I decided to skip school the next day. My parents told me I didn't look well and that I should take a day off--and of course I did not argue.
After they left for work that morning I had the house to myself. Being alone with my thoughts is dangerous, so I decided to distract myself by watching tv and cleaning around the house. Around noon I became bored with the show I was watching and I had already cleaned so much that there was practically nothing left to clean up. I didn't want to go lay down on my bed and cry more. That was the last thing I wanted to do, but of course that's what I ended up doing anyways.
I thought all the crying I did last night took all of the pain and sorrow away, but I was wrong. It felt like there was a piece of me missing--like a hole was carved into my heart. Malum and I should have never become so close if he was just going to toss me aside for someone else. He didn't even want to be friends anymore. I thought he and I could try to at least continue our friendship, but I knew that wouldn't work out for either of us. My feelings for him had become too strong. I have never been romantically in love with anyone before, and if this is what love feels like then I don't want it.
Malum left me. The end. I need to get over this heartache, I need to get over him. My emotions are something I try to keep hidden and that wasn't working well at the moment.
I continued to lay in my bed and let my tears flow for a few hours until I noticed the sun setting outside. Did I really spend half of the day crying? Jeez, what a waste of a day. Maybe if I went back to school tomorrow things would become easier. I wouldn't have time to dwell on these negative emotions if I gave my classes my undivided attention. That sounded like a good idea.
___________________
My plan failed. I was sitting in my History class and I still had not removed Malum from my thoughts. The worst part was, he wasn't even in school today. You would think if the object of my torment wasn't present it would make my pain dwindle, but that was not happening.
I let out a light groan. I didn't want to be here--what was I thinking coming to school today? My body was weak and mentally I was feeling weak as well. I hadn't eaten since Monday morning and my stomach kept growling. How annoying. Lunch was only two more hours away, I know I can starve myself a little longer until then.
After History class was finished I began walking towards my locker, trying to kill as much time as I could before my next class began.
The combination of my locker was laughably easy. "Turn the lock clockwise until you reach 1, then turn counter clockwise until you reach 2, then clockwise again until you reach 3." What a joke. My locker opened and I saw something fall onto the floor.
It was a piece of paper in the shape of a square. I picked it up and realized it wasn't paper, it was a polaroid photo. I flipped it over to reveal the image on the front. What I saw made me want to scream and cry at the same time.
Malum and I were sitting in chairs, laughing, under a bright starry sky. This was taken at the Halloween party. I was even wearing his coat in this picture. What the hell was going on? Who took this photo? Why did they take this photo? Was someone stalking me--or him? This didn't make sense.
There was a tap on my shoulder and I jumped. Damn it that scared me. I quickly shoved the polaroid into my pocket and turned around. Katy was standing there with a slight smile on her face.
"Hey Grace, how are you feeling? I noticed you weren't at school yesterday. Did you have a cold or something"?
Like Autumn, Katy was one of my kinder friends. I wish that I could spend more time with her since she is always so caring about everyone. If only I cared that much about other people, then maybe I would be able to focus on someone else instead of Malum.
I let out a sigh, trying to fake that I had been sick yesterday. "Yeah I got one of those twenty four hour colds. Luckily I woke up feeling much better this morning. Thanks for asking Katy. How have you been?"
"I'm glad to hear that you're okay. I was worried when I didn't see you yesterday--and I'm okay, a little nervous about this big test that is coming up in my math class tomorrow, but other than that I guess I'm fine." She replied with a smile.
"Don't worry about your math test Katy. You'll do great. You always get good grades even when you aren't trying."
"Oh Grace, you're right. I always worry way too much. Especially over the dumbest things too sometimes. I really need to take a yoga class or something."
The bell rang. "Well Katy I will talk to you later. Don't stress out too much okay girl? Take my advice!" I winked at her and she nodded her head.
Katy will be fine. I put my hand in my pocket and felt the polaroid. I had almost forgotten that I had it. Almost.
____________________
That night I didn't get much sleep. Having the polaroid fall out of my locker had really set me on edge. I was already heartbroken from my friendship with Malum ending, but now I'm forced to be reminded of it because of this photo. I also wanted to know who took the photo--and why. Why had this person been spying on us? It's not like we are drug lords or members of the mafia or something like that. No. We were just two average high school teenagers. Well, I should say one average high school teenager. Because the other was nowhere near average. Malum and average shouldn't even belong in the same sentence. It would be insulting.
I groaned out loud and put my head down on my desk. I could tell that today was going to be another miserable day. As much I wanted to forget Malum and just move on, I still wasn't able to.
On my way to lunch I went to my locker to grab some of my books. Okay that's not the only reason I went to my locker. Secretly I was hoping that another polaroid would fall out of my locker again. The first polaroid is a mystery--and with all good mysteries, you need more clues to completely solve it.
After opening my locker I expected something to fall out, but nothing did. I moved around all of my books and other random junk in my locker just in case there was something trapped, but there was nothing. Only my belongings were there.
So no more clues today. Or maybe ever. I didn't know. Maybe the reason someone put this in my locker was just to make me feel even worse than I already did. What a cruel joke.
I sighed and headed to the cafeteria.
The room was already filled with students and I saw my usual group of friends sitting near the back. In all honesty, I didn't feel like socializing with anyone today. My mood was down in the dumps and I really did not want to drag anyone else down with me.
I glanced around the room looking for an empty table and saw one nearby. I gave one last glance at my group of friends, trying to find out if anyone had even noticed me enter the lunch room, but it seems none of them had. What a relief. I scurried over to the empty table and started eating my lunch.
Sitting here by myself wasn't too bad. Despite the overall loudness of the cafeteria, it was oddly comforting to not have someone talking right next to me and yapping my ear off. This let me have some peace and quiet with my thoughts.
I knew Malum wasn't at school again today, he wasn't in our home room this morning. Whatever, it was probably for the best anyways. I don't know how I'd react if I had to see him again. My life would probably be easier if I just forgot about him and moved on. Having a romantic relationship with someone in high school is a lot of extra work--and honestly I don't think I need anymore stress in my life right now. Maybe I will decide not to date anyone else during the rest of my high school career. A lot less work and stress on my end.
The rest of the school day passed by quickly. Soon enough I was already laying in my bed trying to fall asleep. Keyword-- trying. Sleeping has proven to be difficult for me lately no thanks to the nightmares and the questions floating around in my head. If only I could unravel the mystery of this polaroid. It has only been in my possession for a little over a day and the damn photograph is driving me crazy. Looking at the photo over and over again did not help my mentality either. Every time I saw Malum's smiling face in the photo I could feel the hole he left in my heart growing slightly larger.
I groaned and threw the polaroid on my bedroom floor. Screw this. I don't need to worry about this right now. Malum and I are finished. It's over. The end. I wiped away a few of the tears that had trickled down my face and closed my eyes--finally drifting off to sleep.
___________________________
"Grace. Wake up."
My eyes shot open. I sat up and looked around for the source of the voice, but once again no one was near me. I noticed that I was sitting under the decaying tree in the moonlit field. Of course I'm here again--it's not like I actually wanted to have one night of peaceful sleep.
I stood up and looked around taking in my surroundings. The moon and stars were all in their usual places. The flowers were bright and full of vibrant colors, but the tree looked even worse than it did last time. I let out a sigh--nature and its conservation was something I was passionate about, and seeing this huge tree slowly dying made me upset. It is located in such a beautiful area, but yet it is the only thing here that is dying.
"Grace."
I quickly turned around. The voice was louder this time--as if the source of it was standing right behind me, but of course no one was there.
I sighed. What was happening to me? Why do I keep ending up in this place and why am I hearing this voice?
"Grace, you shouldn't be here." the warm voice called out not in a whisper for once.
I can't control what I dream of. It's not my fault my mind keeps taking me back to this place. However, it is strange that I keep having this recurring dream. The last two dreams I've had weren't even identical. It is as if someone was trying to show me something, like this is all part of a larger story.
I wanted answers, and I wanted them now. "If I shouldn't be here then how come I keep ending up in this place?" I asked.
"You are special Grace. You have always been special. Let me show you." the warm voice replied.
"Show me what?"
"Everything." And with those words the dark purple cloud of smoke appeared and wrapped itself around me.
I couldn't see anything. I couldn't feel anything. I felt my eyes grow heavy like I was being drugged.
What was happening?
"Grace, you will learn, you will know it all very soon." And with those words I blacked out.