Steve does everything possible to make sure Natasha comes home from Vormir.
Steve had always known that he would die for Natasha. He loved her more than anything and although he'd never been given the chance to tell her, that would never change.
When he found out that she had been the cost of defeating Thanos and bringing everyone back, he was heartbroken.
The last five years with the two of them alone together had been the last memories he would ever get to make with her.
He felt like he had wasted them.
He had five fucking years to tell her that he loved her and he'd been too much of a coward to do so.
Now he was utterly and completely heartbroken.
He had mourned for weeks before the opportunity had arisen for him to return the stones.
Bruce had assured him that it wouldn't be possible to bring Natasha back but Steve was determined.
It was a soul for a soul and he had devised a plan to do exactly that.
He didn't tell anyone but Clint.
Everyone else would just tell him it was impossible and that he shouldn't get his hopes up.
Clint understood his desperation. But even he didn't know that Steve had a back up plan.
He wasn't planning on returning without Natasha. Without her, there was nothing left for him here.
"Be careful Steve. Bring her back to us if you can," Clint told him that day that he was leaving.
Steve nodded, "I will."
Clint pat him on the shoulder before walking away. Bruce walked up and handed him the briefcase containing all the stones, "You know what to do?"
Steve nodded, "Yeah. I've got this."
Bruce nodded, "Let me know when you're ready."
Steve walked over to Sam and Bucky, "You guys look out for each other. If anything happens on this mission, the world is still gonna need a Captain America."
Bucky gave him a sad smile, if anyone knew what he was planning it would be him, "Be careful Steve. Don't do anything stupid."
Steve smiled, "How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you."
Bucky nodded at him.
"Good luck Steve," Sam said.
Steve nodded, "Thanks Sam."
With that, he stepped on the platform and nodded at Bruce, "I'm ready."
Bruce nodded and pressed a button, counting down from five.
Then Steve was gone.
-------------------------------------------
Steve saved Vormir for last. Now that everything had been returned but the soul stone he could barter for Natasha's life for the rest of his own if that was what it took.
He wasn't leaving there without her.
He hiked his way up to the peak of the mountain where she had met her demise, clutching the briefcase in his hand tightly.
When he finally made it to the top, there was a hooded figure waiting for him. It moved further into the light and Steve frowned.
"You," He said, recognizing the red skull instantly, "I thought you were dead."
"I was sent to be a guardian of the soul stone as punishment. You are too late Steven. It's already been taken."
"I know. I'm returning it," Steve said, holding up the briefcase.
"No one has ever returned the stone before."
Steve resisted the urge to roll his eyes, "Well I am. And in exchange I want Natasha back. A soul for a soul, right? I return this and she returns. The exchange reverses."
"It doesn't work like that."
Steve's hand around the briefcase tightened, "You just said no one had ever returned the stone before. Make it work like that."
"I cannot. Her trade was permanent. You cannot trade the stone for a life."
"Why the hell not?!" Steve yelled, his voice raising.
"I don't make the rules. I just know that it will not work. You are wasting your effort. If you don't believe me then simply return the stone. She will not return in it's place."
Steve unfastened the briefcase and used his gloved hand to pull out the soul stone. Walking towards the edge of the cliff, he stared at it a moment longer before letting it fall from his fingers.
He turned away, not being able to bear the thought of looking down the cliff and seeing Natasha's lifeless body twisted in a way that would probably haunt him the rest of his life.
Steve waited silently for something to happen.
A few moments passed and there was a rush of color and a gust of wind that nearly knocked Steve down. When it died down, he was still alone.
"The trade is complete," The Red Skull said.
Steve frowned, spinning around to check for Natasha. She should be here. The trade should have reversed.
"No," He whispered, his eyes welling up with tears, "I'm not leaving without her."
"Then you'll be here for eternity. Like I've said. The stone does not count as a soul. A soul for a soul."
Steve looked out at the view that Vormir provided and couldn't help but be reminded of he and Natasha's moment in Sokovia.
"Where else am I gonna get a view like this?" She had said, accepting death without hesitation.
Steve would argue that the view here was better. He hoped Natasha had thought the same in her last moments.
His mind was racing. He wasn't leaving without her. He'd promised himself that.
But that didn't mean she couldn't leave without him.
"What if I sacrificed myself for her."
The Red Skull looked surprised, "What?"
Steve spoke up again, this time louder, "If I sacrificed myself for her, would she return? A soul for a soul right? Mine for hers."
"No one has ever tried that."
"Would it work," Steve said, growing more desperate.
The Red Skull slowly nodded, "According to the rules of the stone, yes."
Steve sat down on a nearby branch and pulled the extra suit he had brought for Natasha in hopes of her returning. He put the correct coordinates in so that she'd return to the correct time.
He pulled out a small notepad and pencil and began to write her a short letter to explain what she needed to do. He'd left a longer more in detail one back at the compound but he knew no amount of notes would make this easier for either of them.
Once he had finished he folded the paper neatly on top of the suit and wrote her name in big letters.
He stepped towards the edge of the cliff again and looked back at the Red Skull, "Just make sure she sees what I've left for her and don't tell her what happened."
The Red Skull nodded, he still looked confused at what Steve was doing.
Steve looked out at the horizon again and thought about Natasha. Her red hair, bright smile, and beautiful green eyes. He closed his eyes and imagined getting to see her again. It wasn't going to happen anytime soon, but one day, he'd be able to tell her how much he loved her in person rather than in a letter.
"I love you Nat," He whispered into the air, before letting himself fall forward off the cliff.
---------------------------------------------------
Natasha's eyes shot open the moment she realized she was laying in a shallow puddle of cold water.
She sat up and looked around, her hand instinctively going to her head.
She was supposed to be dead. How was this possible?
There was no one else around her, further confusing her. She'd wondered if maybe returning the stone would bring her back but there was no one here to return the stone.
Natasha stood up and noticed a suit folded neatly with an envelope on top that had her name on it.
She recognized the suit as one from the time heist and looked at the time it was set to return to, it was a date a few weeks after when she had sacrificed herself.
She opened the letter and instantly recognized the handwriting as Steve's.
Nat,
If you're reading this then I've somehow brought you back. I can explain how when you return to the compound. I've already put the correct coordinates in. This suit is just like the ones we had a few weeks ago. Just press the button when you're ready to return and someone will be waiting for you.
Love,
Steve
Natasha set the letter down, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. If Steve had brought her back then why wasn't he here?
Maybe the trade had taken a while and he had given up hope and returned home.
She pushed her confusion aside and pulled on the suit Steve had left for her as quickly as she could.
Honestly, she didn't care how Steve had returned her, she just wanted to see him.
The only regret she had about dying was not telling Steve she loved him before she did. Now she had a second chance.
She tucked the letter into a pocket on the suit and looked around Vormir one last time before pressing the button that would return her to the present.
The one that would return her to Steve.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Returning in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1," Bruce said, pressing a button that was meant to bring Steve back.
There was a flash of light and when it faded, Natasha stood on the platform looking around the forest.
Sam and Bucky looked at each other while Bruce stared at her with his mouth open.
"Natasha?" Sam finally asked.
She smiled and stepped off the platform. Sam gathered her into a hug, relieved to see her alive.
"Where's Steve?" He asked.
Natasha pulled away, her eyebrows furrowing, "I was about to ask you guys the same thing. He left a note on Vormir saying that he would explain how he got me back when I came here."
Bruce frowned, "He went to return all the stones and didn't return. You came in his place."
Natasha frowned, "How is that possible? I didn't see him in Vormir."
She pulled out the letter and handed it to Sam, "Look. This was left alone with my suit."
Sam unfolded the letter and began to read it carefully.
Bucky walked towards Natasha, his eyes not meeting hers.
"You should go check his apartment," Bucky whispered to her.
Natasha looked at him, scanning his face for a hint at what he may know but eventually just nodded.
"If he shows up make sure he knows where I am."
Bucky nodded, though he didn't expect his best friend to be returning.
Natasha walked away from the forest and broke into a jog towards his apartment in the compound.
She hoped no one would recognize her. She needed to find Steve, then she'd reunite with the rest of her loved ones.
When she got to his apartment, she opened the door quietly and crept inside, closing the door behind her.
It was completely empty, so she moved towards his bedroom.
She knocked on the door softly before opening the door and stepping inside.
Again, it was empty.
But laying on his bed was another envelope with her name on it.
Natasha frowned and sat down on the bed before opening it.
Natasha,
I hope that you won't ever read this letter, because I've got about a hundred plans before the one that means you read this and if I made it to this plan, you're going to hate me for what I've done.
When you died, I was more heartbroken then I have ever been before. It's hard to imagine a life without you because you're my everything. I wish I had been able to tell you this in person but I've been a coward for the last ten years of my life and missed my chance.
I love you.
I always have. Even when you tease me about being a dinosaur when in reality I'm barely older than you.
Which is why I knew that going to Vormir, I wasn't leaving without you. There's nothing here for me without you. You, Bucky, and Sam are my family and those two can handle losing me.
That's why I decided that if I can't trade the soul stone for you, then I'll find another way.
Bruce explained it to me a thousand times. The trade is a soul for a soul.
Everyone misses you here. Clint and his family are devastated and I think he blames himself for your death.
The world needs you more than me right now.
So my plan if all goes to shit in Vormir is to trade a soul for a soul. Mine for yours. And I know you're going to hate me for this. You'd probably beat the shit out of me if I was there.
I'd deserve it too.
I can't explain how difficult this choice was because I never want to cause you pain and I'm absolutely terrified that you'll be hurt by what I've done.
But every day that the Barton's kids come to me crying and asking for stories about you I'm reminded of how much you mean to so many people. People who would do anything to have you back.
So you can hate me all you want, but please realize I'm doing this because you've got so much left to do.
I wish I could see you and explain this in person but this is the best I can do.
Never forget that I love you Nat.
I'm sorry.
Love,
Steve
Natasha dropped the letter down on the bed. Her eyes filled with tears and she thought for a second that she was going to pass out.
She was here because Steve had sacrificed himself.
He was gone.
"We don't trade lives," Is what he had once said and yet she was sitting here alone because that was precisely what he had done.
His life for hers.
Natasha covered her mouth with her hands and let out a broken sob.
She grabbed the letter and stumbled out of the room where she ran into Bucky, who was looking at her with sympathy.
She shoved the letter into his chest harshly, "Did you know?"
Bucky frowned, "What?"
Natasha hit his shoulder as hard as she could, "Did you know that he was doing this?"
She hit him again, in the chest this time.
"Natasha calm down," Sam said, coming up to try and calm her down.
"No! Did you know that he was going to fucking trade his life for mine?" She yelled, shoving Bucky away.
Bucky shook his head, "No. I knew he wasn't going to come back without you but I had no idea this was his plan."
Sam frowned, "What? What do you mean he traded his life for yours?"
Natasha sank down against the wall, "He traded his soul for mine."
Sam fell silent.
"Son of a bitch," He whispered.
Sam sat down besides her and they sat in silence together for hours until Natasha finally got up to lock herself inside Steve's apartment.
---------------------------------------------------
Natasha stayed mostly inside Steve's apartment for nearly a month.
Her only relief from the grief of losing Steve had been seeing Clint and his family again. Steve had been right in his letter about that, the Barton kids really had missed her.
"Auntie Nat," Lila had said during one of her visits to the Barton household, "Do you miss Uncle Steve?"
Natasha nodded, the mention of her name causing her heart to break down a bit, "I miss him very much."
Lila nodded and stood up and grabbed Natasha's hand, "I need to show you something."
Natasha frowned but followed behind the girl blindly.
Lila pulled her up to her room and sat Natasha down on the bed. She crawled underneath the bed and came back up with a small flash drive.
"Uncle Steve and I made this for your birthday a long time ago but we never got to show you. It was before the snap."
Natasha raised an eyebrow and looked down at the grey flash drive, "What is it?"
"You have to watch it!" Lila said.
Natasha nodded slightly and walked into her guest room with Lila to grab her laptop.
She put the flash drive in and clicked on the file that popped up.
A video popped up and Natasha clicked play.
For a second the screen was black and then Steve and Lila popped up, sitting exactly where she and Lila were now.
Steve nudged Lila and whispered something in her ear. Lila giggled, "Hi Auntie Nat!"
Steve shushed her, "Shh, we have to be quiet or she'll hear us."
Lila frowned and pointed at the camera, "She's supposed to hear us!"
"We want future Auntie Nat to hear us, not the one downstairs."
Lila giggled, "Fine, hi Auntie Nat," She whispered.
Steve smiled and looked at the camera, making Natasha's heart swoon.
"Hi Natasha. If you didn't already pick up on this, you're downstairs cooking with Laura right now so we're trying to be quiet but we wanted to film you a video for your birthday."
Lila nodded, "It was my idea."
Steve laughed, "It was Lila's idea. She thought you would enjoy this more than a card."
Lila nodded again and Steve grinned at the camera, "Happy Birthday Nat."
"Happy Birthday Auntie Nat!!! We love you!"
Steve laughed and nodded before looking over at the door and then back at Lila with wide eyes, "She's coming."
Lila jumped off the bed and stood in front of the camera.
The door opened and Natasha watched herself walk into the room. She looked younger...happier.
"What are you two up to?"
Steve shrugged, "Nothing. Just hanging out."
Lila moved over to where the camera was covered but Natasha could still hear the conversation.
"I think you're full of shit," Natasha replied in the video.
"That's a dollar in the swear jar," Lila told her.
Steve laughed, "I thought shit was two dollars?"
Lila giggled, "It is! Now you owe two dollars too!"
Natasha heard herself laugh, "Alright come on, Laura is almost done with dinner. Let's get down there before this little lady scams us out of more money."
Lila laughed again and moved away from the camera to grab Natasha's hand and follow her out of the room.
"I'll be down in a second okay?" Steve said.
Natasha nodded and shut the door.
Steve looked back at the camera, "Happy birthday Nat."
With that he turned off the camera and the screen went black.
Natasha stared at the screen, tears welling up in her eyes as she longed for one more simple moment like the one she had just witnessed.
"Did you like it?" Lila asked.
Natasha nodded, pulling the girl into her lap, "I loved it. Thank you for showing me this."
Lila nodded, "It was supposed to be yours anyways. Uncle Steve must have forgot we made it."
Natasha smiled, "I'm glad you didn't. Can I hold onto this?"
Lila nodded, "It's yours now."
Natasha sighed and pressed a small kiss on Lila's forehead, "Thank you."
The video didn't fix anything. Natasha still missed Steve like hell and everyday without him was another reminder that she'd never stop missing him.
But watching that video reminded her that he had always loved her. It was reassuring in a way.
So while he was gone, and there was no changing that, she knew that one day she would be able to reunite with him.
And when that finally happened, she was going to slap the hell out of him for dying for her.
Then she'd kiss him til her mouth bled.
Hey guys. Sorry for the depressing chapter but not really because it's been forever and this was overdo lol. I hope you enjoyed it anyways. Please comment and vote if you did!