The Pill
Lana was sitting on her bed when Jackie came running in. "Jackie calm down" Land said trying to get the out of breath girl to talk.
"Lana I'm pregnant" Jackie said before starting to cry. Lana gave her a hug.
"What?!" they suddenly heard from the door way. They quickly turned around to see Eric standing in the door way.
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Lana manage to get Eric to twin promise not to tell anyone bout Jackie, but he was terrible at hiding it. Donne is playing basketball and Eric is just standing there. Donna scores and throws the ball at Eric, hitting him on the back of his head. The ball bounces back.
"Eric, you're like a million miles away. What's going on?" Donna asked.
"Okay Donna, I have to tell you something, but you have to promise you're not gonna tell anybody else." Eric whispered hoping Lana won't hear him.
Lana hopped off the vista cruiser and went over to Eric. "You promised you wouldn't say anything." She turned to Donna, "If we tell you, do you swear not to tell anyone else?"
"Dirt! I swear, now tell me." Donna said. "Not here" Eric said pushing them to the car. They get into the cruiser. Eric tells Donna everything and she stares with wide eyes ahead of her, in shock.
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At the Hub the guys, Lana and Jackie are sitting at a table. "And then, in the dream, two of the three Stooges fed me grapes while I played them a beautiful song on my accordion... in the nude." Fez said explaining his weird dream to the group. Lana looked at him with disgust. "Somehow, the accordion part bothers me more than the nude part." Hyde said wrapping his arm around Lana.
Kelso reaches for one of Jackie'S fries. She slaps his hand away."Michael, stop it!" she says.
"What did I do?" Kelso asked confused.
Jackie looked worried, not wanting him to find out the news just yet, "Look, I just need all the food I can get right now." Eric and Lana start laughing nervously like their mother. Everyone was looking at them confused. Hyde looked down at Lana looking very confused.
Donna came in and her and Lana knew they had to talk to Jackie. Donna was the first one to talk ,"Hi. Uh, I have to go to the bathroom, Lana? Jackie?"
Jackie gets up and gasped, "Oh my God, Donna, you have never asked me to go to the bathroom with you before!" DONNA:
"Yeah, it's a big day." Lana sacasticly said before puling her into the bathroom
In the Hub bathroom Lana was checking the stalls to make sure no one else was in there. After she gave Donna the ok, the questions started.
"So, is it true?" Donna asked
Jackie sighed before saying ,"Yes Donna, it is true. I am carrying Michael Kelso's child."
"Jackie you promised me you won't get pregnant" Lana exclaimed mad at her friend for being so careless.
"Jackie, you're a sophomore. How can you be so stupid?" Donna asked.
"I'm a sophomore." Jackie repeated.
"Well, why didn't you like, you know, use something?" Lana asked.
"Look, I would have but my cousin Carla told me that I could not get pregnant for eight days after my period." Jackie explained.
"Okay, eight days after your first day or your last day?" Donna asked.
"I don't know. Carla never called me back! Oh my God Donna, having this child is gonna ruin my whole life!" Jackie exclaimed finally realizing the situation.
"Well yeah!" the other girls exclaimed
"God, I'll have to wear flats, I'll get overweight, I'll be too fat to cheer!" Jackie began to rant.
Donna looked at her confused, "Not to mention the fact you'll have a baby to take care of."
Jackie began to tear up and put her head on Lana's shoulder. "Guys, what am I gonna do? I'm in such trouble." Donna joined the two in a hug.
Donna tried to comfort the girl, "Jackie, it's alright, we'll get through this. What does Kelso say about this?"
"No, no, no, no. I cannot tell Michael. It's way too embarrassing." Jackie said. Lana just rolled her eyes at her friend.
"Jackie, you had sex with him!" Donna exclaimed.
Jackie rolled her eyes, "I know I did, but we didn't talk!"
Lana sighed and made her friend look at her , "You have to tell Kelso! If you don't, I will."
"Thank you Lana, thank you! Oh! Thank you!" Jackie yelled as she hugs her. She runs to the door, but Donna stops her
"Jackie, I don't wanna tell him!" Lana yelled
The girl suddenly hear a noise is heard from outside. The girls get out of the bathroom. And see Kelso is on the ground, unconscious and Fez is slapping him. Jackie turns to face the girls, "I think he knows."
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At the patio the guys and Lana are sitting and they look gloomy. Lana knew Kelso or Jackie weren't ready to be parents. She wish she knew what to do to help them.
"So, I've been thinking about it. And I'm gonna do the right thing. I'm gonna be responsible, I mean I have to, I'm gonna be a father." Kelso said thinking aloud.
"Yeah, and on the plus side, you walk into a liquor store carrying a baby man, they'll sell you beer" Hyde said causally.
"Yeah, yeah, and I like kids. I, I still have some of my leagues, it's gonna be great!" Kelso said with fear evident in his voice. Lana gave him a quick hug.
"And Jackie's mockatons will get huge!" fez exclaimed.
"Fez, for those of us who only speak English, what exactly is a mockaton?" Lana asked.
"Feet. They will get long, swelled up and white. Very gratifying." he explained with a sick smile on his face.
"You foreign freak!" Hyde said.
"I mean, this is scary man, I might have to get married." Kelso said freaking out.
"Not just married, married to Jackie. That's freaking terrifying." Hyde joked making Lana punch his shoulder.
"Okay, I'm never having sex again!" Kelso vowed. Everyone started laughing at him.
"Yeah, good one." Eric said.
"No, no, I'm serious man. It's just not worth it. Just wait Eric, this could so easily happen to you!" Kelso warned.
"I don't think so, I'd probably have to have sex first." Eric said.
Kelso sighed, "It's just not fair."
"You're telling me, I wanna have sex!" Eric said.
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At the drug store Eric and Lana are waiting for their turn. Eric was busy questioning Lana about her and Hyde. "You and Hyde seem to be close lately?"Eric asked.
"Eric, we're just friends nothing is going on with me and Hyde" Lana said rolling her eyes.
"Well I think you both like each other but neither of you is brave enough to admit it" Eric said acting like he knew everything.
Lana sighed, "Eric trust me there is nothing going on"
Eric acts as if he can't trust Lana's answer. He turns to the counter. "Can I help you?" the pharmacist asked.
"pictures for Forman." Lana said with a small smile. The pharmacist nodded ,"I'll be right back."
Lana was looking around when she heard Eric starting to cough. She quick and saw bob patting him on the back. "Hey, there Eric, you, you okay?" Bob asked.
"I was just... How are you?" Eric asked when he stopped coughing.
The pharmacist came back with the pictures. Lana grabbed them and thanked him.
"Can I help you?" He asked Bob.
"Yup. Prescription for Pinciotti.", Bob reaches over and take the cologne bottle Eric was smelling. Lana let out a low laugh and Eric glared at her.
"Oh, trying on cologne for Donna, huh? That is so darn cute!" Bob said making Eric a little uncomfortable.
"Thank you sir." Eric mumbled.
The Pharmacist comes back with a small white bag., "Here you go. That'll be twenty one fifty."
"It's a little pricey for cough medicine." Bob said confused.
The pharmacist opens the bag and takes out a small white box. "Pinciotti, Donna, Orthonovum.". he read out loud. Lana started pushing her brother to the door trying to save him.
"Orth what?" Bob asked.
The Pharmacist just repeated, "Orthonovum, birth control pills!" Bob turned around glaring at Eric. Lana and Eric run out of the drug store and buried to get home.
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At the dinner table Eric looks like hell. Lana was worry that their parents were going to find out. And based on Laurie's smirk she regrets fill her in on what happened.
"Eric, you're not eating, are you sick?" their mom asked.
"Yeah Eric, you seem upset. Did something happen at the pharmacy?" Laurie asked with a smirk.
"What happened at the pharmacy?" Red asked making Eric even more nervous.
"Nothing.", Eric quickly said before turning to Laurie"Shut up!"
"Eric, be nice to your sister. Kitty, what happened to the mail?" Red asked
"I checked the mail Dad, nothing, no mail." Laurie quickly said with a smile. Lana could already see that Laurie was lying through her teeth.
"You know the mail keeps disappearing. I think we have a little mail thief." Kitty laughed.
"Speaking of, Laurie I could've sworn I saw a University of Wisconsin envelope sticking out of your bra. What's that all about?" Eric said.
Lana just shook her head. If both of her siblings got in trouble then the whole house would be on lock down and Lana didn't deserve that.
"What?" Red asked
Laurie suddenly yelled, "Donna's on the pill!" Kitty chokes on some ice tea. Lana kicks her sister from under the table. Eric looks guilty and avoiding eye contact with Red.
"What did you do?" Red asked assuming Eric was the problem.
"Nothing! Nothing." Eric exclaimed.
"Dinner's over. Girls kitchen, now!" Red ordered.
"But daddy I didn't finish my food" Lana said hoping she can stay and either help her brother or laugh at him.
"Fine you can stay sweetie" Red sighed
"I know you're seventeen and we can't stop you from doing what you wanna do..." Kitty said to Eric, trying to address the situation as if he was an adult.
"Yes we can." Red argued
"Red. All I'm saying is have respect for her." Kitty sighed. Lana was trying her best not to laugh at the awkward situation.
"You respect her by keeping your hands off her.", Red yelled, "the same goes for any boys that you go out with Lana".
Laurie smirked as she pretended to clear off ,"You are a dirty, dirty boy Eric.". Lana rolled her eyes at her sister.
"Okay, okay, now, um, let's talk about birth control-" Kitty started to say.
"Birth control! Don't do it, that's your birth control!" Red yelled.
"I'm gonna pray for you Eric." Laurie teased him.
"You're the devil! And, did you know that Laurie's flunking out of college?" Eric yelled having enough of her.
"Don't change the subject! You've got strange thoughts in your little head mister and that Donna's a nice girl!" Red said not caring about Laurie
"Red, you're giving him the wrong idea about sex. It's not dirty." Kitty said thinking her husband was dramatic.
"But it's not clean either." Red quickly defended.
"Okay, cleanliness, now, that reminds me, always make sure your nails are trimmed and clean. Oh, foreplay is very important." Kitty mentioned. Lana nearly threw up in her mouth.
"No, no it's not." Red laughed.
"Yes, it is." Kitty said glaring at him
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In the kitchen Laurie is using the steam from the kettle that's on the burner to open a letter. Lana is reading a magazine and not help Laurie since she ratted out Eric. Donna suddenly comes in from the patio door.
"Hey Laurie, hey Lana, is Eric around?" Donna asked
"No, he's at the Hub. Hey watch the door!" Laurie snapped.
Donna goes to move to the door. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"My grades! I gotta make some Fs into Bs before Red sees them!" Laurie said panicked.
Donna pokes her head in the living room, "You're fine, Red and Kitty are watching Bonanza. I gotta go."
"Hey, smart move going on the pill. That was the best thing I ever did. Just wait 'til you get to college!" Laurie said smirking. Lana rolls her eyes.
Lana just pushes Donna outside and the two girls go to the driveway, where they run into Jackie.
"Donna, Lana! Guess what?" Jackie yelled excited
"You're having twins?" Lana joked
"No, I'm not pregnant!". The three girls all end up in a group hug, happy about the news.
"Oh my God, oh my God Jackie, thank God!" Donna cheered.
"Oh my God, I can forget about this whole ugly thing, but it behind me and never ever think it ever..." Lana starts shaking Jackie and Donna yelled, "Jackie, we'renot gonna let you forget about this! Alright? You got really, really lucky and as your friends, we're not gonna let you be stupid about this."
"We're friends?" Jackie questioned.
"Shut up. Jackie, I went on the pill." Donna said
"Oh my God, you are gonna be so popular!" Jackie exclaimed
"Jackie, I didn't do it to be popular. I did it because I am not gonna get stuck in this stinky little town!" Donna yelled in frustration.
"That's the same reason I went on it" Lana agreed. Jackie and Donna both looked at Lana with shock.
"You went on it?" Donna asked.
"Both Laurie and I went on it after her second pregnancy scare, I didn't want to be in that kinda situation in high school or college" Lana explained.
"Jackie, when this E.R.A passes, we're gonna be able to do whatever we want. And so will you if you don't screw it up now!" Donna said explaining to her how her life could be more.
"Um, so, tell me more about this pill. Does it do anything weird to your hair?" Jackie asked
"Only above your lip." Lana shrugged as they started walking.
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The girls walked into the Hub and sat down with all the boys at a booth.
"Hey so, Eric, can I talk to you? Alone?" Donna asked looking at Eric.
"Sure." he shrugged getting up.
"Cool." Donna said as they walked out.
Lana sat down next to Hyde who looked her up and down before pulling her closer to him. She still had no idea what they were, or what to say to him. And before she could say anything Jackie spoke up.
"Michael, I'm not pregnant." Jackie said with a smile on her face.
Kelso got up from his seat, his eyes closed and stands with his arms doing a V , "Yes. Yes! YES!!!"
"So you feel tons better right?" Jackie asked
"OH YEAH!!!!" Kelso shouted again.
"Oh God, that's so great 'cause you know what? I'm breaking up with you!" Jackie said with a smirk on her face. Kelso drops his hands to his sides and looks at her. Kelso, Fez and Hyde all say, "What?"
"Damn Jackie" Lana said impressed with her friend.
"Look, Michael, this whole experience has opened my eyes. And nothing will set in the way of my dream of becoming a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader!" Jackie says before she leaves.
Kelso sits down. His mouth is opened in disbelief, "Did she just break up with me?"
"Yup!" Hyde and Lana say at the same time.
"I am so sad for you. May I please have her phone number?" Fez asked.
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Hyde and Lana were walking hand in hand. She had on his jacket. The conversation on the way to her house wasn't anything serious. Lana went inside and opened the window so Hyde could get in.
Once he was inside he was sat on her bed, she was at her desk doing some homework for him. He watched as her face was concertaited on the math problem. He loved watching her when she was working on something. She had such a cute serious face, in his opinion.
She finish the paper and looked over to see Hyde smile at her. She got up and cuddled up next to him. Her head was on his chest, she was at peace whenever she was with him.
"So the whole thing with Jackie and Kelso was crazy right? "Hyde laughed.
Lana gently smacked his chest, "It's not funny".
"It is a little" he said, even though she couldn't see him she knew he was smirking.
They were quiet for a little bit more before Hyde spoke up. "Are you on the pill?" he asked slightly uncomfortable.
Lana laughed softly, "Yeah I am"
"But you never..." He asked trailing off.
Lana laughed at how he wasn't about to talk about it, "Yes Hyde, I am on the pill and I've never had sex"
"So are you going to?" He asked biting his lip.
"Yes. I'm just waiting for the right person. I want it to be with someone I'm comfortable with. It doesn't have to be the most romantic place. I just want it to be with the right person" Lana said as she started to blush.
"So who's the right guy?" he asked.
"I don't know", she shrugged," Just someone who will make it fun, and make it enjoyable. Sometimes i just want to get it over with"
"If you want you can get it over with, with me"
Lana looked up at him. She expected to she him laughing or with a smirk on his face. But, he was dead serious.
"Maybe" she said looking at his lips.
"Maybe?" he questioned.
"Maybe" she said before she kissed him.