The sun started rising in the east over the mountains before I realized how long I'd been hiding in my car on this deserted road. There was nothing else to call it except hiding. It was a lot easier to run away from my problems when I had four legs. I could have been in the Canadian wilderness by now, but no, instead I was sitting in the Rabbit after it broke down while I was fleeing from the woman I loved. I was pathetic. I was also still mad. So I stayed where I was.
Once the sun was officially up I pulled out my cell and turned it back on. I didn't listen to the voicemails, and there were a lot of them. I just called the one person in the world I wanted to talk to.
"Hello?"
"Hey Bells" I said.
"What's wrong, Jake? Is Nessie alright?" she asked, worried.
"Yes, she's fine. It's me that's falling apart."
"What? Jacob, you're scaring me. What's going on?" she demanded.
"Bells, can you please come pick me up so I can talk to my best friend? I am in serious need of the girl who trips over flat surfaces and drives an old truck… who thinks she's middle aged. I'm talking the slave for life kinda friend, like old times Jake and Bells. And don't tell anyone, please" I begged.
"Anything you want. But I do have to tell Edward, he's lying next to me" she explained. Then she giggled at something he did and I heard her shush him. I rolled my eyes at myself in the rearview mirror.
"Tell him that your best man needs you for a while and you can continue your sexcapades later."
"Jake, we weren't in the middle of… that" she assured me.
"Sure, sure. Just take a car so you can give me a ride. And please tell Edward to check on Nessie if she's there, she might need someone to talk to" I replied. I hoped she hadn't stayed at my apartment. I didn't want her to be alone.
"Did you two break up?" she asked, worried again.
"No, this is worse. Just come and I'll explain. I drove north on Canyon Creek Rd and turned right on Tollgate Rd. That's where the Rabbit broke down."
"Okay, I'll find you" she said.
While I waited for Bella I thought over the argument I'd had with Nessie. It was awful. She cried, I cried. Then I just had to get away. I left her alone in my apartment, begging me not to go, but I had to get a break from the fight. We'd never fought like that before. We'd never fought much at all, really. We had always wanted the same things before. Everything else just fell into place as long as we were together. For the first time we were being faced with something we couldn't agree on- separation from one another. I just couldn't believe what she was asking me. In her mind it was the perfect solution. I just become like her family and bam, we live happily ever after.
I tried to explain to her my aversion to vampires. I thought she already knew how I felt, but I only insulted her by going into the details of why I'd never want to become like them. I hated the thought of my skin being so cold and hard, having a heart that didn't beat, always fighting the desire to drink the blood of human beings… why would anyone want that? I still didn't understand how Bella had chosen to join them so easily.
I know I promised to love Nessie forever, but who's to say how long forever should be? My feelings for her hadn't changed one bit. I still knew I couldn't live without her, but the chance to have my human life back was surprisingly appealing. I promised Nessie eternity when I was a werewolf but deep inside I felt it was a sacrifice. I was more than willing to make it to be with her. Now that I was different, normal, again I felt blessed to be given my natural life back. The price I'd have to pay to make good on my promise to her would mean throwing away that blessing.
