***
[ T <•> J ]
J: someone looked like a hot mess last night.
T: shut up.
J: who was it?
T: none of your business.
J: you're lucky I didn't tell Dick or Damian, for that instance.
T: I don't know why you've decided to be so generous, but please Jay, keep doing that.
J: I won't say a word if you just tell me who was it.
T: I don't remember.
J: you what?
T: I told you, I was drunk. I don't remember.
J: such a shame.
J: what if you meet that person and she remembers it? Wouldn't it be awkward?
T: still less awkward than Dick asking for details and Damian threatening to kill me.
J: touche.
***
T: thanks for the turtleneck.
J: I went to the store today and brought you a few more. There are about two shirts and three high collared jackets.
J: because I'm sure the hickeys aren't going to fade so soon.
T: well... That wasn't really necessary but thanks anyway.
J: when are you going to ask her out?
T: Jay!
***
J: so I've got a theory.
T: why do I get this feeling that I'd be better off not knowing it?
J: ridiculous.
J: of course you should know it.
T: fine then, enlighten me.
J: I think you're romantically involved with that new vigilante in town.
T: ...
J: there was no need to spit out coffee, you dramatic loner.
T: this is still a theory.
J: you bet I'm on your tail to prove it.
J: just wait and watch.
J: I'll find the proofs.
T: best of luck because you're in for a wild goose chase.
J: so it was her on the rooftop at New Year's Eve, right?
J: Tim!
J: I'll find the answers, you know I will.
***
T: Jason, if I see you with a camera anywhere near me, I swear I'll choke you to death.
J: you're welcome to try it, bitch!
***
T: she's not her, you idiot, she's my boss.
T: and now she's probably thinking goodness knows what about me. I'm so fucking embarrassed right now.
T: you ruined everything, Jay, now I'll get fired!
J: why would you even care so much? You're Wayne Tech's associate CEO. Why would any other job matter to you?
J: unless you really want to keep working at LexCorp with your lovely boss.
T: Jason, this is unacceptable.
J: who are you to tell me what's acceptable and what is not?
J: but really though, she's not the one I thought?
T: no.
J: good, I'll ask her out then.
T: Jason, no!
J: don't tell me you're playing with both of them.
T: I am not playing with either of them! But you're still not going to ask my boss out.
J: possessive much?
T: shut up.
***
[ T <•> I ]
I: looks like Red Robin has finally accepted defeat and left me alone.
T: why do you think that?
I: I haven't seen him in a week and he never turns up to screw shit up for me. So far, so good.
T: and you're glad about that?
I: I'm relieved.
T: have you never thought that he could have died?
I: um... No.
T: like he fights off evil everyday, what if it really got to him this time? What if he's no more?
T: what if he got blasted by the Joker? Fell into a black hole on an outer space mission? Strangled to death by the Riddler? Kissed by Poison Ivy?
I: screw you, Tim, you're making me feel worried about that douchebag.
T: the douchebag who could be on his way to heaven right now.
I: shut up. He would have a special place reserved for him in hell.
T: and that place is called the throne, sweetheart.
T: the next morning's paper would have a front page story of his tragic death.
I: I said shut up.
T: and his funeral would be held in the evening service at St George's church.
I: fuck it, I'm going to find the Bats. And if any of your assumption is true, and Red Robin really has died, then you'll be responsible for the consequences.
T: that's my girl. I knew there was something up between you two. 😏
I: you know what, on second thoughts, fuck Red Robin. I should prepare a eulogy. Meet you at the funeral if it does happen. And the champagne's on me.
T: I am disappointed.
I: when are you not? Though now you're officially a damsel in disappointment.
***
T: what do you do in your spare time?
I: that's for me to know and you to dot dot dot.
T: no seriously, I'm curious.
I: I sleep because I'm nocturnal.
T: I just thought of a new name for you. Well, three new names actually.
I: not again. You're horrible at names.
T: Nocturne, or Nocturno or even Nocturna.
I: I appreciate the effort but no thanks would suffice.
T: so am I supposed to call you NoThanks from now on?
I: I still can't believe that people think you're a genius.
T: and I still can't believe that you're an anonymous vigilante. How can you be a vigilante yet not think of a cool name to go as your alias?
***
I: who's that fine as hell dude you were hanging out with today?
T: are you secretly stalking me?
I: not at all, I just happened to see you at Robinson square.
T: that's my brother, Richard. But why are you asking? Should I be worried? Is he going to die?
I: nope. Just thinking that he's a clear proof you're adopted.
T: hey, what was that supposed to mean?
I: go and read the third, fourth and fifth words from the first question I asked you in this chat.
T: fine as hell?
T: oh...
T: too bad, he's taken.
I: aw man.
T: swiper no swiping.
I: you messed up the order.
T: but the message got to you, fair and square, so that's all that matters.
I: do you have any other hot brother who's not taken yet?
T: I have two but one of them is undead and the other is Satan's grandson. So if I set you up with either one of them, you would probably die the next day or kill me if you somehow survived.
T: also one of them is not even hot, he's just a huge brat.
I: and I believe you are talking about Damian. Regardless though, he has the prettiest green eyes I've ever seen.
T: on a completely unrelated note, he's underage so don't even think about it.
I: the fuck's wrong with you? I'm not a creepy pedophile, you idiot.
***
I: your whole family has awesome genes...
T: appreciate the compliment.
I: ...except for you.
T: ouch, that hurt.
***