Eliza was still. She hadn't moved an inch since her father had started telling his story. Now, he was once again asleep. Slumped against an arm of his chair, he was snoring softly and it was pretty sure to Eliza that even the loudest of sounds wouldn't wake him up. He was wasted.
She looked around and spotted William who was saying something to her but she couldn't hear because she was breathing too fast and her ears kept ringing with her father's words. She kept looking at William as he held her hand and gave a slight shake.
She got up in a swift motion and stumbled but William held her. She looked at him and yanked his hand off to get out. The room was suffocating her. She didn't want to stay close to her Papa. He was a liar. All this time, she thought of herself as the reason for her mother's death but now, everything had changed. Everything was broken now. She was broken. Her head spun as she climbed up the stairs to her room in a hurry. She needed it. She had promised she wouldn't but she needed it.
She threw open the door to her room and ran towards her cupboard. She opened it, not noticing the figure that had crept up behind her and was calling out for her. She rummaged through her entire cupboard but it wasn't there. Her stash wasn't there.
She tried to calm down and took long, deep breaths.
One...two...three
She relaxed a bit and she heard William. He was kneeling beside her.
"Love, please calm down," he said.
His voice was so soft and concerned that Eliza felt more and more devastated. He was feeling sorry for her. She didn't like people feeling sorry for her.
"Leave me alone!" she said, raising the palm of her hand to him, signalling him to go.
She was rummaging through her entire room. She checked under the bed, on her desk and even under her carpet. Where had her father kept it?
Suddenly, a horrific thought caught her mind. "No!" she exclaimed and rushed out of the room to go towards the bathroom. William rushed behind her.
She opened the toilet cover as if to find a clue but closed it shut again, feeling stupid. She looked around, clutching her head between her hands as a sick feeling crept inside her.
Her father threw them.
She knew it. There was no denying. She felt hotter and hotter with each passing second and she walked towards the shower to turn it on. William caught hold of her hand and turned the shower off but little droplets of water had already drenched Eliza and she pushed him away. He stumbled at her sudden show of strength but was right next to her once more, just as quick. She turned on the shower again. She wanted to drown herself but right now, the shower was the only thing available.
"Leave me alone!" she screamed when he grabbed hold of her wrist but now they were both under the shower, getting wet.
"Love, please don't do this. He was drunk. He didn't know what he was talking of," William said but Eliza pushed him again and this time, he must have gotten upset because the next moment, Eliza was pinned against the wall. His one hand was holding her wrists above her head while the other pressed flat against the skinny, wet material of linen covering her body, preventing her movement. One of his fingers touched the bare skin of her abdomen and she shivered at his touch.
"Eliza," he said as he looked down on her. She could feel the intimacy in his voice and as he looked at her with a questioning glance, she took the time to study him.
Distraction. She needed a distraction.
She scanned his blue eyes which were getting darker as the clock ticked somewhere and she could feel the heavy rise and fall of his chest against her bosom. He felt more attractive to her now than he had ever done before and she wanted to know how he would feel with his head between her legs.
She wanted to know the beast within this shell of a broken man. She watched as his eyes moved down her body and back again, making him close his eyes for a moment. There were droplets of water dripping down his hair, his lips, his eyes, the tip of his nose and she wanted to drink him in, to drink the droplets of water that fell off his skin like they were too pure to be wasted. He opened his eyes and she could see the hesitation again in his expression.
"Eliza..." he began.
"Call me 'Love'," she interrupted him and his eyes widened.
"What?" he said after a moment of silence.
Eliza tried to smile a little but it was taking effort because her father's words were still ringing in her ears. But this wasn't about him. This was about William and her need to distract her mind.
"Call me 'Love'."
His eyes deepened as he stared at her. He let go of her wrists but she didn't let him move and pulled him closer by the hem of his sweater. That black sweater that made him look so nerd hot.
"Love," he whispered and Eliza closed her eyes as the warmth of his voice washed over her.
She opened her eyes and looked at him. Tears fell down her cheeks as that small moment of happiness drifted soon and the dark memories came flashing back.
"I need them, William," she said softly.
She saw his jaw tick and his eyes fill with fury before his lips came down crashing on hers. She gasped and clutched his shoulders as he held her by her chin and forced her mouth open to let his tongue in. Eliza moaned when he kissed her roughly.
"Will..." she moaned.
"Shh," he said, against her lips, and she felt like she would die of desire when his hand travelled down her hips and trailed the waistband of her shorts. She moaned in pleasure when he slipped his hand inside her shorts and teased her.
She threw her head back and all the sour memories of the day washed away. She felt him smirk as he kissed her throat and trailed his tongue down her neck, sucking and nibbling at every sensitive spot on her bare skin.
"Do you know how badly I want you? You have no idea the things that go in my head whenever you touch me. I will be the only drug you will need tonight," he breathed in a husky voice that sent goosebumps down her entire body.
He pulled his hand out and she missed him within seconds as he turned off the shower and picked her up by her hips. Her legs wrapped themselves around his waist and she kissed him again.
"In a hurry, Little Witch?" he chuckled as he bit her bottom lip while carrying her out of the bathroom and into her room.
When they were in, he held her with one arm while the other made sure to lock the door. He dropped her on the bed and hovered on top of her, trailing kisses all over. She tucked at his sweater and he quickly pulled himself out of it and threw it across the room. He leaned in to kiss her again and she worked at the buttons of his red shirt. Within seconds, his shirt was gone too. His fingers moved to her top and she lifted herself off the bed to get rid of it. She would never forget how they got rid of each other's clothes.
Slowly.
One by one.
His kisses were wild and forceful. His hands skimmed her waist and she felt like she was being worshipped and her want for him was so overwhelming and needy that she couldn't help but moan in pleasure. A pleasure that she had waited forever ever since the moment he had walked into her class. Ever since the moment he gave her that stare. Ever since the moment he pressed her against the door of her father's workshop. She had wanted him for so long that she couldn't remember the exact time when he had become a part of her existence and she didn't know what to call this feeling.
She knew that she was going to regret this night. But more than that, she knew that he was going to regret it more because his want for her didn't stop at her body. He wanted her more than she ever wanted herself. He loved her. She could feel that love at every kiss and every touch of his. He loved her and she was afraid that she couldn't return that love. He wanted her to marry him but she didn't want that. She didn't trust herself with family. She didn't know how to have one.
If only she knew how.
Moments later, their linen lay on the floor and as they devoured each other, Eliza whispered to William the only words which she felt would make her guilt lesser.
"Don't be gentle with me tonight."
"Bad things are never gentle," he whispered back with a smirk.
Neither was he.