"So what type of food do you like?" Max asks and I laugh. What a normal question for her to ask me. We really don't know much about each other besides the fact that we usually don't get along and we are complete opposites. I pull my matted, almost dry hair into a bun and think for a second about what I want to eat.
"Well, I like anything really as long as I know what it is, and it doesn't involve ketchup" I tell her and she laughs.
"You don't like ketchup? Aren't all Americans supposed to love ketchup?" She teases me.
"I have no idea but it is disgusting." We both laugh and I look over at Max. Her hand is still on my thigh and I hope she never removes it.
"Let's just stick with a plain diner then?"
I nod and she reaches to turn the music up but stops and puts her hand back on me.
"So what do you plan on doing after college?" She asks me. She has already asked me that before, in his room.
"I am going to move to Seattle immediately, and I hope to work at a publishing house or be a writer, I know it's silly" I say, suddenly embarrassed by my high ambitions. "You already asked me that before remember?"
"Not it's not. I know someone who knows the CEO of Vance Publishing house, it's a bit of a drive but maybe you should apply there for an internship, I could talk to him."
"What? You would do that?" I am surprised, even if she has been nice for the last hour, this is beyond what I expected.
"Yea, it's not a big deal" She seems a little embarrassed. I am sure she isn't used to doing nice things.
"Wow, thank you. Really. I need to get a job or internship soon anyway and that would literally be a dream come true" I tell her and clap my hands. She laughs and shakes her head.
"Your welcome" She pulls into small parking lot with an old brick building in the center of it. "The food here is amazing" she says and climbs out of the car. Max walks to the trunk and opens it, grabbing another plain black t-shirt, she must have an endless supply. I was enjoying her being shirtless so much that I forgot she would eventually have to put one back on.
When we get inside we seat ourselves and the place seems deserted. An old woman walks to the table and hands us our menus. Max ends up ordering a hamburger and fries and I do the same.
"Good huh?" She asks as I take my first bite. I nod and wipe my mouth off. The food is delicious and we both clear our plates. The drive back to the dorm is relaxed and I tell Max about growing up in Richland, she says she has never heard of it. She isn't missing out on much, the town is small and everyone does the same things and no one ever leaves. Except me, I will never move back there. She doesn't offer me much information about herself but I am hopeful that she will soon. She seems very curious about my life as a child and she frowns when I tell her about my dad's drinking. I had mentioned it to her before while we were fighting but this time I went into a little more detail. Her long fingers rub circles onto my leg as she drives and I am disappointed to see the WSU sign as we drive onto campus.
"Did you have a nice time?" I ask her. I feel so much closer to her now than I did a few hours ago. I know she can be nice if she tries to be.
"Yea, I did actually" she seems surprised. "I would walk you to your room but I don't want to play twenty questions with Addison " she smiles and turns her body sideways to face me.
"It's fine, I will see you tomorrow" I tell her. I'm not sure if I should lean in to kiss her goodbye or not. I am relieved when her fingers tug on a few loose strands of my hair and tuck them behind my ear. I lean my face into her palm and she leans over the divider and touches her lips to mine. It starts as a simple and gentle kiss but I feel it warm my entire body and I need more. Max grabs my arm and pulls it to gesture for me to climb over the divider. I quickly oblige and straddle her lap. I feel the seat recline slightly, giving us more room as I lift her shirt a little to slide my hands under it. Her stomach is hard and her skin is hot.
Her tongue massages mine and she wraps her arms around my back tightly. The feeling is almost painful but its a pain I will gladly endure to be this close to her. She moans into my mouth as I put my hands further up her shirt. I love that I can make her moan too, that I have this effect on her. We are interrupted by my phone ringing.
"Another alarm?" She teases me and I laugh.
"No, it's.. Chase" I say as I grab it and look at the screen. Max's expression changes and I hit the ignore button and toss my phone back on the passenger seat. I am not thinking about Chase right now, I push him to the back corner of my mind and close the door. I lean back in to continue kissing Max but stop me and leans away.
"I think I better go" her tone sends chills through me. When I look up at her, her gaze is distant and ice immedtialty replaces the fire in my body.
"Maxxy, I ignored it. I am going to talk to him about all this, I just don't know how or when. It will be soon though, I promise" I tell her. I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that I would have to break up with Chase the moment I kissed Max the first time. I can't date him if I have already betrayed him. It would always hang over my head like a dark cloud of guilt and I don't want that. The way I feel about Max is another reason I can't be with Chase anymore, I love Chase but if I really loved him the way he deserves to be loved, I wouldn't have feelings for Max. I don't want to hurt Chase but there is no turning back now.
"Talk to him about what?" She snaps.
"All of this" I wave my hands around. "Us" I explain further.
"Us? You're not trying to tell me you are going to break up with him.. for me are you?"
What? My head starts to spin. I know I should climb off her lap but I am frozen.
"You don't want me to?" My voice comes out as a whisper.
"No, why would you? I mean yea if you want to dump him go for it, but don't do it on my behalf"
"I just .. I thought.." I start to fumble my words.
"I already told you that I don't date Charli" she says. The only thing that makes me able to climb off of her is the fact that I refuse to let her see me cry, again.
"You're disgusting" I spit and grab my stuff. She looks like she wants to say something but she doesn't.
"Stay away from me from now on, I mean it" I say and she closes her eyes.
I walk as fast as I can to my room, I manage to hold in my tears until I get inside and shut the door. I am so grateful the room is empty as I slide down the door and break into sobs. How could I be so stupid? I knew how she was when I agreed to be alone with her, yet I practically jumped at the opportunity. Just because she was nice to me today I got it into my head that what? She would be my girlfriend? I laugh through my sobs at how stupid and naïve I am. I really can't even be angry with Max, she told me she doesn't date, but I thought today we had such a nice time, she kept her comments to a bare minimum and she was actually pleasant and playful. It was all an act, just so she could get into my pants and I let her.