I could hear my parents arguing from my room. Dad was yelling nasty things about James and then dragging my name into it, wondering how he is supposed to protect me if I keep disobeying him about going out alone. Mom thought they were being too hard on me, but Dad said they weren’t.
I grabbed my iPod and cranked up the volume on it to drown out their argument, deafening my ears with All Time Low’s song Time Bomb. I lay down on my bed, forcing myself to forget everything that has happened today. It wasn’t easy because I kept replaying the whole image in my head when he climbed on top of me. Tears flowed down my face as I lay there, not even wanting to move at all. I did it last time when it all happened. I just lay in my bed not wanting to move. I wouldn’t even talk to anyone or eat. For a week I did it and only came out to use the bathroom. I wouldn’t even come out when the police wanted to talk to me so they could fill out a report on what happened. I just didn’t want to be reminded of it.
I eventually fell asleep, falling into endless nightmares of what happened in the car. I woke up crying over it and the worst part was I couldn’t tell my parents what happen this afternoon. I missed the days when I was younger, and if I ever woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, Mom or Dad would comfort me and assure me that everything will be fine and I could go back to sleep. But since the night it all happened, the comforting they used to give me as a kid wasn’t there anymore. Maybe it was, but I couldn’t feel it. To me they didn’t understand me or what I had gone through. They thought they knew but truthfully they didn’t. The only person who could really comfort me was James.
Mom knocked on my door a few times to check on me, but I just ignore her. I didn’t feel like speaking to anyone in my family.
I lay there on my side, staring at the red digital numbers of my clock. It was five minutes after midnight. I tried to get back to sleep but I couldn’t sleep at all. I was afraid to close my eyes because I knew the nightmares will grab a hold of me. The battery on my iPod was flat and I felt as my mind was going insane without the music filling my ears.
A soft knock came from my window. I turned to it to see James standing there. I leaped out of bed and opened the window, helping him inside. As soon as he was inside, I wrapped him into a hug, glad to have him here. He moaned when I hugged him.
“Please be careful when you hug me, Ellie,” he told me.
I pulled away from him and went to turn on my bedroom light. As soon as I turned to face him, I gasped. He had dried blood on his lip, nose and his forehead, as well as a bruise forming around his eye.
“Oh my gosh, what did he do to you?” I asked.
“He belted me for letting you go.” He lifted off his shirt, revealing a huge purple bruise on his chest.
“James, you need to go to the hospital.”
He shook his head. “No. They would want to know who did it. Dad would tell them that I raped you again.”
James had a point and I couldn’t bear to watch him to be taken away again.
“Come in the bathroom with me.” I grabbed his hand. “I will fix you up.”
“What about your parents and brother?”
“They are asleep. Don’t worry. They won’t ever know that you were here.”
I quietly opened my bedroom door and scanned around. Everything was silent and dark. Taking James’ hand, I led him to the bathroom that was across from my room. I switched on the light and then locked the door. I opened up the medical cabinet and searched for something to clean up James’ cuts.
He sat on the edge of the toilet. I pulled out some cotton buds and anti-bacteria to clean away the dry blood.
“I can’t believe he did this to you,” I told him.
“He is an asshole, Ellie. My dad doesn’t respect anyone. And it was either I get beaten up or he would attack you again, which I can’t bear to watch him do to you again.”
“Thanks for saving me, James.”
I wet a cloth and then stood in front of him, cleaning up the dry blood on him.
“I wish I had stopped him from doing it last time.”
I dabbed the cloth on his forehead where a cut was dried up there. “James, there’s no need for you to blame yourself. I’m not blaming you.”
“Yeah, but what kind of friend am I for not stopping him from doing it?”
He had a point and I should hate him for not helping me. But he did try to stop it. Mr Waters just kept pushing him away every time he tried to come anywhere near me.
“How come you don’t hate me, Ellie? I mean, you should hate me for not stopping my dad enough.”
I removed the cotton bud from him and set it down on the sink beside me. James seemed so determine to know why I didn’t hate him. Maybe I could hate him for what happened, but I didn’t see the point in hating him. None of it was his fault anyway. If he was the one who had raped me, instead of his father, then I would have a reason to hate him.
“James, you’re my friend. You did your best to help me even if you couldn’t completely stop your dad. You probably could, but you and I both know that you didn’t have a chance against him. I mean, look at how he had beaten you up in the car.”
“I fought back with him in the car, and he wouldn’t even let me touch him. He kept beating me repeatedly. I thought he was going to kill me.”
I dabbed some anti-bacteria onto the cotton bud before applying it to his wounds. He flinched a little when it came in contact with the skin.
“Where’s your dad now?” I asked him.
“He is somewhere out getting drunk.”
“How did he know you were with me?”
“He followed me. He was watching everything we did.”
I put the cotton bud down on the sink and then sat down on the tile floor, resting my back up against the cabinet. Everything felt as if James and I aren’t meant to be together. Our family members watched our every move, pulling us away every time we got too close to each other. Not only was our family watching us, but we did the people of Los Angeles. Everyone knew our faces. They didn’t stop us from being together, but they watched us like our lives were a reality show.
“Why does everyone watch what we do, especially when we are together?” I asked him. “I mean, it’s not like we are doing anything wrong.”
James got off the toilet and kneeled down in front of me. He reached over and tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear, before resting his hand on my chin, lifting it up so I was looking directly at him.
“Listen to me, Ellie, we will get through this together,” he replied.
I let a smile cross my face and then hugged him. I stayed in his arms, not wanting to move away from him.
Suddenly we were forced to pull apart from each other when a sudden knock came from the door.
“Ellie? Is someone is there with you?” Daniel’s voice asked from the other side of the door.
James and I stared at each other, not quite sure what to do. I knew if my brother caught James in here, hell would break loose. My parents would call the cops.
We glanced around the room, searching for a place for him to hide. There wasn’t really a place for him to hide. He could hide in the shower, but knowing my brother, I knew he was going to walk in here and search for James. I had to get him out of here.
“Ellie? Are you going to answer me?” Daniel asked me again. “Open the door, Ellie.”
I walked over to the window and opened it. “Here, climb out and then sneak back around to my room without anyone seeing you,” I whispered to James.
James nodded. I helped him with a leg up and he climbed out the window. I cleaned up the mess in the bathroom so Daniel wouldn’t be suspicious with what I was doing in here. He continued knocking on the door and I feared that he was going to wake up our parents.
I opened the door.
“What were you doing in there?” he asked me.
“Nothing,” I replied. “I was just using the bathroom if that’s alright with you.”
I tried to pushed pass him, but he stopped me, blocking my path so I couldn’t get out.
“Who were you talking to?”
“Nobody, Daniel.”
“Bull crap, Ellie. I heard you talking to that bastard. Now where is he?”
I didn’t answer him at all. And when I didn’t answer him, he pushed me out of the way, stepping into the bathroom and glanced around. The first place he checked was to see if he was hiding in the shower. Thank goodness I didn’t get him to hide in there.
“See, I told you he isn’t here,” I replied.
Daniel looked at me, knowing I was lying. He walked over to me. “Listen, you can think you can sneak James in here, but you’re so wrong. Just so you know, Ellie, that if I even catch him stepping inside this house, I swear I will bash the hell out of him.”
“There’s no way I’m allowing you to do that. You have to go through me.”
Daniel laughed. “I don’t think so, Ellie. You know, if you want to stay friends with him, be my guest. But if he rapes you again, don’t come crying to me.”
I didn’t say anything as Daniel continued to stare at me, waiting for me to say something. I saw the anger in his eyes. It was then I realise that if he ever saw James, he was going to kill him. It reminded me of the anger I saw in his eyes when this whole thing started. I never ever thought of how Daniel could be so overprotective towards me until that day.
I felt as the world had come to a stop. I lay there naked on James’ bed, staring up at the ceiling. Mr Waters had just walked out laughing. James was calling my name but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I felt the bed dip beside me as he sat down, trying to get my attention as he waved his hand in front of my face. My body was just in shock from the terrifying experience I just had, and everything around me didn’t matter anymore. I was just trying to work out what had just happened and why I was here. When I didn’t answer James, he got off the bed and searched for my clothes on the floor, putting them on for me. He was just putting my shirt back on when the door of his room suddenly opened. Two officers walked in and arrested him. James tried to explain to them what had happened, but they didn’t want to hear it. At the back of my mind I was screaming at the officers, telling them it wasn’t James, but my mouth didn’t want to open at all.
An officer approached me, asking me if I was alright. Without saying any words, I shook my head. He asked me if I wanted him to call anybody but I shook my head. They took me to the station. They took my phone so they could call my parents. I didn’t want them to do that, but they said they had to. I was locked in a room where I sat with a female officer at a table. She wanted me to tell her everything that had happened. I wanted to tell her that James was innocent but my mouth was still frozen shut.
“Ellie, you need to tell me what happened so I can help you,” she told me.
I still wouldn’t answer.
“Did James Waters attack you, Ellie?”
The moment she asked me that, I had a flashback. As soon as I saw the image, I burst into tears. The officer stood up from her chair and kneeled beside me, embracing me.
“Who did it, Ellie?”
I didn’t answer. I continued to sob into the woman’s chest. The door opened. An officer walked in saying my parents were here. I didn’t want to see them. The woman officer asked him to give us a second. He left the room.
“Ellie, I know you’re upset, but I need you tell me who it was that attacked you,” she continued. “Was it James Waters?”
I didn’t want to answer her. I just wanted to get out of here and run away with James where his father couldn’t find us.
“Ellie, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what happened.”
That’s because you can’t help me.
I stood up from the chair, not wanting to speak with the officer anymore. She called me back but I ignored her, walking out of the room. As soon as I did, my mother rushed over to me, pulling me into a hug. I didn’t hug her.
“What happened, Ellie?” Dad wanted to know. “We were told you were attack. Are you okay?”
No, I’m not okay! I screamed inside my head. I was tired of getting asked if I was alright. It was clear I wasn’t so why was I kept getting asked that?
A door opened. I glanced over my shoulder, pulling away from my mother. James had walked out of an interview room with two officers with his hands in cuffs behind his back. I could see the fear in his eyes and the confusion as well, unsure why his father did this to me.
The moment my brother caught sight of James, he marched over to him, ready to pound his face in. Dad grabbed him before he could lay a finger on him.
As soon as I got home I ran up the stairs and into the bathroom, locking myself in there. I stripped off my clothes and hopped into the shower, washing myself. I felt dirty after that pig touched me. But even when I did wash myself, I still felt uncleaned. I sat on the floor of the shower, letting the warm water fall down on me as I cried. I felt horrible because I couldn’t stand up and say that James was innocent. I wanted to say it but my mouth wouldn’t allow me to.
Daniel turned from me and headed to his room, closing the door. I stood there for a moment, thinking about everything. I tried not to think of what Daniel could do to James if he knew he was hiding out in my room.
I switched off the light and headed to my room, closing the door and locked it. I switched on the light to see James sitting on my bed.
“Does Daniel know I’m here?” he asked in a soft voice so my brother couldn’t hear him.
I sat beside him. “He must have been awake and heard your voice.”
“I should go.”
He stood up, but I grabbed him.
“No, don’t go. Please stay here.”
“What if your parents or your brother finds me here?”
I wrapped my arms around him tightly. “They won’t find you.”
“I should go anyway before my dad returns home and finds that I’m not there.”
“Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?”
He promised he would. I lay down on the bed and he lay beside me, holding me in his arms. I missed the days when we would lie in bed together, wrapped in each other’s arms. Whenever we were alone we would just lay there. Sometimes we would just lay there in complete silence or we would talk about things that were bothering us.
I was afraid of falling to sleep, knowing what had happened this afternoon was going to continue to haunt me in my sleep. But surprisingly it didn’t. Maybe it was because James was right here beside me and he took away the nightmares. Instead I dreamt about James finally being free of his criminal record. Even if it was just a dream, I wanted it to be real. I didn’t want to see James suffer any more from the hatred he was getting from people. Someday James and I will be the ones with the smiles on our faces and then laugh at everyone, proving them right that he was innocent.