Arthit banged his head on the table after another failed attempt.
Why, just why was it so difficult to approach someone?
Why was it so difficult to talk to them?
Why was it so difficult to meet their gaze?
Why was it so difficult to even smile at them?
Arthit sighed.
And why was it the most difficult to confess to someone?
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There he comes, Arthit thought as he glanced sideways at Kongpob coming that way.
He will lookup at Kongpob, as he will pass by him, Arthit decided.
Not just now, everytime.
Isn't it said, that the more you look, the greater the chances are to catch that person's attention?
And Arthit so wanted his attention.
He had been trying for a while, but has failed everytime.
But now, he would do it, every chance he got.
He lifted his head from his work as Kongpob came nearer, but dropped it again as soon as Kongpob passed by him.
Shit!!
Again.
Why was it so difficult?
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Today he'll do it, Arthit decided.
He will walk up to Kongpob, and ask him.
Nothing weird right? Because it was work related.
Sure he could ask his other colleagues too, but kong doesn't have to know that right?
So clutching the file, and bracing himself, he walked towards Kong.
But as soon as Kong looked up at him, his breath hitched, his ears turned red and Arthit changed his direction, and approached the person sitting next table to Kong.
Arthit slapped himself internally.
Right.
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Coward, is what he was.
Because, for all the things he could have approached Kong for.
He approached the person sitting next to Kong.
His justification, that person was also on the same department.
Besides, he got to see Kong everyday, without making a fool of himself.
And if he started dressing a little more carefully than usual, it was his attempt to catch Kong's attention.
Baby steps, yes baby steps.
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Arthit's heart stopped and his breath got stuck for a minute when he realised who had called him.
He had realised it the moment that person had uttered hello.
How could he not?
His ears had automatically picked up his voice among other noises for months.
He had been dreaming about it everyday, every night.
That voice directed at him.
And now, when that voice spoke his name, he could feel the butterflies in his stomach.
It had sounded so sweet.
Sweeter than his imaginations.
"Hello...you there?"
Talk. Yes talk. He could do that. Arthit realised.
Talking on phone was not that difficult, he decided.
He smiled, as their conversation ended.
Maybe it was not that difficult.
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Speaking on phone was far far easier than speaking face to face.
If Arthit gave himself a pep talk, walked around a little inside his cabin, and felt butterflies in his stomach before making a call to Kongpob, then no one has to know.
He was happy that he was making some progress.
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Arthit banged his head on the table and sighed.
It was becoming his habit nowadays.
Today, God was kind on him and had sent Kong his way to talk, interact, face to face.
And what had he done?
He had refused to look up at Kong's face, and had talked in a manner, which he was sure, sounded indifferent.
He felt like crying.
Why was he like that?
Why couldn't he do it?
Why was it so difficult?
If tomorrow, Kong decided Arthit was not worth his time, he would not blame him.
He deserved it.
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Despite everything, he still didn't wanted to give up.
He sat fidgeting at his seat, clutching the iced coffee, and looking at Kong's table from time to time.
He had decided.
As soon as Kong came, he would march to his table, give him the iced coffee and say- for you.
Surely he can speak two words.
And the things to speak after that, he will decide that time itself.
He started fidgeting more as he thought about it.
Dang!! Why this little thing was so nerve wrecking?
What was he so afraid of?
His thoughts broke, and he suddenly looked up, right into the eyes of Kongpob, as a pink milk was placed on his table.
And finally when Arthit did looked into Kong's eyes, he was unable to look away.
He ears turned red again, and he started feeling shy.
"Finally you looked at me", Kong said to him and gave him his dashing smile.
Arthit stomach jolted, and in a moment of bravery, immediately asked,
" Do you want to have lunch together?"
"Sure", Kongpob replied in a heartbeat.
And Arthit realised then and there, looking at the pleased expression of Kongpob, that why was it so difficult.
Because it made things beautiful and all the more worth it.
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