||𝐋𝐞𝐱𝐢 𝐊𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐚 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬||❤.
"Sheed come on before I'm late!"
"You can't rush a pimp bae I keep telling you that!" He huffed as he walked out the bathroom and sat on the bed to put his shoes on.
"You ain't no damn pimp." I smacked my lips and zipped up my jacket.
"Shhh!" He put his finger to his lips. "You said that too loud, ion need everybody knowing the truth."
"Just come on." I sighed. "Make sure you packed everything cause we not coming back here after my appointment. Ion need us missing that flight."
"Yes mom." He groaned and stood up, grabbing his jacket.
swear i can't stand him .
"You got the edibles?"
"Boy I ain't smuggling no edibles out the state!" I grabbed a suitcase, looking at him crazy. "You tryna get me locked up?"
"Man, it was just a question you ain't gotta get all loud."
"At this point I'm convinced you want me in jail." I sighed and grabbed another suitcase before getting my keys off the nightstand.
"If you go it ain't gon be hard for you." He made a face. "You manly enough to find a girl in there."
"Keep it up and I'ma end up pushing you down these stairs."
We walked downstairs and turned off all the lights in the house before heading for the door.
"Alright Big Burtha." He mumbled.
"Sheed stop!" I laughed, locking the door behind us. "Bae if I go to jail, you gon hold me down?"
"Hell nah, I'm just gon find me a new girlfriend named Lexi." He shrugged and I popped the trunk before throwing my keys as hard as I could at the back of his head.
"Stupid ass bitch come fight me!" I dropped my suitcases and ran up on him, punching him all in his back. "A new bitch could never!"
"Damn! See you too violent bae I was just playing." He laughed as he turned around and grabbed my hands.
"No don't talk to me." I smacked my lips, snatching away from him and picking up my suitcases before putting them in the trunk and closing it. "I hope we leave yo ass in Maui too."
"No you don't so calm down mad ass." We got in the car and I started it before looking over at him and mugging him.
"You so.. ugh bro!" I huffed. "You irritate my soul witcho fine, tall, ugly dumb ass! Gimmie kiss!" I leaned grabbed his face and pecked him repeatedly.
"You irritate mine too witcho fat head, fine, bald headed, short ass!"
"We dumb yo." I laughed and kissed him one more time before pulling off and heading to the doctor for my check up.
———————
"Lexi Jones."
Once we heard my name, we got up from our seats in the waiting room and followed the doctor to a room in the back.
"Hello, how are you guys today?" She smiled at us as Sheed sat in a chair and she motioned for me to sit on the bed.
"We're fine, and you?"
"I'm great." She sat her clipboard down. "How are you feeling today?" She reached behind me and grabbed the otoscope from behind me on the wall.
"I feel great but lately I been having strong headaches at the most random times." I got the chills as she stuck the otoscope in my left ear and looked inside before switching to the right one.
"Like migraines or aching?" She put the otoscope away and pulled out the stethoscope.
"Both."
"I see." She listened to my heartbeat before putting it away. "Any vomitting or nausea of any kind?"
"No, just the headaches."
"And how long has this been going on?"
"It started like two months ago and since then I've been taking Advil and stuff to make them go away."
"Alright." She walked over to her clipboard and jotted something down before grabbing a cup off the shelf. "Just go ahead and pee in this for me so we can make sure you're completely healthy."
"Okay."
"Yeah go pee in that cup bae." Sheed cheered while cheesing.
"Boy hush." I got down from the bed and took the cup from her, making my way to the bathroom and doing what I had to do.
"Here you go." I handed the cup back to my doctor before taking my seat back on the bed.
"Thank you, I'll be right back." She smiled at me and walked out the room.
"Bae."
"What Sheed?"
"Hold on cause why you acting like you irritated?" He scrunched his face up. "Like I'm irritating you or some?"
"Boy just tell me what you want." I huffed.
"No cause you ain't acting right, you want some dick bae? you need a tune up?" He made a face. "The doctor gon be gone for a minute and you already sitting on the bed. "
"Don't nobody need a tune up." I smacked my lips. "Just tell me what you was finna say."
"Ask nicely."
"Boy fuck you."
"See this what I'm talking bout." He stood up. "I'm convinced you need a tune up so come on, pull dem pants down."
"Sheed move!" I laughed and pushed him away from me.
"Then stop acting pissy!" He laughed and sat back down. "I'm still waiting for you to ask me nicely just in case you was wondering."
"Sheed Armani Coleman, may you please tell me what you wanted when you called my name?"
"Yes ma'am, yes I may." He adjusted himself in his seat and I sighed.
he so extra dawg .
"I was finna ask you what she testing yo pee for?"
"To see if I got an STD or HIV or some." I said in a duh tone.
"Don't say it like I'm stupid." He smacked his lips. "And you betta not have no HIV cause that shit can kill you and ion wanna die young like Roddy Ricch said."
"I ain't gon have shit boy just be quiet 'til she come back cause at this point you insulting me."
"You swear you run some shit but it's okay though, just wait 'til we leave."
"Okay Sheed." I sighed.
"Bae?"
"Yes?"
"Can I impregnate you in this room?" He did a pouty face.
"Boy what?" I laughed.
"Come on, I always wanted to fuck in one of these rooms." He stood up and walked over to me on the bed. "Fat pa said he want fat ma."
"Tell fat pa I said he gon have to wait."
"Come on baeeee leh fuck, leh a lil secs!"
"Sheed get out my face dawg." I laughed as he stood in front of me, getting between my legs and wrapping his arms around my waist.
"No, let me drop my kids off at the water park." He poked his bottom lip out. "They said they ready to play."
"Bae move." I laughed and pushed him away from me, hearing the doctor softly knock on the door.
"I'm fucking the shit outta you in the bathroom on the plane." He went back to his seat as the doctor entered the room and I shook my head.
w i l d .
"Well Ms.Lexi." She smiled and took a glance at her clipboard. "I've figured out why you've been having strong headaches and migraines."
"Why?" I looked over at Sheed and he smirked.
"You're two months pregnant." She cheesed and Sheed did a little dance in his seat while I eyed him. "Congratulations."
what the hell ?
"Pregnant?" I scrunched my face up. "I think I was artificially inseminated like my good sis Jane The Virgin was cause ain't no way in hell I'm pregnant forreal forreal."
"Would you like to see the results?"
"Yessir we would!" Sheed hopped up out his seat and looked at the clipboard and I did too.
"Here." The doctor pointed to the paper and showed us that my test for STD and HIV came back negative but my test for pregnancy came back positive.
well i'll be damned .
————————
|| 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐦𝐢𝐫 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧|| ❤.
"Merch yo lil sperm worked."
"Hell yeah." Sheed cheesed in the camera. "Don't tell nobody else yet cause ion know if she ready to tell everybody and ion want my ass beat again today." He whispered.
"Aight foo." I laughed and picked Jaydyn up from the bed. "Where y'all at?"
"We on our way to the airport right now. Y'all still ain't left yet?"
"Hell nah, Janaee downstairs finishing up somebody nails then we gon be on our way."
"Aight, we might be the first ones there cause ion think Teezy nem at the airport yet either."
"Damn man, I hope we don't miss this flight."
"Me too."
"Sheed didn't I tell yo punk ass to raise yo window up?" Lexi snapped. "You never fucking listen."
"Alright damn my bad baby moma." He raised his window and I saw her hand reach over and hit him in the face a few times and his AirPod fell out his ear.
"Stop fucking trying me!"
"Pay attention to the road bruh before we crash! And you just scratched my nose with them long ass nails!" He picked his AirPod up. "Knocking shit out my head and shit."
"I'ma do it again too, keep playing." She huffed. "You shot my shit up on purpose ole punk ass!"
"Umm." I raised my hand in the camera. "Sheed I'm still on the phone."
"Girl fuck you, I told you that you was next after Janaee! You ain't wanna listen dumb ass."
"Shut the fuck up, just stop talking." She sighed.
"I'm still on the phoneee." I spoke up but they Sheed only ignored me.
"Girl fuck you and yo attitude." The car came to a stop and he looked over at her. "Gimmie kiss."
"No fuck you."
"Aight bet." He looked out the window.
"No I'm just playing bae, gimmie kiss." She leaned over and they started kissing so I hung the fuck up.
t o x i c .
"Come on Mini Homicide, we gotta see if mommy ready for Maui."
I turned off the TV and the game before grabbing his binky and heading downstairs.
"Go ahead, knock on the door Homicide." I lifted his hand up and put it against the door, knocking on it.
"Yes bae?" Janaee answered and I cracked the door opened, trying not to let the strong acrylic fumes out. "Boy get my baby away from the door! He don't need to smell this shit!"
"Girl fuck you, we tryna see if you done yet."
"Yes Cameron, I'm putting the top coat on now give me like 5 minutes."
"Alright damn, Jaydyn tell ya moma we on a schedule."
"Shut up and go change him before we leave." I felt his diaper and realized he needed to be changed.
"Pissy ass, I just changed you." I closed the door. "Come on sonny boy, you ain't gon get no girlfriend if you pissy."
I headed over to the couch and laid him down before reaching in his diaper bag and taking out a pamper and the pack of wipes.
I took his pants off and lifted his shirt off before unstrapping his pamper, taking it off.
"Oooh you getting fat Mini Homicide, finna be smuggling drugs in ya rolls."
He started fussing a little so I put his binky in his mouth and finished changing him, putting his clothes back on and throwing the dirty diaper away.
"Yo bald headed ass moma needa hurry up, it's been 5 minutes already." I mumbled and picked him up off the couch before taking a seat.
He started making noises, so I kept talking to him.
"Yeah I know man, she always late." I said and he got louder.
"Forreal, like girl it ain't that hard to be on time." I paused. "Just get yo shit together in advance." He took his binky out his mouth and started yelling gibberish.
"I know! Bruh, it was like this before you was born too." I shook my head. "I'm surprised she had you on time."
Janaee and her client walked out the room and she escorted her to the door before collecting her money.
"See you later, have a good day."
"You too, thanks again these fye."
"No problem." Janaee smiled and closed the door before walking over to us on the couch. "Why was my baby yelling?"
"He was cussing you out ma."
"Now stink, why he lying?" She grabbed him out my arms. "Say I would never do that to mommy."
He started yelling at her and hitting her in the face with his binky.
"Jaydyn! You got slob on yo hands!" She laughed and I took him back from her while she wiped her face.
"I told you." I laughed. "He said come on cause he don't wanna be late."
"Y'all mad annoying already." She laughed. "Come on so we can get this luggage and go."
——————
||𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐀𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐬|| 𝐓𝐞𝐞𝐳𝐲❤.
"Can't do shit for black people." I mumbled and checked the time on my Apple Watch. "Everybody and they moma late."
"It's okay bae, our flight don't leave for another 30 minutes."
"I'll be back." I stood up from my chair at the airport but Kennedy stopped me.
"Where you finna go?"
"To the desk."
"For what?"
"I'm finna bribe them so they can move our flight up and leave everybody else to teach them a lesson about being on time."
"Bo—just sit down." She pulled my arm down and I slumped down in my chair. "Look, there go Lexi and Sheed now."
"Hey ya—"
"Fuck you and yo hey." I mugged her. "Where y'all been and where my bestie?"
"Don't get cussed out Teezy." Lexi smacked her lips and took a seat next to me.
"I just got off the phone with Killa a little while ago, they should almost be here by now." Sheed said, sitting on the other side of Lexi while she stared off into space like she had alot on her mind.
"They better have my Teddy grahams head ass godson in some nice clothing too."
"Not too much on my nephew cause his head ain't shaped like no Teddy graham."
"Why you just lie like that?" I scrunched my face up. "You know his head shaped just like one, body and all."
"Teezy shut up bruh." Sheed laughed.
"Look, there they go." Kennedy pointed them out as they headed over to us, rolling the luggage they had and carrying Jaydyn.
"Bout time, goddamn."
"Hey best." Janaee sat Jaydyn's carseat in an available chair and hugged me while Killa said wassup to us. "Y'all ready to be ghetto in Maui?"
"Don't hey best me." I mugged her and stood up, taking Jaydyn out his carseat and holding him. "Tell me why yo fat head ass late."
"I'm tired of y'all saying my head big." She huffed and patted her head.
"We was late cause of her, as usual."
"I had a client and I also had enough time cause obvioulsy the plane ain't leave us yet." She rolled her eyes.
"Caucasian godson, is she lying?" I looked at Jaydyn as he cooed and waved his arms around.
"He said no and he want his auntie." Lexi reached for him and he leaned forward, indicating he wanted her.
"Aight, I see how it is Jaydyn." I smacked my lips. "That's why you ghetto just like yo parents now."
"Not too much on my boyfriend." Kennedy butted in. "Him said he classy, he don't do allat ghetto stuff."
"And don't." Janaee did the period motion with her hand.
"Fuck what y'all saying." I waved them off. "Where my friend Tyler and Chief and nem at? She gon fuck around and get left again."
"Lexi put Jaydyn back in his carseat, our flight time almost here." Janaee said and Lexi stood up, strapping Jaydyn back in his carseat.
"Bae."
"Yes pookie."
"I gotta go to the bathroom."
"Then go to the bathroom." Janaee eyed Killa strangely.
"But I need you to come with me."
"Cameron you don't need help pissing, go before they call our flight."
"Let me rephrase that." He sighed. "I want you to come with me." Killa smirked at her.
"Boy gone." She laughed, waving him off.
"Girl Sheed tried the same thing with me earlier at the doctors office."
"Sick asses." I laughed. "Brother like brother."
"Shit, y'all heard that?" Sheed stood up and we looked at him.
"Heard what?"
"They just called our flight number dumb asses, let's go!" We started grabbing our luggage and checking our area, making sure we had everything.
"Friend! Wait!" I looked back and saw Tyler, Chief, and Slim running as fast as they could, ducking and dodging people all while dragging their suitcases.
"Bring y'all black asses on!" I motioned for them to hurry up. "Black folks never on time."
——————
||𝐉𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐞𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬|| 𝐒𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧 ❤.
"Howdy howdy, I'm Janaee and I'm in Maui."
"Spend it, spend it, I get da bag then I flip it."
"Ayeee period best." I hyped Teezy up as we walked in our hotel.
"Dude said howdy like we in the country or some." Tyler laughed.
"You know she be wearing them steel toe boots like that's where she from." Slim mumbled and Chief laughed.
"Leave my girl alone." Cameron laughed.
"Come on y'all so we can get our room keys and start unpacking."
We walked to the front desk and told them our information, before recieving our room keys and our room numbers.
"Aight y'all go unpack and rest up, we doing some all day tomorrow and ion wanna hear nothing bout nobody being tired." Teezy said as we all made our way down the hallway, finding our rooms.
"Okay dad." Lexi said sarcastically as I unlocked me and Camerons room and opened the door.
"Alright y'all, behave." I walked in and sat Jaydyn's carseat on the bed while Cameron rolled our luggage in behind us and closed the door.
"He sleep?"
"Yeah, I knew he was gon be sleep when we got here cause he was woke whole time on the plane." I unbuckled the straps in his carseat and carefully took him out, trying not to wake him before laying him on the bed.
"I know, I seen him mean mugging them other babies and shit." Cameron laughed and sat the suitcases on the other bed so we can start unpacking.
"He get that shit from you."
"No he don't." He smacked his lips. "That's the one thing he get from you ma."
"I don't mean mug people so that's all you pookie."
"I don't either." He said and I started dying laughing.
"Umm sir." I made a face. "Do you not remember how we met? I sat next to you on the couch and you literally mean mugged the fuck outta me for no reason."
"Okay but you mean mugged me after I ate yo gummy bears."
"Duhh cause I wanted them!" I huffed. "You used to embarass me bro." He smacked his lips.
"How I embarrass you Janaee?"
"Cause that time at Taraji kickback, I was on the wall twerking an—"
"And I snatched yo ass right off that wall and took you to go get some to eat." He paused. "Fat ass."
"That was the night you kidnapped me and I spent the night at yo house for the first time." I smiled.
"And that was the night Victorious became our show." He smiled back. "It's crazy how all this happened all because you walked in Teezy house that one day."
"I know but the crazy part is, when we pulled up, I wasn't even finna get out the car at first. Lexi had to make me."
"That shit crazy bruh, this happened all cause of lil Lexi." He shook his head. "I'm happy she made you get out the car that day ma."
"Me too pookie." I smiled and pecked him on the lips.
"Hold up, I'm finna use the bathroom then help you unpack."
"Alright."
He headed for the bathroom and I walked over to one of the suitcases and unzipped it. Opening the suitcase, the first thing I saw was a beautiful big white dress in plastic covering.
i know not !
"Pookie?" I said loudly, but not loud enough to wake Jaydyn as I heard Cameron flush the toilet and wash his hands before exiting the bathroom.
"Yeah ma?"
"What's this?" I carefully took the dress out the bag and held it up.
"Goddammit." He mumbled. "You wasn't supposed to see that until tomorrow."
"This mine?"
"Duuhh, who else I'ma marry?" He walked over to me. "You like it? Lexi and Kennedy helped me pick it out."
"Yess pookie, I love it!" I squealed.
"Check to see if it's yo size." I looked inside the back of the dress and checked the tag, seeing a size that would fit me damn near perfectly.
"It is." I beamed and he took it from me and laid it on the bed. "Wait, so we getting married tomorrow?"
"Yes ma'am, bright and early too so no secs tonight cause you like to go rounds ain't we ain't got time for that."
"I can't believe this baby." I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips. "I can't wait to be yo wife. Call me Mrs.Coleman."
"I can't wait to be yo husband." He pressed his forehead against mine. "That sound sexy as hell ma, I can't wait for my last name to officially be yours."
"I can't either." I smiled. "I love you Cameron, Always and forever."
"I love you too Janaee." He kissed me. "But this ain't always and forever ma, I told you this is for eternity. We finna T up and spend the rest of our lives together in Holy Matrimony."
* not proofread , ignore any mistakes *
yall piss me off but i still wanna thank yall for getting this book as far as yall did . 💛
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this shit is crazy bruh forreal , i appreciate all of yall , even the ghost readers . 💙