Nixon
After getting some beauty rest, which I needed, as did Nash. We dressed and came downstairs. Kaiden, Greg, and Lex were in the kitchen, having breakfast. I needed coffee, stat.
"How bad is it with Presley?" Kaiden asked me while I poured a coffee into a cup.
"It's as bad as it was with Lyric, but worse," I answered, drinking my coffee.
"It's guilt," Nash said, sitting next to Lex. "I watched Lyric struggle after Daniel's death. Then Matthew did the same thing, except he refused to date anyone. Death affects everyone differently."
"Will Presley ever deal with the grief?" Kaiden asked.
"He is," I answered, surprising everyone. They all looked at me as I drank my coffee.
What everyone is forgetting is Presley is dealing with his grief on his terms. I saw it many times with the people I counsel that came to me. That is why Parker called me.
We had breakfast then left after I told Frick to call his mother. Kat would have my ass if he didn't call, and I don't need Kitty Kat pissy. Have you ever dealt with a pissy woman? It's not fun, and I get no fun.
We left and went to the devil children's house. It's time that Presley and I had a chat.
Presley
I woke up and came downstairs to see Uncle Nixon sitting in a chair alone in the living room. Parker must have called him.
"Can I get a cup of coffee first?" I asked.
"Be my guest. It's on the counter," Nixon answered while shrugging.
I went into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee, then came out to the living room. I sat down on the couch as I sipped my coffee.
"Parker called you, didn't he?" I asked.
"Your brother thought you needed help. I thought I needed sleep. Guess who won?" Nixon asked while smirking.
"You wasted a trip. I'm seeing my therapist," I mentioned, drinking my coffee.
"And I see it's working so well," Nixon retorted.
I set my cup down and looked at Nixon.
"What do you want to discuss? The fact everyone is pushing me, or I got stuck in a never-ending sea of emotions? How about the freaky nightmares I have?" I asked, getting angry.
I stood up and started pacing.
"Let's talk about how everyone thinks I should go back to the old Presley. That every time I turn around, someone is giving me advice. Okay, let's talk. Eliza didn't listen. She ran into a burning building because she worried about me. Eliza never listened and would be alive if she did. Nope, she disobeyed orders, and it killed her. Why didn't she listen? I was proposing. We would have a life together," I screamed, feeling myself break.
Nixon stood up and looked at me.
"Because it wouldn't matter if Eliza listened," Nixon said.
My lip quivered as tears fell down my cheeks.
"Eliza made a poor judgment call, and it cost her life. You can't save everyone, but you can rescue one," Nixon told me.
"I hate her," I whispered, feeling an ache in my chest.
"Because you loved Eliza deeper than the ocean. She's not here, and you are. It is survivor's guilt. I saw it many times in people who experienced grief. They question everything and what they would do differently. Nothing would change," Nixon explained.
"I want to stop drowning," I mumbled.
"Then let people help you. No one says you will return to who you were. Death changes people because it changes everything and nothing at all. People still live while some die. If you stop living, you all ready died. Don't jump into that grave with Eliza. You don't belong there," Nixon advised.
I nodded as Nixon hugged me.
"I want the ache and pain to stop," I said, my voice muffled.
I felt someone touch my back, and Nixon let go as I turned to see Pops.
"It will, Presley," Pops assured me. Pops pulled me to him, and I hugged him tightly. "I got you," Pops whispered as I nodded.
Grandpa looked at Nixon. "That is why I brought Lex. Sometimes a boy needs his father," Grandpa whispered.
"Yeah, I know. When Frick called, I didn't hesitate to come. My boys are a pain in the ass, but I will come when they need me. Now, I must visit bubby," Nixon told Grandpa.
"I'll go with you to see Markus and Mason," Grandpa said.
Nixon and Grandpa left Pops and me alone.
Lex
I let go of Presley, and we sat down on the couch.
"Sorry that my issues brought you here," Presley said, wiping his face.
"Why? Did you think I wouldn't come?" I asked.
"I know you deal with a lot with my brothers," Presley mentioned.
"It's what a parent does. We deal with issues with our kids. I knew that when your ma had you kids. It made me want to go back to work," I joked.
Presley chuckled.
"I will never stay away from you when you have a problem. I love you boys more than life itself," I told Presley.
It was true. Yeah, I was hard on my boys, but I loved them.
"Can I ask you a question?" Presley asked.
"Yeah," I replied.
"Is this what it felt like after your accident?" Presley asked.
"No," I answered. Presley looked at me with confusion. "I didn't remember anyone. Everyone was strangers to me. I remembered when I came home after I woke up, hearing how sad your ma sounded," I explained.
"But you didn't remember Ma," I mentioned.
"No, but she knew me and our life before the accident," I said with a look. "Your ma grieved for me, but I was alive."
Presley looked at me.
"The people outside looking in grieve for the one that isn't here. The person left, and the people remained. It frustrated the family and me," I explained.
"So, what helped?" Presley asked.
"Your ma told me that she was pregnant with Payton and a phrase she said to me the day I proposed to her," I answered.
"What was the phrase?" Presley questioned.
"Always and forever," I mentioned.
I looked at Presley and knew. Eliza wasn't his forever and always. Even if she lived, I don't think they would stay together.
"Presley, you never told Eliza that, did you?" I questioned.
"No," Presley admitted. "I loved Eliza, but there were times I felt drained with reassuring her."
"Because you wanted to be her knight in shining armor. Presley, you can't keep rescuing someone. Do you know why your ma was my forever and always?" I asked.
"Why?" Presley responded.
"Because she didn't need rescuing. Your ma was a sound person and endured a lot while we dated. She didn't play games because I didn't allow it. We fought for each other even when times got rough. It's the same with your brothers," I explained.
Presley looked at me and nodded. Presley's relationship comprises of Eliza is she needed rescuing, and Presley wanted to play the hero. It's not a genuine relationship. I wonder if something happened to Presley if Eliza would have mourned him or been there? My thought is no.
"I wanted to be the one that Eliza came to when she needed someone. I thought if I did that, it would be enough. Then she broke up with me. I had people treat me like dirt, including my brothers. I didn't realize that wanting to help someone was a bad thing," Presley mentioned.
"It's not, but it's not a good thing if you're the one doing all the work. Your ma and I noticed that when we saw you both together," I told Presley.
Presley looked at me, speechless. What people didn't see is what Piper and I saw. We watched Presley reassure Eliza constantly. She accused him of things that he didn't do. When Eliza broke up with Presley and everything happened, he called me, crying. The boys didn't help matters.
We talked for a while, and Presley went upstairs. I sat on the couch and saw the boys come into the house, stop, and leave.
"Stop, turn around, and join me, boys," I said, sitting there. The boys groaned and joined me. "Why did your ma and I receive a bill from the fire department having to get you out of an apple tree?" I asked.
The boys looked at each other, then threw each other under the bus. My boys are tools.
Presley
I stood in the shower and let the water cascade over me. I thought about what Pops said and about Eliza. I never cheated on her, but she accused me. I didn't look at other girls or flirted, but she mentioned that I did. I wanted to marry Eliza, hoping that would show her how much I wanted her.
Would we have lasted if we got married? Then I thought back to that dream with Eliza and Payton. I spent so much time grieving that I didn't see the bigger picture. I think deep down that it would have ended at some point.
I turned off the shower, dried off, and dressed. I texted Nora and told her to meet me for coffee. I needed to talk to someone other than my family. I came downstairs to hear Pops and my brothers argue. I walked past them and left. I figure they could talk without me.
I met Nora at the bakery and ordered some food. We sat at a table and ate while talking.
"So if I understand this correctly, you're not sure if you and Eliza would have stayed together. How do you know?" Nora asked me.
"Pops pointed out a few details to me. The signs were there, but I ignored them," I answered, eating a pastry.
"Then why grieve for someone if it wouldn't last?" Nora questioned.
"I don't know. Maybe I wanted to justify my feelings. I loved Eliza, but everything I did while together made me the bad guy. When did I become the bad guy?" I asked.
"When people saw the damsel in distress and assume you were the villain. Mason did it to me when I chose Matthew over him, then Matthew wished Mason and me well," Nora commented.
I chuckled. "That is your fault. You should have told Matthew the truth," I replied.
"Well, now I have a guy that wants to take things slow and get to know me, but I'm not sure," Nora mentioned, eating her bagel.
"We suck at love, don't we?" I asked.
"Yep," Nora agreed.
I ate while we talked. I'm sure that I will never fall in love again. After everything that happened with Eliza, I didn't want another relationship or any girl. I could focus on my career as a paramedic.
I had a feeling something would derail that focus, and it would be someone I wasn't expecting.