Everyone teases Steve about being a virgin but Natasha knows better. I'm gonna go ahead and apologize for my attempt at these terrible jokes lmao.
Steve was used to relentless teasing. Since his defrosting and joining the Avengers, he had heard it all.
There were jokes about his age, his uniform, his patriotism, and most of all, his rumored virginity.
As of lately, the later had been a favorite of his teammates. Particularly Tony.
They seemed to love poking fun at his lack of experience when it came to females and it was getting a little ridiculous.
"Hey Steve, there's going to be a party here tonight and I'm mandating your presence," Tony said one afternoon as Steve walked into the kitchen.
Steve frowned, "Sorry Tony. I can't."
Tony frowned, "Why not?"
Steve scratched behind his ear, "I've got plans."
Tony rolled his eyes, "A date with your right hand isn't plans Rogers. It's sad."
Steve turned a dark red, "No really. I've got plans with a friend. I can't come."
"What friend? You don't have any friends outside the Avengers."
Steve frowned, "Yes I do."
Tony raised an eyebrow, "Name five...not including Peggy."
Steve glared at Tony, "I'm not gonna prove myself to you Stark. I can't make it."
Tony groaned, "Ugh. Well at least I know its not a date. You apparently hate all fun."
Just then, Natasha walked in and Tony directed his attention to her, "Hey Natalie! You're coming to the party here tonight right?"
She shook her head, "Nope. Can't."
Tony sighed, "I hate being the only one here who knows how to have a good time."
Walking into the room, Clint raised an eyebrow, "Who doesn't know how to have a good time?"
Tony pointed at Steve, "Mostly him."
Natasha smirked at Steve, grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and left him alone with the other two men.
"Cap just because you are an old man doesn't mean you have to act like one," Clint said.
Tony nodded, "You surely don't have the experience of one."
Tony and Clint both snickered at that and Steve rolled his eyes before walking towards the elevator.
He took it up to Natasha's floor and knocked on her door once he arrived.
"Hey," She said, opening the door and inviting him inside, "I'm surprised you got away from Clint and Tony that quickly."
Steve rolled his eyes, "They were too busy laughing at my 'lack of experience' to notice me slip out."
Natasha raised an eyebrow, "Lack of experience? Do they think you're still a virgin?"
Steve nodded, "They knew I was a few years ago because Thor got me drunk and it's not like I've had any romantic partners since then. Other than you of course."
Natasha grinned, "Well I'd be happy to let them know otherwise."
Steve shook his head, "It's really not a big deal. Plus I kind of like keeping this between us right now. Who knows how much they'd tease us about dating."
Natasha placed a short kiss on his cheek, "Hm, true. But if I see one more agent try to ask you out I may have to show everyone that you aren't available."
Steve laughed, "Don't tell me that the Black Widow gets jealous?"
Natasha punched his arm, "I don't get jealous, I just don't like watching other women hang all over you."
Steve grinned and bent down to kiss Natasha, "You don't have anything to worry about Nat, I'm all yours."
Natasha grinned, "Prove it?"
Steve laughed and followed her into her bedroom, "Yes ma'am."
-------------------------------------------------------
"So Steve what's it like being the oldest virgin in the world?" Tony asked one night when Steve walked into the common room.
Steve sighed, and shook his head.
"Hey that's not true," Clint started with a wide smirk, "you're forgetting about the Pope."
Tony and Clint both burst into laughter as Steve rolled his eyes.
"Ha. Hilarious," Steve said, walking into the kitchen.
Natasha walked in with a smirk and winked at Steve before walking to the fridge and fixing a large cup of ice water.
She grinned and walked back to the couch, where Clint and Tony were both sitting. She tipped the cup in between the two and smirked when the two both jumped apart.
"Oops," Natasha said, dropping the cup before walking into the elevator.
Steve cleared his throat to stop from laughing and shook his head.
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A few nights later, Tony decided that it would be a great night for the Avengers to get together for what he called a game night.
Natasha sat down besides Steve and handed him a beer before taking a sip from her own.
"What the hell are we doing Stark?" She asked a few minutes later.
Tony grinned, "We're gonna play never have I ever."
Natasha raised an eyebrow, "What the hell are we? High schoolers trying to get drunk?"
Tony shook his head, "It doesn't matter. We're playing it."
Steve frowned, "What's that?"
"It's easy Cap, someone says something they've never done and if anyone has done it, they drink and put a finger down," Clint explained.
"I'll go first," Tony said, "Never have I ever been frozen in ice."
Steve frowned and put a finger down, "That seems like cheating."
Tony shrugged, "There's no cheating if there's no rules."
Steve rolled his eyes, "So who goes next?"
Tony motioned to Bruce, who was sitting besides him.
Bruce looked up from his book, "Um. Never have I ever fought in a war."
Steve frowned and put down another finger, except this time Natasha and Clint did as well.
It was Clint's turn next, "Never have I ever kissed Natasha."
Steve was surprised by that but discreetly put a finger down anyways. As did Bruce.
"What! When the hell did you kiss her Steve?" Tony said, obviously noticing.
Natasha rolled her eyes, "Relax Stark, he did it on a mission so we could get away without being seen."
Tony narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything else.
Natasha sighed, "Okay never have I ever made an Iron Man suit."
Tony glared at her, "That's a low blow."
Natasha shrugged.
Steve tried to think of one because it was his turn, "Uh, never have I ever been married."
Tony and Clint both put a finger down. It was Tony's turn again.
"Never have I ever had sex," He said, putting his own finger down as he said it.
Steve rolled his eyes, of course this was his way of figuring out if Steve was actually a virgin. He sighed and put a finger down, knowing that there was really no point in lying.
"What!" Clint yelled.
Tony looked as though his eyes were going to pop out of his head, "Since when? With who? How!?"
Steve shrugged, "That's not part of the game."
Clint frowned, "Alright fine. Never have I ever had sex before going into a block of ice for seventy years."
Steve didn't put a finger down.
Tony raised an eyebrow. Even Bruce looked very interested in figuring out how their dear Captain America wasn't a virgin.
He looked at Steve with a raised eyebrow, "Never have I ever had a one night stand."
Steve rolled his eyes and didn't put his finger down as the rest of the Avengers did.
Natasha had been sitting with a small smirk for the entire round, "Never have I ever been a male."
Tony sighed, "You're supposed to be helping us."
She shrugged, "Put a finger down Stark."
"Never have I ever liked this game," Steve said, frowning at how the game was going.
Tony, Clint, and Bruce all put a finger down.
It was back to Tony, "Never have I ever slept with a co-worker."
Steve frowned, was Natasha really a co-worker? Ultimately, he put a finger down.
"Steve you scandalous asshole. Who?"
Steve shrugged, "I don't kiss and tell."
Natasha was still smirking.
Clint seemed to pick up on this. He looked between the two, "Never have I ever slept with a redhead."
Steve slowly put a finger down.
Bruce seemed to catch on to what was going on, "Never have I ever slept with a super soldier."
Natasha took a sip of her drink and put a finger down.
"You two had sex?!" Tony yelled, jumping out of his seat.
Natasha shook her head, "Never have I ever been a nosy asshole."
Tony put a finger down without hesitation, "You two can't just not explain this."
Steve smiled slightly, "Can I skip my turn?"
"Fine. I'll go twice to make up for it. Never have I ever dated Natasha and never have I ever been doing so for over a month."
Steve put two fingers down.
Clint's eyes widened, "Never have I ever been dating a teammate for over a year."
Steve and Natasha both put a finger down.
Tony stood up, "Okay game over, you two have some explaining to do."
Natasha smirked, "There's nothing to explain. You thought Steve was a virgin, he wasn't. I took care of that a long time ago. We've been dating for two years now and you're all bad at noticing things. Now if you'll excuse us, we're gonna go."
Steve laughed at her simple response and followed her out of the room while the others stood in shock.
"Well, I guess that was one way to tell them," Steve laughed.
Natasha grinned, "On the bright side, they certainly don't think that you're a virgin anymore."
Steve kissed her, "I wasn't worried about that."
Natasha shrugged, "I know, but it was fun seeing the look on their faces. What do you think they would say if we told them we were engaged?"
Steve laughed, "They'd probably faint. Maybe we should save that news for the next game night."
"Fine by me," Natasha said with a smile before leaning up to kiss him again.
Hey guys. I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. For some reason I can't stop writing these crack fics so I hope you aren't sick of them yet lol. More chapters to come soon! Please comment and vote if you enjoyed!