Okay now, don't get too excited.
Leaving me in the sense that he was going away for work again and leaving me in California for a bit over a week.
I wasn't all too excited for him to be gone once more but there was no way I could stop him. He was only going up to San Fransisco but either way I was gonna miss him. He tried to make it up to me by spending time with me before he left but even then it was only afternoons and mornings since the rest of our days were occupied with other things.
Christian's apartment was located right up against the city for easy commute. Even though he lived in an apartment building with a bunch of other people it was still far nicer than my little townhouse that I had to myself. The man made bank to say the least. And no that wasn't why I was with him, I was with him long before he started getting so successful and it wasn't why I stayed with him either. In Los Angeles, men with money were everywhere, only difference was, I loved Christian.
I was sitting on one of stools situated at his island bench, hiding this bubble of excitement in my chest as I sipped my morning coffee. His arms around my waist almost made me jump out of my skin in surprise. Aftershave blossomed from him and that thick layer of savoury cologne flooded my airways.
"Morning," I smiled as I felt his chest come into contact with my back, his warmth encapsulating my cold body.
"Morning," he hummed by my ear. His lips soon finding the skin of my neck and planting soft kisses from my jaw to my collar bone. I felt my muscles ease as he located my sweet spot. "I'm gonna miss you so much," he purred into my ear. Just hearing him say that made my heart warm.
"I'm gonna miss you too," I smiled as he continued kissing my neck over and over. "When do you come back?"
"Not this Friday but the one after that," he said, making his way to my jaw.
"In the morning?" I asked. To which he nodded as to not disrupt his lips from my skin.
"Okay..." I said quietly as I built up the courage to speak. "You remember that art thing I entered?" I said, "with the gallery?"
"Vaguely," Christian said, holding me just a little too tight.
"I uh...I heard back," I smiled. "And um...I got in."
"Really?" Christian said, a little less excited than I wanted him to be.
But I was beaming. "Yeah. Yeah I got in. They liked the stuff I sent in and...they're gonna put it in the art show."
"Aw congrats babe," he said. It was the first time he'd called me that since we were having sex on New Years. "So does that mean your works in an exhibition?"
I grinned and nodded as he planted a kiss on my lips. A while back, I'd put in a few of my sculptures for this art exhibition that was gonna take place at the gallery I worked at, showcasing up and coming artists around the area. I never thought they'd want anything to do with my pieces so I almost cried when they called me and said I'd be in my first ever exhibition.
"It's on the Friday night you come back," I said and chewed my lip nervously, "I know it's a lot to ask because you'll be tired and all but...it would mean everything to me if you were there."
Christian smiled and placed a hand on my cheek, "of course I'll be there. I know how big of an achievement that is for you. There's no time difference with here and Sam Fran. Of course I'll be there O."
"Thank you," I grinned gratefully and smiled against his lips as he kissed me once more. We'd been going good for the past week since he told me he was leaving, it was like a fresh breath of air and being back in his apartment reminded me that he was letting me back into his life again. When he was in a mood it'd always be him coming to my house, probably because it meant he could leave easily. But for now, we were doing good.
We hadn't been out on any dates but he'd surprised me with flowers on multiple occasions and grew to tell me sweet nothings like he loved and adored me and that was all I could ask for.
Even when I dropped him off at the airport and hugged him goodbye, we felt like a proper, healthy couple. It no longer felt like we were acquaintances on a first date. To me this was a sign that we were fixing things and that I wasn't in denial and that we really just did have a rough patch, not that he was falling out of love with me.
"Message me when you land so I know you're there safe," I said to him as we stood by my now fixed car at the drop off point.
"Try not to get into any trouble while I'm gone," he smiled and kissed my lips hard.
"I love you," I grinned, flicking my eyes up from his lips to those beautiful green eyes that made me weak at the knees.
"I love you too," he smiled softly and pressed his lips to mine once more as I melted completely for him.
As soon as I'd waved him off I rushed home and got ready for work. To keep my rent paid I'd had to take up an extra shift this week and would have to catch up on all the classes I was gonna miss that night. It was a little hectic but I was managing.
It was only me at the reception that morning and being a weekday, it was quite as hell so you can bet I just sat on my phone out of view until something happened. Jackson told me he was coming on at two but that was four hours away and I was finishing at three so that really only meant an hour of fun. The boredom of sitting alone washed out my excitement about the exhibition.
Once Jackson arrived that's where the day starts to get interesting. We were just messing around, being the only ones at work, throwing paper at each other and all that when a familiar somebody walked in. Alex in all his glory.
"I were in the area and thought I might check to see if you were 'ere," he told me. Apparently I'd drunkenly told him the gallery I worked at, I was surprised he remembered. The entire time Alex was there Jackson's jaw was on the floor and I had no idea why. He also told Alex about the whole exhibition thing and that got the guy excited, Alex promising me that he was going to be there even when I told him he didn't have to if he didn't want to.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," he told me, that same smile that made me feel good about myself adorned his lips. Once he left due to his friends blowing up his phone and asking where he was, Jackson turned to me and said:
"That's the Alex guy?"
And that's how I found out Alex was the frontman of the band 'Arctic Monkeys'. A bit anti climactic but that's life isn't it?
When I asked Alex why he didn't tell me the band he was a part of was a very well known one, I'd even listened to their songs and never even knew it, he told me that whenever he did tell people they'd start trying to use him for the benefits of his profession and he was worried it would ruin our friendship.
"I dunno...I guess it were just nice knowing someone liked me for me and not for me band," he said. "I hate when all I am is 'the guy from 'Arctic Monkeys', I guess sometimes I just want people to see me as 'Alex' again."
"Well I won't think of you any different," I told him, "you're still the loser who fell in my bush to me."
During the duration of Christian's trip to San Fran we didn't fight once, let alone argue. It was the best feeling on earth. I decided I wouldn't call him whenever I felt like it so he didn't feel like I was being clingy but when we did call he'd be telling me how all his work over there was going, and that was fine because at least he was happy.
The day of the exhibition was...well it started with me attending classes and all that boring stuff and then I rushed home, got dressed to impress and immediately made my way to the gallery so I could help in the set up and all. My stomach was in knots, butterflies bouncing around in my lungs and my palms sweating as the nerves jittered up my spine.
Jackson was already there helping set up when I arrived, all dressed up nice as he jogged over to me and gave me a tight hug. "Excited?" he asked me.
"A bit overwhelmed," I said, twiddling with my fingers as we made our way over to where all the artworks were being set up.
"The Crucifix coming?" Jackson asked, earning a look from me.
"Don't call him that Jack," I sighed. "Yes, he is. He came back this morning but he's still making the effort to come so please don't grill him when you see him."
"I won't, you know me I'm all talk no confrontation," Jackson chuckled.
I was roped away by the people setting up the exhibition to help them display all my works. It all felt surreal. I think it was because it was the first time I'd ever felt sort of proud of myself and felt that things I was doing were finally amounting to something. And overall just seeing people appreciating a hobby of mine meant more than I know how to explain.
The exhibition was set to start at six and by five thirty, four of my friends messaged me apologies that they weren't going to be able to make it. The light in my heart faltered with each one. Especially when Saorise texted and profusely apologised that she couldn't come because she was throwing up all afternoon. I knew it wasn't her fault but regardless it broke my spirit a little that my friends weren't going to be there. All I kept telling myself to keep my heart from sinking was: at least Christian's coming.
As the exhibition droned on I began to get more and more nervous and lonely. Christian hadn't messaged me yet so I had no idea when he was coming and I was stuck standing by my work alone whilst Jackson was tending the makeshift bar set up. No one was talking to me, I felt like a mannequin, chipping off my nail polish to stop myself from chewing my nails off. I kept checking my phone every five minutes just to see if Christian had said anything but all I was greeted with was a blank screen.
Deciding I may as well just check up on him seeing as the last thing I heard was that he was back in LA from this morning, I sent him a quick message just asking when he was going to come because I was really excited to see him. Someone offered me a glass of champagne that I sipped solely so I had something to do as I awaited Christian's reply. It was almost eight and the anticipation was eating me up.
After at least twenty minutes passed I decided to call him just incase when my phone vibrated and I was finally given what I'd wanted. A message from Christian. Only, the contents were exactly what I didn't want.
Christian: Sorry babe I won't be able to make it I'm just tired as hell from coming back from San Fran. Let me know how it goes
My hand dropped to my side, my bottom lip finding its way in between my teeth as the back of my eyes began to sting. I should've known better.
"It's fine" I told him, another lie. Suddenly I felt stupid, pointless, hollow. I felt ridiculous standing there all dressed up waiting for guests who were never going to arrive, next to my art that just wasn't worth making time for. I didn't want to cry. Not in public at least so I tilted my face up to the ceiling and blinked back those tears as fast as I could and just prayed my eyes hadn't gone red like they do when I cry. I just felt like an idiot. I should never have expected of him to come. Of course he'd be tired. I shouldn't have relied on his appearance to make me happy.
I downed the rest of my glass of champagne and decided to leave my post for a bit just so I had time to gather myself so I could continue to stand and smile for all the guests moving in and out. I took a look at the rest of the work, realising how much better it all was in comparison to mine and found myself at the bar, ordering another drink from Jackson.
"Christian here yet?" Jackson asked as he poured me out a glass of champagne.
I shook my head, taking a deep breath to steady myself, "no. He's not coming. He couldn't make it."
"Oh," Jackson said quietly, "Orion I'm so sorry."
I shrugged it off, "not surprised to be honest. It is what it is." He handed me the glass of bubbling yellow liquid.
"I'd come stand with you but," Jackson said.
"Yeah no it's okay," I smiled, "I'll be back in like ten minutes for another one anyway."
I weaved back through all the people to where my artworks were when a voice startled me. "Orion!" I turned around and saw Alex's beaming smile as he made his way over to me from the entrance. I could feel my heartbeat quicken as if I'd drank an energy drink. "Sorry I'm a bit late," he said, running a hand through his hair. "Oh wow," he said and looked me up and down, "wow you look phenomenal."
A shy smile broke on my cheeks, "stop it. I don't." He was all done up as well. First time I'd seen him wearing something that wasn't that leather jacket that had moulded to his shoulders. He had on a button up shirt with all the buttons at the top undone and a thick black coat to protect him from the cold night air sitting over top.
"Well that's a matter of opinion," Alex said and looked over at the stands my sculptures were sitting on. "Are these yours?" He asked me excitedly. I nodded, keeping silent and following him as he inspected each piece, so so internally grateful that he was there. His presence made all that sadness stemming from Christian bailing on me disappear.
"Holy shit," Alex said under his breath, moving so close to the sculptures that he'd probably be able to see all the strokes of paint and bumps in the clay. I just stood silently behind him, chewing my lip raw as he looked at each one of the five sculptures I had. "These are amazing," he said quietly. "Are they for sale?"
I shrugged, "I mean, everything in here is but I don't expect anyone to buy anything."
"Has anyone bought anything yet?" He asked curiously. I shook my head. "Can I have this one?" he pointed to the one before him and raised his eyebrows at me.
"Really?" I smiled in disbelief.
He nodded enthusiastically, "yeah I want this in me house it's amazing."
"Um...sure," I smiled gratefully, "if you want it?"
Alex grinned, "how much?"
"Hm?"
"How much for it?" Alex asked, looking at me to the sculpture and back.
"Oh you don't have to pay, you can just have it," I said.
"Bull," Alex said, "I'm not lettin' ya reduce the value of yer art. This kind of stuff looks worth thousands."
"No it doesn't," I smiled at the floor to hide my blush.
"Oh come on Orion," Alex said and moved closer to me, "give yerself some credit, they're amazing."
"Okay," I said quietly seeing how passionate he was, "but I'm not charging you anything."
Alex sighed in defeat but didn't let that smile fall from his lips, "fine. Whatever you say." He looked over to his left, "how good's the rest of it?"
"Much better than mine," I admitted. "They've all done this a million times."
"Alright, I'm gonna give them all the ole' once over but I bet you I'm not gonna find anything better than yours," Alex smiled.
I rolled my eyes, "I doubt that."
Alex chuckled and told me he'd be right back.
I couldn't take my eyes off him as he made his way around the gallery and politely squeezing in between people and dodging waiters carrying champagne. The fact that he'd come out of his way to come to this pointless exhibition that even my boyfriend didn't make an effort to attend made me feel more valued than I had in a long time. I could see his little fifties quiff moving along the walls of art poking above all the other heads.
My phone buzzed, forcing me to tear my eyes from the top of Alex's head and draw them to the illuminated screen.
Christian: I'll make it up to you. I love you.
I sighed and put my phone in my bag, sure you do. When I looked up, Alex was already making his way back and in his hands were two glasses of champagne. His cheek was puffed up on the side as he chewed on something he must've acquired from one of the waiters walking around with finger foods.
"Sorry, I couldn't say no to sushi," he said, trying not to open his mouth too much as he chewed while he spoke.
I smiled hiding a laugh at how goofy he looked. "Can't blame you."
He handed me one of the glasses and quickly swallowed his mouthful. "To your first exhibition as a sculptor," he smiled and raised his glass.
I bit back a smile and slowly raised my glass to his, my eyes locked on his as I said a thousand internal "thank yous" for that man before me. He clinked his glass against mine and we took a mutual sip of or respective glasses. Mine now claimed by the smear of lipstick along the rim.
"I'm sorry I couldn't help meself," he said as he put his glass down on a nearby table.
"What do you mean?" I asked, holding onto mine.
"I sort of bought...two of em..." he smiled sheepishly.
"No you didn't," I said. Alex just smiled. "Alex," I exclaimed, "I would've just given them to you!"
Alex chuckled, "I know. That's why I asked yer friend Jackson where I could put me name down for purchasing a piece because I knew you'd try to stop me."
"Oh Alex," I whined. "You shouldn't have."
Alex smiled warmly, "but I wanted to. I hope you don't mind but I took that one and that one," he said and pointed to two of my sculptures. "Had to get two so that they balanced each other out in me house."
"You're insane," I smiled.
Alex shrugged as he suppressed a grin, "I'm just redecorating is all."
"Find anything else you liked?" I asked, scanning my eyes around the rest of the gallery and all the people admiring each other and the artworks.
Alex shook his head, "unfortunately I saw the star attraction first."
Even though there was next to nothing to do, especially because I had to stay close to my work in case 'people wanted to talk to the artist', Alex stuck with me for the entire night, standing by my side as we watched people come to and from my work. But with his presence the excitement of the night was lifted. What I liked about him was that he could uphold interesting conversations for hours upon hours. His voice being one that you just could never get sick of.
He made me laugh about things that I never usually found funny and kept my mind occupied the entire night as we just talked and talked and talked. Suddenly, I was thankful Christian didn't come because now I was able to spend more quality time getting to know Alex as a person passed "so what do you do?"
Even once the exhibition was over and all the guests had left and all that was left were people packing everything away, Alex stuck with me. He helped me pack up my exhibits and innocently asked me whether or not he could take home his two sculptures that day or if he had to wait.
"I'm sure you can take them today," I said. And sure enough, seeing as they were mine I got to have the final say and we boxed up the two pieces he'd bought for a price he wouldn't tell me. "I'll help you get them to your car," I said and picked up one of the boxes. They were only about the size of my torso, maybe smaller, but they were pretty heavy for it. I said goodbye to Jackson and thanked the owners for letting me display my work and then headed out behind Alex as he carried the other box toward his car.
"You know what I could go for right now?" I said out loud as we walked through the parking lot.
"What?" Alex asked, looking over the box at me.
"Ice cream," I said, ignorant to the cool night air around us.
"Me too," Alex hummed. "You want to drop the boxes off and get some?"
"Yeah sure," I smiled, "I have nowhere else to be."
And so we dropped off the sculptures in his car and walked down the street to a Ben and Jerry's for a quick bite. He kept getting ice cream on the tip of his nose, making me giggle each time. Seeing as he'd gotten chocolate I kept teasing him like a teenager saying, "looks like you've sniffed shit again."
"Leave me big nose alone," Alex chuckled and wiped off the ice cream with a napkin. We ended up sitting at the ice creamery until they closed, having lost time in conversation. He walked me back to my car saying he wasn't going to risk letting me walk alone so late at night.
"It's just this one here," I said as we approached my car that I'd parked in a parallel spot on the side of the road. It took me five tries to get in. I took out my keys and turned to face Alex. I had a million things I wanted to say to him but none of them were making their way out.
We were just standing in silence as I tried to pick what line to say to him and when I realised I was never going to find the right thing before the silence lasted too long, I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly. I found sanctuary as his arms wrapped around my waist and embraced me back.
"Thank you so much for coming," I said, trying not to cry at how genuinely grateful I was for him to be there. It meant more to me than he could've ever imagined.
"It were no problem at all," his voice was hoarse and warm by my ear. The scent of his cologne overwhelming me and reminding me of the whole doorway moment that was an accident.
I gave him a little squeeze before letting go and stepping back, tucking my hair behind my ears and smiling at him one last time.
"Thank you for letting me buy yer sculptures," he smiled, tucking his hands in his coat pockets.
"Thank you for liking them," I smiled.
"No need to thank me," Alex chuckled, "just remember how talented you are."
I smiled and rolled my eyes, thankful the streetlight made it dark to hide my blush. "I'll see you later then?"
"Sure will," Alex said, "have a goodnight."
"You too."
He began walking down the sidewalk, about three paces before he stopped and turned to face me. "You busy tomorrow night?"
I shook my head, "nothing other than staying at home."
"Well...if you want, me mates and I are going out to a few pubs tomorrow night and we'd all love ya to join us," Alex smiled.
"I didn't embarrass you enough last time?" I asked.
Alex shook his head with a soft chuckle, "no. Definitely not. It's up to you though."
"Okay," I smiled.
Alex nodded, his features defined by the yellow light of the lamps lighting up the road, "I'll pick you up at seven."