I made it to Manhattan in exactly 30 minutes and parked inside of the building's underground garage before entering my apartment through the back door. Jay was a stickler about being on time, so I wasn't surprised to hear heavy knocking at the door when I came inside. I took deep breathes along with my strides and, in a way, prepped myself to put on the persona of mine only Jay knew of .. a single, 30-some female with a great paying job looking for a man to match her fly, with no kids attached.
With the sound of the locks turning, his knocking stopped. I pulled the door open with ease and smiled a cheeky smile once I saw him on the other side. Once he stepped forward, our lips met for a deep kiss; "Hi my love .." I mumbled in the nape of his neck once our kiss was complete. Lovingly, our arms wrapped around one another and we swayed slightly, enjoying the moment. His affection was definitely something that attracted me to him immediately and with me not getting any at home, Jay became my new drug of choice.
How we met went something similar to your average love story .. I was minding my business at this new bar named Blu with Blake in tow when he spotted me from across the room. I ignored his glances and continued to focus on my own shitty life and marriage with Idris. When one drink slowly turned into three, he made his way over me and began spitting game about how beautiful I looked and if we could hang out sometime. I was feeling really bold and dug deep within the depths of my subconscious and said "yes, I'd love to."
Our date took place the following night and to my surprise we meshed so well, it was a bit scary; where had he been all my life?
"It's so good to see you ma .., I thought I was going to be spending my night all alone." He spoke once we separated and made our way toward the kitchen.
"So did I. I'm really glad you called."
Before replying, he placed plastic containers of food on the counter then stood behind me to play with the seam of my pants; "I'm really glad you answered. It feels like lately we haven't been spending as much time together than we usually do. I guess that's what I'll have to deal with when dating one of New York's bests surgeon's."
I stayed silent in thought as he placed a round of light pecks on the border of my collarbone. Although work was my main excuse for him, you & I both know the real reason I wasn't around. I admit it is hard to balance this double life that I'm living and honestly I don't even know how to bring both worlds into one, but I do know that my state of euphoria will have to come to end very soon.
"You good?" Jay voiced
"Yeah just, don't think I can stand on my feet any longer." Did I mention that my lifestyle of choice was also extremely exhausting? Mess.
I undid his arms from around my waist then took a seat at the counter. "So what's apart of this dinner you've planned?"
He shrugged lightly, "A few dishes from the best Jamaican spot over in Queens. I know you aren't that fond of spicy shit, so I didn't get anything with too much kick." Out of boredom, we shared another kiss before he began separating the various platters. I moaned as the aroma of Caribbean spices filled my nostrils and I allowed my mouth to water as he made our individual plates.
"How was your day?" I asked after we spent time in eating silence.
"It was chill. After I dropped you off I ran a few errands, nothing major though." He spoke nonchalantly. If you were wondering what he did for a living, I wish I could tell you. I wouldn't jump the gun and say that his source of income was drug related, but, let's be honest .. Jay wasn't too much of a corporate America man but he sure made corporate America salary, if not more! In our time together I have tried to find out small tidbits about it, but he kept a tight seal on that portion of his life; hell, we both had things to hide.
"I was wondering if you would be interested in us taking a small weekend getaway?" I choked on my glass of white wine mid gulp at his question. Immediately, he sent a few hard pats to my back and I finally caught my breath, "A what?!" I anxiously questioned.
Jay looked at me in confusion, "A lil' vacation. That doesn't sound appeasing to you?"
"It-it does, it's just, us on vacation?" I spoke in a low tone.
"Hear me out, I know both of our schedules are crazy but that's the point. We just spoke about only seeing each other when we need other and frankly, I want to move forward in our relationship. Maybe this vacation can start that process for us, you get what I'm sayin?"
Prior to now, Jay and I had never placed a solid label on our connection, but we knew that in some form we were committed to each other. I, however was the main partner who held back for other reasons. And frankly, I am scared to death to discover how my life would be if I were to end my marriage and commit solely to Jay when we are just beginning to water our foundation. Either direction I go I know is bound to be messy, but hey.. I made this bed and will eventually have to lay in it.
"I do. How about you tell me the weekend you have in mind and I'll let you know if it'll work for me?" My statement caused Jay to showcase a big smile.
"Deal."
We continued our dinner making small conversation and I washed our dirty dishes once we were finished. Next, we indulged in some ice cream and more wine until we found ourselves love making on the kitchen counter. As I rode him at a slow pace, his hands gripped my hips while I mounted my hands on his chest; I swear our sex didn't have to be this amazing.
"Shit, I'm cumming!" I moaned aloud. Jay then quickened his pace and in no time we were groaning in ecstasy. We stayed put a minute or two longer before he pulled out and disposed of his dirty condom. When he returned, I pulled him in for a long kiss.
"I wasn't suppose to be falling this hard for you Beyoncé .." Jay muttered as our faces stood inches apart. I gave a devilish smirk in response and he bursted into a fit a laughter. I admit that I didn't expect myself to fall so hard for him either but the heart wants what it want ... I just wish this happened under better pretenses.
Since he couldn't stay the rest of night, we made out until his departure and once he was gone for good, I tidied up my second home and snuck back out through the garage and drove off into the night sky. I made it home earlier than expected and to my surprise, Idris was still awake once I entered our bedroom at the wee hour of 2am. When he noticed my presence, he gave me a small smile.
"Work wasn't too bad?" He asked.
I shook my no, "Surprisingly I only had two minor surgeries, so I took the first chance I could to come back home. Why aren't you asleep?"
Idris shrugged his shoulders, "Guess I was missing your body heat."
I rolled my eyes, "Boy please. You say that like you haven't spent a year plus on the couch."
He laughed at my statement, "Yeah but that was then. I'm trying to make shit right for us for once."
Too late, I mumbled to myself as my back faced him. I unsnapped my bra then quickly pulled my night shirt over my body before pulling back the covers and joining him in bed. "You don't agree with me?" He spoke after I remained silent.
I sighed, "I don't know, Idris. I can't count on my hands anymore how much you've said this statement and have went back on your word. I'm frankly tired of games right now."
"Yeah well, this isn't game behavior. I want my wife back, I want my happy marriage back-"
"When were we ever happy!?" I rudely interrupted. "Don't mix happiness for settlement Idris. We settled and you know it!"
To avoid our yelling match going any further, he rose up from the bed and grabbed one of his many pillows. "You were right. The couch doesn't seem half bad."
Once the door shut, I angrily threw my fist down in the mattress. I hated that he convulsed such an anger from within me but goddamn, I don't know how much longer of this I can truly take. After I calmed myself down, I turned the television to my nightly NickToons marathon and attempted to settle for some peaceful sleep.
***
Aaliyah
I searched through Forever 21's website aimlessly as Rue laid on my shoulder and watched old reruns of The Proud Family. This was a normal routine for us post school day, and I can honestly say this was the most favorite part of my own day since being here in her home helped me escape the craziness of my own. Around 2 am I think, I heard my parents arguing as usual and my dad leaving to go to the couch .. as usual. I know they probably think I'm oblivious to their toxic nature, but if anything I'm too aware! I first started to know something was up when I noticed them limiting how much time they spent with each other. If one entered one room, the other would leave or my mom would come home and only speak to me and barely acknowledge my father's existence and vice versa. I didn't think much of it at the time and simply blamed it on their stubborn attitudes but when my nana showed up at my door ready to take me for a while, I knew things were truly serious. It was a terrible day as I watched my mom sob in her mother's arms to not take me, but, she knew it was the best decision while they attempted to repair whatever relationship was left.
The first few days spent at my Nana's consisted of me crying/pledging with my mom to let me come home, but she couldn't take me in fear that her problems would mule their way into my life. Yet to soothe me, she spent a few nights over and cuddled me close in her old, childhood bed until I became comfortable with my new surroundings. Because of this, my love grew for my mom even more than you can imagine; I swear that woman is my everything and it makes me so angry to see her continuously hurt by my toxic father. He tore her down constantly but she continued to put on a brave face for me even though I knew she was dying inside. These actions definitely placed more strain on my father's and I relationship. When their arguing was at their worst before I left, I would watch him drown himself in brown liquor and stumble and wreck the house like a child; a damn shame if you ask me. Once upon a time though, I did hope that they would get back together, be a happy family and maybe they'd give me a sibling or two but .. I don't foresee that future for us anymore. I know my mom is still holding on because she thinks them getting a divorce will affect me even more, but eventually I'll have to tell her that them separating will probably be for best for my sanity and hers.
Before shutting off my laptop, an incoming call was coming through on FaceTime. I pressed accept and in no time was met with my mother's gorgeous face.
"That better be Rue in the background or else, Aaliyah!" She exclaimed while staring at the screen in confusion. I covered my laugh and flashed Rue who was still engulfed by the television. "Good girl."
"I thought you'd be sleep?" I asked. I knew she was the on call surgeon last night and usually with working nights, she's dead to world until further notice.
"Surprisingly I'm not that tired. I figured I get up and make us some food but you've seemed to abandon me."
"Aw, my bad mom. Don't hold it against me!" I pleaded in a voice she couldn't deny.
"Yeah yeah.. when are you coming home?"
"Ask if you can stay the night..." Rue mumbled quietly. Before I could speak, my mom interjected.. "Yes, she can spend the night Rue! Don't be having her up late doing no dumb shit either!"
"Language, Doctor Knowles!" Rue spoke in a joking manner. Her and my mom always had a goofy rapport with one another, so I wasn't surprised when they bursted into a fit of giggles after their exchange.
"Thanks mom, I'll call you later."
She glanced at the screen and made a pouty face, "Alright. I love you soo much and behave.. I mean it." I blew her kiss before ending the call.
"I figured you'd want some space from those crazies you call your parents." Rue spoke as she got up from the bed.
"That's true, thank you for thinking of me.." I mumbled while watching her maneuver around the room.
"And, we can have a little bit of fun," She spoke in a persuasive tone.
I rolled my eyes immediately, "Oh no. I'm not doing that stuff with you anymore-"
"Aw, 'Liyah please! You enjoyed it the first time!"
"Yeah and when it was over I was beyond paranoid. That shit is no good for you Rue."
She scoffed, "It's just weed, Aaliyah. Medical doctors even use it, I wouldn't be surprised if your mom has ever prescribed it to some of her patients." We both sat in silence as she continued to rummage around in her weed stash. "Fuck, I'm running real low. Make a run with me?"
I bit the inside of cheek and looked at her with angry eyes. I honestly was on the fence about Rue and her habits, but I don't want her to go out alone and possibly get hurt in any way. "Fine."
We traveled to her outdated, 2002 Honda Accord - a gift from her dad - and took a small drive deeper into Brooklyn and arrived at the infamous Marcy Projects.
"That person you get it from lives here?" I asked with a hint of disgust. My parents always kept me far away from this area and by the looks of it, they were justified in their ruling.
Rue made a small laugh, "Absolutely not. This is just where he's stationed currently. The man almost services every borough in this city." .. "I'll be back okay?"
"Hurry up." I requested. She grabbed her money and fixed her hoodie over top of her curly locs. I watched intently as she approached the black Dodge Charger and opened the door to take a seat inside. The tinted windows obstructed my view to pry further, but thankfully she was out of car and back to me within minutes.
"He says hi," Rue said, slightly winded from her journey.
I squinted my eyes, "You told him I was here with you!?"
"No, Aaliyah. The man sees everything. Damn, be thankful he has some manners at least."
I shook my head, "He's none of my concern."
Before Rue said her piece, the honking of his horn distracted us and we looked up to see him driving away.
"Bye Jay.." Rue mumbled to herself moreso, then started her own car to take us back to her home. Before we made it back to her room, she stopped in her kitchen and grabbed a few snacks and heated up our favorite combination pizza rolls. We got comfortable on her colorful bean bags and she laid out her items to began to roll her blunt. I watched in awe as she grind, unraveled, and packed a masterpiece. Next, she grabbed her lighter and swiftly moved the blunt through the fire until smoke began to escape. She held the blunt to her lips, took a long pull then released as the smoke surrounded the both of us.
"May I pass it over?" She questioned. I could already see her eyes starting to glaze over and her body language become more relaxed.
I sighed and grabbed the blunt from her, ending my denial that this was the relief I somehow needed. Still new to this, I struggled to take an adequate pull and ended up in a vicious coughing fit. Immediately, Rue rushed to my side and coached me through some deep breathing. "I can't do this!" I managed to say in between coughs.
Rue laughed, "It's okay, you'll get the hang of it eventually. Here, let me help you." She tried a different technique, taking a pull and grabbing my mouth toward her's. "Open." I followed her command and she blew the puff into my mouth then quickly closed my lips shut. "Now swallow.. better?"
"Better."
We chose to stay in close proximity of each other and fought against the urge to tear our eyes away. I always saw Rue as a beautiful soul and her looks were even better. With her being just a year older than me, I also loved the guidance she provided for me, despite her own personal flaws. As our relationship grows every day, I find myself getting more comfortable around her to the point that I feel an even different feeling I can't quite explain.
I sighed to interrupt our silence and we finally took time to glance intensely into each other's eyes. Aimlessly, we continued to pass the blunt back & forth until we ended up on our backs on her comfy bed. Our hands lightly grazed each other's until Rue turned on her side to face me.
"Feeling good?"
"Yeah.. better than good." We bursted into a fit of laughter and continued to talk about nothing important until we fell asleep in each other's arms.
***
Thoughts?! I want the good, bad, & ugly 😂
Do you think things will pick up fast in this story?
Please vote & comment!
- Rae 💞