***
[ T <•> I ]
I: do you honestly never get tired of all this ridiculous shit that happens among you people?
T: we won't be the Waynes if we got tired of this.
T: for us, it is normal.
I: you guys have the weirdest family ever.
T: appreciate the compliment.
***
T: I don't even remember when was the last time I actually had fun.
I: you wanna try out something fun tonight?
T: for instance?
I: meet me at the rooftop at ten and I'll show you.
***
T: when I had said fun, I hadn't meant throwing rotten eggs at the press.
I: but you can't deny that; it was absolutely hilarious.
T: I just hope no one saw us.
I: I know no one did.
I: I have been planning this for days. And it feels so fucking good to give the asshats the treats they rightfully deserve.
***
T: though where did you get such a lot of rotten eggs?
I: I have my sources.
T: what sources?
I: Red Hood.
T: excuse me? Red Hood?
I: yeah, Red Hood.
T: you've got to be kidding me.
I: of course not. He's excellent at smuggling any thing of any sort whatsoever. Just name it and give him fifteen minutes. Easy as that.
T: but you do know that's illegal, right?
I: nobody wanted those rotten eggs in the first place.
I: stealing something which will go to waste otherwise is not as horrible.
T: I'm sorry, Ren, but vandalism is still a crime.
I: vandalism? Holy fuck, Tim, are you high? Of course that's not vandalism or shop lifting or whatever new accusation you have up your sleeve.
I: next time do not accompany me if you have to give me a lecture on legal codes later, you understand!
T: hey, I hadn't meant it like that!
***
T: you're still angry at me...?
T: Ren?
T: I'm sorry, I...
***
I: I forgive you.
T: I nearly died and all you're saying is I forgive you?
I: stop being such a hopeless romantic, princess. You and me both know you liked it.
I: plus, no one dies from an unexpected kiss.
T: well...
T: don't you think getting a heart attack is a very obvious reason of dying too?
I: why would you have a heart attack?
T: because I was not expecting you to be there at that time.
I: you really have to start being at least a little more aware of your surroundings. That's exactly why you get abducted so often.
I: always keep your eyes and ears open, love.
I: you can't always be lucky enough to escape alive.
***
I: and if you wear that turtleneck again, I swear I will not save you the next time you're in trouble.
T: Ren, I can not go to work like this!
I: take the day off then.
T: so that I get fired? No thank you.
***
I: do you know why I had forbidden you from wearing the turtleneck?
T: because I look stupid in it?
I: no.
I: because now the press has even more reason to think that you're having a secret relationship.
T: fuck!
I: though if you hadn't worn the turtleneck, it would have been even more disastrous.
T: you would have found me dead in my bathtub then.
I: what the fuck, Tim?
I: are you okay?
T: yeah, yeah, nothing to worry about.
I: I swear if you even think about doing anything to hurt yourself...
T: calm down, Ren, I'm absolutely fine.
I: I am coming over right now.
T: why?
I: I don't trust you.
T: Ren!
T: I'm fine, I'm absolutely fine.
I: open the window or else I'll smash it.
T: sweet holy Jesus, Ren, I'm coming.
T: just don't smash the window!
***
T: I can't, I simply can't do this anymore!
I: what's up, princess?
T: Bruce asked me about you.
I: oh...
T: he says he wants to meet you.
I: no, shit.
T: exactly.
***
I: what will you do now?
T: I managed to distract Bruce by the event details and guest list of that Fall Gala.
I: are the Luthors invited?
T: yup.
T: though I'm pretty sure Lex Luthor won't turn up. But maybe his daughter would show up on his behalf.
I: and the press will be there. So you will have to stay at a considerate distance from her.
T: I know...
T: can I not just crawl into a hole and die?
I: don't you dare do that, Tim!
***
T: are you coming to the Fall Gala?
I: yes.
T: is there any chance for me to see you there?
I: nope.
I: I don't want the press on my toes again.
I: honestly speaking, they are even worse than Damian.
T: touche.
***
T: can you not whisk me away this once? Just like you promised on New Year's Eve?
I: look Tim, if we ditched the event together, we will only be giving them more to talk about.
T: why do they even exist?
I: calm down, it will be okay. Just focus on the event and trust me everything else will go perfectly.
***
I: so I was choosing dresses for the Fall Gala...
I: and I can't decide.
T: so shall I choose for you?
T: or shall I buy one for you? Trust me, that would be something to look forward to.
I: oh no, thanks a lot for the offer but I have to just choose the color.
I: red, green, blue or purple?
T: I have only ever seen you in black but I am sure you will look stunning in any other color.
***
T: though if I ever have to recommend you a color, it would be off white.
T: or cream. With golden embroidery.
I: looks like you have a specific dress in mind.
T: not really, it's up to you.
I: thanks for the help, Tim, I'll see about that.
***
I: why are you not on your seat?
T: sorry, I'm running late.
T: I sent my boss an email, I'll be back before lunch break.
I: where are you then?
T: in a meeting with the event planners.
***
T: red napkins or black?
I: cream.
T: done.
***
T: carnations or roses?
I: you know the answer very well.
T: carnations?
I: roses are the most common flowers ever so it would be great to go for something different.
I: add some morning glories as well and it would look beautiful.
T: sure.
***
I: did you submit your report?
T: sent it by email, why?
I: oh.
I: good.
***
T: you were right, the flower combo is excellent.
T: even Barbara loves it and trust me it's hard to make her approve of anything.
I: my pleasure, Timbelina.
***
I: can you sneak out for lunch break?
T: I'm sorry but not today.
T: I am stuck.
I: what happened?
T: so there's this whole thing of Lex Luthor coming up on an unexpected round and all the staff has to be there for that.
I: wait, since when? I didn't know about that!
T: and why should you know about that?
I: forget it.
I: focus on your work then and best of luck.
T: thanks. I would need that.
***
I: so the round has finished, I suppose?
I: Tim?
I: why the fuck are you not on your seat?
***
T: I got fired. By Lex Luthor.
I: but why?
T: I'm a Wayne, he's a Luthor. That's why.
I: but you don't work under him. So he can't fire you.
T: yes I don't. He has asked me to give in my resignation to Irina Luthor as soon as possible. Or else I'll have to suffer consequences.
I: he can't just threaten you like that!
T: it's okay, Ren, you don't have to get so angry on Luthor. What he's doing is sensible in his opinion and what I'm doing is sensible in mine.
I: what are you doing then?
T: typing out the resignation.
***