still over her eyes.
Lupin chuckled. "It's just me," he said reassuringly.
Lavinia dropped her hands. It was just him. "Let me amend that," she said drily. "I will transfigure you into a slug and step on you if you tell any of your arsehole friends you saw this."
To her surprise, Lupin just smiled gently. "You never answered the question," he reminded her.
"What?" she sighed, too distracted to remember to be sharp with him.
"Can I help you?" he repeated, and the patience in his tone made her frown. He was being too nice.
"If this is a set up or a prank, the slug threat still stands," she warned, now glancing around the corridor, searching for any sign of Potter, Black or Pettigrew lurking anywhere.
"They're all busy right now," Lupin said, now looking at her oddly.
"And you're not? You're little clique is never apart," she pointed out, still keeping her eyes on the corridor.
Lupin shrugged. "James and Sirius have detention, Peter's talking to McGonagall."
"And you're doing what exactly?" she asked, still skeptical.
Again, Lupin gave her that odd, searching look. "Well right now, trying to get you to answer a really simple question."
Lavinia waited a moment, expecting some comment on her intelligence or lack thereof, but it never came. She eyed him more suspiciously. "Of course I don't need help," she snapped. "Much less yours."
"Ah," he said, nodding vaguely. "So you're hiding in a back corridor because you want to?"
She glared at him. "I was taking a walk,'' she snapped. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Taking a walk," he echoed, with a dry smile.
She glared at him again. "I don't have time for this," she snapped, pushing away from the wall. Her book bag knocked against her hip and she remembered the mug and swore under her breath again. Maybe she'd just bring it to breakfast tomorrow. But she really should eat. She groaned quietly.
"Is there anything I can not help you with?" Lupin asked from behind her. "Since you obviously don't need help."
Lavinia glowered at him over her shoulder. "I'm perfectly capable of helping myself, thank you," she snapped, pointing a condemning finger at him. "Now where the fuck are the kitchens?"
"Two halls down, take a left. There's a painting of a fruit bowl. Just tickled the pear," he supplied, giving her a gentle smile again.
She wanted to slap that stupid, patient grin off his face, but she had a feeling that was the stress talking. Instead she gave a sharp nod, and started off down the corridor, calling over her shoulder as she went: "If you're lying or this is some sort of trap, I will hunt you down, Lupin. Slug, remember?" She pointed at him again to emphasize her point. "Easy to squish." She heard his soft chuckle behind her and couldn't suppress her own small smirk, glad there was no one here to see her.
Lupin's instructions, it turned out, were not a trap and the kitchens were a warm, cozy place bustling with house elves only too eager to do as she asked. She left sans mug, but with a small sandwich and the assurance that if she ever wanted anything else, to just come back. Lavinia had the suspicion she would take them up on that. No need to sprint to dinner at the last minute anymore - she could just show up to the kitchens and they'd hand her whatever she wanted. As long as no one knew who had directed her there this first time, it would be perfect.
She sighed slightly and took a bite of her sandwich. Why had he helped her? And why had he been so nice? She couldn't seem to reconcile Remus Lupin in her head. The few times she'd interacted with him one on one he'd been nothing but kind to her. And yet he sat back and let his friends do whatever they pleased. It hardly mattered, she supposed. Regardless of his kindness, for which she was most certainly grateful, whether or not she'd ever admit it, he was one of the Marauders. And she was... Well. She was her. And she and the Marauders simply didn't mix.
So she beat it into a box and shoved it away for no one but herself to ever know. But she couldn't bring herself to dismiss it entirely. She had the feeling it might sometimes be nice to remember the kindnesses of Remus Lupin.