***
[ T <•> J ]
J: the gremlin has been looking for you.
T: shit.
T: don't tell him where I am, please.
J: sure bud.
J: I sent him the location instead.
T: what the fuck, Jason?
J: you're welcome.
J: this is what you get for not saving coffee for me at breakfast.
T: I had said I was sorry!
T: there was no need to set the gremlin on me.
T: shit, he's outside.
J: enjoy the brotherly bonding, kiddo.
T: I hate you.
J: the feeling is mutual.
***
J: either you're changing out of that shirt or I'm gonna have to do something.
T: why? I like this shirt.
J: has anyone ever told you that even a grandma would have better style sense than you.
J: you're an absolute dunce when it comes to fashion.
T: you're no fashion god either so...
J: say that to my Instagram followers, bitch!
J: I'm giving you five minutes. If you haven't changed by then, I'll rip it off.
T: no... Don't you dare...
J: yeah right, go cower behind Dickybird. He won't be able to save you either.
***
T: that was a hundred and fifty, Todd.
J: a hundred ad fifty what? Dollars or push ups?
T: squats.
J: pay up.
***
T: why the fuck did you blow up the Bowery?
J: that's for me to know and you to stay the fuck out of.
T: Jay, if Bruce finds out...
J: who's gonna tell him anyway? You? I don't think so. You're not that stupid to die so young.
T: he has other resources too, y'know.
J: for example?
T: Damian.
J: fuck.
J: do you know where the little demon is? I might have to lock him up for a while.
T: gladly. He's on his way to the Bat Cave so you have exactly five minutes to abduct him.
J: on it.
***
[ T <•> I ]
T: I still don't know why I'm texting you.
I: just admit it, Timbelina, you've grown attached to me.
T: no way.
I: yes way.
***
T: okay so I know why I text you and keep talking to you.
I: because you're in love with me?
T: no.
T: because you don't treat me like others do.
I: yeah, I treat you like a piece of garbage and that's what makes you want to talk to me.
T: it's refreshing.
I: being treated as garbage? Are you okay?
T: trust me, when one has been living under the spotlight for so long, becoming garbage is highly tempting.
I: oh right, I forgot I was talking to a lost case again.
***
I: do you listen to music?
T: yup.
I: what genre?
T: goth rock.
I: like Evanescence goth rock?
T: it's phenomenal.
I: and a tad bit suicidal.
T: not at all, Ren, you're missing out on life if you haven't yet heard Evanescence.
I: oh I have, actually.
T: really?
I: give me the first verse and I'll name the song. If I get all of them right, you'll meet me at the rooftop tomorrow.
T: aw come on, you don't have to win a competition to see me. You can simply ask. Whenever you want, I'll be there.
I: are you going to give me any lyrics or not?
T: Don't cry to me, if you loved me.
I: Call me when you're sober.
T: noted.
I: hey, that's the name of the song.
T: yeah, that too.
***
T: stop, I get it. You know every Evanescence song. Just stop making me Google the lyrics.
I: you lose.
I: besides I didn't ask you to keep this up for so long. By now, I've been googling the results as well.
T: what! That's cheating.
I: I don't always play fair, Timmy boy. And neither do you.
***
T: what kind of music do you listen to?
I: Halsey.
I: Demi Lovato.
I: Imagine Dragons.
I: my playlist is never ending.
T: and irrespective of genre, I suppose.
I: yup, I'm versatile.
***
I: I fucking hate Batman.
I: and his stupid little costumed freak club.
I: I wish they would all disappear some day and leave me be.
T: there's no need to get so bitter now.
I: the only one I can tolerate out of them is Red Hood.
T: ...
T: not a really preferable choice but okay.
I: the others are so stuck up. Don't kill, don't hurt, don't do anything so that justice prevails.
T: what happened?
I: I was helping a girl who would have been kidnapped otherwise.
T: that wasn't just some girl, Ren. That was Harley Quinn and saving her would only get you in trouble.
I: how can you know it was Harley Quinn and not Poison Ivy?
T: because you've been on the news for an hour now.
I: what!
I: I hate the press.
I: nosy little no gooders.
T: as much as I would like to second that, I have a meeting in a couple minutes.
I: oh.
I: best of luck.
***
I: so tonight the Bats thought it would be fun to send Red Robin to spy on me.
T: poor bloke.
I: exactly. I left him hanging upside down from a hundred foot building.
I: plus he was tied up so he wouldn't have gotten down any sooner.
T: go check, I think he would have.
I: ...
I: shit, he's not there.
T: told you. The Bats are unpredictable.
I: and you happen to know a lot about them...
T: what can I say? I've lived in Gotham more than you.
I: hey, you don't know that!
T: honey, I know you're new to Gotham. No need to pretend.
I: shut your pretty mouth up or I'll tie you upside down for a change.
T: but you are new to Gotham, right? Because no one else would mistake Arkham Asylum for a haunted house made for commercial entertainment.
I: I said shut up.
T: my lips are sealed.
***
T: so I had a very weird dream last night...
I: enlighten me.
T: well, I was up on the rooftop as usual and felt that it would make a great slide. But just as I tried to see if I was right or not, you caught me halfway down as usual and yelled that it was the seventh time this week.
I: that wasn't a dream, dumbass. You really did slide down the roof of Wayne Tower. And the most surprising part was that you yelled YOLO before doing so.
T: so it wasn't a dream?
I: no, my ears are still ringing with that high pitched scream you uttered seconds after.
T: and did we really kiss before you put me down? And I mumbled I hate you in French instead of I love you?
I: ...
T: je te déteste, je t'aime, mon amour?
I: no?
T: so that was a dream. Told you it was weird.
***