Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Demons, Imagine Dragons
"Can you close up behind yourself?"
A voice ripped Brad from his thoughts as the brunette jumped in his seat slightly. "Yeah, yeah sure." He mumbled as a response, nodding towards the older man who had spoken to him. "Alright. You know where the key is. Good night and don't stay for too long." He added and Brad nodded absently, nodding along to his words as he heard the door of the pub shut. He shifted in the bar stool he was sitting on and stretched his sore limps wich hadn't been moved in a while. A sigh escaped his lips as he looked down at the words and short sentences he had scribbled down, nothing seemingly good enough to be lyrics for his next song. He scrunched up the paper and stuffed it into the pocket of his jacket before getting up and leaving the pub he had spent the last 5 hours in, locking the door behind himself as he promised. London was cold to this time of the year and a bit of rain fell down from the sky. Brad arrived at his apartment complex all too soon and decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator.
His shoes left wet patches on the wooden planks from the rain that was falling outside. He took in a breath as he stood in front of his apartment door, holding the key in his hand.
Brad unlocked the door and entered his apartment, taking in the smell of cold food and home. He got out of his wet jacket and shoes before walking down the hallway quietly, gently pushing open the door of the last room in the row. A small, sad smile grew on his lips as he saw his boyfriend laying in their shared bed. He was facing him and his chest was rising and falling with small breaths. Tristan usually stayed up when Brad went out and it made the brunette feel terrible to keep him from sleeping so it was a good sight to see him sleeping already. The brunette sat down on the bed, his eyes never leaving Tristans sleeping body. Things hadn't been exactly well between the two or more like really bad. It was an endless circle of fighting and not wanting to be around each other and they both knew they should end it but they were still holding onto that one last thread that was holding them together. Their undying love for one another. Even after nights full of shouting and crying, all they wanted was to hold each other. Things hadn't always been like this. The first year of their relationship was pure heaven filled with love, vacations and affection but everything changed when their second anniversary had barely passed. Tristan was ready to make their relationship public and Brad definitely wasn't. He had enough hate on his back already and he wasn't ready for people saying their opinion about his relationship as well.
"When did you get back?" Brad jumped at the sound of a raspy voice and realized Tristan had opened his eyes while he was lost in his thoughts.
"Like five minutes ago." The brunette answered and the older male nodded slightly before turning his body away from him, trying to sleep once again.
Brad let out a small breath before getting up and unbottoning his dress shirt wich turned out to be a much harder task than he thought it would be, he tended to forget just how much he drank. "Damn..." Brad mumbled to himself as he tried to open one of the buttons. He soon started to rip at the button when he was suddenly stopped by two larger hands pushing his away from the task and undoing the rest of the buttons with ease.
"How much did you drink?" Tristan asked, his tone monotone. Brad blinked at him in response. He hadn't been this close to his boyfriend in weeks. "Will you need a bucket in the morning?" The blonde asked, his tone now impatient. "M-maybe." The younger boy answered and Tristan nodded before disappearing into the bathroom. He came out with a green bucket in his hand before placing it next to the bed. "Do you need help?"
He asked as Brad only stood, staring at him with his shirt still on his arms. The younger male nodded and Tristan stepped over to him, helping him undress until he was only in his boxers. The blonde then laid back down on the bed and rolled away from Brad's side as far as he could. "Good night." He said before silence engulfed the room. Brad was standing in his boxers, staring at the sleeping figure of the man he loved. "Good night..." He whispered back but it was too late for Tristan to hear anyways.
Brad laid down next to his lover and turned to face Tristans back. He reached out and gently stroked along the blonde's spine, letting his knuckle touch the fabric of his sleeping shirt only ever so lightly.
"Can you at least let me sleep." Tristan growled and the brunette pulled his arm back with a sigh. "Sorry." He whispered and only earned silence as an answer. "I love you." He whispered out and looked up at the back of his boyfriends head with hope in his eyes. "Go to sleep Brad." Tristan sounded tired and sad and it made the brunette feel even worse. He bit his lip before rolling over to face the other way, closing his eyes and trying to sleep.
"So how's life at home?" Connor asked and Brad let out a sigh as he placed his coffee mug down. The Scottish male had invited him to a café in the center of London and the conversation was already going a way Brad had wanted to avoid.
"Great. We're perfectly fine." He lied through his teeth and Connor leaned back in his seat, his eyes staring deeply into Brad's soul.
"Don't look at me like that." Brad mumbled and Connor shrugged.
"If you want to keep your secrets that's fine with me but I can't help you this way." He said and Brad turned to look out of the window onto the busy street.
"Fine. You want to know how it is? It's awful. It fucking sucks. Tristan barely talks two words to me per day, I'm just waiting for him to dump me and get it over with." Brad spat and took a long sip of his coffee with three espresso shots.
"If you're so desperately waiting for him to break up with you why don't you do it yourself?" Connor asked and Brad sighed.
"Because I love him. I love him so fucking much." He mumbled and buried his face in his hands.
"And I made him hate me."
Connor sighed sadly and placed his coffee mug down onto the table.
"If he hated you, he would have broken up with you a long time ago. He loves you too, he's just hurt."
Brad scoffed slightly.
"That's the understatement of the year." He whispered and looked to the side, staring out of the window again.
Flashback
"Can I meet your parents?" Brad choked on the tea he was drinking as Tristan spoke the question and he quickly placed his mug down and coughed into his arm pit before looking up at his boyfriend. "You know my parents." He said, his voice raspy from coughing. "I know." Tristan said with a small chuckle. "But I want to meet them as your boyfriend you know?" He said with a smile and Brad tried his best to smile back while anxiety was creeping up his back. He played with the handle of his mug as he stared at the kitchen table, deep in thought. "Well?" Tristan asked and Brad was snapped out of his daydream. "Sorry" He said and cleared his throat before taking in a deep breath. "My parents are homophobic." He then spoke and Tristan widened his eyes in shock.
"Really?" He asked and Brad nodded. "They're very religious and... It's a sin in their eyes." Tristan placed his mug down and leaned back in his chair, taking the news in. "I can't believe it." He mumbled to himself and Brad shrugged slightly. "It's their religion. I've come to the conclusion that it isn't worth starting a discussion over."
Silence filled the room and the brunette moved on his chair uncomfortably. "When are you planning on visiting them again?" Tristan asked, absently stirring his coffee.
"Next week." Brad stated and the blonde looked at him intently.
"Can I come with you?" He asked and his brunette companion widened his eyes.
"You want to come to my parents house where your mere existence is a sin?"
Tristan lifted one of his eyebrows in return and Brad swallowed thickly. "Where our mere existence is a sin."
Tristan said.
"I'm not gay, Tristan."
Brad mumbled and the blonde frowned. "And bisexuality isn't a sin?"
"It's better than being gay." Brad hissed in response and immediately recoiled after the words left his lips.
Tristan closed his eyes, a frown on his face.
He let out a deep breath and got up from his chair. Brad immediately followed suit.
"I'm sorry Tris. I didn't mean for it to sound so-" "Hateful?"
Tristan cut him off and looked down at his boyfriend with anger in his eyes. "Disgusted? Ashamed? Wich one is it Bradley?"
Brad grabbed his boyfriend's hand tightly.
"Please Trissy, you know I didn't mean it like that." He plead but the blonde just pushed him away gently.
"I need some fresh air." He spoke quietly and left, leaving Brad alone in their kitchen.
About two hours later Brad heard a key turning in the lock of their entrance door. He immediately jumped up from the couch and walked into the hallway where Tristan was standing, hanging his coat onto the coat rack.
"Hey." Brad greeted him with a small smile. Tristan turned to him and smiled back tightly.
"Hey..." He mumbled and tried to pass by Brad but the brunette stood still, not letting him into the apartment.
Tristan was about to say something when the younger male gently pushed him up against the wall of the hallway and soon a pair of plump lips met his in a passionate kiss.
The blonde melted into it for a second before recoiling and pushing his boyfriend away. "Brad what are you trying to do? Make up sex?" He asked and the brunette wrapped his arms around his neck. "I want you to meet my parents." He whispered and the blonde frowned. "Really? I thought my mere existence was a-" He was cut off by Brad kissing him again to shut him up. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to sound so hateful and harsh back there. I was just trying to protect you."
Brad whispered and the blonde sighed. "I get it. I'm sure it's awful to live with the fact that your parents don't accept you for who you are."
He mumbled and Brad just smiled sadly. "It is what it is. But I don't want to lose you over this so let's do it together." Tristan shook his head and grabbed his boyfriends hands in his.
"No. I'm not going to force you to come out to your parents when you aren't ready for their response." He whispered softly and Brad smiled.
"I can't believe how lucky I am to have you." He whispered and connected their lips in another passionate kiss. Tristan grabbed the back of Brad's head, titling it to the side slightly to get a better angle.
The brunette let out a soft hum as the blonde's hands traveled down to his lower hips, staying just above his butt. The two pulled away breathlessly and kept their foreheads together.
"What was that you said about make up sex?" Brad asked breathlessly and Tristan let out a chuckle.
Only a week later the two were on their way to the southern part of Birmingham to visit the Simpson household. Tristan was troubled about the situation but he tried to hide it as best as he could to not let Brad know that in reality he was absolutely not okay with hiding his sexuality once again. The brunette was currently sitting next to him, his chocolate brown eyes focused on the road as music played in the background. Tristans mind wandered around in circles. Should he really throw everything he had worked for within himself out of the window?
But on the other side, he was doing this to protect himself from potential harm. He didn't want his second pair of parents hating him for something so liberal. A sigh escaped his lips unconsciously and Brad momentarily broke his eye contact with the concrete ahead of them to look over at his boyfriend. "Are you okay?" He asked and the blonde nodded quickly. "Oh yeah, just tired." He mumbled and fake yawned to give his lie more prove. "We still have two hours before we arrive, you can sleep." Brad told him and the blonde nodded thankfully. "Okay."
Tristan leaned his head against the cold window of the car and watched the trees passing by, his eyes soon fell shut and he could have sworn he heard Brad mumble curse words under his breath but he was asleep before he could think more into it.
About two hours later, the blonde fluttered his eyes open and lifted his head from it's position against the window. He looked around and recognized the driveway of the Simpsons. The blonde looked over to the driver seat and Brad turned off the engine in that moment.
"Sweet home." The brunette said and let out a small sigh before locking eyes with his companion. "How was your nap?" Tristan shrugged as answer while unbuckling his seat belt. "As good as a nap against the car window can be."
The two stepped out of the car and both grabbed their bag from the trunk. Tristan looked around and smiled. Absolutely nothing had changed since the last time he walked up this driveway. Brad pressed the doorbell next to the wooden door and soon loud barking echoed from the inside. Tristan watched in amusement as an excited smile formed on Brad's face at the sound of his beloved dog.
The door then opened and Anne-Marie stood with open arms in the doorway. "Bradley-bear." She said lovingly and took her son into her arms. "Hi mom." The brunette said and hugged his mother back. The two soon pulled away from each other and Anne's brown eyes met with Tristans blue ones. "Tristan!" She called out and pulled him into a hug. "Oh you haven't been here in so long, it's so good to see you love!"
The blonde hugged her back with a small smile. "It's good to see you too. Thanks for having me." He said and the brunette woman waved him off. "Oh please, you're always welcome here." The three stepped into the house and Brad and Tristan placed their shoes next to the door mat.
Brad then fell to his knees to greet his golden retriever who had patiently been waiting next to the door. "Hi Jess." He greeted her and gave her a big hug while scratching her ears.
Tristan greeted her as well with a few scratches and pats.
"Derek should be back from golf training anytime." Anne Marie informed the two boys and they acknowledged it with a nod.
They all sat down in the kitchen together and chatted about everything that had been going on. Tour, writing music and life in general. Brad did most of the talking while Tristan was once again completely lost in thought.
How could such a nice woman be so hateful deep down?
He mindlessly stroked Jesse's fur who had laid her head onto his lap as soon as he had sat down. "And Tristan? How have you been? Is there anything new with you?" The brunette woman asked, her back facing the two boys as she was preparing dinner.
"No not really, it's just same old." Tristan answered and Anne Marie chuckled. "That's a bummer. No new lady in your life?"
Tristan looked over at Brad for a quick second who looked at him with sympathy in his big chocolate brown eyes. "No... Haven't found anyone yet." The blonde mumbled in response and quickly went back to petting Jesse. Brad quickly started talking to his mom about something else and Tristan blocked out the conversation completely and didn't even hear the front door opening. He only snapped out of his thoughts when Jesse barked loudly and ran into the hallway. Brad stood up from his chair and soon Derek entered the room with a smile on his face. "Boys! It's so good to see you two." The older male took his son into his arms and patted his back.
"It's good to see you too dad." Brad greeted his father and Derek pulled away from him to face Tristan who had gotten up.
"Tristan, it's so great that you came along. We haven't catched up in so long." Derek said with a friendly smile and engulfed Tristan in a hug as well.
The blonde hugged back and smiled.
"Thank you for your hospitality. It means a lot." He said and Derek laughed. "Oh please, you're part of the family."
The four sat down at the table about twenty minutes later and ate together in a comfortable silence occasionally broken by Brad or one of his parents telling a story.
"Tristan, love you're very quiet today. Is everything alright?" Anne-Marie asked about halfway through dinner and Tristan shot his head up.
"Oh yes, I'm just a bit tired." He quickly lied and quickly shoved a spoon full of food into his mouth to have an excuse as to not being able to talk. He secretly hoped for a bit of comfort or support by his boyfriend but Brad only stared down at his food.
"So how long will you be staying Tristan?" Derek asked. "Four days." Tristan answered with a small smile and Anne gasped slightly. "Really? Only that short? We were going to show you so much of Birmingham!"
"Are you both going to sleep in your room?" Derek asked and Brad shot his head up with what seemed to be panic or fear in his eyes.
"No of course not!" He said a bit too loudly. His parents looked at him with confusion. He cleared his throat awkwardly before shaking his head.
"Uh no, he's sleeping in the guest room..."
Both of his parents only nodded and Brad's mother looked mad but Brad only ignored her glare by staring at his food and poking at it with his fork.
Tristan swallowed down the pain he felt by that statement and placed his utensils down. "Can I start with washing the dishes? I'd like to lay down." He asked and Anne Marie shook her head. "Oh nonsense love, just go upstairs and I'll do the rest."
Tristan smiled at that. "Thank you. I'll definitely help you tomorrow then. Good night." He said and quickly left the kitchen to go up the stairs.
He stood in the hallway to get his bag when he suddenly heard loud voices.
"What the hell was that Bradley? That was incredibly rude." Anne Marie hissed and Tristan cringed internally at the conflict he had caused.
"I'm sorry okay? I'm just a bit out of it today." Brad answered and Tristan only sighed as he took his bag and left to go upstairs. The last sentence he heard was from Anne Marie. "I'm not the one you owe and apology to."
Tristan laid down on the bed in the guest room and let out a sigh. What a crazy day it had been.
He couldn't stop thinking about Anne and Derek. What would they say if he came out as gay? Would they be disgusted? Would they throw him out?
He placed his arm over his head and groaned. He was so damn confused.
Suddenly he heard footsteps in the hallway and he quickly placed his head down and closed his eyes, pretending to sleep to dodge a potential conflict with his friend.
A soft knock came from the door and Brad's voice called out to him. "Tris? Can I come in?"
He stayed silent, keeping up his sleeping act and the door soon opened quietly. Footsteps entered the room and they came closer to him.
The blonde tried his best to even out his breathing and keep his eyes from moving. Suddenly he felt a soft touch on his skin. A hand gently stroked a strand of hair from his forehead.
He could feel the roughness of the fingers from playing guitar and Tristan almost smiled fondly.
The hand lingered on his cheek for a small second before being retreated.
"God, what am I doing to you?" Was muttered into the room and soon he heard Brad hastily leaving the room and slamming the door shut behind himself wich was soon followed by a yell from downstairs.
"Don't you go slamming the doors in my house young man!"
Tristan opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling.
Now that made him even more confused.
Breakfast the next morning was very akward. Brad said nothing but a quiet 'good morning' to him and kept to himself throughout the whole thing.
Anne and Derek kept asking about Tristan's family and his life and he greatly appreciated the kindness but he still felt a bit shaken up by everything that he had to process so he kept his answers short.
After breakfast, Brad got up and left the room abruptly making his mother scowl. "That little brat sometimes just doesn't know how to behave correctly." She mumbled while scrubbing a plate with a sponge.
Tristan just silently dried the plates and placed them next to the drawer.
Suddenly Brad came back into the room. "I have to go run some errands, I'll be back in an hour." He said. Tristan turned to him but Brad avoided his eyes quickly.
"What do you mean? What about your guest?" Anne asked, her expression was furious but she was obviously trying to play it cool in front of said guest.
"I'll be back soon." Brad dismissed his mother's statement and left the kitchen again. A slam of the front door dedicated his departure and Anne threw the sponge onto the kitchen counter in anger. "Who raised this damn boy?!" She yelled out followed by a groan. "I swear, one of these days I'll pull him over my knee again to teach him how to-" The rest of her rambling was cut off by her leaving the room to get a new towel from the laundry room.
Tristan placed the last plate down and sighed to himself. This trip turned out to be a great mistake.
Anne soon came back into the room with a new towel and placed it down next to Tristan. "I have to apologize for Bradley, I have no idea what's gotten into him. Why don't you sit down while I finish this, yeah?"
She offered and Tristan was ready to object but she already ushered him over to one of the chairs.
The blonde let himself fall into the chair and quickly got lost in his thoughts like so often on this dammed trip.
Anne was soon done with the dishes and stacked them all neatly into one the cupboards.
She prepared tea and placed a plate with biscuits onto the table before sitting down across from Tristan.
Derek came from his office as well and sat down next to his wife.
"Okay Tristan cut the chase," Anne suddenly said and leaned over the table slightly to be closer to him.
"What's going on with you?"
The blonde blinked in surprise before starting to panic.
"What do you mean?" He asked and Anne leaned back again.
"I know you as the loud, always happy and upbeat person that you usually are. I want to know what got you so upset, love."
Derek nodded as well. "You don't have to tell us if you don't want to but I've been noticing it too."
Tristan wrecked his brain for a good lie that they would buy but nothing came to his mind. Should he tell them he was sick? No, they would fuss over him and maybe even send him to a doctor and he didn't want that.
Maybe he could say he was stressed because of the Album but he knew for a fact that Brad told his parents everything. He called them at least once a week and spoke to them for hours on end they probably knew about everything going on and that he wasn't really stressing.
"Tristan, you can talk to us if you need to." Anne said and grabbed his hand gently.
The blonde swallowed thickly. He knew what to tell them. It was the only right thing because he was proud of who he was.
"I'm gay." He choked out and felt a shudder wrecking his body for a second as he said those words but damn, it felt good. It was like weight was lifted off his chest, he felt good about it. It felt right to say it because it was true.
Anne and Derek sat in silence for a few moments and Tristan suddenly came back to reality. The blood in his veins seemed to freeze and another shiver ran down his spine, but this time it was out of fear. What the hell was he thinking? He had promised Brad not to tell them anything and now he just went and threw it out there?
He swallowed thickly and opened his mouth to say something or defend himself when Anne cut him off.
"That's perfectly okay love."
She said with a smile.
Tristan blinked in response as the words progressed in his head. "What?" Was all he could murmur as a response. Anne let out a small sigh. "I know how hard it is to come to terms with your sexuality. A lot of people our age are still very close minded about this topic and I can only imagine how difficult it must be to tell other people." She said thoughtfully and Tristan just gaped at her like a fish out of water.
"Y-you think it's okay? You don't think it's gross or something?" He stuttered out, his mind completely jumbled.
"Oh please Tristan. God's love is great, it goes way further than sexuality can define. He loves everbody." Derek said and Anne nodded.
"We'll support you with whomever you decide to be with and I'm sure your parents will do the same."
Tristan couldn't wrap his head around the situation.
What the hell was happening? They weren't homophobic?
"Was this always your opinion?" Tristan asked and Anne and Derek only nodded response.
"We believe in God and his love for every single Person in the world."
Anne said with a smile.
"Does Brad know this?" He then asked, not thinking about how weird this question may sound.
"Of course. We had a talk with him and his sister about how we would always love them, no matter whom they would date or marry when he was 16 years old."
Tristan's mind was jumbled and he couldn't get a single thought straight expect for one.
He lied to me. Brad lied about this.
He didn't know why he would do that, he didn't know his intentions or what he was trying to achieve but what Tristan did know was that he was really fucking hurt.
"I greatly appreciate your support, thank you for taking me as I am."
He said with a fake smile on his lips. "But unfortunately I have to leave early. So right now."
Anne widened her eyes. "Right now? Why? Did something happen?" She asked and Tristan got up. "It's an emergency within the family."
He quickly lied and Anne was about to say something when Tristan already exited the kitchen.
His blood was boiling and his mind was a mess.
He sprinted up the stairs, taking two steps at a time and ripped open the door to the guest room, stuffing the little clothes he had pulled out into the bag before slinging it over his shoulder. He took in a breath of air as an attempt to calm himself but it didn't work, his heart was racing and it felt like someone was sitting on his chest to keep him from breathing.
His phone vibrated in his pocket and he ripped it out, hammering onto the screen. He opened Brad's WhatsApp chat and started typing. He only sent a few words.
To: Brad
Go fuck yourself.
The message wouldn't bring him any benefit or calm him down for that matter but he needed to say it nonetheless. The blonde shoved his phone back into his pocket and walked down the stairs. He tried his best to calm himself at least a little to face Brad's parents again.
Anne and Derek were still sitting in the kitchen, talking in quiet voices and Tristan didn't have to think long to know they were talking about him. "I'll be leaving then." Tristan called out and they both turned around. "Thank you so much for having me and I'm sorry for the abrupt leave." He said and tried his best to smile slightly.
Anne got up and pulled him into a hug. "I hope whatever happened can get sorted out soon and if your parents don't accept you, our door his always open." She said with a smile and Tristan swallowed thickly. "Thank you." He whispered bashfully and pulled her into another hug.
"Tristan, I wish you all the best for your way ahead. We will be praying for your family." Derek said and Tristan felt very bad for lying to them. "Thank you. That means a lot." He said and hugged Derek goodbye.
The blonde smiled once more and waved before quickly leaving the living room to keep himself from crying in front of the two.
He shoved his bag into the trunk of his car that he and Brad had taken to his parents. Brad had obviously taken the family's car to leave to wherever the hell he was going.
Tristan sat in the driver's seat and took in a deep breath. He needed to calm down so he could drive.
Tears kept gathering in his eyes and the blonde cursed himself for letting Brad hurt him so easily. But how couldn't he? Their relationship had been the best thing that ever happened to him until now.
Tristan leaned his head against the head rest and tried to slow down his breathing and fight the tears at the same time. He sat there for a few minutes when he heard a car driving towards the house.
He opened his eyes and saw the family car of the Simpsons pulling up the driveway next to his car and he turned the key in the engine without hesitation. The car engine roared to life and Tristan gripped the staring wheel. He was about to press the gas pedal down when Brad came running from the side. The brunette latched onto the bonnet of the car, stopping Tristan from driving forwards.
"Tris stop! You have to let me explain!" He yelled, his eyes pleading.
"Get out of my way!" Tristan yelled in response. "I won't. Talk to me please!"
Brad called out and the blonde finally snapped. He ripped open the car door and stepped out. "You want to fucking talk? Okay then let's talk."
Tristan said and pushed Brad back slightly. "How about we talk about you telling me your parents whom mean a hell lot to me are homophobic?
Why the fuck would you put me in a situation like that? Have you even come to terms with your own sexuality? Do you even love me?"
Tristan asked, his voice going from furious to deeply hurt.
Brad shook his head heavily.
"Of course I love you Tristan. You mean the world to me!" He said desperately.
Tristan looked at him with disappointment and sadness in his ocean blue eyes.
"How could I believe that after all of this?" He asked.
Brad's bottom lip quivered as his eyes welled up with tears.
"You have to believe me Tristan. Please. I don't want to lose you."
But his boyfriend only shook his head in response.
"I can't believe you, Brad. Because think the real person who's homophobic here is you."
Tristan whispered, his voice filled with hurt and his eyes dull.
He got into the car while Brad was standing there, stiff like a statue as Tristan backed out of the driveway.
Present
"I should have tried harder. I should have gotten over myself." Brad said, burying his hands in his brown curls in frustration. Connor looked at him intensely. "Why did you tell him your parents were homophobic?" He asked and his older friend kept his head down, deep regret swirling in his aura.
"When he first asked to meet my parents as my boyfriend I panicked. I didn't want my parents to know about my sexuality. I was... Ashamed."
Brad explained, his voice dull and sad.
"So I told him that they wouldn't accept us to make sure he wouldn't tell them about us or even his own sexuality just because I was fucking scared they'd think I was gay like him." He spat. His top lip twitched in disgust with himself.
"I betrayed his trust for my own selfish reasons and I made him insecure about his sexuality when he had just come to terms with it himself." Brad's fist slammed onto the table in anger. Their cups clattered loudly and Connor let out a sigh at his friends self hatred.
"And have you now?" Connor asked and Brad looked up at him.
"What do you mean?"
"Have you come to terms with your sexuality?"
Brad swallowed thickly at the question. "I don't know." He whispered.
Connor let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair.
"Can I be honest with you, Brad?"
The brunette only looked at him in silent confirmation and Connor continued.
"If you haven't come to terms with it, I think it's time to end this." He said and Brad bit his lip.
"Tristan has his own problems, his insecurities and baggage he has to carry around. A relationship isn't meant to add on top of that.
You should help and comfort each other not add to each others problems." He said softly.
Brad chewed on his bottom lip, his eyes welling up with tears as he looked up at his friend.
"I love him. I really do." He whispered and Connor smiled sadly.
"Then maybe it's time to let him go."
That evening, Brad didn't go to the pub. He didn't drown himself in work or alcohol, he unlocked the door to his and Tristans apartment at 8pm and entered the living space.
"You're here?" A voice called out and he turned his head to the kitchen where his boyfriend stood, a glass of rum in his hand and a confused expression on his face.
"I decided to come home early today."
Brad answered the blonde who only nodded in response and continued to sip at his drink.
The two stood in silence. A silence that made Brad want to curl up in a ball and cry for the rest of his life.
"Do you think we should break up?" He whispered. His voice broken down to a little whimper and his hands shaking at his sides.
Tristan stayed silent for a few long awful moments until he finally spoke.
"Yeah."
The answer felt like a stab in Brad's chest as he bit his bottom lip again, his eyes glazing over as he nodded gently in response.
"Do you want to break up?"
He whispered out. One last string of hope was dangling from his heart and he grabbed at it desperately like a life line.
"No."
When the quiet response came he couldn't help but smile. A broken smile filled with pain and guilt but it was a genuine smile that showed the little shine of happiness he felt by hearing those words.
Tristan broke the eye contact with his glass and finally met Brad's brown orbs.
The two held their eye contact.
No words were exchanged as they took each other in.
"Do you think we can make it work?" Brad asked his next question and Tristan broke their eye contact, his eyes going back to the drink in his hand.
"I don't know." He answered and Brad only stared at him.
"I'm asking you, Brad." Tristan stated and looked up at his boyfriend again.
"Has your mindset regarding our relationship or your sexuality changed at all?"
The question made Brad swallow thickly as he looked down at the ground.
"I don't think so." He answered, fully honest.
Tristan nodded slowly in response and lifted his glass to his lips again, taking a sip of the alcohol.
"Yeah I thought so."
But Brad wasn't ready to give up.
He strode forward until he stood only one step away from his boyfriend.
"But I can try to change. And for real this time. You only need to give me one last chance darling." He whispered desperately and searched Tristans eyes for any sort of confirmation but doubt clouded the ocean blue color he loved so much.
The brunette then whipped out his phone. "I'll prove it." He said and opened the Twitter app.
"Brad what are you doing?" Tristan asked, his relaxed composure gone as he stood straight and stepped closer to his boyfriend who only took a step back in response.
"I'm telling the world the truth.
I'm telling them that I love you and that I'm proud to be called your boyfriend." Brad said, his tone firm and determined.
"Brad give me the phone. You're not thinking this through." Tristan tried to keep calm and composed while he was panicking in his head.
"This could seriously harm your career. Give me your phone and take a deep breath."
Brad only started typing in response.
"Brad. Don't." Tristan said firmly and tried to grab the phone from his boyfriends hands but Brad only fled into the living room.
"I'm going to prove that I love you."
He said as he stood on the couch to avoid Tristans grabbing hands.
"When I tell everbody you will finally believe that I'm serious about this-"
His speech was cut off when Tristan grabbed him and pushed him down into a laying position on his back.
When Brad came down from the small shock he already felt a pair of soft lips on his. His eyes fluttered shut and his arms slowly wrapped around the blonde's neck, pulling him closer to get more of the wonderful feeling he had missed so much.
Tristan grabbed Brad's phone carefully while the brunette was distracted and put it into his back pocket.
"I'm willing to try without any proof,"
He whispered as soon as they pulled away, trying to catch their breaths.
"And I'm not letting you put yourself in harms way just because of me."
Brad stared up at his boyfriend, a frown on his face.
"Don't you think I've hurt you enough?" He whispered and the blonde only sighed.
"I don't know what to say Brad. What you did back then broke my heart and hell I wanted to scratch your eyes out many times but..." A small smile formed on his face as he looked at Brad below him.
"Then I would never get to see those beautiful pools of chocolate brown again and I don't think I could live like that."
Brad felt his cheeks heating up and he bit his lip to keep himself from smiling like an idiot.
The two stayed silent for a little longer, staring at each other. Tristan was leaning onto his elbows, holding himself above Brad as they laid on the couch in their living room.
"So you're willing to take me back?"
The brunette whispered and the taller male nodded gently.
"Technically I can't take you back since we were never broken up in the first place." He added and Brad just rolled his eyes in response.
"But this is your last chance okay?"
Tristan added, his tone gentle but truthful and fierce. Brad nodded understandingly and pulled the blonde's head closer to himself so he could kiss him again.
"I'm planning on using it wisely."
___________
Wow two updates within one month? What's going on?
Hope you all liked this one.
A bunch of stuff is happening in my life at the moment and this kind of just emerged from it all.
(Also, in case anyone has ideas for the part 2 of my OBSESSED One Shot please let me know I am fully lost on that one and it's my favorite One Shot I've ever written)
Stay safe, love y'all xx