***
[ Supersons ]
BatKid: so why is Drake not kicked out of our chat yet?
SuperJon: I didn't have the heart to do it.
SuperKon: and trust me, I love having him around.
CaffeineAddict: aw thank you, Superbros.
CaffeineAddict: as for you Dim Dams...
BatKid: shut the fuck up, Drake. And don't you dare address me by that pathetic nickname.
CaffeineAddict: no can do for now.
CaffeineAddict: thinking of nicknames... Me and Connor came up with a ton new ones for you.
SuperKon: ah good times.
SuperJon: really?
CaffeineAddict: so shall I go first or would you like to do the honors, Connor?
BatKid: go to hell both of you.
SuperKon: no thank you. I'm better off staying in Metropolis.
SuperKon: Gotham sucks, man.
BatKid: what the fuck did you just say?
CaffeineAddict: ah...
CaffeineAddict: I suppose Gotham is a synonym to hell for Con, right?
SuperKon: absolutely right.
SuperJon: what about the nicknames? I can seriously not wait.
BatKid: ...
BatKid: I hate to say this but fuck you too, Jonathan.
SuperJon: first off, fuck me yourself you coward.
SuperJon: secondly, how dare you!
SuperKon: wait a second...
CaffeineAddict: oh...
SuperJon: ...
SuperJon: Connor, you did not show this to Mom, right?
SuperKon: you owe ten dollars to the swear jar, bro.
SuperJon: I will get you back for this, Connor. Just wait and see...
CaffeineAddict: oh dear, staying with Dami is not doing you good, Jonathan Kent. You've started to hand out death threats to your brother, just like Damian.
SuperKon: I agree.
***
CaffeineAddict: hey Damian, look what happened today...
BatKid: ...
BatKid: where are you?
CaffeineAddict: so Caramel has been feeling really lonely these days and Titus doesn't keep her company, so I bought a few more pups.
BatKid: if this is a stupid joke, I'll kill you.
CaffeineAddict: this is not a joke.
CaffeineAddict: I'm dropping them off in your room just so you can be certain.
BatKid: very well then.
CaffeineAddict: and you can name them too.
SuperKon: if I were you, Damian, I would ask why Timmy is being so nice today.
BatKid: fair point.
BatKid: what devilry are you up to, Drake?
CaffeineAddict: oh come on...
CaffeineAddict: I'm not that much of a cunning asshole.
BatKid: though you do agree you're a cunning asshole to some extent?
CaffeineAddict: to a little extent, yes.
SuperJon: these are really cute though, Tim. And tell Caramel that I love her and will bring her favorite treat when I come to Gotham next time.
CaffeineAddict: thank you, Jon, Caramel would appreciate the treat.
***
CaffeineAddict: why is no one else except the gremlin online today?
BatKid: screw off Drake.
CaffeineAddict: Connor?
CaffeineAddict: Jon?
CaffeineAddict: Kentbros?
CaffeineAddict: Superbros?
CaffeineAddict: CONNOR (KON-EL) KENT!!!
CaffeineAddict: and here I thought the Superbros were officially unable to get offline on the Supersons chat.
CaffeineAddict: hey...!
CaffeineAddict: Connie, I wanna talk to you. I'm getting bored af.
BatKid: it seems as if someone left you tied upside down in a hole and you're screaming for help.
CaffeineAddict: where are these two? I am dying to talk to anyone else except you.
BatKid: go to Luthor's place then so that I won't be bothered with your pathetically desperate texts.
BatKid: or better still, go die.
CaffeineAddict: Damian!!! You did not mean it.
BatKid: if you don't shut up right now then you bet I'm coming to murder you myself.
CaffeineAddict: why??!?? Why have the gods decided to scorn on me today???
BatKid: shut the fuck up, you loner.
***
SuperKon: sorry guys, we went off to a friend's place and there were network problems so couldn't reply.
BatKid: what friend?
SuperJon: Connor's girlfriend, to be precise. We went on a picnic with Wendy Harris.
CaffeineAddict: really?
SuperKon: of course, now that my little brother has put it so eloquently... Yeah we went to a picnic with Wendy.
SuperJon: and guess what, Wendy has a pet cat. And it's called Garfield.
BatKid: ...
CaffeineAddict: are you not going to say anything, Damian?
BatKid: ...
CaffeineAddict: I mean Jon's shirtless in the picture with a pet cat. Isn't that the definition of a double treat and an absolutely perfect picture for you, Dami?
BatKid: ...
SuperKon: nothing at all?
SuperKon: seriously what's taking him so long to type?
SuperJon: technically me and Dami got into a row the last time so... Maybe he won't reply.
CaffeineAddict: ah I see.
CaffeineAddict: that's exactly why he's typing then erasing then typing and then erasing again.
SuperKon: oh...
BatKid: shut up, Drake.
BatKid: and thanks for reminding. I'm still not going to talk to Jonathan.
SuperJon: hey...
BatKid: if you sent that picture thinking that I would forgive you then you're clearly wrong.
CaffeineAddict: but don't feel so sad, Jon, he's downloaded the picture.
CaffeineAddict: so it's just a matter of time until he starts talking to you again. And a matter of hours until this pic becomes his phone's wallpaper.
SuperJon: oh.
BatKid: no one asked your fucking opinion, Drake.
***
SuperJon: Damian...
SuperKon: somebody shut him up for the sake of God!
CaffeineAddict: what's up, Superbros?
SuperKon: Jon is extremely lovesick and has been shouting your brother's name since the last few hours.
CaffeineAddict: ah, poor him.
BatKid: speak for yourself, Drake. Just a few days ago you were reacting exactly like this when no one else except me was online on this chat.
CaffeineAddict: touche.
CaffeineAddict: but don't be so cruel to poor Jon, Damian.
BatKid: I will be as cruel as I want to be so screw off.
SuperJon: Damian... Nooooooo.
SuperKon: okay if you say his name one more time, Jonathan, I will kick you out of the house.
CaffeineAddict: aw don't be so mean to him, Connor. He needs a hug right now.
SuperJon: from Damian, no one else.
BatKid: ...
BatKid: I so fucking hate you, Jon.
SuperJon: 😢
CaffeineAddict: don't worry Jon, that's Dami's way of saying that "I'm pretending not to give a shit about you but I actually care a lot and I love you."
SuperJon: seriously...?
CaffeineAddict: hundred percent seriously. Trust me, I've had first hand experience.
BatKid: if you dare say one more word about what happened at the hospital...
CaffeineAddict: no worries, I'm not spilling more.
SuperKon: what happened at the hospital, Tim?
CaffeineAddict: sorry mate, my lips are sealed.
SuperKon: but you always tell me everything...
CaffeineAddict: bros before hoes.
SuperKon: am I a hoe to you, Timmy?
BatKid: perhaps? I mean Drake has weird interests, I wouldn't be surprised if he said you were.
SuperKon: AM I A HOE TO YOU, TIMOTHY FRICKING DRAKE?
CaffeineAddict: ah no, let me rephrase that, bros before superbros.
BatKid: for once I might have to agree with you.
SuperKon: now I'm extremely suspicious.
CaffeineAddict: it's me and Dami's little secret.
***
[ Gotham's Freak Club ]
Naturally Blonde: guess who's coming for a sleepover today?
Killer Shortcake: wanna take a guess, Timmy?
Timmy Toes: um...
The Walking Dead: Irina, right?
Naturally Blonde: yup.
Timmy Toes: really? How come I didn't know about it earlier?
Timmy's Girlfriend: because it was meant to be a surprise.
Timmy Toes: if surprises are like this then I would love to get such surprises everyday.
Timmy's Girlfriend: we'll see about that.
***
The Walking Dead: guess who else is coming for a sleepover, bitches?
Flying Grayson: oh God no...
The Walking Dead: me and my lovely wife!
Timmy Toes: but weren't you supposed to be on honeymoon right now?
The Walking Dead: well... We missed the flight.
Flying Grayson: of course, I should have known that, given your reputation.
The Walking Dead: but no worries, I rescheduled it and now we do have a flight tomorrow.
The Walking Dead: and I'm pretty sure dear Dickybird here would love to drop us off to the airport tomorrow.
Killer Shortcake: at this point, we will all drive with you both just to make sure you don't miss the flight again.
Flying Grayson: fair warning, take your own cars then. Me and Babs will only be kind enough to give the newly wedded couple a ride.
Naturally Blonde: how rude...
Killer Shortcake: leave it, Steph. We'll take Jay's car instead.
The Walking Dead: hey... Stay away from my car.
Naturally Blonde: you mean that antique artifact you drive around in?
The Walking Dead: don't you fucking dare say anything about my car. It's not antique. It's a limited edition Chevrolet Camaro convertible.
Timmy's Girlfriend: seems like your first love wasn't Helena but your car.
The Walking Dead: I mean yeah if you exclude living beings then yes my first love is my car.
Killer Shortcake: it's from 1970s, you moron.
The Walking Dead: 1969, to be precise.
Killer Shortcake: like Steph said; antique.
Timmy's Girlfriend: what I'm wondering though is that who was your first love, considering humans only?
The Walking Dead: Helena. Though if you exclude humans...
Timmy's Girlfriend: so am I also supposed to consider aliens as well l?
Timmy Toes: fair enough, Superman is an alien. And we've known our fair share of aliens. My buddy Connor is a half alien.
Timmy's Girlfriend: okay, rephrasing the question; Jason, who's your first love considering both humans and aliens?
Flying Grayson: good question.
Timmy Toes: I don't think you would like to know the answer though, Richard.
Flying Grayson: and why not?
The Walking Dead: Kori'Andr
Flying Grayson: oh...
Naturally Blonde: and in case you don't know, Irina, Kori is a Tamaranean princess who's also known as Starfire. She was a part of the original Teen Titans and has worked alongside our BigBro Grayson to protect Jump City.
Timmy's Girlfriend: right...
The Walking Dead: and before anyone mentions that she was Richard's first girlfriend too...
The Walking Dead: oh wait...
The Walking Dead: I did it myself.
Killer Shortcake: 😂
Timmy's Girlfriend: Tim is right, you Waynes are truly far from normal...
Killer Shortcake: we prefer the word phenomenal instead of normal.
Naturally Blonde: like come on, normal is boring.
The Walking Dead: back to what I was saying, no matter who our first loves were, I'm a hundred percent sure that right now I'm perfectly happy with Helena and Richard is perfectly happy with Barbara. And we won't ever choose anyone else even if we are ever given the opportunity.
Flying Grayson: I agree. One hundred percent.
Timmy's Girlfriend: that's really sweet.
Timmy Toes: I still can't believe Jay wrote that.
Naturally Blonde: trust me, neither can I.
***
Killer Shortcake: Irina, what part of a girls' night did you not understand?
Timmy's Girlfriend: why? What happened?
Naturally Blonde: you were supposed to spend the night with us, Ren. And instead you ditched us for your boyfriend.
Timmy Toes: come on, guys, you both had gone to sleep when she sneaked out.
Killer Shortcake: I hadn't.
Timmy Toes: prove it.
Killer Shortcake: there you go. I came out to the living room to check and thankfully I had my phone with me to collect the afore mentioned proof.
Timmy Toes: oh.
The Walking Dead: I'm so proud of you, Cass. You're finally becoming a pro at spying. Well done.
Killer Shortcake: not what I expected you to say but thanks for the compliment.
Naturally Blonde: and what are we going to do with Tim and Ren then?
Flying Grayson: it's okay girls, I guess we should just let them off for this once.
Naturally Blonde: I would normally say no but since that gif is so fricking adorable... Fine.
Flying Grayson: and what about you, Cass?
Killer Shortcake: okay but I'm agreeing only because of Steph and Richard. Next time you ditch us, Irina, I'll make sure you get punished.
Timmy's Girlfriend: I promise, honey, it won't happen again. And thank you.
***