William hadn't locked himself up for two days as Eliza had assumed. He had been sick. The moment he got out after that argument with her, he had felt his feet stumbling and as soon as he entered his own house, he collapsed. His vision darkened and the familiar pain of migraine gripped every inch of his body as he fell face-first on the floor. Before he was completely unconscious, he remembered hearing hurried footsteps and the ground vibrating as Harvey Scott entered the room.
William was unconscious for seven hours and when he woke up, he had found Harvey sitting on his bed while he lay resting. He tried to get up but Harvey signalled him to stay as he was. He groaned and lied back down.
"What happened?" he asked, letting out a painful moan as his head still hurt.
"A lot of things," Harvey answered and William was afraid of why that might be.
"Is Eliza okay?" he quickly questioned.
Harvey stared at him for what felt like hours before he spoke, "She's fine. It's you I am worried about."
"What's wrong with me?"
"You are dying, son."
He froze when he heard that, his face displaying all kinds of emotions as he watched Harvey, perplexed.
"What do you mean?"
"The migraine you had been getting all these days, I heard and saw. You and Eliza in this very room, when she gave you regular massages. I knew something was wrong. Eliza was upset with you but she still helped you and I understood that those weren't ordinary migraines," Harvey explained.
"But why am I dying?"
"Because you're a burden." The grave change in Harvey's voice made William flinch and he saw the man get up from the bed to pace around the room, one hand on his back and the other rubbing his stubbled chin. He stopped, then sighed and turned to face William again.
"The cosmos," he began. "It doesn't want you here. The real you already exists in some part of this world. The you in this time is the owner of all the resources created for you, even the air you breathe and the ground you walk on. This you, the one looking at me with those confused eyes, is a ghost. You are a ghost. A ghost that has become a liability to the universe. There can't be two of you. There can be only one and that one lives somewhere else. You need to die and your body needs to be lost in oblivion. The migraines you get is just a warning and with each migraine, your time is nearing—"
"What's gonna happen to me?" William intervened before Harvey could continue.
Harvey let out a deep exhale, closing his eyes and then opening them as he searched for the words to let out.
"You are going to die but not like how normal humans die. Your death will be more like a disappearance and you will be lost in the doors of time until the time comes for your life force to mix with the real you after the real you turns the same age. You will then be one again and won't remember anything about this timeline. You will go on living your life but for that, you have to die. A part of you will have to disappear until the right time comes."
Fear engulfed his veins and William felt like a coward because he was afraid now...afraid of dying.
"I can't. I can't die. I need my Eliza. I don't want to forget her. I want to go back. I want my wife. You can't just come over and throw shit like that upon me Harvey Scott. It's not right," he yelled at Harvey and saw the latter's jaw tick.
"Calm down, son. You need rest," Harvey said calmly.
"What should I do?" William asked frantically. "What should I do so that everything returns to normal?"
"You can't do anything. Only Eliza can save you because you don't want to save yourself. If she chooses to marry you, only then can you be saved. Or else, you have to forget her and eventually, you will. You will be gone. Your love...dead."
***
When William finished narrating the entire incident to Eliza, he saw her expression turn anxious. She was still on his lap, her arms still around his neck but her eyes were no longer shining and the look on her face was nothing like it was before. She was serious and her mouth hung open in shock as she stared at him.
"Eliza," he called to her and she blinked before a change on her countenance took place and she quickly got down from his lap, standing far away from him. He rose and stood facing her, nervous about what might happen next.
"Eliza," he said, taking a step towards her but she backed away.
"Stay back!" she exclaimed. "Just stay back!"
"Eliza, what's wrong?" He got nervous when he saw her looking around the room, running her hands through her hair.
"This can't be!" she cried. "You can't die. No. You can't be a ghost."
William gulped as the words escaped her mouth. He walked closer until he was just an inch away from her.
"I'm not a ghost, Love. I'm William. Your William."
Eliza raised her eyes to look at him and suddenly, she had tears in her eyes.
"No, you can't be. Just go back."
"Where? Where shall I go?" he asked, puzzled.
"Just convince my father to send you back from wherever you came from," she said as she continued sobbing loudly.
"I can't go back. If I go back now then you won't be in my life."
"Then let me go. I don't have to be in your life as long as you live. Just save yourself, William. Go back, please."
He couldn't believe her words. He placed a hand on her shoulder and she shrugged but he didn't let her go as he pulled her into a bone-crushing hug.
She was so little that for a moment he felt like he could kill her but he didn't want to let go. He was shivering, not because of the water she poured on him but he was starting to believe Harvey's words.
(You are a ghost)
He knew all about ghosts. They were the creatures that walked all their lives in the dark. They were the creation of the Devil. They were the rulers of fear and everything heinous to look at but most of all, in his creation, they were honest. Honest in accepting themselves. Honest in accepting the evil in themselves. Honest in the fear they create. That's how he described ghosts in his books. He feared to be honest. Honest people didn't get to live long.
'Ghosts don't lie'
Eliza wriggled in his grip as she tried to push him away but he didn't want to let go. He was so scared that the only place he believed his peace lay now was in her arms. He closed his eyes and inhaled her scent. He wanted to be a camera and capture every bit of her to savour it in his heart.
"I'm not going to a life without you. I have no life without you. Whatever may happen, I'm not going anywhere." His voice quavered.
When he heard her struggle increase, he let go of the hug but still held her close by her waist as he peered into her beautiful green and sad eyes.
"I can't do what you ask of me, William. I can't marry you," she repeated the words which he was tired of hearing.
"Don't do this...I know you love me," he said and he wasn't worried about how shameless he might have sounded because all he wanted was his Eliza back.
"I don't love you. I don't know how to love," she cried out and the sentence pierced his heart when memories flashed before his eyes.
(I don't know how, Mark. I don't know how)
Unable to control his emotions, he pushed Eliza and pinned her against the wall, his eyes searching desperately for a hint that she was lying.
He prayed for her to be lying.
"You can't say that. You claimed that you love me. You're the one who taught me what love is. You said you will always stay." He lowered his face and kissed away the tears streaming down her cheeks.
Eliza placed her hands on his shoulders, gripping him tight.
"I never said that, William. I can't love you. Trust me, I will fail. Just go," she begged but William wasn't listening for he was busy opening his blazer and soon it was on the floor, his shirt followed next and all the while, his kisses grew more frantic as he found himself losing in her. He wanted to forget this conversation and make her forget it too. He grabbed her waist as his lips found the sweet spot behind her ear and he nibbled at a perfectly sensitive soft and he heard her moan.
"Please leave me. Let me go."
"Never."
His kisses travelled low and he kissed her all over. From her throat, raining down her neck and between her breasts, through the fabric of her clothes which he was desperate to rip apart.
"William, stop."
He wasn't listening and instead, he knelt and his hands travelled up her legs.
"William, stop!" she ordered, and this time, her voice lost the grief which it had been laced with and he stopped just as he was about to trace the spot between her legs with his lips.
He let go of her dress and lifted his head to look up at her, disappointed. She was looking at him with her bewitching and upset eyes. Her lips formed a thin line and the grip of her hands on his shoulders loosened and she pushed him, making him lose his balance and fall to the floor.
"Eliza..." he said. "I'm sorry."
She corrected her dress and passed him to pick up her coat from his bed. He stood up and watched her as she wore her boots.
"You're leaving?" he asked but she didn't answer him.
She walked to the door and he looked on, his heart crushing at her retreating steps. She stopped with her hand at the knob and turned to look at him.
"I'm not marrying you, William Ray. You will be foolish enough if you stay. So pay heed to my advice and leave, before you die." She opened the door, stepping out and pulling it close behind her.
He stood there, half-naked, staring at the door, expecting her to return like she always did but she didn't. She had promised. She had promised she would love him forever and now she was leaving him. He remembered her words. The words that had struck his heart. The words that had made him marry her in the first place. The words that she wrote to him in that letter. The letter that started it all.
'I will be your preacher and you will be my pride and all you have to do is never leave my view.'