***
[ T <•> I ]
T: I love you.
I: yeah and you'll chicken out if I ask you to say it to my face.
T: try me.
I: meet you at the rooftop in five.
***
I: I love you too...
T: did you really say that!
I: ...just kidding, my lovely damsel in distress.
T: if distress could be a synonym for confusion, then maybe you're right this time.
***
T: this is definitely a date.
I: no it's not.
T: we're going to Starbucks. Together. How is this not a date?
I: because I forgot to bring you flowers.
T: too bad, I already bought some for you.
I: who the fuck gave you the right to be so adorable?
T: they are carnations, lovely and pink just like you wanted.
I: aw... Timmy, you're the sweetest person I've ever met.
T: I assure you, you're the only person who thinks that way about me.
I: because you're an intolerable jerk to all others?
T: fifty points to Ravenclaw.
***
I: but seriously, we hadn't been in there for a couple minutes and the press people came banging on the door.
T: they are extremely annoying, bunch of asshats who do not have any other job in the world except for stalking people.
I: and I can't believe it, they wanted us to give an interview...
I: like what the absolute hell...
T: I know right, they have literally no other job except for pestering the shit out of people.
***
T: I still don't know how Miss Luthor is taking it.
I: yeah right...
T: she comes very less to work.
I: because she doesn't want to get harassed by these nosy little asshats.
T: and I can't help but think that she will be blaming me for all this.
T: and the day she comes back to work, the first thing she will do is fire me.
I: oh no, she won't.
I: she would know it's not your fault at all.
T: I sincerely hope so.
***
I: seems like you really enjoy working at LexCorp, judging by your fear of getting fired.
T: I mean... Everyone here is nice. I like working under someone for a change instead of being in charge of everything myself.
I: but you're still running Wayne Tech, right?
T: yup. I attend the meetings and have been organizing the Fall Gala.
I: the one your brothers were mentioning?
T: exactly.
***
I: are you an alien from Krypton?
T: nope, that would be Superman and I'm clearly not a Kryptonian.
T: why do you ask though?
I: how can you manage both your CEO work in Wayne Tech and your job at LexCorp?
T: what can I say? I'm a multitasker and have a lot of practice in juggling too many tasks at the same time.
***
I: you know what, sometimes I get worried for your health.
T: why?
I: when was the last time you went to sleep, Tim?
T: ...
T: I don't know.
I: how the hell are you still alive?
T: because I have you to make sure of that.
***
T: so Irina Luthor came to work today.
I: are you fired yet?
T: no.
I: exactly.
I: I told you so.
T: sometimes it seems as if you personally know her well enough to be certain of what she will do and what she will not.
I: ...
T: you do know her, right?
I: nope, not at all.
T: why do I get the feeling that you're hiding something?
I: why do I get the feeling that you should just shut the fuck up?
***
I: hey...
I: I'm sorry for being rude earlier.
T: don't be.
T: it was my fault.
I: of course not, what the hell are you talking about?
T: I know very well that you get a little edgy whenever I mention Irina Luthor but still I keep doing that, being the absolute dunce that I am...
I: it's not like that.
I: and you're anything but a dunce.
***
I: well I know for a fact that you get edgy whenever I mention Red Robin but has that stopped me from doing that? No.
T: hey, wait a second.
T: I know exactly what the problem is with both of us.
I: enlighten me.
T: we are both jealous possessive bitches.
I: oh my God, Tim...
I: you're unreal.
T: it is true though, right?
I: maybe, maybe not.
***
[ Gotham's Freak Club ]
The Walking Dead: guess who got a new pet?
Timmy's Girlfriend: oh a cat, lovely!
Demon Spawn: have you named it yet?
The Walking Dead: no, like I said I just got it.
Timmy Toes: from where?
The Walking Dead: I have my sources which I would rather not share with you.
Demon Spawn: great, where are you now, Todd?
The Walking Dead: in my room.
The Walking Dead: why? Should I be worried?
Demon Spawn: just keep the little beauty with you, I'm coming over.
Timmy Toes: prepare for your pet's christening, Jay.
Timmy's Girlfriend: christening?
Timmy Toes: Damian loves to name animals. Well basically the only living things that he loves and tolerates are animals, be it deadly ones snakes, tigers, lions, or the cute ones like ducks, rabbits, cats and dogs.
Timmy's Girlfriend: that's really cute.
Flying Grayson: yeah by now the whole of Wayne manor has different species of animals running around. We have enough variety to open up our own zoo.
***
Flying Grayson: yo Tim, I committed an unforgivable crime.
Timmy Toes: not again, Dick...
The Walking Dead: where's the dead body?
Flying Grayson: holy shit, Jason, I did NOT kill anyone.
The Walking Dead: I'm out. Call me only when you do it.
Flying Grayson: I will NOT do it. Ever. It's against my moral code.
Timmy Toes: what did you do?
Flying Grayson: so I was coming back home after a late night shift and I don't know from where or how Gotham Daily's reporters turned up.
Demon Spawn: if this is about Drake and his girlfriend again, then I'm out too.
The Walking Dead: what happened then?
Timmy's Girlfriend: I don't like where this is going.
Timmy Toes: neither do I.
Flying Grayson: would you guys at least shut up and listen to me or are you willing to wait for tomorrow morning's paper to get published?
Timmy Toes: then get the fuck over with it. What did you do?
Flying Grayson: they asked me about you guys and I may have let it slip.
Timmy's Girlfriend: ...
Timmy's Girlfriend: are you that dumb, Richard?
Flying Grayson: hey, that was offensive!
Timmy Toes: and you giving the press enough reason to wag their tails at us even more wasn't?
Timmy Toes: go to hell, Dick, just go to hell.
Flying Grayson: I am sorry about that, you don't have to be so hostile, Timmy!
Timmy's Girlfriend: but he is right, Richard, you could have avoided them.
Flying Grayson: are you angry at me too?
Timmy's Girlfriend: not exactly...
Flying Grayson: thank goodness! At least someone here has enough common sense to see reason.
Timmy's Girlfriend: but now the press people would annoy me on my missions and that is totally awful.
Timmy's Girlfriend: I mean I hadn't yet fully gotten over that Red Robin spying on me all the time and now there's a trail of nosy press reporters on my watch as well.
Flying Grayson: and judging by what you said, you do not like Red Robin.
Timmy Toes: she hates him.
Demon Spawn: ah, finally, so she's not as dumb as what I gave her credit for.
Timmy's Girlfriend: you do know I'm right here, Damian?
Demon Spawn: exactly. And you have gained a little respect from me.
Timmy's Girlfriend: is that a good thing or bad?
Demon Spawn: the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So as long as you hate Red Robin, we're cool.
Timmy Toes: but she doesn't hate me, you know that right?
Demon Spawn: now we are a fifty fifty.
Timmy's Girlfriend: I don't have anything personal against Red Robin. I just don't like all of the Bats.
Demon Spawn: forget it, you have no respect from me. As always.
The Walking Dead: all of them?
Timmy's Girlfriend: well, except for Red Hood.
Flying Grayson: you do know he's a crime lord, right?
The Walking Dead: but you can't deny that he's awesome. In fact it was because of Red Hood that I got to meet our lovely Ren.
Flying Grayson: really?
Timmy Toes: most unfortunately.
Flying Grayson: Jay, can I talk to you for a moment, in person?
Flying Grayson and The Walking Dead have left the chat.
Timmy's Girlfriend: what happened to these two?
Demon Spawn: don't worry, they have probably gone off to wreak havoc somewhere.
Timmy's Girlfriend: and that's nothing to worry about?
Timmy Toes: don't mind them, Ren, its their daily routine. They will sort things out soon.
***