Matapos umalis ni Salem ay pinapasok ako kaagad nila Mommy sa bahay. I've been crying a lot and it is not healthy anymore. They tried to calm me down kaso the scene from last night keeps replaying in my mind.
"Kulang pa ang ginawa ko sa kanya, Dad. I maybe lalambot lambot but when it comes to Kiana baka mapatay ko ang lalaking yun." Kuya reason out after he was scolded by Dad.
"Still, son. Damages are being done sana hindi na lang natin pinalaki." Dad calmly said and Kuya just sighed.
"Are you feeling better?" he asks me and I didn't answer. Ano bang isasagot ko? Na okay ako? Eh hindi nga. I am far from being okay. I think I will never be okay. Minsan na nga lang umibig olats pa.
"Susundin ko lang ang mag-ina ko sa bahay then we will be here. Kiana knows about the situation and she is on board na mag-stay dito for the mean time." Kuya said habang kinukuha ang car keys niya.
"Be careful, Paolo." Mom reminded him and he nodded before going out of our house. "Iha, why don't you go up to your room at magpahinga? Everything is in chaos right now pero I know na mafifix niyo ang nangyari. Salem is a great man. He seems to be so in love with you because he tale risks into coming here."
"Kung mahal niya ako..." she shushed me.
"Don't jump into conclusion, anak. Hindi kita pinalaking ganyan. I know you are shocked. You are not thinking right when you decided last night pero simula ng ikasal kayo ni Salem. I know that he is a good man at hindi niya magagawa sayo yun. This is what you're going to do. You heal first, before healing what was needed to be healed. Therefore, no latter damages can be done. Okay?" she advises and I hugged her. Mom says the right words at the right time. I can always count on her.
I know deep inside me naniniwala na hindi magagawa ni Salem yun. Kung kay Salem man yung batang dinadala ni Imee, I can accept that. I will be glad kung magdidivorce kami para lang magkaroon ng maayos na pamilya ang bata. Alam kong all things will be settled soon and all my doubts will be cleared but right now, like my mom said, I need to heal.
Kinabukasan, kuya drop me off before going to our company. Nakita ko na ang nag-aalalang mukha ni Irish. Tinawagan ko siya kahapon para ipaalam ang nangyari. Gusto niyang sugurin si Imee at si Salem pero I stop her. Ayoko ng dumagdag pa siya.
"I will be fetching you mamaya. Maghintay ka sa tapat ng building niyo. On time ako palagi alam mo yan." Kuya reminded and I nodded. I kissed him goodbye at bumaba na.
Nang makaalis na si Kuya ay sinalubong ako ng yakap ni Irish at niyakap ko rin siya pabalik. Her hugs are the best.
"I needed that hug." I whispered and she hummed in response.
"I needed this hug too." she whispered back. Kumalas na ako sa yakapan namin at nakita kong malungkot din ang itsura niya.
"May nangyari din ba?" I asks and she shook her head.
"Something is off lang. Between Kian and I. I mean, lagi namang off kapag kaming dalawa." she smiled and I nodded. "Ikaw? Okay ka lang ba? No, scratch that. Okay ka na ba?"
"I need time to heal, Irish. Hindi naman basta basta yung nangyari. Basta ang goal ko ngayon ay ayusin yung sarili ko then maybe I'll find a time where I have enough courage to face Salem again. To rekindle what we have or something. After all, mahal ko parin naman siya and he is still my husband." sabi ko and she nodded.
"Pasok na tayo." she said and I nodded. Buong araw wala akong ibang inisip kundi ang pag-aaral ko. I distracted myself into focusing in my studies rather than the problem that I have. Sabay kaming bumaba ni Irish ng mag-lunch. A lot of my schoolmate is looking at something sa baba. Syempre, dahil dakilang tsismosa kami ni Irish ay nagmadali kaming bumaba. Only to find Salem holding a bouquet of red roses.
"Asawa mo." she whispered and I nodded. Hindi muna kami lumapit at nagpakita sa kanya. I stop myself para pagmasdan siya. He looks so tired. Sobrang pagod ang itsura niya. I sighed knowing that both of us are hurting. I swallowed everything at hinila na si Irish palabas.
"Sav..." he whispered and I stop in front of him.
"Fix yourself, Salem. I don't want to see you like this." saad ko. "Tara na, Irish." sabi ko at hinila na si Irish palayo. Nang medyo makaalis na kami ay nilingon ko siya. He is looking down at naglakad palayo dala-dala ang bouquet na hawak niya.
Gusto ko siyang habulin. Gusto ko siyang yakapin pero masyadong fresh pa sa akin ang nangyari eh. Everything is so fresh.
"It's okay, Sav. Everything is going to be fine." Irish said at nagpatuloy na kami papunta sa kung saan kami maglulunch.
After what Salem did, the whole campus is buzzing about us. Naissue ang hindi ko pagpansin sa asawa ko. Maraming ibang tsismis ang kumalag na break na daw kami. Divorce na ba daw kami and everything. Tumagal iyon ng dalawang linggo dahil patuloy parin si Salem sa pagsuyo sa akin. He is getting miserable everyday. I remember one time he is drunk ng hintayin niya ako sa baba ng building namin.
"Sav, please. Hear me out." he said. I look at him at agad tinakpan ang ilong ko. Amoy alak siya at halos hindi pa inayos ang sarili bago pumasok.
"I will hear you out kung aayusin mo ang sarili mo, Salem. For now, umuwi ka at magpahinga ka." I demanded and he reached for my hands and he successfully did.
"I want you back, Sav. Mababaliw na ako kung hindi ka babalik. I will tell everything to you just please move back in." he begged and I sighed. Nakita ko si Johan sa likod ni Salem.
"Take him home, Johan." sabi ko at pinilit na bitawan niya ang kamay ko.
"Tara na, bro. You don't want this to spread even more na malalaman pa ng papa mo." Johan said and that made him walk away.
Meron ding isang araw na tumawag sa akin si Ajeer disoras ng gabi. Nalaman ko na sa bahay nila pala siya nakikituloy uli at hindi sa condo niya. His dad is in the states kaya hindi alam ang nangyari sa amin kasama nito si Tita Ciara.
"Hello?" I groggily answered the phone. Nailayo ko kaagad ito sa tenga ko sa ingay.
(Hello? Is this you Savannah?)
"Who is this? This is she speaking." sabi ko at bumangon mula sa pagkakahiga.
(This is Ajeer. Can you please go here? Hindi namin alam na dito siya pupunta. Buti at tumawag ang may-ari ng bar ma pinuntahan niya. He is causing some trouble, Savannah. Please just come here and get him home. Hindi na namin alam ang gagawin eh.)
"Saan yan?" I asks while getting out of my bed and putting an oversized hoodie on. Nagsuot din ako ng sapatos.
(I'll text you the address. I'm sorry alam kong not in good terms kayo pero sana naman makapunta ka.)
"I will be there. Just text me where it is." I ended the call and while I was going down my phone alerted me that I have a new message.
From: Ajeer
Harrison's Place dito sa BGC. Please drive safely and thank you so much.
I grab my car keys at pumunta na sa garahe. I know how to drive pero kabado kasi ako. Ayokong gisingin si Kuya kasi alam kong pagbabawalan niya ako.
"Kaya mo to, Sav." sabi ko at pinaandar na ang sasakyan ko. Thankfully, I got there safely. Nang maipark ko na ng maayos ang sasakyan ko nakita ko naman si Gio na nasa labas ng bar at naghihintay ata sa akin.
"Thank you for coming, Sav." he said and I nodded.
"Where is he?" I asks and he led me in. Nakita kong nakaupo si Salem sa isang upuan. He is completely wasted. Nagkalat din ang basag na bote sa paligid.
"Sav!" Johan shouted and I made my way over there.
"Bakit ba kayo nandito? Hindi ako uuwi. Hindi ako uuwi." Salem slurred. I look at his situation.
"Sobrang madami na ang nainom niya at ayaw niya paring tumigil. Nagpaalam siyang aalis lang para bumili ng ice cream because he is suddenly craving for some. Kung hindi tumawag ang owner ng bar na ito baka nasa ospital na siya due to alcohol poisoning." Johan explained. Halos lahat ng lalaking pinsan niya ay nandito.
"Bro, let's go home." Ajeer tried to convince Salem to go home but he just shushed him at iinom na sana ng pigilan ito ni Dale. Kausap ni Kian ang may-ari ng bar probably ay babayaran ang mga nasira ni Salem.
"Hindi sabi ako uuwi. Paano ako uuwi? Wala naman don si Sav. Wala na siya iniwan na niya ako." nagulat ako ng bigla siyang umiyak. "Iniwan niya na ako, bro. Katulad ni Kiana, tsaka ni Imee. Iniwan na niya ako."
Nasasaktan akong nakikita siyang miserable para sa akin pero we need time to heal. That's all we ever need. Hindi ko mapigilang maiyak sa nakikita ko.
"Come on, dude. Let's get you home." Dale tried this time. Nag-abot ulit siya ng bote kaso kinuha lang itong muli ni Ajeer.
"No." he answered. I sighed and wiped my tears away. Lumapit na ako at nag-crouch down.
"Salem, umuwi ka na." sabi ko at dumilat siya para tingnan ako.
"Sav!" tuwang tuwa saad niya at niyakap ako. His put his whole weight on mine kaya medyo na out balance ako. Tinulungan ako nila Ajeer na itayo siya.
"Sav, I am so happy you're here. Huwag mo na akong iwan ulit, please. Balik ka na sa akin. Magpapaliwanag ako. Huwag mo na akong iwan." he repeated his words from last time na pinuntahan niya ko sa harap ng building namin na lasing.
"You need to go home." mariin na sabi ko. He sighed and sadly smiled at me.
"Hindi ka na babalik? Iiwan mo rin ako? Bakit?" he sounded like a child.
"Please stop this, Salem. Go home and fix yourself." I said. Sinenyasan ko sina Ajeer na dalhin na siya and they obliged.
"Isang usap lang, Sav. Kahit sandali lang. Ang sakit na eh. Hindi ko na kaya." pakiusap niya habang inaalalayan nila si Salem na tumayo.
"You need to go home." mariin kong sabi habang pinapalis ang mga luha ko. Kumalas siya kina Ajeer at hinawakan ang mukha ko. He wiped my tears and he sighed.
"I am making you sad, diba? Ako may kagagawan nito? Ayaw mo na ba ako kaya ka umiiyak?" he asks. Hindi ako sumagot. "Pinahihirapan na ba kita? Sorry, baby. Sorry." he said and lean his forehead. He repeated his words at nilayo na siya sa akin nina Ajeer.
"Johan, ipagdrive mo si Savannah. Kian settle everything here at babalik din rito si Johan. Gio sumunod ka kina Sav. Dale iuwi na natin tong mokong na to." Ajeer ordered his younger cousins. "Thank you for doing this, Sav. I hope na maayos niyo na sa lalong mas madaling panahon ang problema niyo kasi kilala ko tong gagong to. Hindi siya magkakaganito kung hindi niya mahal ang isang tao. Drive safely." he said and kissed my forehead. Niyakap naman ako ni Dale bago sila umalis na akay akay si Salem.
Niyakap ako ni Johan and once again, I cried my hearts out. Gio hugs me too and after calming myself down, umalis na rin kami.
After noon ay paminsan minsan na lang siyang nagbabakasakaling makausap ako. He wanted to be near me pero everytime na gagawin niya umaatras siya. I want to talk to him at sabihin sa kanya na kahit hindi na siya magpaliwanag. I want to tell him na okay na pero I know that I have to restrain myself also. Hindi kami maghihilom kung ganon.
"Una na ako, Sav. May alis kami ni Kian." masayang paalam ni Irish. She's been telling me how she is nervous the whole day and she don't know why. Hinihintay ko si Kuya sa tapat ng building namin.
"Sav...." nilingon ko ang tumawag sa akin at nakita ko si Imee, dressed in out uniform with an oversized hoodie. Probably to hide her growing bump.
"Pwede ba tayong mag-usap?"
•••