"If you can love the wrong one so much, just imagine how much you can love the right one."
- Brandon Stanton
🔹🔸
*Evening*
"Sophia,Please open the door." I heard Liam shout from the door. I have locked myself in room because I don't want mom and dad to know that I have been crying for a guy who doesn't even like me back. I'm a wreck right now, damaged in my own thoughts.
"I'm trying to sleep, Liam. Please go away." I shouted back, my voice cracking again.
"I'm going to break the door if you don't open it. We're worried for you." His voice soften. I stood up and prepared my hair well, wiped away the tears and opened the door slowly, revealing the face of my worried brother and parents.
"Sophia. Is that the way to lock yourself in room for more than four hours and do nothing but cry the whole time?" mom asked shouting.
"Is there any other place to continue the show?" I replied. "I wasn't crying." Then I stated.
"Yeah, I can see that." She crossed her arms against her chest.
"Sophia, we don't want you to lock yourself in room." Liam spoke and walked in the room followed by my worried parents. Dad didn't speak a word.
"I was trying to sleep,Liam. That's it."
"When you returned home, you were crying." He argued. "I wasn't. I was not feeling well, so I came back, I wasn't crying." I argued back. I know they are not going to buy any words from me.
"You came home because you saw Zayn kissing that bitch." Liam snapped and I stepped back.
"Yes, that's the reason I rushed back home. But you won't understand. You're tired of me and you will never be on my side." I shouted back.
Hey brother, I know how to yell too. We got the genes from the same family. I don't know why I felt betrayed, it felt like I lost something that wasn't even mine.
His face soften. "Sophia, I'm so..."
"Leave." I pointed at the door.
"Sophia, don't show that attitude." Mom argued. "Maybe that's all I have." I answered back.
"He is your elder brother." Damn, my mom.
"Elder brother, my arse. He is only a brother to me, when I'm happy. He never helped me when I was alone and sad. He has started hiding things from me. He gets defensive when I ask him something, so who the fuck is he to interfere in my life?" I shouted at mom eyeing Liam. Without listening to any other word, he left the room angrily.
"Sweetheart, you need to calm down. Take a deep breathe." Dad walked to me and placed his hands on my arms. I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe. "What is the matter?" Then he asked me, letting go his hand from my arms, I opened my eyes and met with his worried wrinkled eyes.
I folded my arms. "Mom, you can leave."
"Sophi..."
"Darling, can you please leave? I need to talk to her." Dad asked mom and she left. Good, because I'm not at all in the mood to fight with my mother.
"You wanna go somewhere else?" He asked. I nodded and taking my cardigan, walked out of the room with him. Mom was seated on the couch with her hand on Liam's shoulder who had both his hands on his forehead.
He was going to speak something when he saw me and dad and stopped. Without saying my bye, I left the house angrily.
"Sophia, wait. Let's not go out anywhere, rather sit in the garden." Dad held my hand.
"But dad..."
How can dad make me sit in front of his window? I just want to throw a rock at the white glass. What is wrong with me!
"Listen, I know you don't want to sit here and stare at his window but please, you're not feeling well and it is not the right time to go out."
"Okay, Dad." I said and we sat on the lawn, Indian style. I let my nose breathe the dull scent of the grass, the one that you can smell during evening time. It was the time when the flowers don't glow as much as they do in afternoon.
"Now tell me, why are you upset." he asked calmly. "There is nothing dad."
"I'm your father, so I know when you lie. Now quit hiding it from me."
"Why am I not made for being loved?" I whispered.
"You're, my sweetheart. Why would you think that?" he asked, worried.
I looked down. "Dad, I share everything with you, but there is something I didn't. I have hid this from you, I didn't know how to share this, because this feeling, my emotions were complicated. The truth is, I have started liking... um..I have started liking..." I stuttered. How can I explain to him? Sharing secrets with him has always been easy, he is my personal diary, but this, I don't know how to say this.
"You love Zayn." he declared. I looked up and saw him, face calm and a smile forming on his lips.
Why could I not say that I love him and why did I just end up at the liking part? He is more than just a crush to me, he is the feeling of a bright star in my dull night sky.
"Dad...How do you... "
"It flashes in your eyes. You say it's just affection but no, my child, you love him." He stated. "You love him, because it breaks you when you see him with someone else. You try to be happy but you want him to be happy with you."
I didn't say anything. He is right. For once, I want to be selfish to know what I want. "It is okay to be selfish to want what you love." Dad stated. Did he just read my mind?
My eyes went up scanning the closed window of Zayn's room. It always was open, why is it closed today?
"Tell me, what happened today?" he asked and brought me back to earth.
"I saw him kissing Clarissa and I couldn't see that, it broke me, I cried but then I realised that all these feelings aren't mutual. He doesn't even like me. He hates me." I stated. "I was just crying for someone who doesn't even know about what I feel."
"Only if you knew." I heard him whisper. "What?" I asked.
"Oh, nothing. Look sweetheart, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever come across my life, because my child, you're pure at what you feel, you are strong, you love people, adore them for their beautiful soul and if anyone doesn't like you back or hates you, then it's his loss, because he is blind not to see the good in you. Trust me, you're all made for love."
I smiled. Dad is the only person who can make me smile, Liam does too but he is angry, maybe because I hurt him.
"Why am I attracted to him? I was supposed to dislike him, hate him for being an ass to me." I asked, almost giggling.
"Maybe because he fills in the emptiness, you didn't even know you had."
"Woah dad, you could have been a love advisor." I laughed. "That is my part time job." He winked. I shook my head laughing. He knows how to get me back to the happy mood.
"So are you going to forgive Liam?" He asked, changing his tone to serious. "I don't know. Whenever I need him, he is always against me." I pouted.
"He is your brother, why would he be against you?" He asked. "He has always been there for you."
"Always, yeah... he always believes that I'm wrong."
"I don't believe that you're wrong. You're not always right as well, but it is my duty to take care of you, because you're my sister. All I want is for you to be happy." I turned a saw my only brother standing at the door with mom.
"My cue to leave." Dad said and walked in with mom and left me alone with Liam. He walked to me and sat next to me.
"I'm sorry." he spoke after the silence killed us. "For what?" I asked, still annoyed of him.
"Can you stop being a bad person?" He asked. "Do I have any other personality?" I asked but before he could reply I asked again. "Can you stop being a good friend and then try to be a brother?"
"What are you talking about?" He asked. "Dinosaurs and meteors." I rolled my eyes. He sighed. Of course he was annoyed by my behaviour.
"Of course, you know who I'm talking about. You always take his side. Today you stood up for him. Liam, do you have any idea what I feel?" I asked on the verge of crying.
"I know what you feel. I know how you feel and what for who. I know that you've liked Zayn from the day you were stuck in the forest and now, with all those feelings and emotions you're confused, but you love him. I know that you only shared this with Niall."
My eyes widened. How does everyone know about this? Is it that obvious? Dad knows, Liam knows, maybe Amy Winehouse from the grave knows it too, maybe she should sing a sad song based on my situation, if everyone knows it, why can't Zayn Asshole Malik know it, why can't he see what I feel?
But he doesn't know that maybe my feelings for Zayn grew even before the forest incident. He already had made a mark on my head and earned a place in my heart.
"I even know that you saw him kissing Clarissa and then you ran from there crying but it isn't necessary that what you always see is right."
"Liam..."
"Give Zayn a chance to explain." He interrupted. "What chance. He doesn't even like me. He doesn't know that I love him. He doesn't know that I saw him kissing Clary He fucking doesn't care."
"He knows everything."
"WHAT." I shouted. Who the fuck told him?
Liam nodded."He knows everything and he feels bad about it. He tried calling you but you kept denying his call. He even tried to talk to you about this but before he could, you left the college and came back home. Go to him and let him know how you feel."
"I can't." I stood up. "Why?" he asked standing up too.
"Because...I.." I stopped. "because he doesn't like me the same way and if I confess it, he'll make fun of me and never understand me. For fuck's sake, he is Zayn Malik."
"For god's sake Sophia, he is Zayn, the guy who's always understood you when you yourself couldn't understand who you were." He raised his voice, annoyed. "Go and try for once."
"This is not a game. Try once and if you lose, try it again."
"Better oops than what if. You've got to try. At first it will be a mess, trust me, you're fire and he is fuel, but you've got to work together to spark the flame. Nothing comes easy to you. You've got to work hard on your feet to earn it. Love is a price, earn it, before it's gone to somebody else."
"Clarissa...He likes Clary." I wasn't at all ready to understand what Liam explained me, though it all hit hard on my chest.
"I cannot change your mind. All I can say is that he is a very good guy. I know that he has past records of dating many girls but he has never felt anything so special for any girl. He was waiting for the right girl and maybe you're the one, you can be his it-girl."
He said and left. I stood there dumb folded. Why is my life so complicated?
First Chris and then Zayn.
As I was walking back in my house, I heard someone call me. I turned and saw Saffa running to me happily. She was dressed in pink but she was not alone,he was with her.
ZAYN was with her. He stopped there at his house gate and Saffa ran to me and hugged my legs. My eyes shifted from Zayn to this beautiful girl.
"Hey doll." I smiled and bend down to her level. "Phia. Where were you?" She asked in her cute voice.
"I always was here. But I think, my doll Saffa was busy." I pinched her nose and she giggled.
"Sorry. I was at my friend's house."
"You mean Mike?"I asked. Her cheeks turned red. I wish I and Zayn at least had something that Saffa has with Mike. These kids have better love life than me. Duh!
"Aw, aren't you cute when you blush." I let out a laugh. Kids can lighten and brighten your mood.
"Stop teasing me, Mike is my friend."
"Special friend." I added with a wink. "Just like you are Zayn's special friend."
As the words escaped her mouth, I looked up and saw him already staring me. I stood up to my height and Saffa walked to her brother. She smiled.
We both stood there in silence. This silence never haunted me, but tonight, it does. Seeing him stand there, not throwing any shade on my pathetic life, makes me wanna grab him with his collar and ask him to say something about how bad I'm. I just want him to speak something.
"Sophia, I...."
"Saffa, where is Bruno?" I asked Saffa as Zayn was speaking something. He looked down. Now when he spoke, I turned into a bitch.
I feel bad but I have to do this.
"He is in there. Do you want him?" She asked. I nodded and she ran in the house leaving me and Zayn alone.
"Sophia..."
"It's Marie. My name is Marie." I blurted angrily. Shouldn't I be happy that he called me with my name? No, he doesn't have to change, he can call me whatever he likes. Just call me your girl.
"Marie. I wanted to say that I'm..."
"Sorry, mom is calling me, I gotta go." I stated and ran as fast as I could in my house and closed the door. I ran upstairs as mom, dad and Liam were busy in kitchen.
I locked my room's door and walked to the window and saw Zayn still standing there like a statue. He moved and his eyes ran up to my window and maybe he saw me, but I turned back, hiding myself behind the curtain so that he couldn't see me. I then, closed the curtain and laid on my bed,tears falling down my eyes.
I hate Chris for this.
*Flashback*
It's afternoon now and all I am doing is crying. Niall and Louis tried to call me but I didn't receive their call. Even the girls tried contacting me. Mom is worried. Liam didn't show up for once.
Maybe I'm addicted....
My phone started ringing. Without seeing the name of the person, I received the call thinking it could be one of the people from the group because my friends have being calling me from ages.
"Hello "
"Hey babe."
This voice, made me want to jump out of my own window. He cannot call me.
"How are you darling. Did you miss me?"
More tears formed in my eyes. Why the fuck am I so emotional?
"What do you want, Chris?" I stuttered.
"You." was all he said through the phone. This raised the sleeping hairs of my hand, the goosebumps.
"Are you crying?" He asked. "Oh little fool, you're crying for the one who never loved you back?"
"I'm not crying." I wiped my tears away. "Don't forget I can watch you and I know you very well, luv." he had his evil laugh.
"Why don't you let me live my life?" I asked angrily. "Aw, I love the angry side, aggressive, hot side of you."
"Shut up and tell me, what do you need now?"
"That's like a good girl. All I want is for you to stay away from that Malik guy."
"Why. Why do you even ask me for that? He did no wrong to you."
"Shut your fucking mouth and do as I say or else he will have to bear the consequences." He angrily spoke through the phone. "But why? All you do is threaten me but you can't even kill a fly."
"Wanna see what I can do? You don't want to know what he is doing right now. Also, his teen sister is hot. It would be my pleasure to have her in my bed."
"Stay away from Walihya." I shouted and walked to my window to check if Zayn's window is open. He wasn't in the room but Walihya was seated on his bed, eyes on her pink cased phone. I turned and sat on the chair.
"That's her name. Isn't she hot?" he asked smirking. "Chris, Don't you dare touch her." I hissed.
"I won't if you do as I say. I like you to be under my control."
"I'm not the old Sophia."
"You're the same. Ugly piece of shit with no brain and worthless."
"Then why do you haunt me?"
He laughed."Coz baby I love you."
Those words made my body freeze. I ended the call and placed my head on the table. My phone made a ding noise. I opened the message.
From: Chris
Do as I say or else I still do find Walihya Malik hot.
What should I do? Say about this to Niall or Louis? No,Chris is watching me. First of all I need to throw these cameras, both from my room and Zayn's too. But how?
There was a knock at my door, that brought me back to reality and I opened it wiping away my tears. There stood my brother smiling.
"Enough of crying. Now come down and have your dinner."
"I'm not crying."
"Yeah. Can see that. You're my sister."
"But I don't fee..."
"Even if you don't feel like eating anything, come down. I don't want you to increase your friendship with these walls."
He laughed lightly. I just passed on a smile. Even if he is angry or sad, he knows how to make me smile. I don't wanna hurt him or my parents. So I will go down.
"Okay, I'm coming." I said and closed the door of my pink walls bedroom. We walked downstairs and saw Mom and Dad kissing each other. Liam closed my eyes as if I was a five years girl watching her parents Kiss for the first time. He cleared his throat and my parents attention turned to us maybe. He let go his hand from my eyes and I saw my parents smiling like the newly wedded couple. Mom took me to the chair as if I'm a cancer person, who needs special care.
"Mom I'm fine." I said and sat next to Dad who was eating his pizza.
"Mom, Sophia doesn't feel like eating anything. So I'm going to eat the pizza that was supposed to be hers."
I have loved my mom's handmade pizza. Mom and dad gave me a glare and I sunk down in my chair.
"Who said that, Liam. Don't blame me. Just admit that you want to eat more pizza so you have your eyes on my food and you are trying to convince mom." I giggled and they smiled.
My family is the best. Mom and dad even after being divorced are trying to again start a new relationship. Liam is always there for me. I wonder if some other girl was their daughter and sister,she would be the luckiest girl.
"What are you thinking?" Dad asked taking a sip of his drink. "Just wondering if any other girl was your daughter, she would be the luckiest girl or if I had any other sister, she would feel like the best sister and daughter."
That's when their skin turned pale like they just saw a ghost. What was that?
"What. Are you three dead?"
"Dear. You and Liam are there for us. You make us feel like the luckiest parents." Mom said kissing Liam's forehead. I smiled.
We completed our eating session and now we four were only talking when I thought I should bring dad and Liam more close.
"Dad why don't you take a tour of Bradford?" I asked. He saw me. "Liam can guide you."
"Why me? I mean...Mom can do that." Liam protested. "Mom has to go out with me as she promised." I gave her a look and she understood what I meant. She agreed with me.
"Sweetheart, Liam has his work to do. Maybe you can show me Bradford or I will ask Niall to do that." Dad protested.
"Stop that. Liam is your son, so why will Niall take you on a tour? Even I don't know the roads of Bradford."
"Why are you forcing us?" Liam asked. "Because I want to. I want my Dad and my Brother to behave like son and dad. Stop ignoring each other. Liam, you once asked dad to apologise. I don't know why you asked him to, but he apologised to me more than anyone could count and even after not knowing what his mistake is, I forgave him, please forgive him. Maybe he didn't do that bad."
"He fucking committed a crime." Liam angrily shouted. Did dad kill anyone?
"Whatever crime it is, I forgave him, mom did too. So you have to forgive him too, if not for anyone else then maybe for me. So after I die, I will at least be satisfied that my brother and dad love me and also each other."
"You're not going to die." Dad spoke.
"Humans have to leave one day. It's the rule of life and death. I have to go too. So I declare that you and Liam are spending tomorrow's day together as a father and son's day out and THAT'S FINAL." I shouted the last part. They had to nod apparently as they love me.
I stood up and declared good night to my family when there was a knock at our door. Mom went to receive the person. She opened the door and there stood the person I didn't want to see or did I?
The messed up look like he just threw a punch on some random person outside my house. The tired eyes, like he's had some horrible dreams and stayed up all night.
But he was happy when he was in the basement with her, his lips on her like it was all he ever wanted to do or when he just walked back home from a walk with his youngest sister. So what just happened to him now?
"What are you doing here?" Dad asked like a serious father who was ready to kick his ass out of the house. I shrugged the scene away from my mind. He looked at me and answered. "I have come here to apologise."
"Come in, Zayn." Liam let him in and I ran upstairs as I didn't wanted them to see a show of a weak girl crying. I locked my room's door and sat next to the door with my eyes forming tears in them.
Why has he to be so sweet to come and apologise? Why did I run away? Why did Liam let him in?
Why did I fall for him even after knowing that we couldn't even be good friends? Why has he to be rude in the morning and sweet while the sun sets? Why did Chris do this to me? Why am I not strong enough to want what I want.
Why? Why? Why?
I stood up and threw the frame of my photo angrily on the floor that it shattered into pieces. Tears were running down my cheeks like a waterfall.
I heard my dad shout. "If you behave in a manner unbecoming while you're with my daughter, the authorities won't find your body."
Damn. My dad. Who is he even threatening too? He can be funny sometimes.
"I know right. He can be pretty serious too though." I turned and saw him standing at my door with a shy smile. He had Bruno in his hand.
"How did you get in?" I asked, with no expression on my face. "Liam gave me the keys of the room." Even his voice has the huge effect on me, I knew I melted.
Ugh. LIAM.
"Get out of my room." I snapped and walked to throw him out of the room when he blocked my way and closed the door and locked it. His smile turned to a smirk. The one, I've always adored.
He still has to grin when there is nothing right going on.
"Stop with that smirk." I shouted. It was irritating me in some strange way. His smirk grew more and then let Bruno feel free. Bruno jumped on my bed and started playing with my teddy that Lauren gave me.
I turned and saw him still beaming like an idiot, so I slapped him angrily. I wasn't ready myself for that action, it just happened.
He took a step closer to me and I backed a feet. He again stepped closer and I backed again when my back hit the walls and I was blocked in his ways. He placed both his hands on the walls and blocked me under his grip. It felt like a territory of the king Zayn and I was just his slave.
"Do not do that again." He ordered me, obviously trying not to get annoyed of what I just did, but he was trying to scare me.
"Why do you have to do this?" I asked, almost being on the verge of crying. My breathes were fast as he was not even a inch farther then me. His breathes were hitting on my face.
"Do what?" He asked, provoking me to do something stupid. "Stop you from slapping me again?" He asked then. I just wanted to roll my eyes on him.
"Please forgive me." He whispered turning all serious. "Why are you apologising? I'm not your girlfriend who saw you cheating on me. In fact I'm no one to you. Clarissa Brooke is your girlfriend and you were making out with her so, there's nothing to be sorry about."
"You know it very well that she is not my girlfriend."
Duh, like you ever made that official.
"Then who is she to you? Just a girl you wanted to spend a night with and then leave her? Oh, yes. You do that. You did that to many girls and on the top of all was Clary. She was always your favourite. You don't love her, in fact you don't love anyone as you don't know what love actually means." I gave this speech crying. All this time tears were falling from my eyes and my voice became heavy.
He loosened the grip and left go his hands from the wall. "I'm not what you assume me to be." he looked down.
"I know what you are. I know who you are, to the world, to your friends, to me." I snapped.
"Who am I to you?" he asked his eyes bored in mine. His hazel eyes shone so bright that I wanted to stare in those eyes, lifelong and never stop from falling deep in those beautiful colored eyes.
I looked down and confessed. "I don't really know who you're to me. I don't know what it is that has got me hooked on you." Then I paused, I stopped myself from confessing something that will get us in some awkward situation.
"Please, leave Zayn." I begged him to leave, before I broke down in front of him.
"But why? Why do you want me to leave the room when all you want is for me to stay with you?"
"Who the hell told you that?" I hissed.
"I know. You want me to stay with you." The surety in his voice made me doubt on mine.
"I don't. Now fucking leave my room right now or else..."
"Or else what?" He asked pushing me against the wall and again I was under his grip. He held my wrist tight and I felt those butterflies in my stomach though his nails started hurting me.
"Or else I will again hit you and this time it will be a punch."
"You can't do that." He confidently said. Oh, so sure he was about my weakness.
"I can. Don't fucking challenge me. Zayn, I beg you, please leave the room." I begged him. He lifted my chin up.
"Don't distance me from you. Look, I know what you feel for me, I know what I mean to you. You just have to believe me, that I would never hurt you just because you feel something so special and pure for me."
He stopped and stared me. My heart stated beating faster than it did before I felt like I could die any moment now. He knows everything.
"Zayn, why do you have to be like this?" I was just losing it.
"Like what?" He asked tightening his grip on my arms. His nails were hurting me, they dig their marks on my bare arms.
"You're hurting me, Zayn." I yelled trying to help myself get free from his grip.
"Do you feel the pain? Because I felt that too. When I heard that Harry kissed you, When I saw Nathan flirting with you. When I came to know that you were in love with your ex even after all that happened between you guys and how I felt jealous about it. When I saw that new guy, Wilson trying to get close to you." He shouted with his hand loosen a bit from my arms. He looked down and a tear fell from his eyes. I was shocked. "I felt the same pain when I knew I could never get you to like me, because I was a dick to you."
What the fuck was going on, I was crying, he was crying but none of us told what we felt. I guess we both were afraid to confess the feeling that could get us to some other awkwardness. Yet again, seeing him say all this, seeing him angry and desperate, I knew why I had all those feelings for him.
I wasn't falling in love with him, I was just building up the love yet again, that once I myself demolished down. I was ready to get my love struck heart beats back in the chest and I ain't gonna cry this time.
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Is that a cliff because I see you hanging ! Haha. Until next chapter !