~~~
double update, fuck yeah
here's the continuation of the last chapter
~~~
For the nth time that past hour, Yeonjun let out another sigh as he cupped both of his cheeks in front of the body length mirror.
He'd been staring at himself for a while now and couldn't help but notice that he had gained a few weights which triggered some of his insecurities to be out in the open.
Yeonjun couldn't understand those people who kept on complimenting him about his looks, saying that he's adorable, handsome, pretty and shit because now, staring at this mirror, all he could see was a person who looked like shit.
He became too tan for his liking after that one charity event and then his baby fats were showing more visibly on his cheeks and chin that he couldn't help but be disgusted about. And then, there came his hair, it looked boring as fuck and not soft enough and his eyes looked tired. The bags under them accentuating his point and fuck, his skin looked too dry for him. He felt so ugly and shameful and his mind was spinning and going on about how undesirable he might appear now.
His breath then got caught in his throat as that one particular thought entered his brain. He stared at his reflection in horror, mouth running dry.
What if—what if Soobin found me horrible and not want me anymore?
Yeonjun shivered at that, heart dropping to his stomach and he unconsciously bit his lip and pick on hi skin. His self-doubt and hatred slowly crawling from within and he was starting to get lost.
With shaky hands and wobbly feet, Yeonjun went inside his walk-in closet to find something to wear and dress himself up so he could prove that he could still at least try to be attractive.
He anxiously roamed the racks, desperately finding an outfit that would look pretty on him but a little voice at the back of his head was whispering that he couldn't look great anymore because he never was.
And that Soobin prefers someone who looks better than him and that the male wouldn't hesitate to replace him once he found someone prettier.
Yeonjun felt a prickling behind his eyes from the thought and forced himself to shake it off because Soobin is not that kind of person but he still couldn't help but consider the possibility because fuck it, why can't he be beautiful?
A couple of minutes later and Yeonjun had dressed himself up in a white turtle neck shirt and white pants with a black cardigan. He looked at himself again in the mirror and felt unsatisfied, thinking that someone could've worn it better and that he still remained horrible in his eyes.
Yeonjun blinked back the stupid tears away, not wanting to cry over this because he could still try to fix himself. He should still try.
He was about to walk back into the wardrobe when he felt arms wrapping around his waist from behind so he glanced back in the mirror only to see Soobin's reflection with his chin placed on his shoulder wearing a small smile.
"Hi." Soobin's mumbled softly and Yeonjun's world stopped because this man looked too fucking gorgeous with his dark hair and warm round doe eyes that always, always hold tiny little sparkles, his loving smile and soft cheeks.
He's just—so fucking magnificent and amazing and Yeonjun's dark mind was telling him he doesn't deserve a man like him.
He absentmindedly had a troubled expression which alarmed Soobin so he reached forward to peck Yeonjun on the cheeks, hoping to ease him down but the male dodged his attempt. Obviously, Soobin became confused and frowned, tightening his hold around Yeonjun before he could try to escape.
"Hey, baby—what's wrong?"
Yeonjun didn't respond, instead, he looked down and avoid Soobin's gaze through their reflection that was boring right into his soul.
"Yeon—"
Soobin was not able to continue what he was about to say when he caught sight of the scattered clothes all over the floor and some make-up products on the desk he didn't notice when he walked in.
Coming into terms of what all those mess were about, Soobin let go of his hold on Yeonjun and turned him around so that he could look at him directly. The brunette still refused to meet his gaze though, even when Soobin lifted his face by the chin.
In silence, Soobin inspected Yeonjun's bleeding lower lip and his brows furrowed, concern flooding in massive amount through his veins. His hands then travelled on the cardigan the shorter male was wearing to try and lift the sleeves up, fully aware of the latter's tendency to unconsciously harm himself, although it wasn't anything severe, in times of self-doubt.
However, Yeonjun was quick to pull away before he could even get a hold of the fabric. "Bin—"
"Yeonjun,"
"It's fine, you don't have to—"
"Yeonjun, let me see."
And because of the younger's stern tone, Yeonjun was left defeated with his lips pursed as he let Soobin pull the sleeves up which revealed both his arms that were almost covered in claw marks and scratches that a few of them were lightly bleeding.
Yeonjun felt guilty and ashamed when Soobin didn't speak, thinking about how stupid he might've looked and was about to apologize when Soobin did what he wasn't expecting him to do.
Soobin brought each of his hands up, kissing them gently starting from his knuckles up to his elbows, whispering compliments in between and Yeonjun was left speechless with a single tear falling from his left eye as he stayed still and watched Soobin's actions.
His negative thoughts were put into a halt until they suddenly vanished and all that was left was the image of Soobin fondly staring at him with a smile on his handsome face.
"You're so beautiful, baby." Soobin spoke and he pulled Yeonjun closer to him, holding his lower back with one hand while the other caress his cheek where the tear fell, "So beautiful."
"You don't—you don't think I look horri—"
"Shh." Soobin cut him off with a finger over his lips, "You always look amazing to me. There's no need for you to—"
"But I want to look perfect for yo—" Yeonjun got cut off again, but this time, it was because of Soobin's lips against him. Pulling away, the taller smiled at the startled Yeonjun.
"You shouldn't try to look perfect. Perfection should try to look like you."
___
The smell of the sea hit both their noses as Yeonjun and Soobin stand behind the railings of the yacht.
Soobin has his arms around Yeonjun's shoulder from behind as the shorter leaned on him, his right hand holding Soobin's arms that were wrapped around him while they watched the starry night sky in comfortable tranquility. Both hearts content as they lightly sway from side to side, feeling the yacht moving from beneath their feet.
"Binnie?"
Soobin hummed as a response.
"What if I turned all scaly and grew gills? Would you still love m—"
"What kind of question is that?" The raven haired interrupted, rather baffled at the sudden question.
"I don't know!" Yeonjun went flustered and hid his face on Soobin's chest before slapping his arm lightly, "I saw a fish and it crossed my mind—Just answer!"
Soft chuckles escape his lips at his adorable husband who apparently, has interesting thoughts. Soobin coo-ed at him and moved his right hand to pinch Yeonjun's pink cheek.
"Of course I will, you baby."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Even if I turned out to be like that sea witch in that one Disney movie we watched?"
"Yes."
"Even if I became really, really, really ugly and smell like poo?"
"Although I doubt that would ever happen, yes, I would still love you."
Yeonjun was just about to open his mouth again when Soobin beats him to it, "Before you even say anything—yes. No matter how ridiculous your given instances are, I'd love you, okay? Even when your hair turned all gray and your skin turned soggy and you can't even walk anymore because of old age, I'll remain in love with you."
"Is that your way of asking to grow old with me?" Yeonjun asks sheepishly, lips quivering from trying to bite back his smile.
Soobin squeezed Yeonjun's figure with his arms and nuzzled his nose in the shorter's neck, inhaling his sweet scent before whispering. "Maybe, is it working?"
"No, but since I love you too much, I'll give you a pass." The brunette giggled, feeling ticklish when Soobin placed light kisses on his neck.
"Thank goodness, then." Soobin replied, chin now resting on Yeonjun's shoulder while he interlocked both of their hands on the railing in front. The rushing water and moonlight serving as their guides.
"Yeah but, I have one condition."
"Hmm?"
"I should have all of your attention on me," Yeonjun turned his head to the side, stealing a quick kiss on Soobin's jaw, "all the time."
___
Yeonjun sat there, arms crossed over his chest with his lips pursed in irritation. Eyes piercing sharply into nothing in particular as he experienced the greatest crisis of his life.
Soobin was not paying him any attention and he was so close into losing it
By the time Soobin got home, Yeonjun was expecting to receive all of the attention and affection he deserves from his husband like the usual but no—Soobin only gave him a quick peck when he saw him chilling in the living room and that was fucking it. Nothing came after that.
He dint even eat dinner which made Yeonjun lose his appetite and he skipped too, finding it quite a little lonely to eat alone. And since Yeonjun ran out of things to do alone to keep himself entertained, he decided he'll annoy Soobin instead and get him to do something with him. Like watch a movie, maybe go for a night drive, or just cuddle each other to death.
He actually didn't mind, as long as he'd be with Soobin since he's clingy like that and needs his tons of affection, but then Soobin decided to be like "fuck no" and not pay him attention all through the night.
Having enough of sulking there while Soobin was trying to drown in business folders and emails, Yeonjun thought his baby could take a small break and notice him so he sauntered his way in there, towards the study table with his phone in hand to show Soobin a picture of this newly opened café downtown.
Yeonjun plastered a huge grin on his face as he got beside the chair where Soobin was seated, "Baby, look! There's this new café around that one park we visited last week. I bet you'd like it!"
"Mhm. Not now, babe. I still have to finish this first." Soobin casually replied, not even taking his eyes off of the paper, making Yeonjun's grin falter and be replaced with a frown.
"For how long?" He childishly whined, stomping his feet against the carpeted floor.
Soobin was not even fazed anymore, having been used with the brunette's antics.
"If I'm lucky, a minimum of an hour and a half, maybe."
"But that's too long!"
"Sorry babe, have to submit it first thing in the morning."
"Ah! Fine!" Yeonjun surrendered, stomping his way out with a huge pout on his face.
Soobin could only shake his head and smile while listening to his husband's quiet complaints.
*
"It's been over one hour and thirty minutes, are you not done yet?"
"Baby, come on, take a break."
"Please—Soobin, look at me or else—"
"Hey, do you think I should dye my hair?"
"Soobin, I demand your attention!"
That, and a lot more attempts were put to waste because Soobin really seemed determined to finish whatever the fuck that was he was doing and Yeonjun was really, really annoyed now.
It would be a lie to say that he didn't consider calling the company and scolding the directors for throwing all of the works on his tall baby bun. And yeah, perhaps he also thought about burning those files so he'd have Soobin's attention on him alone but he knew Soobin would not like that idea at all.
"Soobinie, pay me attention~"
Yeonjun was cutely whining on the bed, rolling around it with his large bunny plushie wrapped in his arms that Soobin brought home to him that one afternoon. He was hoping that acting cute would melt Soobin's firm determination.
However, it didn't work and Soobin was still not paying him a single glance.
He pouted. "Binnie~"
"Later, honey."
"But—attention~"
"I'm giving you attention."
"I want all of it!" Yeonjun whined, perhaps a little too loud that finally made Soobin look at him with his eyebrow raised behind his glasses, looking hot as fuck.
Damn. How does Soobin managed to be this effortlessly fine?
"Patience, sweetheart." And with that, Soobin turned around again and went back into typing, making Yeonjun groan loudly out of frustration.
"Oh come on! I'm so close to dying! This is so cruel and—and inhumane!" He dramatically stated, sitting straight for a moment only to fall right back on the bed while acting like he's 'seeing the light'.
"Do you want to see the news front page with the headline, "Choi Yeonjun: A totally gorgeous man, found dead because his cruel husband refused to give him attention." Do you want that?"
"Stop being dramatic."
"Stop ignoring me."
"I'm not ignoring you."
"Yes you are! I'm gonna d word." Huffing and sighing exaggeratedly when Soobin remained silent once again, Yeonjun got up off bed and walked towards Soobin's desk to squish his cheeks. The latter didn't even bat an eye and continued with his work.
"I'm just going to get us snacks but once I'm back, you better be done or else— I'm telling you, Choi." Yeonjun threatened, pinching Soobin's cheeks with his fingers.
"Or else what?" Soobin dared, which caused a smirk to ghost over the standing male's lips.
"You'll see."
Another fifteen minutes had passed and Soobin was still working. Yeonjun then returned back into the room, holding a tray in hand filled with snacks and two glasses of milk, and saw Soobin who still hadn't moved an inch.
It caused his eyebrow to rise as he placed the tray down on Soobin's part of bedside table and smirk; a little eager to see the result of his 'well thought' plan.
Again, like multiple of his attempts earlier, he approached the busy male and wrapped his arms around Soobin's neck from behind before leaning his face down to put soft kisses on the younger's temple down to his jaw.
The unexpected action visibly made Soobin stiffen. Yeonjun secretly smirked to himself for knowing that this plan was so close to working.
"Yeonjun—"
"Shh, Binnie," the latter cut him off, now switching his position from hugging Soobin from behind into straddling the busy male on his lap. "Ignore me."
Soobin gulped at the hushed, tempting tone, forcing himself to shake the elder off and finish his work since he was almost done anyway.
But fuck, Yeonjun's being too fucking distracting at the moment and—
Did he just fucking bite Soobin's ear? What the fuck—
"Yeon," Soobin let go of his pen accidentally. The brunette hummed in response.
"Stop that."
"Stop what, Binnie?"
But Soobin could not utter another word, not when Yeonjun's lips were placed so fucking softly on his jaw; leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses on it down to his neck.
Soobin was losing his mind.
"S-Stop—"
"How about you stop that? And then we could play Soobinnie." Yeonjun whispered in his ear while lightly nibbling on it.
Soobin was breathing hard, his mouth agape. His eyes were closed and his mind was blank and empty.
And then Yeonjun pulled away from him to Soobin's dismay but then he was completely startled when Yeonjun suddenly held his face up to make him look up at him directly and the brunette tilt his head slightly to the side.
"Don't you want to play with me, Soobinnie?" The question was innocently asked but Yeonjun knew damn well what he was doing and smirked triumphantly to himself when Soobin finally lost his senses and began pulling him close to kiss him hungrily on the lips.
Yeah well, let's just say that Yeonjun's plan worked indeed and Soobin might or might have not submitted his files a little late the next morning.
___
"You always have my attention baby but," Soobin paused, a knowing grin forming on his lips made Yeonjun raised a brow in question.
"But?"
"But I quite like the reaction I get when you felt a little ignored."
Not getting what the taller meant, Yeonjun's questioning look turned into a frown, pulling away from the embrace and stepping out to face Soobin, "What do you mean?"
"Oh you know," A smirk.
Yeonjun frowned even more.
Soobin puckered up his lips and sent a suggestive wink.
Yeonjun's eyes widened in understanding and a heat of wave rushed through his cheeks, making his face flushed in deep red. "Sh-shut up! You're so annoying!"
Soobin chuckled at the embarrassed state of his husband and found it adorable (he finds everything Yeonjun does adorable) and decided it wouldn't hurt to make him shy even more, right?
He just looks so overwhelmingly cute blushing and trying to hide his face like that but trust Soobin when he says Yeonjun could be, how should he word this, uhm, wild and naughty.
And so fucking sexy.
Anyway, before he could let his mind wander into places it shouldn't. He steps closer into Yeonjun to try and get his hands off his face.
"Oh come on, baby, you weren't this shy when you were—"
"Don't you dare finish that!"
"Isn't that what you told me because you were eager to—"
"Stop it, oh god."
"Not what you said that night—"
"I'm serious, stop." Yeonjun glared at Soobin with his cheeks still burning, "We're not discussing what happened that night."
"Okay, okay, sorry, I'll stop." Soobin tried so hard to stifle his laughter, amused at everything Choi Yeonjun is.
While Soobin forced himself to stop his chuckles, Yeonjun sent him one last warning look before turning around, "I'm gonna head back to the cabin."
And with that, he left without waiting for Soobin to respond, he'll probably follow him once he's done laughing anyway.
And now, here Yeonjun is, his hand upon his chest as calm his heart down because of the memories that came running back through his brain courtesy of Choi Soobin. He fidgets around in that mini kitchen, hoping to ease himself and for his cheeks to cool down because fuck why is the images starting to get really vivid—
No, Yeonjun shakes his head. He shouldn't be this way right now. He probably just needs something to divert his attention to like, his phone! Right, his phone. Where did he last place it, again?
While searching for his device, Yeonjun found himself in the bedroom and instantly regret it because his mind started drifting off into that moment again upon seeing the bed.
"What the fuck Yeonjun?" he whispered to himself and was about to walk out, his main purpose totally forgotten when he caught sight of what seemed to be a folder at the bottom of the bed, peaking out like it was hidden in hurry that's why it wasn't accurately concealed.
Huh?
And of course, being the curious little shit that he is, Yeonjun made his way towards the edge of the bed, the thing luring him in like an opposite pole magnet. He crouched down a little bit when he finally reached the spot and without second thoughts, pulled the folder out and stood up straight to properly open it.
And that's when hell breaks loose.
The moment Yeonjun opened the folder, he instantly regret ever going in that room, and regret it even more that he just really had to be so curious to see what this folder is about.
Thousands—no, millions of questions flashed through his mind, the blood getting drained out of his face and he felt dizzy, like he's about to fall over any second now and he felt like throwing up. His knees about to give up and his arms were falling weak, he almost dropped the folder.
Yeonjun blinks, staring at the wall opposite him and let out a shaky breath.
Just what the fuck is this?
Did he fell asleep? Is this a dream? Is there a camera hidden somewhere? Because this shit has to be a joke.
This can't be serious at all.
This can't be happening.
Not again.
No.
With his blurry vision, Yeonjun stared down at the paper again, reading it all over for the second and third and fourth and nth time, hoping that his eyes were playing tricks on him and the words would magically change into something else but he felt a single tear drops when nothing changes and the words stare back at him, tauntingly.
They were mocking him, as if invisible hands were making its way out of the paper and holding him tight by neck, choking him until it was hard to breathe as he question himself if everything that ever happened was real.
Or was everything play pretend?
Did Soobin lie to him?
Is Soobin playing with him all along?
Because if he isn't, then this thing shouldn't be here. It shouldn't even exist in the first place.
There shouldn't even be a divorce paper with Soobin's signature on it.
~~~
so like, ive been hinting on what will happen for a while now but idk if anyone noticed