It had been four months since Edward and I had killed Nahuel and I was having a difficult time getting past it. I had never killed anyone before, not in human form at least. It had felt different when I was part of the pack, and we fought and killed a number of vampires to protect our land and families. To have been in human form, and kill one with my bare hands was taking a mental toll on me. I had recurring nightmares of my own head being ripped off and burned in front of my family.
If dealing with my guilt over Nahuel's death wasn't enough, I had other problems I was struggling with silently. It had been two years since I made my promise to Nessie to be changed. I couldn't believe how quickly the time had passed. I was now entering into the last year of my human life and I hadn't done nearly as much preparing as I thought I would by this time. I had told myself that three years was enough time to adjust to my decision. I thought I'd made peace with it when my father and friends more or less accepted my choice. Then, my children were born, and my perspective on life changed.
Jeremy and Natalie were the two most beautiful, happy, and healthy human babies I'd ever seen. In the four months since they were born they had grown at a normal pace as Carlisle predicted. Their hearts beat normally. They ate formula with no complaints, and when we offered them animal blood neither one would drink it. They slept as much as normal babies.
Carlisle told us after many physical examinations since they were born, that he expects the twins will have normal human life expectancies. They seemed to have some vampiric traits, but show no signs of immortality. They were strong and fast. They could hold their heads up before two months. Jeremy rolled over first, just before he turned four months old. He'd rolled clear across the room in a few seconds, scaring the crap out of me. Their skin would sparkle slightly in the sunlight the way Nessie's did, but it wasn't any more obvious than hers. Natalie got her first cold that winter, and Jeremy has had diaper rashes. For the most part, their bodies are human.
I was relieved to hear my children would have normal lives, but it gave me new reasons to want to stay human too. I had a chance to be the human role model for my kids, as the only member of the immediate family who wasn't a vampire. I thought it would be good for them to see their dad was like them. Maybe I was just nervous that my grace period was almost up. Was I trying to convince myself that I would be backing out of the deal with Nessie for my kids benefit rather than my own? I didn't know. I kept these feelings from Nessie. She wouldn't react well if she knew I was having second thoughts. She just assumed I would go through with my change as planned, and when our children grew up we'd have Carlisle change them too.
I woke up in a panic one night in June. I was sweating and shaking as I recalled a dark figure standing behind me and reaching for my neck. I always woke up right as the dark figure grasped my neck and yanked.
"Jacob? What's wrong?" Nessie asked me groggily.
"I'm okay. It's just… I had that dream again. Go back to sleep" I whispered.
I sat up, unwilling to reclose my eyes just yet. I looked over at the baby monitor to make sure Jeremy and Natalie were alright in their room. Safe and asleep. A perk to having vampires in your immediate family was a surplus of babysitters willing to work all night long. Luckily, none of them were over that night.
"Jake, you're not okay" Ness replied rubbing her eyes. "Come here, lie next to me."
I inched closer to her and let my head fall back against her shoulder. She wrapped both arms around my shoulders and hugged tightly. I had to admit that I immediately felt better and allowed myself to relax a bit and close my eyes. Nessie's left hand started rubbing my arm and slowly grazed across my chest. She pressed gently as she caressed my muscles, and her lips started kissing my neck.
"What are you doing, Renesmee" I asked playfully.
"Making love to my husband" she whispered in my ear as she slid her thin frame over me.
"You won't be having any more nightmares when I'm through with you" she clarified.
Before I could respond she sat up, straddling my hips, and pulled her nightshirt over her head in one quick motion. We hadn't made love since the twins were born so this was certainly unexpected. I leaned up on my elbows and watched Nessie as she pulled my t-shirt off easily. She removed my boxers next and wound her fingers around my cock. I groaned as her thumb passed over the tip, and then she rubbed me against the wet spot on her panties. I grabbed Nessie's hips and pulled her up to her knees; she braced herself with both hands on my chest. I pulled her panties down her thighs and helped her out of them. With Ness still kneeling over my cock, I positioned myself right at her entrance.
"Ride me, baby" I said, my voice low and full of lust.
She smiled, scraping her nails on my chest as she lowered herself onto my waiting cock. I cried out in pleasure from the feel of her hot center coating me inch by inch. I felt my whole body tense up from her touch and I needed a distraction before I lost control.
"Are you okay, honey, does this hurt you?" I asked her. She shook her head frantically and started grinding up and down on my shaft.
"No, Jake. Baby, you feel amazing."
"Oh fuck, Ness. I missed being inside you" I told her as I ran my hands up and down her soft thighs.
One of the babies made a noise and fidgeted around in the other room. We both looked to the monitor and the sight of sleeping infants reminded me that I desperately needed to get a condom from my nightstand. Nessie had already turned her attention back to my aching body and was slamming her hips down making contact with mine. As I watched myself sliding in and out of her I quickly forgot what I had been thinking about moments before. I reached up to grasp both Nessie's breasts and she started moaning as I fondled them. I twisted her nipples between my thumb and index finger which caused her to yell out her approval.
Ness changed the angle of her gyration, thrusting her pelvic bone down and forward faster and faster. I felt myself teetering on the edge of release and reached for her hips with both hands. Stilling her with my hands I sat up and flipped Nessie onto her back. She squealed in delight as I pushed her knees apart roughly and plunged my length back inside her. She lifted her head to plant kisses on my neck and shoulder as I established a steady rhythm. I started rubbing her clit with one finger when I felt myself getting close to climax.
"Yes!" she cried out under her breath, mindful of the babies.
My brain finally registered again that we weren't using protection just as Nessie's walls started to clamp down around my cock. I held out until her orgasm finally subsided and pulled out seconds before I succumbed to the pleasure; shooting my cum onto her stomach. I groaned and panted as the waves passed over me. I immediately felt terrible for not warning her or asking permission to come on her like that.
When I opened my eyes Ness was looking down at herself giggling. She lay her head back on the bed and threw her arms up over her head sighing in satisfaction. I grabbed my t-shirt that was hanging off the end of the bed and gently cleaned her up. Then I lay back next to her, completely spent, and she snuggled up into my side.
"My God, woman. What has gotten into you?" I asked, my mind still whirling around the events that just took place.
"Nothing. I just wanted to help you sleep" she said innocently, a small smile creeping over her flushed face.
"Ness, didn't you even notice I never put on a condom?" I responded.
"Oh Jake... I got a prescription for the pill when the doctor cleared me for sex at my checkup eight weeks ago" she said stifling a laugh. "I didn't tell you then because it takes a few months to kick in, and honestly I wasn't ready to resume sex just yet."
"Are you sure the pill's gonna work on you, baby?" I asked perplexed by this new information.
"My grandfather said everything with my pregnancy was normal so he was confident my body would respond the same as other women" she said.
I thought for a minute before saying, "So... now you're ready to start having sex again?"
She smiled devilishly and said, "What do you think?" before cupping the back of my neck with her hand and rolling me onto her once again.
The next night we took the babies over to the house so they could spend some time with the family. After Edward had had a few minutes holding the twins and chatting with Nessie I asked him in my head if he would talk to me privately. Without saying a word he excused himself and we snuck down to Nessie's old room where we couldn't be overheard. I needed to ask his opinion on this turning into a vampire business.
"I don't think Jeremy and Natalie should become vampires" I began abruptly.
"I agree with you" Edward replied. His eyebrows furrowed, obviously not understanding where I was going with this. Normally he'd be at least two questions ahead of me. Maybe he was being more careful about listening in to my head?
"Nessie does" I clarified. He was quiet a moment, deciding how to respond.
"Jacob, no one will turn them against their will, even if it is Nessie's desire. And if the twins truly are aging normally you have eighteen years to decide what to do about that. Nessie understands they must be adults first."
"Yes, but if my children have a chance to live normal human lives then I might want to share that with them" I replied hesitantly.
"I see" he said softly. He chuckled under his breath. "Jacob, my daughter is just as stubborn as my wife. I understand what you're saying so I wish you luck in changing Nessie's mind about your little arrangement." He smirked.
"Edward, this is a serious problem. I still can't bear the thought of Nessie's life continuing on forever without me, leaving her alone like that, but the chance to give my kids their humanity?" I pleaded, hoping he'd understand what I was trying to say.
"I do understand, Jacob. You think that if you're turned then you won't be able to convince the twins to stay human."
"Yes" I said, fighting back my emotions.
" I think you're right that if they see their whole family is immortal they will want to be too. You know all too well that I couldn't convince Bella to be the only human member in a family of vampires. I don't expect you'd have much more success with Jeremy or Nat" he said.
"So I'm asking for your help. What do you think I should do, Edward?" I asked.
"You have to be honest with her about what you told me. You can't help the way you feel and she shouldn't get mad at you for expressing your concerns. What Nessie is asking of you is irreversible. It is not something you should do while you still have doubts" he said, a very serious expression crossed his face.
"I know. I know" I said sincerely.
"If I can give you another piece of advice, Jacob. There's a big difference between feeling nervous about being changed, and being undecided about it."
I sat on the edge of Nessie's old bed and put my head in my hands.
"Bella agonized over how her decision would hurt her family but she never second guessed the choice she made" he continued. "You have to make the right decision for you."
I made myself raise my head to meet his eyes with mine.
"I need to be with her forever, Edward. I'm not undecided about that" I said confidently. "My concern now is for my children. I don't know what's best for them."
"Having two parents who love them is what's best for them. You be there as they grow up, teach them right from wrong, and let them decide what they want for their own lives" he said softly.
He patted my shoulder and smiled warmly before leaving me alone to think.
I meant to talk to Nessie about my concerns, I really did, but the following afternoon I came home to find Michele and Annabelle in our house. The twins were asleep in their swings and Annabelle was playing with blocks on the floor. This wasn't the first time Nessie and Michele had gotten together since the babies were born but both women seemed quiet and agitated when I walked in. I didn't know what had occurred while I was at work but I could tell something wasn't right.
"Jake, how old are you?" Michele asked me directly without so much as a hello.
I glanced over at Nessie and saw fear in her eyes. When I turned back to Michele I saw she was holding my high school yearbook in her lap. When we moved here I pretended to be 18 so I could enroll in college as a freshman, and because I still looked 18. Which meant Jason and Michele thought I was now about 20, but here was Michele sitting with physical proof in her hands that I'd been lying. I didn't know what else to say so I told her my real age.
"I'm 27" I said, scratching the back of my head nervously. "I lied about my age when I moved to town because, ah, Nessie was so much younger than me and we didn't want people to talk." That seemed plausible enough to me.
Michele asked, "Why do you look exactly the same now as you do in this yearbook?"
She held it up so I could see it was from my sophomore year. Shit. That picture was taken right after I joined the pack and cut my hair… when I was 16 years old. It had been two years since I stopped phasing and I knew for sure I was aging again, but obviously not enough to ease the suspicions of my friend's wife.
"Have you stumbled upon the fountain of youth, Jacob?" she asked sarcastically. "Otherwise, I don't see how you can still look like a 16 year-old boy ten years after graduating!"
"I, uh, am just lucky I guess" I replied.
"I need to go" Michele said abruptly. She yanked her daughter off the floor startling her to tears. She grabbed her purse from the coffee table and looked cautiously at Nessie and then me before hurrying out the front door.
"I'm so sorry, Jake!" Nessie said the second Michele was gone.
"How did she find my yearbook?" I asked.
"She called this morning wanting to visit the twins. She said Annabelle needed some social interaction so I invited them over for lunch. We were just sitting having coffee, talking about our childhoods and high school experiences, when Michele asked to see my yearbook. I didn't think anything of it since it was only two years ago for me. Nat started crying so I told Michele where my yearbook was in our room. I was feeding Nat when Michele came back with both our books."
"It's okay. So it seems weird that I still look like a teenager. That doesn't mean she's going to figure us all out. I'm not even one of you yet. Trust me, she'll never come to the conclusion that I'm a retired werewolf" I said with a chuckle.
The idea of it was actually kind of funny.
"But Jake, I didn't even tell you the worst part yet" Nessie said, tears forming in her beautiful brown eyes. "I think she came here purposely to look at our pictures."
"Why do you think that?" I asked, new fear rising up inside me.
"The last time we hung out together Grandma and Grandpa dropped by to visit the babies while she was here. When Grandpa introduced himself as Dr. Carlisle Cullen she got this funny look on her face, like she knew him. And today she tells me her grandmother was treated by a Dr. Cullen many years ago. Like, maybe forty years ago…"
"What? How would Michele even know that?" I asked. This was bad.
"Apparently this Dr. Cullen treated her grandmother after a car accident and she likes to tell the story of the handsome doctor who saved her life."
"Why didn't Carlisle just tell her it was his father and not him?" I questioned.
"She didn't tell me she made the connection until today. She said she googled Grandpa and showed her grandmother his picture and of course she recognized him."
"Shit. Well, maybe her grandmother is too old to remember correctly. Maybe Michele could have shown her a picture of Noah Wyle and she'd have been just as positive that was the doctor from her accident!"
"Yeah, maybe" Nessie said. "Except now Michele sees that you and I don't appear to be aging either."
"We're fucked" I said loudly.
"Shhhh, the babies" she corrected me.
"Sorry. We're fucked" I whispered
Hey dear fans! I hoped you enjoyed the chapter! Please like, comment and share!
-Love Nisha AKA Miss-Traveler