It's the opening of classes. I entered Law School at Pan Edro University.
I don't want to be a cardio surgeon anymore because I don't want to remember how Donny hates mom because of a mistake.
I found out that changing your wants or likes for the betterment is also important. It is not thinking about yourself only but for others as well.
I am a little bit excited because finally I am going to start my journey in fulfilling my aspiration to be an attorney like dad. But I am the saddest because Donny can no longer attend school. He has a lot of responsibilities, not just for their Law Firm but to the people, to the employee who are dependent to their company.
I went to school with the feeling of what ifs.
What if Donny and I are going to the same school?
What if we will go to school at the same time?
What if we will walk at the corridors of this school together?
What if Donny and I are seatmates in our classroom?
What if we have assignments and we will answer it together at the library before going home?
"What if we will join a contest in our school and we will represent the whole university afterwards?"
...
"What if I can't make new friends? I asked myself while sitting on my chair.
"Hi, I'm Cynthia how are you?" a classmate suddenly asked.
"I'm Sharlene. I'm good," I answered.
"From where are you?"
"I'm from Korea. And I studied there."
"Oh, that's great. You know it's my dream to visit there. But I feel somewhat sad thinking about it."
"But why?"
"My parents can't afford to send me to college so I don't think I can go soon. It will take many years more before I could go there."
"Of course you could go there."
"You're right so I am going to study well because I wish I could go there when I could find a job and make money. How do you feel riding a plane going here?"
I never thought I would meet someone like Cynthia. Someone who is not yet able to ride on a plane or shall I say someone who have never been to other country. But I admire her determination. She's real about herself.
"I won't tell you, so that you will do your best to go there someday. Study hard. Fighting!" I told her.
She laughed. Then we both laugh.
"In the future if I will have money, could you help me visit Korea?"
If I would want to boast that time, I should have told her that I can bring her there anytime. But I don't want to ruin her dreams. She has to stand on her own and make way for herself.
"Sure," I told her with a smile.
"Honestly we are poor. I have three brothers in high school and my parents do not have a stable job. But nanay said, she was once the brightest among her classmates, but because they were poor ever since and she was not that brave so she was not able to finish college.
Cynthia is from a poor family. But she's studying in Pan Edro University because of scholarship. She is really intelligent. I can't imagine how she topped over 3000 examiners. But she is full of hope. She is determined. She is really humble.
"How's your family in Korea?"
"I am the only child. So it's a little bit sad. My mom and dad seldom see each other. We are not that okay in terms of family bonding."
"I am sure you are rich. Why can you afford to study abroad if you're not."
I don't know how to say. Shall I lie? Shall I tell her the truth? But at the end, I don't like her know about me and my family. About how rich my parents are.
"What is more important, wealth or intelligence?" I asked her.
"Your question is not easy to answer. I don't have wealth so I can't compare how it is to be intelligent and wealthy. I want both. But I was only given spark of intelligence. But I'm okay with it."
That conversation with her made me feel like I want to be poor to know how to compare how it is to be rich.
After school, I went to uncle's office but Donny is not there. I looked for him at his office.
As I open the door.
I saw he's seated on his chair. He smiled as he saw me.
"How's school?"
"Quite okay. I met a friend named Cynthia. And how's to be here all day?"
"Tiring but thinking I have to learn for the employee and for their family makes me keep on trying."
"Happy to hear that. Have you eaten yet?"
"I brought some food. I know you might forget to eat."
Donny smiled.
We ate dinner together. We are so happy that we have time for each other.
I know Donny is really tired. He has to adjust himself for many things. I hope he won't give up.
My routine for the first week is to go to school then after school have to help Donny if there's something to help. Remind him to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. Remind him about his personal needs. He has to stay healthy.
But then I found out to be tiring. I have to choose either to continue studying or stop for a while.
I called So Hyun on the phone and asked her to meet me.
We met at a coffee shop.
"I'm sorry, it's all of a sudden," I told her.
"It's okay, something wrong?"
"I think I have to stop school."
"Stop? Shar are you okay?"
"I'm bothered. I always think of Donny. I wonder what he does at the office and I wanted to help him."
"Shar, don't think about today only, think of the future."
"But, what should I do?"
"Lessen your class. Choose the units you think you have time to help him."
"Will it be okay?"
"I think so, but I don't know."
"What do you mean?"
"What if uncle and aunt found out about it, what are you going to say?"
"I'll explain."
"You think it'll be okay after doing it?"
"I hope so."
"Take of the things you've been through consider their power, they won't let anything just slide."
"So, you mean I should not?"
"Well, that's the best thing to do."
Saturday...
Donny is still busy even Saturdays. And he has to attend a meeting.
"Donny, do you still recall how you sleep inside the classroom but you were able to answer all our teacher's classroom?"
"Honestly, I was not sleeping during class. I am listening while the teacher is discussing. I am just pretending I am asleep because I hated others looking at me."
"Oh, really? I thought you were that genious."
"But the night before we have a class I aleady read about our classes."
"Then, if you are good in pretending, is it possible that you are just pretending that you need help?"
"Of course not. I always need your help here. Come here often, because I need strength."
"You can just have our vitamins then," I joked.
"No, my strength is not from vitamins I will take, but it's..."
"Oh, why did you stop all of a sudden?"
"It's you. My strength is you."
I am so happy and I want to jump on my bed because of what I heard. But of course I have to relax and I should not show it to him.
I turned my back. I smiled happily secretly.
"Shar, I'm going," he told me.
I got ready my one second smile as I face him but as I looked at him, he's no longer inside the office. He's already out. He didn't even wait for my reply before going out. But thinking what he just told me makes me so glad.
I sat on his swivelling chair, close my eyes and turn around because of happiness.
As I open my eyes, Donny is in front of me and he's happily smiling at me.
"Wh...why are you here?" I asked him.
"I forgot my necktie," he said.
His necktie is on the table.
"Do you know how to put it?" he asked me.
"O...of course not," I pretended I don't know.
"Then, I shall do it by myself," he said.
He is taking so long to fix it so I volunteered to help him.
As I hold the necktie, my heart beats getting faster.
"Shar, I'm going to be late," Donny said in whisper.
Honestly, it's been a long time when I fix my uniform so I have to recall it.
Then finally, I remembered after trying, then I noticed Donny looking at me. I feel more nervous. But as I tried to put my head on his chest, I heard his heart beating faster than my heart is.