The dim white light coats the room, harshly reflecting off my principal's bald head, into my eyes.
The dull brown walls I've come to think of as a home of sorts surround us, while the comfort of the old red chair I sit on, is still completely absent.
A new picture frame on his coffee colored desk throws of the nostalgic aura of the space.
"I see your wife's had a new baby, what's her name?" I ask, leaning onto the desk, lifting the back of the chair, setting my elbows on either side of the picture.
"Naomi, I can't keep doing this with you. How many times are you going to hurt someone for no reason? You almost choked Megan to death for her spiting a little on you." His pale forehead wrinkles, bringing age to the middle aged man's face. I lean back down, putting all four legs of the chair back on the ground.
"She spit on me. Tell people to stop thinking they can start with me. I don't know why they haven't gotten the memo yet." Actually, I have no problem with it.
He shuts his eyes tight while pinching his nose bridge.
"Naomi. This was the last 3 day suspension I could give you. If you get in any trouble for now on, I'll have to expel you." I scoff.
"Ok." My eyes follow the monarch butterfly landing on his shoulder. She visits me sometimes.
"Naomi! I need you to really listen this time." I watch as the butterfly turns to nothing and sigh, drawing my eyes back to his.
"If your parents come in, maybe we can talk about getting you some serious help." He urges, but he knows they won't come. They've never come in, from the first time I entered this office freshman year to now, my senior year.
"Whatever big guy, I only came in to get my work. Which I still have to do." I get up, heading out.
"Naomi, I know you can do it. You just need a guide." He adds, I wave to him and shut his door behind me. I love that place, it's too bad he lectures me every time I go in there.
I make my way out the office, saying hello to my favorite administrators and such. I reach the main office area, a small petite space, and look to the unfortunate kids sitting in seats, waiting to be addressed.
They all avoid my eyes. I grin. If everyone acted like this, I wouldn't have anyone to mess with. It's still cute though.
My gaze falls on the last boy, sitting at the end and my eyebrows raise as we make eye contact. I haven't seen him around ever. His dark brown eyes follow my hazel. I narrow them at him as I stroll by, grabbing the doorknob.
It would be so easy to stick my fingers in his eyes and feel the orbs burst under my fingertips. I swallow. His cold stare, bores into the side of my face as I open the door and leave. He could be different.
The event quickly slips my mind as I go to do what I came here for. I waltz down the hallway, going to my teachers to collect my three day old homework.
The school day had ended an hour ago, that's when I showed up, so they were still here.
If Mr. Bg haven't stopped me I could've been home already. This was my break, the last day of suspension and I've already over spent my stay at school, on it.
As I grab the last assignment from my biology teacher, I skip down the stairs, in a hurry to go home.
As I walk towards the exit, the boy from earlier stands there, staring down at his phone, his curly black hair flopping on to his face.
He's new. It's too much of a small school to not recognize new faces.
He looks up and our eyes meet. I keep my eyes on his, as he does mine while I walk out of the school. I begin my earshot of a walk home, turning my head back one more time to see his silent glare trained on me.
He doesn't know yet so I'll let him off. I'll give him a couple days to adjust to the school environment, before I do anything. It's only fair.
A smile tugs on my face as the late summer sun is covered by the only clouds in the clear sky.
He could be my next playmate if he can keep up with his shit. Megan's getting a bit stale. Same tricks for an old pony. Shaking my head, I chuckle.
I make it to my house after 15 or so minutes, as I live three blocks away from the school. I open the unlocked door and make my way upstairs. They know not to lock it, especially since they want to avoid all contact with me.
I hop down on my bed, kicking off my scandals and laying down on my queen sized, blue covered throne. I open my Mac and click resume to the serial killer documentary I had been watching the night before.
Men and women who have gone out of their way to take away someone else's life. Goosebumps trail up my arm and the pounding of my heart quickens. The ever present hunger within me churns.
Necromania. An obsession with death.
My blood boils when I think of the power people have to end other's lives.
Ever since I was little, I knew something wasn't right in me. In my head. I was 5, the day I came up to my parents with the dead stray neighborhood cat in my hands.
I had the biggest smile on, explaining to them I had taken care of the cat they hated so much. Pride swelled in my chest as showed them it's bloody smashed-in head.
They took me to a psychiatrist the next day. There they diagnosed me with a mild case of psychosis. Nothing that would greatly impact my normal life. Only, the way I thought of things would be different than normal people.
The specialist told my parents I would be violent, have irrational thoughts at times, potentially dangerous, experience paranoia, and see delusions. The basic stuff anyway.
I saw the devastated look on my parents faces and didn't understand at the time, that this was when they would abandon me.
They got me on pills, took me the psychiatrist from time to time and branded me as a nut case.
They emotionally distanced themselves from me and in due time, when I turned 12, they stopped caring because nothing seemed to work.
I was an embarrassment to their perfect lives. Fuck them.
I never loved my parents as a child would. I don't know if that was because of the neglect or my own mental issues. I don't care much.
I used to daydream smashing in their heads like I had that cat. The thrill that the thought of it sent through me, made it all the more tempting.
At night, I used sneak into their room and stare at them for hours, waiting for them to wake up so I could see the sheer terror in their eyes of me. They lock their doors now. Too bad.
There's this sick line I yearn to cross but I know there's no coming back from.
"... cold-blooded murder." The video draws me back from inside my head. I groan into my covers.
The feel of the furry dark blue blanket against my hands remind me of the dark brown cat that began my down spiral.
Stuffing my face in it, I inhale and the sick satisfaction from that day returns to me for a moment.
I sit up and brush my palm against my long 4c hair. It grounds me better than the medications ever did.
I stopped taking my pills 2 years ago and the muddy waters in my mind seemed to clear up, but my fascination came back stronger than before, and I'm not holding it back anymore.
A deliciously wrong desire clutches at my heart everyday, and it's only a matter of time before I snap.
^^^
The clock hits 10:30 and the bell sounds, as the school fills with the chatter of loud high schoolers. I collect my things and head to my next class, pushing pass the masses.
Whispers about the new kid or from what people say, Daxon, have already spread throughout the school and apparently everyone can't wait to get in his pants, from what I've eavesdropped and heard.
I've caught glimpses of him, throughout the hallways but we don't seem to have any classes together yet. I don't care but he could've been a nice replacement for Megan. I'll live.
"Ms. Harrison, wait!" The deep familiar voice of Mr. Bg halts my hike to class.
"Yes?" I turn around and he stops in front of me, a bit winded.
"I got you a therapist. Here's his number." I look down at the note in his hand and back up at his hope filled eyes. I frown and suck my teeth. Somebody else trying to fix me, great. I love that.
"Thanks." I grab the slip and try to continue on my way when his hands come down on my shoulders.
"You know I'm trying to help, right?" He adds. Kids going to class walk by, glancing at us and snickering, no doubt making another rumor to spread about me.
They have nothing better to do, so I won't blame them. It only makes the urge inside me stronger. I'm not complaining.
My eyes meet Mr. Bg's again, as he waits for my response. I nod. He lets go and claps. The bell rings. I'm late now.
"Sorry to hold you up, just tell your next class you with me, I'm sure they'll believe you." He gestures to me and turns to go do whatever.
He makes it seem like he cares, when he's really just trying to save his school's reputation. Walking away, the back of his neck stands unprotected.
I run up behind him, taking either side of his bald head and twist. A crack sends my toes curling as his knees buckle and he falls to the floor, dead.
I shake my head and take a deep breath, trying to calm the adrenaline pumping in my blood, ready to change thoughts into actions. I have to get to class.
I take another deep breath and pivot on my heel, turning and heading towards Calculus.
With each step, the end of the hallway seems to move a little more out of reach, stretching the white tile floor boards underneath me. My steps quicken, while a menacing laugh crackles from behind me.
I bolt, heading for the stairs that move from me faster now, as if I was running away from it. The voice gets louder and louder. She's going to catch me.
The blueish gray lockers become increasingly higher, leaving me in a valley of dark hole. I freeze. A hand wraps around my neck. My body trembles. She caught me.
"Naomi!" I'm torn out, saved by the sound of my name.
I pant, breathing heavily, eyes frantically looking around at the school hallway, as my legs press up against my chest. I sit leaning up against the lockers.
My heart calms as I realizes I'm safe. Everything looks normal. Of course it does. It's all in my head, as my psychiatrist would've said.
I look up in front of me and see the new kid kneeling, that cold stare from yesterday, present in his eyes now. His hand on my knee, squeezes almost painfully, as his fingernails dig into my skin.
"Are you ok?"
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7/18/20
I'm finally posting this story been working on it for a while. I hope you guys like the first chapter so far. Sorry if the paragraphs are a bit thick.
Update every three days.
Bye bye.