It was such a hard night I kept seeing Nigel's coffin over and over and over again each time I closed my eyes.
My baby would not stop kicking me. Maybe it was telling me to go to sleep or it's ok Mum I need you to be happy.
The next morning when we got up Jay was in a really bad mood. I didn't want to speak as just one word could have set him off. I remember thinking 'what have I done wrong?, was he upset about me being sad about Nigel?' I needn't have bothered.
As bub had not stopped kicking me all night I needed to have a bath. I told Jay I was going to go and have a bath as my back was really sore and my tummy was itchy (I put vitamin E oil in the bath the help stop stretch marks). He didn't respond and just went to the kitchen.
I took myself off and started running the bath. The bath was very deep so it took a while to fill and being pregnant I needed a lot of water to cover my tummy. Just as I reached over and turned off the hot then cold tap I sensed someone behind me. I went to turn around and noticed it was Jay.
Jay lunged forward and drove my head in to the bath holding it under. I struggled and tried to kick at him but because I was pregnant it was really hard as he was by this stage staging beside me. It felt like forever that I was struggling with him when he pulled my hair back and screamed at me "you are a piece of shit, BITCH". "Jay what's wrong why are you doing this" I responded.
He didn't respond he just punched me right between my shoulders which jolted my head forward and my chin hit the edge of the bath. He pulled me up by my hair and again pushed my head under the water. I didn't have much strength left after the first struggle but I didn't want to die and I honestly felt like I was going too.
After I stopped struggling he pulled me out by my hair and dragged me to the lounge room where he threw me onto my back and sat on my breasts pinning my arms down with his knees.
He didn't care this time about leaving marks on my face and this was always one saving grace for me. Every time I had marks on my face I couldn't go out or if I did I had to wear a lot of makeup to cover it up and I certainly couldn't see my mum.
I was screaming this time "SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!!!" I pleaded over and over again but as it was mid morning everyone was out. To be honest I don't think that any if the neighbours would have heard me or I hope they didn't as I would really like to think someone would come to my rescue when I screamed for help. I never screamed before as it only got worse but this time I wanted to be rescued as I honestly thought he would kill me.
Jay finally covered my mouth but at the same time he covered my nose so I found it hard to breath. You would have thought after all my years at Karate I would have been able to fend him off. The truth is I had lost my confidence and my strength to this person. He completely controlled me.
Every time Jay removed his hands from my mouth he would hit me over and over again. I gave up screaming and got to the point where I just didn't care anymore.
I heard a knock at the door and thought finally someone has came to save me. I screamed out "PLEASE HELP ME!"
I completely forgot I had made plan with Trisha who I hadn't seen in a long time to go and buy my mum some flowers and walk up and give them to her at the shop.
"Emily!! Are you OK?" Trisha screamed back. By this time Jay had jumped up and told me to stay and don't say a word. He went to the door and opened it and said "hey Trisha, what are you doing here?" Trisha just pushed past him and went to where she had heard the crying (the lounge room) I had moved over behind a wall and was curled up as much as a pregnant girl could be. "Oh my God Emily!" She said as she touched my face. She quickly stood up and flew over to Jay "you fucking prick, what have you done?" "Emily, get up we're going" she said to me. She had to come and help me up. As we got up Jay was standing directly behind her and as she spun around he tried to spin her some crap about me doing something but to be honest I can't remember his words as all I can remember is this girl standing up to him and screaming at him and getting me out of the house. As I got to the bottom of the stairs with Trisha walking closely behind she turned around and looked Jay straight in the face "If you EVER! Touch her again you will pay you piece of scum" she barked at him.
Jay looked at me from the top of the stairs and said if you go you will never find anyone else your pregnant and a whore. I know he was just upset that someone had come to help me and I knew what would happen later. I told Trisha "I'm fine Trisha, really!, Jay we will be back soon we are just going to get some flowers for mum." I really don't know why I said that to Trisha as I was lying she had seen for herself but I was still trying to protect him. Everyone must have thought I was crazy at the time well not everyone because really I didn't socialise as I wasn't allowed to see my friends we were always doing Jay's stuff.
As we got just a little down the road to the park, Trisha sat me down on the park bench and asked me how often this happens. I lied to her again and said "this was the first time, I really must have done something to upset him, please don't get involved Trisha" she looked at my batter and red face and reached in to her bag and got out her make up "you can't be seen like this Emily, we can't have your mum worrying and this is the last thing I will say about Jay. I don't like him, I don't trust him and if he ever does this again call me straight away" at this moment I felt loved and cared for and I cried, Trisha was true to her word and never spoke of it again.
She did my makeup ever so gently and we headed down the street. I brought my mum a beautiful bunch of yellow roses (they are her favourites). We went and saw my mum. I wasn't dressed the best as I was wearing my around the house clothes and mum recognised this but Trisha had done such a good job on my makeup that mum could see the marks. We had a cup of tea with mum and I headed home to see Jay and hope that he had calmed down....