Preeti's point of view
"if your heart is saying that he is innocent then follow your heart because now what I am going to say, you need a heart to hear it."
Kshama took her phone from her hand bag and started looking in it something.
"here... Read all this." kshama said while giving me her phone.
I gasped when I read the news about Siddharth on Google.
"he can't do such sins kshama. I know my Siddharth. He can't rape any girl." I said while looking at her with my teary eyes.
"He can't do such sins." I said with my shaky voice.
My body felt numb. My whole body started shaking in fear. Suddenly My heart started feel heavy.
"when you told me about him that he met you and asking for a second chance. I was so angry and I could not stop myself searching information about him." kshama looked at me concerned.
I don't know what to say or what to do. I just felt numb. My mind stop working.
"but when I read all this I was confused. Few things are didn't fit right in place. So I dig deeper." she said.
"what do you mean?" I asked her collecting myself.
"According to the sources this Anna Smith is one of the board member of his company. When Siddharth's father handed the company to him as C.E.O. , this Anna Smith along with some board members opposed this. But majority of board members voted in Siddharth's favour so as a chair person and a founder of kapoor group his father give the post to him as he think Siddharth is ready to take over the company."
I heard every single word what kshama is saying. I know Siddharth got busy when he take over the company on his shoulder. He had started less talking to me. His whole focus is on company. He even scold me once brutally when I disturb him and I caught fever for a week.
"but with in a month some clients of his company, filed a fraud case against Sid's company. When this news came out, Kapoor's group shares suddenly drop down in the share market, that his company is almost near to the bank currpsy. His clients demanded the arrest of Siddharth as he is the C.E.O of the company. Latter Siddharth took all the responsibility on his head and surrender himself to the police, and you know,.. the date when he got arrested... "
My heart beat stopped and I held my breath when I felt she was going to say something which shock me to the core.
"do you remember the date when he called you to broke the engagement...?"
How could I forget that date. That was the black day of my life. When my life turned upside-down. That was the day when I lost my love. That was the day when my love told me that he doesn't love me anymore.
I nodded my head as yes.
"that was the same day when he got arrested. That was the same day when he surrender himself to the police." kshama said while looking into my eyes.
I gasped and put my hand on my mouth. My eyes are wide open in shock. I never thought in my wild dream that was happening with him. I always cursed that he didn't love me the way I do to him but I never thought he was in a pain.
I lower down my head in guilt.
"when he came out from jail after getting a bail, he got engaged to This Anna Smith who is 6 years older than him." kshama said with a sarcastic laugh.
I raised my head to look at her when I heard her name again.
"..but you know what strange thing is no one went to see him in jail, not his family, not his childhood friend, or should I say his brother, Nick, except his lawyer."
How could Nick do this to him. Nick is like a brother to Siddharth then how dare he was not with him at his hard time.
I was also not with him in his hard time.
I felt hurt and guilt when I realize that. I promised him I will be with him in every situation. I will be standing beside him holding his hand when he need me.
..and I was not with him when he need me most. In those two year I was mourning in pain that he left me but I never thought about his pain. What he was going through. I ashamed myself. I disappointed him.
"No one was there when he got engaged. His family vanished in a thin air like they didn't exist...but his misery didn't stop here, after a month of his engagement with her, this Anna Smith accused Siddharth that he raped her."
I know Siddharth, he never do such crime. He respects women a lot. Why would he forced himself to a girl when girl already throw themselves to him.
"..and this is what, which confused me most. Why would Siddharth raped her when he already had lot on his plate to deal. Why would he add one more problem in his list by raping her and the most important thing why would he raped her if he already got engaged to her and could easily had sex with her after their marriage. He didn't look like a desperate one to me. After looking these photos you show me, this bitch looked a desperate one to me. She was willingly gave herself to him. Then why in the hell he would rape her and last but not the least why he engaged to her in first place when he was dealing with his problems. It's not that he love her so much and can't leave without her. Then why...? "
I have so many questions just like kshama. Why would he did that. Siddharth is not a desperate one. If he is, he took me long back when I was with him. He always respect me and always took care of what I want and if I am in comfortable or not with are little intimacy. I always felt safe and protected around him.
But what about the photos in which he was kissing her and still wearing our engagement ring.
She took my hand in her and squeezed it softly so my eyes can move to her again.
"Preeti I know he broke your heart and I am not telling you all this that you forgive him. But Preeti he was going through a lot as much as you were, may be more than you. I know I only know a half truth but my heart said that he was and he is innocent." she whispered, looking into my eyes.
Tears flowing from my eyes. I can feel his pain. But why didn't he tell me before. I could understand him, may be I forgive him long ago.
I don't want to win your heart out of any sympathy.
His words rang in my mind like a tape recorder. I closed my eyes when I realized what he meant that day.
"He did only one crime by breaking your heart and for that he deserve a punishment from you but don't you think he is getting more than he deserve. He is innocent Preeti. Don't push him too much."
My eyes turn to her again when she said softly.
........................................................................
Right now I am feeling anger and hurt at the same time. I was suppose to be with him when no one was with him. I was suppose to hold his hand when everyone left his hand.
I was suppose to beside him and telling g him that everything's gonna be alright. I was suppose to be his strength when he was vulnerable, when he needs a emotional support.
Why he pushed me, why didn't he let me come near him in his hard time. Why he did this to me. Did he think that I believed in those false proofs over him. How could he think like that.
He knew that I will never believe those shits. I believe him more than anything then why he blocked me to reach him.
Where were his family and friend when they were suppose to stand beside him. I was not with him when he need me the most.
I closed my eyes and more tears fell from my eyes. Kshama running her fingers in my hair as I was lying on her lap.
"you know when I read those things about him in internet, it was like I was reading a different person. It was completely opposite what you have told me about him." she said while running her fingers in my long hair.
"He loves you Preeti. No one can love you like he do."
I wiped my tears with my fingers and closed my eyes and his face flashing in front of me with his heartthrob smile.
"do you know.. Whenever he asked by the media about his personal life that whom he loved or who is his dream girl, he always said that someone is waiting for him in India but everytime he didn't revealed who is she."
More tears came from my eyes listening her. He love me so much but I don't deserve him. I was not with him when he need me then how he could love me. I am angry on him but I am hurt too.
"Preeti..what's your company name?" she asked me.
"P.S. AUTOMOBILES.." I said blankly.
"Do you know what's its full name." she asked me while looking down at me.
I shake my head as 'no.'
I never give attention to its full form and I never bothered to search about it. I just read about it little when I got a call for an interview. I just read in which field it works and skip the basic information.
"Preeti Siddharth Automobiles. That's your company's full name."
My body started shaking because I started cry hard. I hide my face on her lap and started sobbing hard. I don't deserve him. I am ashamed of myself. He love me so much and I always thought that he didn't love me but I am the culprit here. I don't deserve his love. He deserves better than me who loves him more than anything.
Kshama caress my head try to calm me down when I sobbed hard.
"I was angry on him that he left you and broke your heart But when I meet him I saw love in his eyes for you. I saw passion in his eyes for you who can do anything for you."
I got up from her lap in a jolt and set in front of her.
"when you guys met..?" I asked her in a low voice.
"He came here, to our office a week ago or so." she said.
I wiped my eyes with my both hands to clear my vision.
"He didn't tell me anything. Why he came? " I asked her, looking at her.
"To teach a lesson Priyanka and her so called boyfriend or should I say fiance Atul Jha." she said with a smile.
"means..? " I asked her confusingly, as still I don't get her what she is saying.
"means... He came here to teach them lesson for what they did to you. Siddharth beat the pulp out of Atul and scare the hell out of Priyanka. I also slapped her. That bitch deserved that. He also hand them to police and sue them for a fraud and harassing you. He promoted me to the branch manager. Now I am handling the whole branch." she said while giving me a small smile.
I felt like I don't know Siddharth a bit. It's like I still discovering him. He always surprised me by his actions. I told him these things because I wanted to removed my inner frustration. I wanted tell these things to anyone to felt relieved and I choose him but I never thought he take revenge of my every single tear they caused.
"you know what when I asked him about his rape case what he said? " she asked me.
"what he said..?" I asked her, looking at her.
"He said, he would love to die instead of doing such sin."
More tears escape from my eyes. I sobbed hard. My body is started shaking due to cry.
Why Siddharth...?
Why can't you share your pain with me...?
Why....?
........................................................................
Three days passed when kshama told me everything about Siddharth. I also do my search on internet and I have the same doubts like kshama. I never thought that was really happened to him. I wanted to call him and asked him everything but I stopped myself because maybe he doesn't give me the right to share his sorrow and it hurts, it's pain me like a hell. He doesn't think that I deserve to know his pain.
That day when kshama told me everything that night I can't sleep whole night and thinking about him while hugging his photo to my chest. I wanted to feel him close to me.
He hide to me a big truth of his life, maybe he think that I don't deserve to know. After that I don't know if I should confront him or not.
I wish if he once told me that what was happening in his life, I swear I was right beside him next day and do everything which is in my power or at least I could support him emotionally.
"Preeti let's go to the market.I need buy some clothes for neha's wedding and we will buy some vegetables for dinner on our way back to home. Your father asked sambar curry for dinner."
I was in a kitchen washing dishes when mummy came to me and asked me to come with her to market.
"okay.. " I washed my hands and wipe them with towel.
I walked to my room and changed into black plane net anarkali suit.
........................................................................
Mummy and I are in a showroom of traditional Indian wears and a beautiful sale's girl in her twenties showing us a beautiful lehnga.
"Preeti look at this red lehenga. It looks so beautiful. You can wear it on wedding day." mummy said while looking at me with a excited smile on her face.
"mummy it's Neha's wedding not mine then why I should wear red lehenga." I said.
"so what..I like this color and red suits you. I am going to buy this for you." she said stubbornly.
I shake my head and agree what she wants to buy for me.
"What if someone wants to see you in red." she murmured something under her breath but I hear it.
"what do you mean?" I asked her knitted my eyebrows.
"nothing..go try it.. "she said while giving me a lehenga to try it.
Mummy is started behaving weirdly like something fishy is going in her mind. She forced me to go to beauty parlour and buying so many dresses for me. I can understand we are going to the wedding but she is acting like someone coming there to specially see me.
........................................................................
I and mummy in a vegetable market buying vegetables for sambar curry.
My mind is fill with Siddharth whole time. I was thinking about his love, his care and his lack of trust on me. I am thinking about him every second that I forgot about my surroundings.
I heard the sound of giggles of a girl. I turned my head and saw a couple eating ice-cream. Her husband took a ice cream cone from her hand and started licking it.
I smiled when a girl make a pout and turn other side from her husband. Her husband put a ice-cream on a tip of her nose with his finger and lick it.
They both are looking cute. They both looking so in love with each other. I wish I and Siddharth could be happy like this couple.
"It's Rashi.. She got married last year."
I turned my head to mummy. She is looking at the same couple which I was looking at.
"Do you know her? " I asked her while looking at her.
"Her parents are our neighbors. She is sharmaji daughter. You don't know her because she lived in Chandigarh." mummy said while turning her head from them to vegetable seller.
"Bhaiya please pack two kilograms onions." mummy said to the vegetables seller.
"Is her love marriage?" I asked mummy.
Mummy giggle and shake her head.
"No.. Her parents choose groom for her." she said while picking the tomato carefully.
"They are looked like they had a love marriage." I asked while helping her choose the tomato.
"love is not a thing, you wait for it to happen. It just happen. No matter how long you know your partner but when you first time saw him your heart skipped so many beats and you know that he is the one." mummy said looking at me giving me a small smile.
I never thought mummy gave me lecture on love. May be the love between papa and her and 35 years of her marriage gave her enough experience of love.
"can I ask you something?" I asked her while picking a carrot.
"yes.. " mummy said.
"how do you know, papa love you?" I asked her without meeting her gaze. I can feel her gaze on me.
Mummy smiled and turned her gaze from me and said "he never said that he love me but the way he took care of my every small things, the way he looked at me and his trust on me that he shares everything to me enough for me to know his love."
"what if the person you love don't have enough trust on your love that he doesn't share his pain with you, is that mean he doesn't love you or that he think that you don't deserve him." I whispered and lower my eyelids.
"No, when the person you love don't share his pain with you, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or doesn't have trust on your love. Sometimes its mean that he love you so much that he can't look you in pain. No matter if pain is emotional or physical, He wants to protect you from it. He can endure all pain but cannot look you suffering. Sometimes he has to stay away from you for your own sake but it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. " she said while giving me half smile.
A lone tear escaped from my eyes and I wiped it before mummy can notice it.
"Isha ji.. How's Ramesh ji now..I got worried when I came to hear that he suddenly had a chest pain at night. I am sorry we were not here to help you" One of mummy's friend came to us and asked about his health.
I looked at mummy in confusion because I don't know papa had a chest pain and he got admitted to hospital.
"Now he is fine Meena. Ramesh friend's son was here to help us." mummy said.
I was waiting to finish their talk so I can ask mummy why didn't she tell me about that. Why the hell everyone hides things from me.
After sometime they both bid a goodbye, promising each other to meet soon.
"what happened to papa? Why didn't you tell me before about his health?"
I asked her while picking the begs full of vegetables.
"I don't want to worry you. He is fine now." mummy said.
"mummy what happened to papa I want every single detail." I asked her while walking beside her.
Mummy huffed and said, "one day after having a dinner when I and your papa went to sleep, he suddenly started having a chest pain. I got worried what to do so I called Anit but he was out of station. That night rain was also pouring heavily. I don't understand whom to call so at last I called Siddharth."
"Siddharth.." his name came out from my mouth in a low voice and shockingly.
I looked at her with shockingly. She called him for help. He also didn't tell me about that. Why did he always hide everything from me.
Mummy nodded her head and continue.
"luckily Siddharth was in a same city. He immediately came to home, took your father to hospital and admitted him in a I.C.U. Your father got treated immediately and Siddharth completed all the formalities in hospital and pay the bills. If he was not there may be we lost your father. He didn't sleep that night and upcoming three nights in hospital. He took care your papa like his own father. Next day everyone arrived to meet your father." she said while looking at me. I saw tears in her eyes like she was seeing that night in her mind.
My eyes welled up in tears. Siddharth took care of my family behind my back and never told me what happened to papa. I should be there beside my family when papa admitted to hospital but he was there to support my family.
"Preeti we all forgive him and now it is your turn to forgive him. He earn his forgiveness now he deserve happiness and you are the only one who can make him happy." mummy said and started walking ahead of me.
My whole body got numb. He have done so many things for my family when I was not with them. He never fails to surprise me.
How could I stop myself to love him when he always make it hard to me not to love him.