American Boy is about the guy I liked in 2018, loved in 2019, and moved on from in 2020. This is how I wish my love story went with him even though it's always been unrequited <3.
This is for you, D.
And for everyone who have loved before.
Chapter One: The Boy
Katerina Grace Miranda
Genevieve told me to write this, so I hope na magustuhan niyo 'to...
"Ang ganda niya!"
"Princesa!"
"Ang haba nang buhok niya!"
"Pinapa-rebond na siya nang mga magulang niya?"
"Ba't ang kinis nang mukha niya?"
"Dyosa talaga!"
"KATERINA Grace Miranda." Narinig ko ang pagtawag sa'kin nang teacher namin. I guess it's that time of year once again. Early intramurals week para saming grade six. We don't usually celebrate intramurals or something like that pero there's a lot of elementary students really want to watch high school games for some reason.
Personally, I'm not a fan of sports. But I guess it's fun to watch it with Genevieve.
But maganda ring time ang intramurals para makipagkaibigan sa mga high school students, just to be "friends" daw. I don't know about that at all.
"Siya nanaman? Damn, kapag maganda talaga!" rinig kong bulong nang mga kaklase namin sa likod. Tumawa si Genevieve and bumulong din sa'kin, "Of course, you're the prettiest!" ngiti niyang sabi.
I sighed.
This is seriously my sixth time pero heto pa rin tayo. I'm really tired especially I stayed up all night while watching movies with Genevieve last night. I don't have time for this pero I have no choice at all.
Rina. Smile. Just smile.
I formed a smile on my face bago ako tumayo,
"Yes po, ma'am?" nakangiti kong sabi.
Ngumiti siya, "Good luck representing sixth grade for this ms. Intramurals!" she said and they all clapped. I'm representing this time again for sixth grade elementary. The pressure is really bad, I don' even know how to feel about this.
"Thank you po ma'am." I said, widening my smile.
Since first grade, lagi na akong nominated sa either intramurals or beauty contests sa school. I don't really know anything to why lagi ako. I don't wanna look arrogant either, but I guess I'll just have to be used to this.
"Rina, kailangan ka maghahanda? Anong susuotin mo?" ang daming mga tanong na ganito sa mga kaklase ko, even teachers. It's like I always have to make sure na ma-iimpress sila sa'kin. Which is something I've been doing since my first year here.
"Di ko pa sure..." ngiti ko na lang sabi.
Tama lang 'yan, Rina. Ngiti lang dapat.
Maiintindihan nila lahat sa ngiti, di ba? "Tama na nga 'yang mga tanong niyo! Ginugulo niyo yung kaibigan ko! Bwisit!" biglang sabi ni Genevieve. Hindi ko mapigilang matawa dahil kay Genevieve. She's really just being herself!
But I'm thankful na lagi siyang nandiyan to defend me. It makes me feel so much better.
"Kaibigan? Ang ganda ganda ni Rina tapos magkaibigan kayo? Grabe!" tawa nilang sabi.
We're also used to this, people comparing us. People tend to compare me and Genevieve a lot. But she's still my friend kaya masaya ako na magkaibigan pa rin kami.
"Pake mo? You're just jealous na close kami ni Rina, and because hinding hindi ka niya magiging boyfriend! Ha!" Genevieve laughed before she grabs a book to threaten our boy classmate.
Jesus... Genevieve!
"Genevieve Diamante!" saway nang teacher namin. Genevieve then just sat down with a pout on her face. I smiled at tinitigan siya, hinawakan ko ang kamay niya nang mahigpit. "Thank you..." bulong ko sa kanya. Narinig niya ako then she smiled too.
Me and Genevieve met when were in first grade. Our friendship just naturally happened. She was childish and cute! Lagi siyang nakikipaglaban sa mga lalaki naming kaklase and of course hindi na kinakalaban nang mga babae naming mga kaklase because she's Genevieve. And also because she's a Diamante.
Diamante's influence is really big. She never really cared 'kung anong sinasabi nang iba tao sa kanya. It's our sixth year of friendship, I feel proud. Lagi niya 'kong dinedefend sa lahat nang bagay. She cares about me and I care about her too. She always gets in trouble kaya lagi akong kinakabahan at natatakot for Genevieve but it just happens, because it's her.
That's what makes me happy and proud is that Genevieve is able to be herself. Wala siyang pake.
And yet, I'm jealous of her.
I'm always hiding who I am and what I feel.
"Anong gusto mong kainin?" tanong ni Genevieve sa'kin with a smirk. I know what that smirk is. I'm so excited. I don't know why but we have this friendship thing. I guess kakain nanaman kami malapit sa likod nang library.
It's our secret friendship spot!
It sounds childish pero we're eleven years old? We're kids! We can do what we want right now! Yun ang sabi ni Genevieve. It's so funny.
"Ramen? Meron ka ba?" I asked her. She nodded. Ramen is my favorite, pwede ko lang siyang kainin kapag kasama ko si Genevieve because if I'm with my mother, hindi ako makakain sa harap niya.
My mom is too strict when it comes to these kinds of things. I also really liked what Genevieve bought when she went for a trip to Hawaii.
I think it was takis? I'm just happy na she shares these kinds of foods with me.
Food really makes me happy.
"Really? Grabe ka Rina, 'yan ba ang tingin mo sa sarili mong kaibigan? Since grade one!" sabi niya sabay may pa-dramatic effect pa siyang nalalaman. I tried to not laugh dahil baka mahuli kami nang teacher naming, malapit naman na ang lunch at ayaw kong mabigyan nang extra work si Genevieve kapag nag-ingay kami.
Ngumiti ulet ako, "Spicy flavor?" huli kong tanong at mas lalong lumaki ang ngiti niya sabay tango niya.
I love spicy food. It just happened that gusto ko talaga 'yong spicy flavor.
Ang akala nang pamilya ko is that I'm a vegetarian... but I actually eat meat sometimes because I crave for it pero ang paborito ko talaga is spicy ramen! 'Yong mga nabibili sa mga tindahan minsan.
Naghawakan kami nang kamay ni Genevieve habang naghihintay kami for like one more minute para makakain na kami. Other classmates in the room are looking at me. Medyo sanay naman na ako sa mga titig nila, it's so much worse during PE.
'Yung tiyan ko kanina pa nag-iingay. Kainis naman kasi, dapat kinain ko na lang yung tinapay na iniwan ni mama. Pero of course, diet. Kailangan ko ring mag-diet at ma-maintain 'tong katawan ko.
I know that I'm too young to be starving myself but... siguro sanay naman na ako sa ganitong bagay dahil sa pamilya ko.
"YES!" sigaw ni Genevieve at talon niya after nag-ring yung bell. Finally, lunch na rin!
I'm Katerina Grace Miranda. Mas kilala ako sa pangalang Rina lalo na kay Genevieve. I'm a sixth grader and ako yung muse ng klase ko. This is my sixth year bilang muse nang klase ko.
Honestly, at first masaya ako na madaming nagsabing maganda ako pero sometimes hindi ko maintindihan 'kong anong nakikita nila sa itsura ko. Hindi ko lang talagang maintindihan. Na-pressure ako sa lahat nang expectations nang mga kaklase ko kaya nagdesisyon akong i-maintain ang katawan ko.
"Huh, wala namang mga security today! Success para sa'ting dalawa! Yay!" as always, energetic nanaman si Genevieve.
We checked the back of the library over and over again and nung narealize naming na wala talagang staff or security, umupo agad kami sa likod at nagsimulang ilabas 'yong lunch naming pero ang totoo... mga snacks siya kaysa lunch.
Nagtinginan kami sa isa't-isa for like five seconds... and we laughed like idiots. Nakakatawa lang kasi yung itsura naming ngayon. Mukha kaming haggard dahil tumakbo galing sa classroom naming hanggang sa likod nang library. Nakakatawa lang.
Si Genevieve naman with her messy hair.
Sinubukan kong ayusin 'yong buhok niya but she pouted, "Wala nang pag-asa ang buhok ko Rina, kain na lang tayo!" ngumiti siya. She's right, pero of course kailangan ko pa ring ayusin 'yong buhok niya! It's so beautiful pero lagi siyang walang pake. Kahit pa nga damit niya or itsura niya.
"Alam ko, pero importante pa rin na me as your bestfriend na alagaan 'din kita!" away ko sa kanya, she sighs.
Binuksan niya 'yong backpack niya at nilabas yung ramen na niluto niya sa science class nung second class namin. May microwave kasi malapit sa lab nung science class.
But sadly... "Pasensya na, walang soup!" soup is the best part! Pero nasanay na ako na walang soup basta may makain lang... okay na ako.
"Okay lang." 'yon na lang ang nasabi ko, basta may pagkain!
"Eto na 'yong ketchup mustard sandwich, nips, at yung c2! And... hinding hindi ko makakalimutan 'yung paborito mo..." I pause at inilabas ang paborito niyang nova chips. Hinablot niya 'yon agad and niyakap ako nang mahigpit.
She loves chips and even 'yong malaat na medyo spicy na takis. You can say that Genevieve loves food. Pero, hindi naman siya tumataba? Naaalala ko tuloy yung time na kumain ako nang ramen for three days and I gained 5 lbs? Anong joke 'to?
"Wag kang mag-alala! Mag-exercise ka lang at mabuburn mo yung calories!" Genevieve says, alam na alam niya na agad ang nasa isip ko. Kanina ko pa tinititigan 'yong ramen na walang soup.
Huff. Bahala na!
Ginamit ko yung chopsticks at nagsimula na akong kumain. Who cares? Wala namang tao dito right?
Oh god, ang sarap! Matagal kitang hindi nakain, ramen ko! I tried to diet for a month without rice at ramen and now... nandito ka na! nakakain ko.
Tumawa si Genevieve nang nakita niya akong kumain. Hindi naman siya surprised pero I guess nakakatawa pa rin na ganito talaga ako kumain.
I can't even eat like this with my mother or father. Or kahit sa mga kaklase ko.
"At least kumakain ka na ulet, Katerina."
Rina and Katerina are two different people. Rina is my alter-ego. Siya yung opposite ko, siya yung nakikita nang mga kaklase ko. Well, it's still me pero mas calm and mature.
And Katerina? 'Yon ang totoong pangalan ko and more like myself. Paborito ko ang ramen, I'm in love with K-Pop and One direction. Naaalala ko pa tuloy 'yung time na punong puno nang picture ni Harry 'yung kwarto ko. Nakakahiya kaya tinanggal ko pero... si Harry pa rin forever!
"Ugh..." I almost choked dahil sa pagkain ko. I should probably get some water or something to drink. "Okay ka lang?" tanong ni Genevieve na punong puno ang bunganga. I tried to hold my laughter pero ang cute niya kasing tingnan.
Hindi ko rin mapigilan ang sarili ko. "You're like a chipmunk!" I told her.
She smiles, "Are you okay tho?" tanong niya ulet.
"Kailangan ko lang yata nang tubig," I told her.
"Share na lang tayo nang C2 ko!" sabi niya.
"No, alam mo namang bawal pa 'rin akong uminom niyan." I told her, ngumiti ako tsaka tumayo.
"There's a soda machine next to the library right? Kukuha na lang ako, may konti naman yata akong pera na binigay sa'kin ni mama... I'll be okay!" sabi ko, tumango siya like a little kid.
Naglakad akong papuntang soda machine na sobrang lapit lang naman sa likod nang library.
Nagiisip ulet ako 'kong kukuha na lang ako nang Coke diet since wala naman siyang masyadong calories din. Hindi ko naman siya iniinom pero mas maganda na coke diet just in case na walang bottled water doon. Pagdating ko sa soda machine, may estudyante na nasa harap 'non.
He's wearing a normal uniform ng school.
Matangkad 'yong lalaki, actually... he's like really tall. Na-realize ko na same kami nang uniform... pang-elementary, tulad ko. Sa unang tingin para siyang galing high school.
Mukhang hindi naman siya bibili nang inumin, nakatitig lang siya sa mga inumin. Malapit na 'kong suminok! Hindi pa ba siya tapos tumitig? Hindi niya man lang ba nakikita na may bibili sa likod niya man lang? Who is this guy anyway? He might be at my grade pero baka ibang section lang?
Hindi na ako makapaghintay at hinarap siya, "Excuse me?" sabi ko. Tumayo siya nang maayos at tumalikod para harapin ako.
My eyes widen in surprise when I realize that... I don't really know who this guy is.
Pero... it's so weird. So strange.
Matangkad siya, mas matangkad pa yata siya sa buong elementary department. He has a dark brown hair with few light brown highlights. Ang puti din niya, ang kinis din nang mukha niya. Hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko na titigan ang mukha niya.
Tiningnan ko ang buong mukha niya ulet and all I could think of while observing his face is 'kung gaano siya kagwapo.
Matangos ang ilong at 'yung mga mata niya, it's blue? At ang labi niya...
"Like what you see?" nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. Napahakbang ako pabalik dahil sa sinabi niya.
Naramdaman ko rin ang mabilis na pagtibok nang puso ko. He's also wearing that smile nung sinabi niya 'yon. What the heck? Anong nangyayari sa'kin? This is so weird!
"Excuse you! I-I... I don't like the fact na hindi mo man lang narerealize na may taong bibili habang nakatitig ka lang diyan." I told him. Kailangan kong kumalma, seriously! Ano naman 'kong gwapo siya? Bwisit! Kahit ako napapamura!
Tsaka ano 'bang pinagsasabi ko? Realize? Anong realize? Naghintay na lang dapat ako at di nagsalita! But this guy started it anyway! Kung ano ano pang pinagsasabi niya! Ang landi!
I heard him chuckle, "Well, sorry... tinitingnan ko kasi 'kung anong pwede 'kong inumin," nang sinabi niya 'yon, he then stares at me.
Anong tinitingin tingin mo diyan? Bakit ba ko kinakabahan? Is it because gwapo siya? Siguro... pero Rina you need to think about Harry Styles instead, mas gwapo siya! Isip! Isip!
"I didn't realize..." he pauses as he leans closer to me. Sa bawat hakbang niya papalapit sa'kin ay mas lalong lumakas ang pintig ng puso ko.
"...you're actually really pretty."
Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi niya sa'kin. Who is this... man? At ako naman nagpapalandi sa mga sinasabi niya? Napapamura ako sa ngiti niya!
This is bad.
Humakbang siya pabalik and smiled. "It's nice to meet you..." he paused again. This time, tiningnan niya ako from head to toe.
"...ramen girl." Naglakad siya papaalis after sa sinabi niya.
What... what the heck? Anong pinagsasabi niya? What does he mean by ramen girl? Anong pinagsasabi ni't—
Oh my god... bakit amoy ramen ang uniform ko? Tiningnan ko ang uniform ko sa reflection ng soda machine and realized that there are a few pieces of noodles na nakakalat sa top ko. Ugh! Nakakahiya!
At hindi naman din sinabi sa'kin ni Genevieve!
Talagang kain lang talaga ako! Ugh.
Anong klaseng kaibigan ba ang meron ako? Why did she not tell me na ang dumi nang top ko habang palakad ako sa soda machine? Paano ko may makakita sa'kin at ganito ang itsura ko?
It's almost time para sa fifth period. Nakakainis! Nakakahiya pa rin! Tapos na rin kaming kumain pero of course, hiniram ko yung jacket ni Genevieve dahil I can't afford looking like this! Baka pagtingnan ako, sapat na yung dalawang tao na na may nakakita sa'kin na ganito... basta nakakahiya!
I'm wearing a light green jacket, it's actually the school jacket na hindi ginagamit ni Genevieve dahil daw 'not her style'. I just need it to hide my dirty uniform.
Naglalakad kami ni Genevieve sa hallway pabalik sa classroom, we only have like three minutes left before our MAPEH class starts. What's worse is baka mag-PE kami today or mag-aaral kami about musical notes.
No offense but... hindi ko maintindihan 'yong mga musical notes.
Sinusubukan ko but you know... hindi naman ako ganon katalino? Of course, Genevieve cheats sometimes at minsan din tinutulungan ko siya para tulungan niya rin ako.
Well, we're best friends so...
"Sana naman wala tayong music notes quiz, wala pa rin akong alam about it!" I sighed.
Tumango si Genevieve sa sinabi ko, "I'll probably cheat again, wanna join me to this plan of mine...?" bulong niyang sabi sa'kin sabay lapit.
I laughed, "You really think that we could do that? If it's a surprise quiz? Lagot tayong dalawa..." I pout, kinakabahan nanaman ako.
Dapat kasi nag-aral na lang ako, eh busy naman kasi ako kaka-listen sa one direction. Namimiss ko tuloy si Harry! I need to calm myself down, I'm a calm 1directioner! And a Harry trash.
Proud naman ako, pero inside...
"You know what they say, the best friends that stays together... cheats together!" tumawa siya sa sinabi niya.
Natawa din ako nang konti sa sinabi niya. "Wala namang sabihan na ganyan..." I whispered next to her.
But seriously, kailangan nanaming pumasok sa klase naming kundi malalate kami. And I don't wanna be late... I've never been late pero si Genevieve masyado nang late. But nothing happens dahil nga she is a Diamante. Her power, her family's power is amazing.
Pumasok kami sa loob nang klase and saw na lahat nang mga kaklase naming ay nakatingin sa harap. Nagdidiscuss na ba yung teacher namin? wala pa rin kaming narinig na bell sa hallway ah?
Tsaka may iba pa ngang estudyante sa labas eh, so... what's up with today?
I froze nang makita ko 'kung sino ang nakatayo sa tabi 'nung MAPEH teacher at advisory teacher namin.
My heart is beating really fast again.
Tumingin yung dalawang teacher at siya rin sa'min.
"Rina! You're here! Good timing!"
Good or... bad?
"Magsisimula na 'yong klase, oh... Alexander!" pinunta niya yong atensyon niya ulet sa lalaki.
"Alexander, this is the sixth grade section one's muse and representative! Katerina Grace Miranda..!" our advisor said, introducing me to this guy.
Ngumiti na lang 'yong lalaki sa'kin. Why are you looking at me like that? Bakit ganyan ang mga ngiti mo sa'kin ha? And why is my heart beating so fast because of this boy?
"Hm, Rina it is..."