Onika had already left for the hospital by the time Beyoncé woke up at 7:30 the next morning.
After leaving Onika's bedroom the night before, Beyoncé had quietly gone back to her own, locked the door, and stripped off her clothes to take a hot shower. She was stressed and upset by the conversation that she and Onika had just had. Only moments into her shower, though, she burst into tears, slumping against the cold tiles and sliding to the floor, sobbing with her knees against her chest.
Despite it only having been a month knowing the older woman, Beyoncé knew that she was already falling for the beautiful, sophisticated surgeon. She'd crossed having an affair off her list of options for how to deal with her feelings, and yet when the older woman had confronted her directly, she'd folded faster than a poker player with no money left to bet despite a decent hand.
But good god, it had been good. So good. Being pressed up against Onika's toned, naked body had felt incredible, certainly better than the sex she'd had with either previous boyfriend. The sounds she'd caused to fall from the older woman's lips were maddening, and Beyoncé wasn't sure she'd ever heard anything sexier in her life. Sex with Onika had felt right, not like she was having an affair with a married woman.
Nothing Onika had told her so far led Beyoncé to believe her husband was a bad man. Onika had only said that he hadn't touched her since before Anyla was born, and the thought of him knowing and having what he had, yet not wanting it made Beyoncé furious. Onika was brilliant, beautiful, a good cook, a wonderful mother, a loving, caring human being. And she was sexy, especially when she had that lustful look in her eyes. How could he just throw that all away?
There had to be something underneath the surface of Onika's relationship with her husband that she was keeping from Beyoncé. Something darker, or at the very least, unsavory, Otherwise, why would Onika be okay with seducing her? Was it simply because Onika craved affection and intimacy from another person? Was it the excitement of having a secret affair? Was it Beyoncé herself? What did she, a 19, almost 20 year old woman in junior college, planning to transfer to a four-year college to finish a bachelor's degree, have to offer a wealthy, beautiful, genius like Doctor Onika Maraj?
All of these thoughts had come rushing to her at once, causing a complete meltdown in the middle of her shower. They haunted her, teased her, drove her insane.
When the younger brunette had woken up the next morning to find that Onika had already left, part of her had felt relieved, but part of her had wanted to panic. Was Onika running from her?
While Beyoncé tried her best to proceed throughout the day with the children's normal routine, the thoughts that had caused her to fall apart in the shower the night before still crept in. She had no idea what she was going to do about Onika. The black haired woman had already gotten underneath her skin, had forged a place for herself deep inside of Beyoncé's mind and heart, and trying to decide whether she would be able to handle the aftermath of throwing themselves into such a complicated situation, she realized, was already proving to be one of the most difficult things she'd dealt with so far in her almost 20 years of life. She knew, though, somehow deep inside, that Onika would be worth it, but when all was said and done, would the older woman turn her entire life upside down, along with the lives of her children, just to be with Beyoncé?
Beyoncé wasn't so sure.
*****
Onika felt agitated. While normally she enjoyed her job, being called into the hospital an hour early had thrown a wrench in her plans. The way things had ended the night before, Onika had wanted to at least have a brief conversation with the young brunette to make sure she was okay.
But reality had come knocking at her door and as a result, she spent most of her day when not in surgery being distracted, thinking about Beyoncé and their night together.
She didn't regret a single moment, except perhaps the moment when she had been unable to contain her emotional outburst after Beyoncé had brought her to orgasm. But their kiss, having Beyoncé touch her, pleasuring Beyoncé...Onika regretted none of that. Being with the young brunette had been more fulfilling in one night than the last several years of her marriage, and if she was perfectly honest with herself, she wanted more of Beyoncé.
When the first thought of actually seducing Beyoncé had crossed her mind only a week prior, it had honestly startled her, despite having felt an intense connection with the young woman from the moment they'd met. Her marriage the last few years had been mediocre at best, even though her husband was otherwise a good man and father. He had simply stopped touching Onika sexually toward the end of her pregnancy with Anyla, and while she certainly longed for the physical connection, she felt too ashamed to ask. She didn't seek out help from a couple's therapist either, because she had always been told her entire life that what she had was eventually what marriage became, especially after having children. Why would she expect any different from her own?
She was not, however, a fool. After three years, it was almost a given that her husband had had affairs, perhaps even a few long-term ones, but still she stayed and just continued about her normal life, performing surgeries and taking care of their children. The thought of seeking out her own clandestine companion had crossed her mind many times, but between work and the children, she found neither the time, nor the energy to do so.
With her husband out of the country for the summer, though, she knew she would need help taking care of the children, so she had asked colleagues if they knew anyone who would be willing to be a nanny. Tina Knowles approaching her and suggesting her own daughter ended up being the perfect idea, a win-win for all.
Though Onika had expected Tina's daughter to be fairly intelligent and good with children, Beyoncé was far more brilliant and intuitive than she ever would have imagined, especially for someone not even 20 years old. What surprised Onika most, however, was just how strikingly beautiful Beyoncé was. For Onika, the intelligence, connection with her children, and beauty all together were a lethal combination. Beyoncé was rare, and Onika wanted her desperately, not only as a lover, but as a friend and confidante as well.
When the older woman finally admitted to herself her desire for Beyoncé, she began to flirt openly with her, hoping the young woman might get the hint, but still Beyoncé did not cross the invisible barrier between them. Beyoncé confessing that she did feel something developing between them gave Onika a little more incentive to push harder, and the emotional moment between them the night before had broken down both their walls, causing both of them to give in to overwhelming desire and temptation.
The sex had been incredible, Onika thought, and their established friendship before made their heated encounter even more meaningful for the lonely black haired woman. She wanted to be with Beyoncé again, as much as possible, in fact, in the short time they had alone together. She knew that she would have to handle the situation carefully when her husband returned, but what she thought she was beginning to feel for the young woman would change her world completely.
If, and only if, Beyoncé would allow it.
*****
Just as Beyoncé was crawling into bed, completely exhausted at almost 9:45, her phone chimed with a text message.
Onika M.: I'm sorry I didn't get to see you this morning. I got called to the hospital a little earlier than scheduled.
Reading the text, the young brunette's heart leapt into her throat. Before she could type out a reply, however, her phone chimed again.
Onika M.: I know you said you needed a little time to think, but I want you to know that I don't regret last night. I care about you and I want to explore what's happening between us.
Beyoncé closed her eyes, swallowing the lump in her throat, and took a deep, cleansing breath. Some of her fearful thoughts had been for naught, and knowing Onika wasn't running away from her after all calmed her a bit. But knowing that Onika wanted to continue being with her, even though her whole life could go down in flames...the young brunette wasn't sure her own heart could survive if the end result was anything other than the chance to be completely with Onika.
Staring at her phone, Beyoncé tried to think of a response. Everything she thought of felt like a lie, or at the very least, a half-truth. I hate that I missed you this morning, too. Except only half of me does. I enjoyed last night, too. Except now I'm not sure it was a good idea. I'm scared because I think I might be falling in love with you. Except saying that will make you run for the hills. I want to be with you again, too. But I already know that's a bad idea.
Onika M.: Beyoncé?
Onika M.: Are you ignoring me?
The brunette sighed heavily, closing her eyes briefly before typing out a reply.
I don't know what to say right now.
Ding.
Onika M.: Do you regret last night?
Beyoncé figured it was best to be honest.
I don't know. I'm really confused right now.
Suddenly Beyoncé's phone began to ring. She bit her lip and stared at the small screen, seeing Onika's name in big, bold font. Hesitantly she tapped the green answer button. "Onika." Her voice was quiet, nervous and unsure of what to expect.
"Beyoncé, hi," Onika breathed out. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you."
"Isn't that kinda dangerous in surgery?"
"During surgery has been the only exception. I am at least professional and experienced enough to compartmentalize during such important tasks, Beyoncé," Onika replied, her tone almost teasing. "But I've only had three surgeries today, in my defense."
"Oh."
Onika's voice dropped low. "I can't stop thinking about how you taste and how much I want to-"
"Onika, stop," Beyoncé interrupted, blushing profusely. "You said you would give me time to think."
"Have you not been thinking today?"
Silence.
"Does your silence imply that you have been, or that you haven't been?" Onika asked hesitantly.
The young brunette sighed heavily while she picked at a loose string on the hem of her sleep shorts. "I haven't been able to stop thinking."
The older woman was silent for a moment before she quietly asked, "And what exactly have you been thinking, Beyoncé?"
"A lot of things," Beyoncé replied with a shrug, despite only talking on the phone.
Onika urged, "Just tell me one example. Please?"
"I don't," Beyoncé began, exasperation beginning to creep into her voice. "Can we not do this over the phone?"
"Talking on the phone is our only option right now, Beyoncé," the older woman replied softly. "I fear," she paused briefly, "I fear that leaving you alone with your thoughts until I finish my rotation will result in you distancing yourself from me, both emotionally and physically."
"You're married, Onika," the brunette whispered painfully, "and I think maybe we shouldn't have-"
Quickly Onika interrupted, "I am fully aware of the possible consequences of my actions in regards to my marriage, and as I told you last night, I am prepared to deal with them, whatever they may be, when the time comes."
On the other end, Beyoncé was silent, unsure of what to say next.
"Until then, I want to be with you as much as possible," Onika continued, her voice dropping low again. "I want to feel you naked against me as much as possible."
Beyoncé closed her eyes as hot tears welled up, inhaling quickly before releasing a controlled breath. "Is that all I mean to you, Onika? Someone to have sex with?"
"I'm still uncertain of everything you mean to me, Beyoncé," the black haired woman responded softly. "Why do you think I'm so desperate to find out?"
******
🥱